Nukenin

Right after we managed to fix my little furry problem, we were able to go on missions again. During the majority of them we were split and had to cooperate with ninjas from other villages, so I didn’t really have a chance to talk with Sasuke. Even when we were working together, we didn’t have much privacy and Sasuke was quiet as always around people.

Suddenly I felt kinda lonely at my home. I lived like this since I was little and I was used to it. The thing was that now I had experienced how nice it is to have someone there. When I was returning from my wandering through the streets, I knew that Sasuke was already at the apartment and would somewhat welcome me. I couldn’t believe how much the time we spent together affected me.

It took some time before he finally got a mission where it was only our team just with the addition of Hinata. We were supposed to get to some hideout and her byakugan could be useful for finding it. There we would get a roll with forbidden technique. It was stolen because some idiots decided that it would be a good idea to get drunk at work and it took them almost two months to locate where the thief hid it.

We had to run for a few days to even get to the place. On our way weren’t many villages so we had to sleep outside most of the nights. Sakura and Hinata were a little bit confused when they saw that during the journey I had no problem with Sasuke. They even said that it looked so weird how well we got along out of nowhere. But we just shrug at these comments.

Sakura was also asking about the reason why we had so much time off, but I only told her that it was nothing important, just that we had to figure something out at the village. It would be bad if she found out that I spent all of that time at Sasuke’s. She would be either green from envy or would right away try to kill me. And then would most likely cry why it didn’t happen to her. 

When we got to the hideout, everything went smoothly. Like, the guy who stole it was probably an idiot too, since he left it there unguarded. It was ridiculously easy to get inside and just take the scroll. Because of this we had some time left before we had to return back to Konoha. With that we decided to visit for a night a little village at the border of Fire and Wind countries.

We made it just in time for the festival. It was for praising one of their local gods. We were lucky to snatch two last rooms at a little hotel and went out. It would be a shame to go to sleep and miss it, when we had the chance to go there. Because of our work we didn’t have much time for attending events.

On the streets there were people everywhere. We tried to stick together so no one would get lost among the crowd, but it was hard. Everyone was just having fun and didn’t really care if they bumped into someone. But it was still nice. I couldn’t help but smile, when I saw a little child tugging his mother's skirt to get her attention and then almost dragging her to one of the stalls. I never have a chance to experience this. The mother laughed when she handed the excited child a dango and patted his head.

I had quite a good time, but it was hard not to notice how Hinata was constantly around me. Her presence wasn’t uncomfortable but it was getting annoying. I had a feeling that she was trying to do or say something. She was looking at me, few times opened her mouth just to shut it close again and turn away, when I looked at her. Normally she stayed in the shadows and didn’t talk much with others, so it was kinda unusual for her to act this way.

Sasuke seemed that he didn’t like her behaviour for some reason, but he had his own problems with Sakura that tried to get him to get some talisman for a prosperous relationship. It reminded me a lot of the Autumn festival. Sakura wasn’t letting her hopes down no matter how many times Sasuke had to literally shove her off himself.

After some time my head started to hurt from all the noise and lights around me, so I stopped others to tell them that I was going for a little walk to the nearby forest, so they wouldn’t panic and try to find me. It took a few minutes of walking to get far enough for the noises to die down. There was finally silence, only sounds of branches in light wind and small animals in bushes.

I got to a glade and I laid on the ground, grass making it soft like a pillows. It was a little bit cold but not enough to make me shiver, so I didn’t mind it. I couldn’t remember when was the last time I was like this. I used to lay outside and relax like this after trainings with Kurama, but recently I didn’t have time or energy for it. We tried to train as much as we could, since there was still a lot for me to learn, but it wasn’t ideal.

As I was lying, I was looking at the stars. At this night there wasn’t even one cloud in the sky. Moon was close to his full form and was illuminating the surroundings that would be otherwise drowned in the dark, since no light from the village could get this far.

I almost managed to fall asleep, when I heard footsteps behind me. I turned back and saw Hinata awkwardly standing there at the edge of the glade, just enough for her not to be in the shadow of trees. At first I freaked out that she was stalking me and was watching me all the time I was there, but then I remembered that she could use Byakugan to find me. Not that it would make it anyhow less weird. Why would she go after me, when it was clear that I wanted to have a moment alone.

“Do you mind if I sit here with you?” She asked, face red as a ripe tomato. Nothing that would be uncommon for her. It almost impressed me that she managed to say it without stuttering. I just nodded in agreement. It would be rude to send her away and knowing her, she would get it badly. I would prefer to stay alone, but didn’t really have a choice.

For a while we just sat next to each other in silence. “It’s a beautiful night, right?” She said quietly as if she couldn’t think about anything better. Probably too nervous.  In an answer I just nodded again. Now I was sure that she didn’t come here to have a small talk and I didn’t want to scare her off with talking. Sooner she would get it out of her, the sooner I would be alone again.

“Naruto-kun?” She looked at me. Her face got back to somehow normal colour, only her cheeks still had a blush.  It was sometimes annoying when she called me Naruto-kun. It reminded me of Sakura and her calls for Sasuke. But that was just for me to know. I looked at her too to let her know that I was listening.

She immediately looked at the ground, but at least spoke up. “Is there someone you like?” If I wanted a fried egg at the moment I wouldn’t even need a pan, her cheeks would be enough. I could almost see a steam coming from her, from how embarrassed she was. But I finally knew what she was up to. Even though I should have known it, since I noticed her crush on me already at the academy. I just hoped that it would be the same as with my child crush on Sakura.

I felt almost sorry, that I had to crush her hopes. Even if there wasn’t someone, I would not date her. She is just my friend and I never saw her as anything else. But her question made me think. It was not like I didn’t think about it in the past, I just was too much of a coward to admit it to myself. But it was probably time to stop to deny it. “There is someone.” I said absently looking at the sky.

In the corner of my eye I saw how sad the answer made her. “I see.” She didn’t say anything else. I knew that it would take some time for her to overcome this rejection. She was some of the most sensitive persons I knew after all. But it was for her own good. It would be horrible of me if I lied to her and gave her false hope. That wasn’t something she would deserve. She was one of only a few people that ever stood by me when everyone else was turning their back to me or I had problems. Even if her family didn’t like it

She had to know that I didn’t feel about her this way, so she could move on. And maybe I should have hinted at it a long time ago, but that didn’t matter anymore. She knew it now. I stood up so I could leave. Now it was her who needed some time alone to think. But before I left, I spoke up. I knew about something that could make her mood slightly better. 

“But I noticed that Kiba watches you a lot. Maybe he has something to tell you too.” I always could see how jealous he got when Hinata was around me. Most likely everyone saw it. Beside Hinata. It might be the same case and she saw him as a friend only too, but who knows. 

As I walked I was thinking. About my answer and the mess in my head from the past few months. I really didn’t want to admit it. It was just so hard to believe that something like this could happen to me. But it became clear that it wasn’t something that I would be able to change with a snap of fingers. Not when we were around each other so often. Even when we weren’t on the same mission it wasn’t uncommon to meet each other in the village. Yeah, there wasn’t really a point to deny it anymore.

I love Sasuke. It was not a silly crush. I fell in fucking love with him.