Taylor and Vortex Vacation Days! What the Upgrade?
Taylor and Vortex Vacation Days!
What the Upgrade?
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Warning: These events are canon. I am not sorry.
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Vortex: *Taking a swig of synthetic sugar drink* Ah, there is nothing like a soda in an advanced Japan. They care enough about the flavor to make the effort, but have limited enough resources that the kick is at its most efficient! Good times!
Taylor: *Taking her own drink* It's interesting. Definitely better than what passes as soda back home. But tell me that we are not here just to get a can of soft drink.
Vortex: No, I have some long term investments on this world and I need to double check their security. I swear super hackers grow on trees here.
Taylor: *perks up* Really? I think programming was the only class I took at Winslow that didn't suck. Any chance that we could pick up a book or something?
Vortex: *clears throat* Um, that might not be the best idea. You need some serious hardware to run the programming on this world. It's a little involved.
Taylor: *narrows eyes* How involved is it to get a computer installed around here?
Vortex: That depends. How do you feel about cosmetic brain surgery?
Taylor:...what.
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Taylor: So these two "Brother Gods" owe you money and we're coming here to collect?
Vortex: No, we're here to see how much longer it's going to take for them to show up. Then, when they do, I will take the penalties out of their GLOWING HIDES. According to the schedule I was able to wrangle, they're due back within the year.
Taylor: Joy. Well, can we at least get some practice in? If we are going to be stuck here for that long, I don't want to get soft.
Vortex: Sure, there are a whole bunch of reasonable targets. One of the assholes created a species of anti-life constructs that like killing anything with an emotional spectrum. We should probably get our hands on a sword or two though. These guys have pretty thick skin.
Taylor: But Vortex, I have like six swords already. Why would I need a new one?
Vortex: Well, to fit in of course! A blade is not a weapon here unless it's also a gun! Oh, and uses special crystals to release elemental effects while changing into multiple combat and transportation forms.
Taylor: What.
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Taylor: Why the hell did we have to get so many damn shots to come to this world?!
Vortex: My travel techniques are fairly good about diseases, but they manufacture synthetic Ebola here to prevent people from stealing shopping carts. Believe me, you do not want to skimp on your vaccines.
Taylor: And WHY did we come to this pit?
Vortex: Technically, I run a minor religion here, and have to make an occasional appearance to keep it legal.
Taylor: Really? You went there?
Vortex: The tax and insurance breaks made it worth the effort. Believe me, neither of those organizations are worth ducking. Their torture rooms are kept very traditional.
Taylor: Why the hell did you bother with this place if you have to run a religion in order to deal with the Tax brackets?
Vortex: I lost a bet to a local newspaper writer, and he is a vindictive little shit when crossed. I think he touched off a night of terror using fecal matter and his hotel phone once.
Taylor: Joy. Can we at least get something to eat?
Vortex: Sure. Let's just check for a place that doesn't serve long pig. Cloning technology should not be used that way.
Taylor: WHAT!?