Thud
Naruto falls onto the forest ground in a heap. He had been taking a peaceful nap on a cozy branch after a grueling training session with Jiraiya. Once they'd been done for the morning, the old sage had loudly excused himself to do activities that were largely frowned upon by the general populace.
"urghhh....", Naruto clutched his left hand which had taken the brunt of the impact and tried to soothe the ache. It took him a moment to realize where he was and what had happened since the fall had left him a little disoriented.
He was a shinobi, goddamnit. He shouldn't have let his guard down so carelessly, even though there wasn't any danger in close proximity.
He sat up and the tried to rub the sleep from his eyes. Once awake, he jumped up, stretched and walked up to the small stream flowing nearby. The steadily passing water was always relaxing for Naruto. He splashed some water on his face, purposely letting some drops into his eyes. The sting helped him get alert and freshen his eyes. He sipped some water and felt immediately rejuvenated.
His eyes lingered to the other end of the stream and he saw a fish writhing at the edge, almost out of the water but not quite completely. It couldn't seem to quite manage getting into the water again, because it was being eaten alive by a predator bird, more specifically, a river hawk. There was a little red flowing from its body, taking away it's life force little by little.
Now, this scene wasn't anything special or new in a forest. The whole ecosystem worked on the process of the prey being hunted by the predator and only a lucky few from the countless numbers of preys survived. It's natural and being a shinobi, he'd seen similar scenes many times before, what with traveling through forests all the time. Infact, he'd seen more gruesome deaths, which were all human.
Yet, seeing the fish before him being eaten so brutally, gave him a pause.
A word found its way into his head.
Murder.
His eyebrows creased together and a deeply contemplative look took refuge on his face as he absently walked back to the tree he was previously sleeping on. He sat down, unknown that he had, still lost in his thoughts.
Naruto had always been an overly optimistic and conventionally good person. He saw the world through a naïve perspective even after entering the world of shinobis where every day some ninja or the other was killed, maimed, injured, traumatized. All through his struggles, Naruto's point of view changed. Not drastically, not completely, but it changed.
Murder went from a total no-no to a plausible last resort if the situation demanded it.
Torturing someone went from totally evil to a necessity for extracting crucial information that could save his friends, his villagers, the people he cared about.
Injuring the enemy didn't plague him with guilt anymore.
He still had his morals intact which he valued above all else but he came to learn of exceptions out of sheer necessity.
But seeing the fish, helplessly slain just then made him question himself.
Was he really a good person?
Were his actions really justified?
Were shinobis ever good when they killed someone one second and the other, they lovingly cherished their family?
His mind went back to the conversations he'd had with Jiraiya- about the world, the cruelty, and the peace. Especially about the peace and the passion with which his mentor spoke about it. He truly didn't understand in the beginning, but after travelling for almost 2 years, seeing different parts of the shinobi lands, solving and sometimes engaging in various conflicts, seeing death, understanding death, facing death, he thought he knew then. Knew why peace is so important, why it's needed. Why it's a treasure, a rarity in this violent world of shinobi.
Whenever someone is killed, a family, a friend, an acquaintance, a village loses an individual whom they had cherished, known, and loved.
It's not about the decrease in military strength. No.
We're humans and we feel, we feel deeply and so death becomes much much more than just a body that's buried and forgotten. It evokes emotions, negative and raw, of hatred towards the ones who were responsible for taking that person away from them. Such emotions, so intense and so achingly present stir disaster. These emotions create a need for vengeance, a need for others to feel the same ache, the same pain they did.
This is human.
And so,
They take revenge.
They're not evil. They're not good.
They're in between the two worlds.
Shinobi of konoha kill to protect themselves from Iwa but in retaliation, the Iwa nin kill many of theirs.
And for what?
For peace. For happiness. For the future generations.
But why, for not even a second, can these shinobi take a step back and realise that they all want the same thing?
Each individual, each shinobi, civilian, child, mother, father, each and every village strive to achieve only one thing. And that's peace.
Then why not make it collective, mutual, and all-inclusive?
You see, humans have this nasty habit of creating divides amongst themselves as a way of organisation. But with that comes the need for a hierarchy, the need for one to dominate the other and as such, this creates nothing but conflict.
And sitting under the full, lush tree, Naruto pondered over this and so much more, that he was overwhelmed.
Because Naruto is emotionally mature, more so than any of his peers and most of the adults. He can empathize with anyone he comes across.
And he's human.
And so he feels. His heart goes out to every child he sees in rags, every shinobi he has to stab with his own kunai, every death he hears about, every tear he sees and he cries with them.
Because, no matter how much he may doubt himself,
Naruto is a good person born among equally good humans who have just lost their way so thoroughly, that every good person is an evil, heartless man in the eyes of the other.
Subjectively good. Subjectively bad.
Their morals are so twisted, grey, so very, very grey.
And this shinobi world, he thinks, has been painted in this dull grey of misery for far too long. Because no laughter, no cheer lasts long enough when the threat of war is ever-constant. So he knows what he has to do. He has to bring the light, maybe even be the light for this grim world.
Maybe, he will hurt someone in the process.
Or
Maybe, he will kill someone in the process.
But that's just it.
Sometimes, the end justifies the means.
He gets up and starts walking towards the town.
..
Much later, when he's almost asleep under the stars, he realises that he could've saved that fish, still alive, still breathing, silently asking for his help and mercy.
But he hadn't done anything about it.