Mind is a prision
Hijame yawned and set down their journal, and then yawned again and rubbed their eyes. Hijame looked at their small dresser beside her bed with a lamp on it, and their alarm clock read 6:35, it was only two and a half hours before they had to wake up again. Hijame yawned once more before swinging her legs out of the bed from the warm covers. They sighed and had contemplated on whenever to get at least two hours of sleep, or just start to get ready and have a relaxing morning? If so then her parents would know she got up early for some reason, and no doubt their brother would see she didn't get much sleep, but wouldn't comment as it wasn't the first time, and it wouldn't be the last. Deciding that getting up was more work and needed energy power that Hijame did not have, they laid back down in bed to get some more rest. "How troublesome, mornings are such a bore- a drag as Shikamaru always says and I'm sure he would agree." Hijame mumbled under their breath, "And I'm hungry now but I'd have to get up." Grumbling Hijame simply laid back down and within minutes they fell asleep. When Hijame woke up the first thing they noticed were the alarm ringing in her ears, Hijame quickly shut the alarm off, looked at their chest and groaned before rolling back in bed- they were not dealing with that shit, at least right now. That, can wait.
With what felt like seconds, their mother came into her room "Wake up, it's time for you to go to the academy, remember today is the test," Hanako warned and left the room. Not fully awake Hijame groaned before rolling back over, not understanding a thing their mother said. A few minutes later their mother started yelling at her from down the stairs, "Get up Jun! You have academy today! Remember your test- you better have studied!"
Hijame cringed at the name feeling a familiar pain in their stomach, before making their way downstairs. Their brother stifled a laugh with a cough, successful but Hijame could clearly understand the coverup.
“no sleep gang” Hijame chuckled under their breath and finally he simply smirked and rolled his eyes.
”What do you want for breakfast sweet boy?” Hanako asked turning around from the stove where she had previously cooked eggs for their father who had left earlier for work. “I’d like some eggs as well, and bacon.” Kenji replied sighing at the nickname, but grateful that she doesn’t use such nicknames outside of the house where other shinobi could hear.
“ The same but instead of bacon Sausages?” Hijame asked knowing that they weren’t going to be asked.
”Would you like some Sasusuges with that Kenji?” Their mother asked with a loving smile, an irreplaceable love for her son was clear on her face. Kenji smiled at such warmth, it never got old for him and that made Hijame bitter.
”Sure just one or two though.” Kenji said and fiddled with a Senbon under the table. He only uses senbon if he needs to kick people out, but his mother made it clear not to use his regular kunai or tanto. If the senbon hurt somebody at all, then he was forever banned.
”Kenji!?” Hanako yelled and Kenji widen his eyes and looked up. “I said to get your plate and. Come up here.” Kenji briefly remember the split second pained look on his sister and then noticed his senbon wasn’t in his hand. Hijame gave a small nod confirming his suspicion, the senbon had flung itself to his sister.
Hijame simply pulled out the senbon and used a napkin to wipe the dripping blood from her leg. They stuck her senbon in their pocket and then gave a nod to their brother. He still remembered the day they made their promise.
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It was breakfast like that morning, and they were sitting beside him. He moved his hand where her leg was and the senbon stopped twirling because it was in their skin now. Hijame hissed and their brother looked at them in shock.
”Are you ok Hijame?” Their brother asked after a moment of silence.
”huh? Oh yep! I just scraped myself acident my!” Hijame lied easily though their teeth. Hijame pulled out the senbon and tucked it into her hoodie.
”Be more careful you silly clumsy girl.” Hanako said in a half-playful half-teasing tone and Chaisu laughed.
”Oh relax, Jun will get better and become a fine konoichi that looks more beautiful than all the rest.” Chaisu praised happily. Hijame gave a small smile, it was forced but not even their brother could tell- or just didn’t care.
”And then she will find an amazing husband to settle down with.” Hanako added and grabbed Hijame’s hand squeezing it, with love perhaps.
”Oi, and if they don’t treat her right I’ll beat him up for you! They better be tall, powerful, handsome, and amazing to my little girl.” Chaisu said and pecked their mother’s lips.
”Tou-Chan, if they can’t beat you then they clearly are not powerful enough.” Kenji said with a hidden smirk and raised an eyebrow, “What would you do if they beat you?”
”Hey! I’m sure you would help me too. No way he could beat the both of us!” Chaisu said as if challenging the future husband to even try to treat his daughter wrong.
”What if he does?” Hijame asked out loud and everyone stopped for a moment, before Chaisu shrugged.
”If someone were that powerful and would fight for you, then he must be treating you right. If not he would be away during missions anyway so you wouldn’t even care. But he must be a believer too! Any believer would treat you right! Even if you have to convert him first!” Chaisu said and slapped his daughter’s back with a grin.
Hijame bit their lip harshly in order not to cry or scream from pain. It would leave a bruise and they groaned at that. But they knew that if they showed that it hurt their father would only do more harm than good and so they stayed silent
”And you will find a gray woman too Kenji.” Hijame said with a shit eating grin knowing that topic made him uncomfortable, just as he knew the topic made me uncomfortable as well. Kanji’s eye twitched and his smile faltered before he reached over with a spare senbon and grabbed Hijame’s arm, hard. Hijame just gave an even bigger smile and used their other hand to pat his head much to his annoyance. His grin tighten and his other hand, they heard something simlair to a crack or a pop, and he grabbed his sisters hand that was petting him. Their mother squealed in delight and rambled about what the perfect woman would be and the wedding with Chaisu adding in his own thoughts once in a while. “That hurts get off.” Hijame growled under their breath and their brother smirked. “Aww don’t the little konoichi need to have pain tolerance?” Their brother teased. “Kaa-Chan !” Hijame yelled and their brother quickly used a senbon and threw it at them. It shut them up but their mother heard anyway. Kenji let go and ran his hand threw his hair.
”Yes Jun?” Hanako asked and they pointed to their brother with a nasty grin.
”Look what Kenji did to my wrist!” Hijame whined and held up their dominant right hand with a pout. Their arm was red and their wrist was purple and weird looking and Hijame winced knowing it was broken or out of place or something along the lines.
”Hey- I just grabbed your wrist! Your too sensitive!” Kenji defended himself yelling and threw another senbon at his sister in annoyance. If he was going to get in trouble, he was giving his sister all the pain he could before he was punished himself.
”If you don’t want to become a ninja than just say so! Deal with it yourself, chunins are adults you know no matter the age. So act like your age at least.” Hanako harshly lectured.
”I’m sorry but she’s right Jun.” Chaisu said and looked at the wrist, “You can be excused to tend to it though.”
Hijame stared at their family in shock with tears in their eyes, but refused to cry. They pulled the multiple senbon out of their skin before standing up, not even caring if their family saw the blood running down their legs.
They walked up the stairs slowly in shock, and walked into her room. After a few minutes their brother knocked on the door and came inside sheepishly. “So can I have my senbon back?” He asked and Hijame was shocked once more. No apology, no asking to heal them, not asking if they were ok, only... asking for his weapons back.
”Anything you throw at me, is mine.” Hijame declared and pointed to the door, “Close the door on your way out.”
”tch’ only if it hits you.” Kenji agreed and shut the door walking out and to his own room. Hijame finally let their self cry, and screamed into their pillow.
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“Breakfast is ready!” Hanako announced and set two plates of food in front of her kids. One plate was noticeable larger and one abnormally smaller.
”Why does he get so much.” Hijame mistakably whined before shoving food in their mouth remembering their mess up.
”Jun, you don’t need that much food” calling me fat, Hijame thought and her stomach dropped, “And Kenji needs protein to build up his mussels!” Also saying I can’t get mussels Hijame grimaced and drank some milk laid out for them. Hijame swallowed their food, “Gomen’nasai mother.” Hijame apologized and Hanako smiled warmly, fake warmth. Hijame shook their head and ignored her stomach that seemed to weigh more than her entire body weight. Hijame quickly finished her meal and placed her dishes in the sink and walked outside towards the academy. Kenji paused for a moment in his eating, ‘when was the last time she called Kaa-Chan,Kaa-Chan?’ He thought with a frown, ‘and when did she start calling him by his first name only? Same with tou-Chan?’ He doesn’t know why he only noticed only, he had a bad feeling. He looked at his cup, it cracked and he sighed. ‘A bad ototam, just what I need.’ He thought sarcastically.
Hijame walked through the town hearing the whispers and rumors about her but ignored them.
”Look it’s the slut’s daughter.”
”Think she’ll turn out like her mother? I wouldn’t want my son to marry a fake believer like her.”
”I bet she wears all kinds of makeup to have such a pretty face.”
”Her hair is so obviously unnatural, can’t she not look like a Barbie for once.”
”Ha! I bet she would go great with the demon fox of a boy!”
”Ew arnt they best friends?”
”I feel bad for her father.”
”At least their son isn’t a screw up. the mother made up for her mistakes, she was punished after all and got any demons out of her.”
”I heard Jun is her name, and I heard she has a demon inside of her.”
”I’ll pray for her, she must be battling a demon, I over heard her parents saying something about it.”
”I’ll pray for her family, must be hard having a child battling such a thing.”
pity, disgust, anger, and just pure resentment was nothing new to Hijame. But it did make her almost run to the academy and instead walk fast. They always walked fast, and whenever they walked their friends Would have a hard time keeping up or they would force themselves to slow down. Hijame made it to her class and walked over to shikamaru. She sat down beside him and laid her head on the table. It was just ten minutes later that Shikamaru spoke up.
”You better hold in your tears they are coming inside.” Shikamaru warned, and they could hear more students coming inside. They didn’t even hear or smell them. That was unusual and Shikamaru noticed. They didn’t even notice they were crying, but they wiped their tears and eyes anyway. They quickly put on some makeup to cover her very noticeable eye bags. They used eye drops to help the redness in their eyes from crying and then she practiced her everyday smiled per normal. Soon their ball of sunshine came into the room.
”Ohayo Wolfe-Chan!” Naruto yelled and ran up to Hijame and hugged her. “Wolfe please please do the wolf thing!!”
Hijame laughed and nodded, “O-ohayo Naru-Kun, sure but you need to stop giving me the death hug.”
Naruto dropped Hijame and laughed nervously scratching the back of his neck out of habit. Hijame made a few signs, “Dog, bore, ram” Hijame whispered and Naru-Chan along with other boys and girls, squealed in delight.
Hijame had wolf ears on top of her head, the tip of her nose black, a wolf tail, whiskers, teeth sharpened and noticeable fangs, and their pupils went into slits. They also changed their outfit. Instead of their long pink kimono they had on black booty shorts with a weapons pouch that held her senbon and a loose dark gray crop top with sleeves. They no longer had breasts and instead was male with a feminine body. They leaned back and everyone could see their chest, their toned body, their soft skin, and fluffy wolf physical appearances. Hijame blushed in embarrassment when Naruto and Shikamaru started to pet them while some of the class swooned. A large part of the class however thought they used their abilities to make people forget about their disgusting existence. After a few minutes Hijame dispelled the jujutsu, and everyone went to their seats. Dispelling the jujutsu whenever everyone liked it or not, was a sign Iruka was about to come into class. Sure enough, just as everyone was seated Iruka came into the classroom.
”Alright! Everyone will be taking the test one by one, so I will call in the first person with me. Then that person will come back and tell the next person to come inside.” Iruka announced, “Please keep your headband if you pass out of sight until you go outside of the building. Now Sakura Harano.”
Sakura walked towards Iruka and then together they walked outside of the classroom. Hijame grabbed a senbon and fiddled it through their fingers in their left hand while the right hand wrote in their journal. They were Ambidextrous, at first not exactly by choice but then they got better and wanted to become ambidextrous and so they worked hard at it. Now Hijame can proudly say they were ambidextrous, not even their amazing brother could do that! Although he could use he left hand well, he didn’t earn the title ambidextrous. They were currently journaling about their theory for single handed and no handed jujutsus.
“All it is is just molding the chakra and using none hand sign the chakra already knows how to mold itself... hand signs only help so in theory anyone could do single handed signs and even no hands but the flaw is can everyone do multiple jujutsus? It depends on how many jujustus they can preform simply from muscle memory, can they do it in their sleep? I’ve heard about some people defending in their sleep from muscle memory so in theory if I were attacked maybe if it was muscle memory I could defend in my own sleep? But I can’t sleep walk, and how does one train the body to do so? Is it just a natural gift I wonder or is it more than that? Surly even if it was a gift then they needed to do it all the time, work at it for years and practice it many many times. But even so could one train the body to defend even when unconscious? I remember sleep talking to my mother once or twice or at least it was a story... because I don’t remember it I had to be asleep.. but I’ve said the same things when I wake up so it is habit and muscle memory as well?” Hijame mumbled out loud and journaled their ideas, but a voice pulled them out of their head. They looked up, “Huh?” He could hear a bit of squealing in the background.
”Wolfy, it is your turn.” Sasuke said and out a hand on their shoulder.
”Oh thank you.” Hijame said and stood up, they scanned the crowed and saw Naruto had yet to go.
”Good luck I believe in you ‘ttebanyo” Naruto yelled and raised a fist in the air.
”You too Naru-kun” Hijame spoke softly and then walked out of the classroom. They saw as excited children woar their headband out of the building with their parents waiting for them. Hijame frowned and walked into the hokage’s office.
”Alright please make three clones Jun Kusume.” The third ordered and Hijame gulped. They may not have as much chakra as Naru-Chan, but they too had trouble. Hijame had to drastically change their appearances and make more objects than necessary to use more chakra, because dimming down their large chakra reserves was not their strong suit nor their chakra control. In fact, it took almost four months to learn how to use simple medical ninjutsu. It was a strange green chakra, and it was very helpful to learn, but Rin had been teaching them and Rin was the best friend they could ask for even if Hijame’s parents disapproved of their relationship. They could barely do a part jujutsu and it was only because the wolf transformation jujutsu felt natural, as if they didn’t need a jujutsu at all. They would dream about it all the time, it was like second nature. However clones, were a different task all together. They were lucky they had enough control to make two, but not enough to not make too much for three! Three was too hard for Hijame to not overload the clones with chakra, and then not enough for the clones as well. But Hijame had to try. They took a moment for a deep breath. “Ram, snake, tiger” They whispered and they made- two and a half clones. They made two good copies, but the third didn’t have enough and ended up falling to the floor like a ghost, it was like some body parts weren’t solid yet.
”You fail. Please send in Naruto Uzamaki.” Mitsuki said and Hijame nodded and walked outside. Angry tears pooled in their eyes at the memory of their family.
”Tomorrow I get to be a ninja! I’m so excited.” Hijame announced last night over dinner.
”I’m sure you will be a great kunoichi darling. But it’s ok to take another year if you fail. We will always love you. I’m sure you will pass next year.” Hanako said with a smile, “I always knew you would pass someday dear.”
”Your mother’s right, we will love you no matter what.” Chaisu stated with a smile.
they were right Hijame numbly thought, and walked into the classroom. “Naruto-Naru-Chan your turn.” Hijame said and gave a small smile, “I believe you’ll pass.” Without me.
”You ok ‘bayo you don’t look so good?” Naruto asked as he walked up to me with a frown.
”Yep! I just can’t help but feel nervous for you!” Hijame said and laughed it off. I’m sorry.
”Oh! Don’t be I’ll pass believe it! Because I’m the future hokage!” Naruto yelled and ran off to the office. Hijame walked back outside of the classroom and slowly walked back towards the office where her dreams were crushed. When she finally got there the door was slammed open and Naruto came out. Naruto took a deep breath and ran to the classroom. He yelled a name and Hijame ran after him outside. They ended up going to his apartment and sat on the balcony. “I guess we are both failures.” Hijame said with a dry laugh. Naruto was sitting in Hijame’s lap crying on their shoulder. Hijame their self cried in Naruto’s shoulder in return. They hugged each other as the sun started to set. Both of their dreams were crushed, but at least they had each other.. and Mizuski-sensei. Wait, what?
Hijame sat up and there in his glory was the sensei perched on the railing. “Hello. I heard you guys didn’t pass but I’ll tell you a secret.” The male said with a glint in his eyes Hijame couldn’t quiet place. “If the teachers thought they could still become a ninja they would take a different yet. You have an hour...”
Naruto and Hijame looked up in interest, “Were listening dattebayo.”
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”It was easier than I thought to take this!” Hijame said in surprise laughing with joy, “I guess our years of pranking Anbu helped! But your orange jumpsuit didn’t!”
”Hey! This has my clan symbol on it, don’t judge me!” He huffed as they finally came into the forest.
Hijame opened the scroll, “Let’s start with the first one ok? It says shadow clone and we just did clones today right? But this one is different.. I think it uses a lot of chakra?” Hijame said and Naruto nodded. “Yes!” Naruto yelled.
” This one doesn’t have the normal hand signs... you put two fingers in a plus.” Hijame explained and Naruto nodded, “so we take our chakra and basically we make a clone but we distribute our chakra evenly throughout our clones. It makes an exact clone instead of an illusion like the ones everyone else did... but their clones!”
”Alright! Let’s learn this thing Dattebayo!” Naruto yelled. Hijame laughed but nodded, “Aye aye caption!”
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“Finally.” Hijame said panting, they had ten clones next to them. Hijame quickly dispelled them and looked over to Naruto still trying. “I almost got it I know it believe it!” Naruto yelled and They smiled. They rolled out the scroll some more and after some reading a certain jujutsu caught their eye. “Flying thunder god technique.” Hijame muttered. It had a long description and it was used by the forth. Hijame knew it was going to take much much longer than a “simple” shadow clone which took their a long time as it was and they prides theirself along with Naruto in their opinion, to be fast learners. Hijame wrote down everything the scroll said in their notebook, and the drawing of the seal of confrontation. The scroll noted many times of the fourths high speed and quick reflexes, and Hijame guessed before they could even attempt the jujutsu, they need good speed and good reflexes. They practiced drawing or writing the seal on their journal and wondered if they could make their own seal and make it work so if someone recognized the technique, they wouldn’t know because of their seal. They wrote down their theory and their ears picked up unusual rustling and footsteps. Hijame looked over to Naruto who finally preformed the jujutsu, he had about seventeen clones.
”Dispell them someone-“ sniffing the air, Hijame recognized the scent, “Iruka, is coming.”
Naruto nodded and giggled dispelling them. Just a moment later Iruka came to them. “Naruto and Hijame! What have you guys been doing?!” Iruka yelled looking at the two kids in front of them.
”Mizuki sensei said we could pass with the test if the student fails but the sensei thinks they could be a ninja! They just need to learn one jujutsu from the scroll.” Hijame said and proudly slung an arm over Naruto with a big smile.
”w-what..?” Iruka whispered with wide eyes.
”Yep! And wolfy-Chan and I learned one but it took us the entire time but with wolf-Chan a bit extra though, we get to be ninjas now right ttebayo!?” Naruto yelled and Iruka badly had time to push his students out of the way before he was hit with multiple kunai. Mitsuki was in the tree grinning with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Hijame cursed at theirself, that was the same glint they saw for a moment. Naruto easily put the large scroll on his back and Hijame held his hand for comfort, either theirs or Naruto’s they didn’t know. “I’m surprised you found this place Iruka-sensei.” Mizuki teased and Hijame growled her hair bristled slightly and her teeth grew fangs.
”Naruto give me the scroll now.” Mizuki demanded and Hijame growled protectively.
”w-what’s going on?!” Naruto asked and Hijame whimpered.
”Naruto, Hijame, don’t ever give him the scroll! That’s a dangerous scroll sealed away with forbidden ninja jujutsu. What are you doing Mizuki?! Students don’t be fooled!” Iruka yelled.
Mizuki laughed, “I’ll tell you the truth.”
“B-Baka! Don’t so that!” Iruka screamed and Hijame frowned.
”what truth.... Mizuki?” Hijame asked confused who to trust.
”After an incident twelve years ago a rule was created...” Mizuki started, a mistake, incident, twelve years ago.... me?? “Stop it!” Iruka yelled out and pulled a kunai out of his leg. Mizuki laughed more, “That is Naruto, a rule everyone knows but you.”
Hijame winced when Naruto looked at them. “E-even you June-chan?” Naruto asked, he never used their name.
”The rule forbids anyone from revealing that you are the fox demon spirit!” Mizuki yelled and everyone but him paled for different reasons, “And you June!” Hijame shook violently, “You have three fathers! That was supposed to be a secret too! But everyone knows but you that your a daughter’s slut! Your just going to be a slut like her a whore! Your just a two-eyes freak defeated at birth. A mistake just like Naruto here, guess that’s why you two got along so well because your both freaks! Naruto, you are the demon spirit that killed Iruka’s parents!! You killed many villagers and you destroyed the village! Everyone’s been deceiving you both, everyone’s hated you both for those reasons.”
”Stop it!” Iruka yelled out but it was frowned by the sinking feeling and Mizuki’s words.
“Didn’t you find it strange? That everyone hated you both, especially you Naruto? Jun your a freak who has too many mistakes in your body and existence sense before you were born! You were a mistake and always will be! Naruto you are the demon fox spirit!!”
Naruto yelled and sobbed, “no! No! No! No!” His blue chakra flared all around him. Hijame held his head while they howled in pain sobbing.
“Jun takes pity on you! And holds many secrets because they don’t accept you Naruto! Nobody accepts you! And look, Hijame, Naruto hates you for it! Naruto hates you for being such a mistake!”
He grabbed a large shrunken and threw it at Naruto and Hijame. Naruto tried to crawl away badly dragging his friend with him who was frozen.
”Die Naruto!”
”Naruto get down!”
Naruto laid down flat on top of Hijame and closed his eyes. Hijame yelped and Naruto looked up, Iruka took the hit for them. “N-nande?” Naruto asked.
”Because you both and I are the same... After my parents died no one paid attention to me or gave me any support.” Iruka explained with a shadow over his pained face, “I wasn’t a good student when I was younger... I was the class clown because I wanted people to notice me. I couldn’t get attention by getting amazing grades, so I did stupid stuff. It was so hard... isn’t that right Naruto, Hijame? I knew your parents didn’t treat you right and badly paid attention but I ignored it... you and Naruto’s pain... I’m so sorry. You must have felt super lonely and suffered inside..” Iruka’s tears dropped onto the kids’ faces, “Maybe if I were more responsible You wouldn’t have suffered so much.”
Hijame started crying again and held onto Naruto. All Naruto could do was let them, and stare.
”Hahh?! Don’t make me laugh! Iruka has always hated you! He just wanted to say that so you’d give him the scroll back!” Mizuki yelled laughing again.
Hijame would have commented about how much he laughed and sounded like a mentally insane person, he they weren’t hyperventilating.
“We need to get out of here.. we’d only drag them d-down.” Hijame wheezed in Naruto’s ear, in which only he could hear them. He gulped and then ran off carrying both the scroll and his friend in his arms.
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-Sexual harassment/rape and weird/wrong feelings-
”It’s that girl.. I wonder if she is as much as a slut as they say.” An older drunk middle aged man asked his other drunk friend who took a sip of his sake. “I can say this, she has a good sized breast and a fat-ass. Wonder w-hat they feed em.” The friend laughed. The first drunk grabbed the girls arm as she walked down the side of the street and pulled her into the alleyway. The first man held her down as the second took a large gulp of his sake. “Little slut,” the second grumbled, “Do what you do best.” He pulled down his pants and his boxers. His sick was semi-hard and she tried not to puke at the sight. He drank the last of the bottle before smashing it on the wall beside them, a few large pieces was stuck into her skin. “Open up, if you don’t ann diss in ye mouths.” He threatened. Slowly the little girl opened her mouth and a penis was shoved into her mouth. He patted her head with his free hand and moaned, “s-such a good slut. U-use tonguaaaah”
Jun had no idea why, but her stomach did a small flip and she restricted the urg to smile. She hates this situation! She hates how gross it felt and she constantly needed to push down her vomit. But... he praised her and he was genuinely happy, at least pleased. Carefully Jun used her tongue and felt around the mussel. It intrigued how such small movements could make such a reaction, and wanted to make more of those reactions. Those noises she had never heard before, and wondered what else she could do to hear those again, if even they were like nails on a chalkboard sometimes. “G-good girl the bestesssst guuurl.” He slur praised again and she experimented by moving her head up further, taking in more of the membrane even as she gagged and coughed. He made the noise and the first grabbed onto her hair harshly, “Swallow what it gives you, it’s a gift.”
After that sentence the male shook and a warm sticky salty sickening substance went in her throat and continued to swallow until the substance didn’t give anymore. None was out to waist. He pulled out of her mouth and she gagged tears streaming down her face. She coughed and gagged, trying not to vomit once again. She was more than confused. She knew she was doing something dirty, wrong, and it more than made her the word slut people called her she knew that much. But she didn’t know why she... she loved, it when they used such... kind... words with her. They praised her with the word slut, as if it took another meaning. The word slut to them, to her, meant it pleased another person using their bodies. And when they praised her for it, she liked it. Because she liked getting praised, she needed it. And she hardly got gifts, it was such a... treat to her, exactly what it was a gift but... it was also a nightmare knowing whatever the villagers said was true. By the time she was done thinking the first and the second switched places to repeat the prices. But this time she kind of new what to do.
Finally the first was done and this time she did vomit to the side of her. She was crying, she didn’t want it to be like this, but she wanted the praise. She cursed her early puberty and how she got her mothers large breasts. They pulled off her clothes, they praised her smirking as they saw how she shook a little more every time they did so.
-Rape over, this is where she gets saved-
When they were about to go inside however, a masked man came and stopped them. The man picked up the nude girl and flickered away not bothering to grab the ripped apart clothes full of vomit. The girl screamed and was red from embarrassment. They were in a small apartment and the man lead her to the bathroom. He gave her a towel, and then shut the door. Getting the hint the small girl took a shower making sure to wash her body twice before coming out. She wrapped her body in a towel. On the toilet was a large gray t-shirt. She put on the t-shirt which went down below her knee-caps, and out her hair in the towel. She walked out of the room shyly. The man sat on a plain bed. “Are you ok?” He asked in a semi-deep voice. Taking a closer look, the boy looked young, like a teenager or maybe a bit older. “Y-yes who are you?” She whimpered, “I’m hound, code name.” He introduced, “What size are you? I can’t just bring you home i-in my clothes.” Hound said with a slight stutter.
”o-oh I’m a medium in girls in shirts and small for pants... and A-A-cup... size 32 for the band size..” the girl explained her face turning a cherry red as she hid her face behind a pillow she picked up from the bed. The man simply left with a nod. She frowned looking at her chest. “I don’t want to be a girl... well..” jun thought thinking about the times she dresses up with her mother and when she painted her nails, “Ok I changed my mind.. I don’t want to be a girl, today.” he decided and he smiled when it fit. “He walks to the store, he loves his brother.. he is a brother.” Jun giggled at the thought until his name appeared, “Jun... not really fitting for a boy.” He frowned and thought some more, “A new name! That Jun! Is dead!” He giggled at the thought of kicking the jun off a cliff and he rises up saying I’m alive. He wanted a fresh start... he wanted to get out of his old skin, and start a new begging... begging.. “Begging, fresh start... that’s it! Hijame!” He yelled and hugged the pillow tighter. “I wonder what size I am in boys... my parents would hate me...” Hijame hugged but then smirked, “This is me. I’ll figure it out and if they don’t accept me... not the first time.. ehem, then they can deal with it..” the fear of them actually kicking him out made him shiver, “ok maybe until I’m chunin.”
”you want to become a ninja?” Hound asked and Hijame yelped.
”a-ah Hai! I do.. hound-same.” Hijame muttered but he knew hound could hear him. The man gave him a folded pile of clothes and he walked into the bathroom. He sighed in relief at the clothes. They were black long shorts with a dark gray t-shirt and a red and white checkered haori. They came with high black ninja sandals and a leather necklace with a wolf fang and three dark gray beads on each side of the fang. She put on the necklace and slipped on her shoes. She came out of the bathroom and sat back on the bed.
”arigatogozaimashita” she said and bowed her head, “A-ano... I don’t know what I would.. what would have...”
”it’s alright. That fang.. it connects to me.” He pointed to the wolf fang and she held it with sparkling eyes. “Just push your chakra into the object, but you have to focus the chakra directly to the object or it won’t work. I’ll come as soon as I can so only use in emergencies, like earlier.”
”Hai!” She said and bowed again, “Gomen!”
He picked her up and they flickered to the front of her house. He quickly flickered away and she went inside.
.
.
.
“The fang!” Hijame whispered and quickly forced as much chakra into the fang as they could, and smiled as the fang glowed white for a moment. They looked back over to the adults as Naruto was beside them.
”Naruto is the demon fox, why do you protect him?” Mizuki asked with a growl.
”Naruto will run off and use the jujutsus for revenge on Konoha...” Iruka said and Naruto whimpered, “Just like everyone else” he whispered but Iruka continued, “That is what he would do if he was the demon fox! But he is Naruto Uzamaki of Konoha, the village hidden in the leaves! And whatever happened, Jun is not a freak perfect the way she is and she is not her mother!”
Mizuki laughed as Naruto cried of happiness, and Hijame pulsed more chakra into their necklace hidden under their clothes.
”Change of plans... I’ll kill you first!” He yelled and threw and Kunai. Hijame ran up to Iruka and caught the kunai in their stomach, shielding their sensei. Naruto growled and made thousands of shadow clones. “We won’t let you.” Naruto yelled with tears in his eyes. Hijame used some more clones and they were instructed to help heal Iruka. Hijame made a green glow and so did the clones. They focused on big wounds first and then smaller wounds. Hijame themself after knowing Iruka would be ok with their clones used their strong bandages, after Naruto was done, to tie their old sensei up. Naruto came over to Iruka and Iruka gave Naruto his headband. Hijame then had the shadow clones help them walk through the first into the woods. Hijame didn’t know if it was safe to heal theirself or not, and thought the best option was to get to a hospital after giving the man to the hokage. But after a few minutes they fell from chakra, mental, and physical exhaustion. As they fell, a man caught her and Mizuki. Hijame tiredly looked over. They coughed out blood and groaned in pain.
”H-hound-samba..” they whispered to the Anbu.
”hold on.” He said and they flickered to the Hokage in his office.
”Take Jun to the hospital-“ the third ordered but Hijame interrupted with a shout. “No! N-no hospitals gah.” They whimpered, “I just need my medical kit and I’ll be ok. I can stitch myself up and I can use some medical jujutsu.” Hijame pleaded looking up at the hokage.
”Alright, I trust you can take care of her Hound?” The third asked and hound nodded, “Good. It was smart of you to give her that necklace. She is smart enough to only use it when absolutely needed.”
hound bowed and flickered away.
They went back into the apartment and hound laid Hijame onto the bed. Without a second thought she took out the kunai and took off her skirt with hound’s help.
”I’m guessing you want me to do this?” Hound asked and they nodded.
”I-I can but I’m too t-tired.” Hijame explained, “A-And I’m Hijame.”
Hound looked up in confusion. Hijame blushed and looked away, “My new name..”
”Why do you need a new name?” Hound asked as he tended to their wounds.
”I-er I’ve decided that.. I’d choose my own gender whenever I want... normally just daily but umm I don’t want to be restricted to just one gender.. and sometimes I feel like like... like I don’t want to be either! Like I just want to be me ya’know? Like just me no girl no boy just me... is that weird? I think it would be really helpful on missions like maybe assassinations when I get older... being able to play male or female. Jun was given to a female and Hijame can be either gender or none in my case... Hijame means a fresh start, a new beginning. And of course when i-I’m male I want to be treated as one and same with female. And when I’m neither pretend you don’t know my gender or like it doesn’t exists! Although sometimes even when male I dress like a female and same the other way around.... that weird ‘dettbayo?” Hijame explained and asked hound. Finally opening their eyes, which they didn’t know were open, hound-sama was already finished with stitching and was using his medical nin jujustu. The green chakra going into the wound to heal it furthermore, and other smaller injuries. He listened carefully and waited until they were finished before speaking.
”I don’t think your weird or a freak. I think you are brave for being yourself, even if it is just coming out to people one by one. I don’t like to pry, but.. I will say whatever you say to me will never be said unless you want me to or give me permission.” Hound-sama promised, “I know that look in your eyes... it was more obvious when I first met you. That look of not caring, caring what happened to others yes, but not caring what happened to you. It was like you accepted whatever will happen to you... even death. The first time I met you it was like you waited for death, wanted it.”
Hijame looked away guiltily, “The world is fucked up ya’know? This place, Konoha... everyone is fucked up but there are a few exceptions like you hound-Sama and Naru-kun... maybe Iruka. I’m so tired... I’m so tired of having to act like the perfect daughter. I wish I could just.. let go and be myself. Tell everyone to fuck off and tell my family who I really am.” Hijame said and the. Shrugged, “I don’t mind talking to you or you prying. If I don’t want to say something I won’t say it. Unless you can read my mind or do something that’s practically impossible to beat what’s been done to mean.”
”Even torture?” Hound-Sama asked and the child bitterly laughed, “I feel like I’m in Hell hound-sama. There are situations that are worse than hell that I can imagine though.”
”Why are you in hell?” Hound-sama asked, “Is it because of the villagers and the rumors? What about...”
”go on I don’t mind.”
”what about your family? Classmates?” Hound-sama asked.
” I guess you could say their a bit.. rough with me. My brother broke my wrist over the dinner table when I was ten and stuck senbon needles into me. My arm was red and my wrist was purple. I didn’t even cry out but when I brought it to my parents attention they told me to suck it up. And they told me to deal with it by myself. If I ever need help, it gets worse for me. My brother seems to enjoy my physical pain on a daily basis. I met my best friend Rin, a girl training to become a medic ninja. She taught me first aid, and I always go to her. If my family finds out I had to get help from the hospital unless I was dying... sometimes maybe even if..” Hijame explained and then shrugged, “I can’t do anything about it because they are so discreet and the only one hurting me physically is my brother. I don’t have any evidence and I’ve already tried to get some with Rin.. but it never happened. They always know when someone spies on them and when they leave or something then I get physical punishment. Or they use physical punishment that anybody uses-spanking or something like that. As soon as I get chunin, I’m supposed to find a man and get married off. They treat me always second to my brother. As long as my husband is powerful and a believer even if I convert him, they don’t care how he treats me.”
Hound-Sama by this time sat on the bed next to Hijame. Hijame had tears down their face but they harshly brushed them away. “They didn’t think I’d pass to be a ninja.. and I didn’t do they didn’t even bother showing up. A very important event to me is like the equivalent to my brother coming home from a mission or maybe just coming home from school. I’m always last.”
”Why don’t you tell them? If they kick you out then you can find somewhere else to stay.” Hound-sama asked, “Wouldn’t it be better?”
”How would I get food, how would I get the money for shelter? Who would take care of me? Can I even take care of myself? I can barely sneer food out for Naruto’s lunches. He lives off of ramen because he can’t afford anything else. Luckily its his favorite food but it doesn’t give much to none proteins and nutrition. His apartment is nasty too and sometimes people break in and write on the outside of his apartment. He has to clean the walls and uses duck tape to repair must things. I’m not sure which situation is better, we both are outcasts and hated and shunned by the village. Besides I steel money to buy food and help Naruto out. They don’t give him nearly enough money he needs. We both don’t have parents to train us. I don’t care who I tell really, no one cares... but you and Naru-Chan who already knows some of this.. he doesn’t know the incident with us, about the necklace, he knows that my brother hurts me but not to the extend you do, and he knows they don’t take care of me well. I’ve seen other parents, I know daddy issues, mommy issues, brother issues, hell basically family issues when I see them. Not to mention a dad I don’t even know.. I want to meet him someday, if I can.”
”What is his name?” Hound-Sama asked and they shrugged.
”Dono” they said, “dono much to anything ‘bout ‘em.”
Hijame yawned and leaned on hound-sama. “I know your an anbu, but can you just..” Hijame yawned again, “T-talk for a bit...” Hijame closed their eyes, “Don’t wanna go home right now..”
”Sure kid.” Hound-sama said and let Hijame lay down in his lap. Hound-sama froze for a moment not moving until he slowly put a hand on their back. He could feel them smile and make circles on their back hopefully comforting them.
“I tell you about some of the clans than. The Uchida clan had the sharigan once they unlock it and the hyugan clan had the Bakugan. Those two clans were at war a long time ago... they fought for a reason that no one remembers because they had been fighting sense anyone could remember. One day two men came together and settled for peace. They made the village Konoha. Soon other clans joined with them and that is what makes up Konoha. The Uchida used to have a police force before the clan was slaughtered by one of their own. The sole survivor I’m sure you’ve heard is Sasuke Uchida.. but it was the sole survivor that is loyal to Konoha. Because obviously the user who killed them is still alive. That is the information known to the public at least, any details or any other explanation are for those with higher ranks...” Looking down Hound-sama saw that Hijame was asleep in his lap. Hound sighed, He knew the bitter words when Hijame spoke of their family, but he saw the sadness and tears in their eyes. It was the kind of bitter-sweet pain. It was the pain of loving someone so much, that it hurts and it hurts when they don’t love you back especially if they think they do...
hound knew he couldn’t get involved, but when he looked at the sleeping child in his lap, he knew he would be there for them... as much as an anbu caption could anyway. And only be there when they truly needed them, but hound doesn’t think that they will mind. In fact besides Naruto, hound has been the only one who has been there for them when they truly need it.
”I’ll be there, even if it is only at your darkest hours, but I’ll be there... even if it hurts me..” hound-sama promised. He had failed Naruto, and Naruto’s parents. But maybe... maybe he won’t fail this time. And he was determined not to. Hound-sama also wondered if.. if it was too late or not.