Chapter 17
The next few weeks came and went quietly. On Friday’s Elphaba would perform at the Ruby Raven. Glinda and Fiyero would always be there. Once she left, so did they. Usually, they went back to Fiyero’s dorm. Though there was a night where Glinda dragged Fiyero into the back-most stall of the tavern. It was quick and dirty, her front pressed against the wall and his hand over her mouth to muffle the sound. That was the first Friday night in a long time she fell asleep in her own bed.
Monday afternoons, Elphaba would help her go over spells, how they worked and differed, and how to cast one properly. Glinda had yet to get to the final part of it, but it was different, having Elphaba encourage her. Yes, Pfannee and ShenShen offered praise and encouragement, but they didn’t understand anything about magic, or how difficult it could be.
“He hasn’t given up,” Glinda said one day, after they had finished their unofficial tutoring session. “He’s asks about you every day.”
“I know,” Elphaba said. “And I wish I weren’t so cruel.”
Sometimes Glinda and Fiyero would have lunch, or she would insist they walk through the gardens, hoping maybe they’d run into Elphaba, and Fiyero and her could work out whatever tension laid between them. Yes, it could very well mean she would lose the small bit of comfort she found in the prince, but it would be worth it if the two of them could find some semblance of happiness. They weren’t together nor were they not. Elphaba seemed to notice the change to some degree as well. It wasn’t till the last Saturday morning before finals that she made it clear she knew more than Glinda expected.
“How’s Fiyero?” Elphaba asked.
Glinda stopped dead in her tracks, having been tiptoeing into the room with her heels in her hand. Usually, Elphaba was asleep when she made it back to the dorm. She had made a habit of coming back early after that first night, despite Fiyero assuring her he was happy to let her stay the night. Today though, the studious witch was at her desk, taking notes from one of her textbooks that Glinda didn’t recognize.
“Elphie, it’s not…how long have you know?”
“It wasn’t hard to figure out after the fourth time I made it home and you were conspicuously absent. You also made it very clear what you wanted. I guess I should congratulate you.”
“That isn’t fair!” Glinda yelled. “It would never have even happened if you-”
“If I what, Glinda?” Elphaba raised her voice loud enough that Glinda worried she would wake up the girls in the next dorm over. “You think I don’t know what I do when people get close to me? You think I like being this way?”
Elphaba knew she had no right to be mad. She had been the one to forswear Fiyero. He had desperately tried to reach her, and she had turned away. That moment in the room, how quickly he had pulled away from her. Even though she knew he meant well, it stung. It reminded her how far she had let her walls fall, and how vulnerable she was to him. Elphaba just couldn’t do it, she couldn’t stand to be so open and defenseless, so she cut him loose, before she could feel that pain again.
“He still wants you,” Glinda said. “There’s a reason it’s always Friday. He watches you; I watch you, and by the end of the night it’s like we’ve been consumed.”
The ticking of the clock punctuated through the room. Elphaba was at a loss for words as she stared at Glinda, unsure what to say. Of course, she could sit here and focus on Fiyero, how he and Glinda had fallen into one another. She could tell Glinda she had gone to the bathroom that night, that she held her breath at the muffled moans and only left after the quiet grunt Fiyero made as he finished. She could pretend she was angry at them for her maladaptive actions and continue pushing away anyone who might grow to care about her.
Or she could deal with the fact that Glinda just confessed that she was using Fiyero as a partial stand in for Elphaba.
That perky blonde was going to be the death of her, Elphaba was sure. She was beyond exhausted, having studied since she returned from the Ruby Raven, unable to sleep when she saw Fiyero and Glinda walking off together yet again. So, she did what she always did, throwing herself into books and fact that she could make sense of. Now, she was face with very real emotions that held no sense to them at all.
There was no sense to Elphaba when she stood up. Her chair dragged against the ground, making a horrendible screeching sound. It caught Glinda’s attention for just long enough that she didn’t comprehend Elphaba walking towards her. By the time she realized it, her face was cupped in Elphaba’s hands, and the girls’ lips were on hers. It wasn’t like the kiss they shared weeks before. This one was needy, wanting, passionate, and desperate.
Elphaba had refused to think of the kiss for so long. After Fiyero had reacted the way, he did, and the feelings she held for him. Then there was Glinda, who drove her absolutely mad. The more she thought about her, the madder she became. Her blonde coils, the curve of her waist, her annoyingly chipper voice, and the softness in the pink of her cheeks. She didn’t know what to do with everything she felt, nor did she know what to do now as she pulled away from the Blonde.
The two women stated at one another, starlight eyes looking into emerald ones. Elphaba broke first, and before Glinda could say anything she was out the door. Her flight or fight responses had kicked in as strong as ever, and she couldn’t bare the idea of rejection. It was better to disappear before she could risk such a thing.
--
At breakfast Shell and Avaric were dining on their usual eggs and toast. Fiyero had joined them, if only because he had slept in far later than intended.
“Where do you and Glinda run off to every Friday?” Shell asked.
Fiyero practically choked on his water at the question. How was he supposed to explain any of it. Glinda and him, how they watched Elphaba. Then what? Ran off to satisfy the carnal urges they both had for the girl. That he took her throughout the night, knowing it was someone else she pictured in between her thighs. That somehow it turned him on more than if she had been thinking about him. Or was he supposed to tell them about the Ruby Raven. No, he promised Elphaba that he wouldn’t tell anyone, and he planned to keep it that way.
“We just walk around town,” Fiyero lied, rather sadly. “I get overwhelmed by the noise, and she refuses to let me out alone. Says it’s dangerous that late at night.”
Avaric held back a snort, clearly not believing a word coming from Fiyero. Shell also seemed less inclined to believe the story the prince had woven. It didn’t matter though, that was all the answer they were going to get.
“Maybe he’ll be more honest with us about his plans for winter break,” Avaric suggested.
“My parents will be in the city for the first week, for the Lurlinemas party queen Ozma is throwing. After that I assume I’ll spend the rest of the time back in the Vinkus.”
“I can’t believe you’re invited to the soirée. My parents tried for weeks to get an invitation, but each time they were denied by the palace. What about you Shell? Your father had to have gotten an invitation, being the Eminence of Munchkinland.”
Shell let out a groan at the insinuation. His father officially wasn’t going to the party because unionists didn’t celebrate the holiday. Anyone looking back before Ozma’s rule would see a different story though. One where the family was invited each year to celebrate.
“When Ozma took over, while she couldn’t actively refuse to invite my father from such things, he was warned in no uncertain terms that it wouldn’t be a welcomed visit.”
Avaric laughed, almost disbelieving of it all.
“What did he do to piss off a newly minted queen so thoroughly that she would all but publicly disavow him?”
Shell shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. There was no real answer he had.
“He’s asked most of his connections, but there doesn’t seem to be a clear answer. The head of her guard though, that grouchy Lion, said it had something to do with “her dearest.” Not that anyone’s ever gotten a clear answer out of him.”
“You could always ask him now. He’s been staying in the Professor’s dorms?”
Shell’s head perked up, and it became clear to Fiyero that this wasn’t common information. While Rain had wandered back to the city, Lox had stayed firmly in place. Once or twice, he saw the Lion sitting in the garden’s with Elphaba. Glinda said she’d seen him a few times in their room, and in several instances, Elphaba had fallen asleep against the large furball.
“He’s here?” Shell asked. “The head of the Queen’s Gale force guard is here?”
“Yeah,” Fiyero said, confused at the fuss. “Apparently, he’s an old friend of Elphaba’s. He came after the accident in Dr. Mair’s class.”
“Elphaba?” Avaric almost laughed at the thought. “Oz, I didn’t think a city rat could have such high up connections. Do you think she knows Ozma? If so, I’d really do better to find a spot in her good graces next semester?”
Fiyero, who up to this point had been rather unphased in the conversation steeled.
“Don’t call her a city rat,” he practically growled.
Avaric put his hands up defensively, surrendering.
“My mistake,” Avaric said. “Old habits die hard.”
“I would work to kill it off faster,” Fiyero suggested.
Then there was quiet. No one really knew what to say after such a charged discussion. Avaric wouldn’t admit it, but the way Fiyero looked when he became angry terrified him. He knew the Vinkus had a strong military, and that there was mandatory service in most tribes. It made him wonder if it was just something official for Royals, or if had actually gone through a soldiers training. Avaric often found himself hopping it was the latter.
“Fiyero,” a familiar high-pitched voice broke the silence.
The prince turned to see Glinda running towards him. She had a worried look on her face, with tear stains running down it. He immediately stood up, making his way to Glinda and leading her far from the dining hall and into a secluded corner before anyone started asking questions. Knowing Avaric he would jump to the most insane conclusions, like an unwanted pregnancy or something of the sort.
“She knows,” Glinda cried. “I walked in, and she was awake, and she knows Fiyero. She’s known for a while.”
Fiyero let out a heavy sigh. He knew this was likely enough to happen. He had come to terms with being unable to love Elphaba directly and figured he would have to settle to do so from afar. Glinda though, they spent time together, they spoke, studied, spent time together. They were roommates for Oz sake. Elphaba could hate him, and it would sting but he could bear it. He shouldn’t have been so selfish as to risk her friendship with Glinda.
“Okay,” Fiyero said. “What exactly did she say?”
“She was so cruel when she spoke about herself. I told her you wanted her, that she was all-consuming, for both of us. She didn’t say anything for a while. Then she kissed me, really kissed me, the way you do when I know you’re thinking of her, and my voice is getting in the way. Then she ran away.”
Fiyero flinched at the comment.
“Oh, it’s okay, I would do it too, but your so quiet. I imagine it’s what having sex with a priest would be like, but then I think the priest would be louder.”
“Okay,” Fiyero said, opting not to touch Glinda’s honest ramble about his volume. “She kissed you, and before she kissed me.”
“And before that I kissed her, and then I kissed you.”
The two of them shared a look, as if they finally realized how complicated the web, they had managed to build around each other was.
“See, this is why I have no desire for…all of this. It’s messy and confusifying and now Elphie hates me.”
The words were followed by another burst of tears, to which Fiyero offered Glinda a tissue to wipe away.
“She doesn’t hate you,” Fiyero assured her. “She kissed you. It’s me she won’t talk to.”
Glinda shook her head, laughing at Fiyero. At the silliness of the man and his lack of understanding.
“She likes you, Fiyero. She tortures herself keeping you away and hates herself even more for doing it.”
Fiyero pulled Glinda against him, enveloping her into a deep hug. She quietly sobbed into his chest as he placed a kiss atop her head. They were both experiencing a special kind of torture, but at least they had one another.