Misplaced Princess

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from the Naruto universe.

Thinking (+ flashbacks, “Naruto speaking to Kurama in her mindscape,” etc.)

Emphasis

Bijuu, etc. speaking

Bijuu, etc. thinking

Kakashi kissed his new wife and looked lovingly into her eyes, wanting to forever record this moment and all of their future ones.  He sucked in a silent breath when he met the glare of a fox that he’d been forced to watch rampage from a distance inside of a barrier, unable to do anything to stop it, only a few years ago.  

“Dog Brat.  There are some things you need to know.  Open your repulsive eye again.”  If Kurama were a human, he would’ve facepalmed at the way Dogboy opened his stupid gray eye more rather than the other one.  “Not that one, you dopey-looking moron.”

“Kakashi’s really super smart and not dopey-looking at all!”  –Kakashi jumped when he realized that Naru was standing beside him.  She grinned, awkwardly rubbing the back of her head and looking away.   “Ano…  This is my mindscape, Kakashi-kun.  And this is Kurama, he’s my life partner.  Well, until I can work something out for him.  …I guess he’s our life partner now.”

“Ugh.”  Gross.  “Naruto, I need to have a word with him.”

“Alone?  How would that even work?” she asked before fading from sight.

“What did you do to her?”  Kakashi thought of using his Sharingan on the fox but that only seemed to really piss him off: it was as if the fox could read his mind.  He quickly held up his hands after closing the eye and bowed to the enormous fox who looked very put out but wasn’t attacking.   He knew that for whatever reason, his wife cared for this demon very much.  “Kurama-sama?”

“We’ve done this before, Ningen.  I’m giving you one chance to live.  ONE chance to do right by her…”

.

Kakashi cupped Naruto’s chin and cheek, looking into her big but sleepy beautiful eyes and hardly believing all that had happened since after that harrowing experience with her “furry friend,” as she sometimes called Kurama.

Shortly after arriving, “chatting with” the nine-tailed fox, and then snogging each other more stupid than they ever had, Naruto ended up stepping out of the bathroom in a silky white yukata and slowly opened it, revealing her silky white panties and a matching bra; both had a tiny red heart pattern over them.  She shrugged the yukata off while he stood there like a gaping statue.  –He remembered thinking that this was the kind of stuff he had to look forward to now that he was not wearing his mask full-time.

And having a wife: awesome.

He was going to have to think about what he looked like more now, though.

Far more importantly, there was also some kind of other white lacy “thing” slung around Naru’s hips that had stirrup things holding up white, non-shinobi regulation fishnet stockings, too.

Naruto had snapped the “thing,” pulling it away from the curve of her hip and looking a little uncomfortable as she bit her lip (unknowingly driving him crazy.)  “Um… This looks dumb, doesn’t it?”

“No!”   But what’s it for, though?

Naruto looked away after waiting to find out what he was thinking.

She stepped toward him and then stopped again, running her hands across her torso and making him jealous somehow.  Naru turned around in a slow circle and Kakashi grabbed the mask that was on the bedside table.  He’d gotten a vicious nosebleed and needed something to wipe it up.  He was pretty sure that the thing pretending to be underwear she’d shown off was called a thong.

Those were… surprisingly good things: he approved!

“I remember… Before I was taken by that man?  When we were at the lingerie shop, ya know: you were touching a bra like this.”  She’d seen him in the mirror there.

“I was?”  Kakashi didn’t remember anything before they snuck away and got married.  Had he existed then?  Wait: yes.  She really needed to wear more clothes (NOT!) so that he could think straight.

“You don’t remember?” she asked with wide, possibly saddened, beautiful blue eyes.

“Oh, right!”  But he seriously didn’t remember what she was talking about.  And now he’d lied to her and probably made her feel even worse.  “No.  …I’m sorry; I don’t remember.  But I like what you’re wearing.  A lot!”  Naruto bobbed her head and seemed to be cheered by that.  “You’re so beautiful.”

She gently smiled at him, making his heart beat even faster.   “I… Maybe you can pick out something for me to wear in the future that you’d like better, ne?”

“You’ll wear what I want you to?”  Kakashi liked that idea very much - although he definitely liked what she had on.  She nodded at him.  “Even if what I want you to wear is nothing?”  Another shy nod.  That was… incredible news.   “C’mere, you."

Maybe after that - “here in our little love hideaway, ttebayo” -  he’d either lost control (he hoped not: he never wanted to hurt her) or he had simply gotten way too carried away but the sex had been so good.  – Really good: more than Kakashi ever thought was possible.   

Jiraiya had been right, he would later think.

But then, just a little while later, Naru-chan had come apart at the seams underneath him, moving and grinding against him in a completely different way as she cried out and blew his mind.   …And he did hers, too, if he was right about that.  

Gods, even the way she’d looked at him afterward turned him on too much.

And then in the shower… That was a whole other thing.  And although they were going to try it in the bath a few times, that hadn’t seemed like a good idea at the time because Naru-chan was so sore, making him feel like a louse but then this morning?  And then there were the other times when…

“What are you thinking about?” Naruto asked with a soft smile.  Her voice was so hoarse; she wouldn’t have recognized it had it not come out of her mouth.  “Kashi?

“How incredible you are.”  He kissed her fingertips and let out a pleased grunt when she hooked her leg over his again.

“You’re the one who’s incredible, ne?”  She snuggled up more against him, no longer freaked out and so incredibly shy about them being naked together.  –Although it was still a little weird for her.  She definitely kept the sheet up high when they weren’t …otherwise engaged.

He gave her a cocky grin.  “I learn fast.”

Naruto’s eyes went a little wide as she paled.  “Oh no!  You might be a genius but I don’t learn fast at all!”

Kakashi smiled at her.  “You’re blushing again,” he teased.  Naru tried to hide her pout and snuggled into his chest as he laid his head back on the fluffy pillows. “Just more to look forward to, huh?  Although if you get any better at what you’ve been doing to me, I’m never going to be verticle again,” he teased a little.  

“I love you.  You changed everything.”  Kakashi shook his head as he stared at the ceiling.  “My whole life.”

Naruto looked up at him, feeling awful for all that Kakashi had been through, all by himself.  She had to make it out of this Zetsu/Madara mess if only to live for him.  Kakashi didn’t need to lose anyone else. “You’re the one who was strong enough to make it through everything, Kashi-kun.  …I just hope I’m strong enough to keep us a secret.”  More than anything, I hope I’m also strong enough to keep you safe.   “I don’t want to be away from you.”

Kakashi wholeheartedly agreed with that.  He kissed her hand again - repeatedly but idly - as he thought about what his life would be like if not only had he lost his teammates (after losing his father: that was a pain that never, ever left him) but if he’d lost his sensei and his family, too.  …If he’d never known the truth about Obito.  

More importantly, Naruto’s family was technically his family now.  They’d been vitally important to him for most of his life.  “It’s going to be hard,” he whispered before taking a deep breath and looking into her eyes.   “Now that I know what it's like to sleep beside you, I don’t know if I can do it alone.”  Naruto moved up and he groaned - she looked so incredible without clothes on next to him - so that she could more easily kiss him.  When she eventually pulled away, she dragged her fingers from his cheek, across his jaw, and down his neck - and then began to draw little shapes on his chest.  It tickled but it was something she seemed to like to do.  “What is it?”

Naru bit her bottom lip.  “Come with me.  On my training trip.  As my partner!”

“I am your partner.”  He didn’t understand how Naruto’s widening smile made her look even MORE beautiful.  He felt like a lovesick fool but opened his Sharingan again to record the moment anyway.  He’d been using a LOT of non-mission-oriented chakra with it the last few days.

“I am.  But like, come with me as my teammate.”

Kakashi hummed.  “Sensei is never going to allow it.”

Naruto slumped but didn’t move too far away - not that he was letting her go anywhere.  “Aside from Zetsu and Madara, Tou-san really is the biggest problem.   That sounds so wrong but…  But we can ask him, right?”

“We’ll have to go back early: today, if you really want to do that, Naru.”

Naruto hummed.  “I don’t want to leave here but I do want to request it.  …One of my clones popped a little while ago.”

Kakashi sat up in bed.  “What was going on?”

Naruto quickly reassured him that everything was proceeding well enough there.  “Asuma was caught. –But your plan’s working so far!”  Although they both had stand-ins for them, their clones were still in Konoha.  

For the last few weeks, they and their friends had been trying to fool her parents (and quite a lot of other people) with either long-lasting clones or henges as a training exercise.  They had all been having quite a good time doing it - even their superiors had seemed to enjoy ferreting out the real from the fakes.  

The young couple - the Hatakes now - only trusted accomplishing this with those who wouldn’t stick around if Minato wanted to discuss ANBU information, etc.  Naruto was Shikaku’s apprentice so she had access to everything on the other side of the books so her situation was similar to Kakashi’s.  They were careful plus Minato and Shikaku knew what they were doing.  “I… have a feeling Shikaku-sensei knows.  –He said something odd before he murdered my clone.”

Kakashi smiled at her word choice.  “Maa, remind me to get him back for that.  What did he say?”

“He said I had ‘about four hours,’ then he stabbed my clone.  That was around a half-hour ago.”

Kakashi breathed in a deep, long gasp, wondering if Shikaku was talking about something else or if he had some idea of what was going on: that they'd run off together.  On the one hand, he figured the Jonin Commander would go straight to his best friend, The Hokage, with his suspicions but on the other hand, it could simply be too “troublesome” to deal with.  Plus, Shikaku-san hadn’t been happy that Naruto was leaving the village for such a long time on her training trip (and thus her duties at his office.).  He looked down and raised Naru’s face toward him when he saw her biting her lips.  “What is it, koi?”

“I don’t want to be away from you.  What if you… find someone else while I’m away or something?”  She looked away as her eyes threatened to tear up.

“Silly girl.” He kissed her a few times and tried to stay in check.  Naru really did look worried.  “There’s only you; you’re mine and I’m yours now.”  She was rubbing her neck and Kakashi figured that he’d probably rammed her into some weird position and now she had a cramp. “Here… Turn over; I’ll rub your back.”

“You don’t mind?”

“Nah,” Kakashi said - he liked rubbing her back when she’d had her clothes on before and knew that whenever she was really tense that’s where the stress hit her anyway.  She turned over and he got a very different idea.  He sat down on her bubbly, firm ass and rubbed her shoulders a handful of times.  

• Hadn’t he done that?  –It was hard to think.  All the blood in his head was running south again.

He shimmied back and rubbed her ass and legs, enjoying the way she groaned with his movements..  “Lift your hips up for me, baby.”  He let out a long, low growl when she did.  

She whipped her hair over her back and grinned mischievously at him before wiggling her hips.   

Damn.  He loved being married. 

. 

Kushina was smooching Aomi-chan’s tummy when Tsunade let out a long, miserable wail/whale-like sound or call - and turned to stab her 17-year-old daughter who had been VERY carefully cutting vegetables.  “Tsu-  Oh!  You scared me to death!  I really didn’t think that was a clone this time, ‘ttebane!  …What’s wrong?”  It wasn’t often that she saw Tsunade looking so conflicted.

“I have some news,” Tsunade said, regretting her life choices.  “You might want to put down Aomi-chan for this.”  Kushina wryly smiled at her and for a few blessed moments, the Slug Sannin hoped that her redheaded distant cousin knew what she’d done - allowed/signed off on! - a few days ago.  Maybe Kushina would even approve!  

She’d been drinking ever since that day.

Tsunade’s sensei, on the other hand, was The Professor, alright:  Sarutobi Hiruzen had fled the country on vacation after that little impromptu ceremony he had overseen.  

Rather than put down her little one, Kushina called out for her cousin who was upstairs.  “Ame!  Come down here if Karin’s asleep!”  Tsunade groaned and Kushina began snickering.  When her cousin joined her on the couch, Kushina voiced her suspicions.  “So tell us. This is about a certain relationship, huh?”

Tsunade kept her weapon in a tense hand but slowly bobbed her head.

Kushina laughed while Ame tried to hide her own giggles.  “You’re in a 3-way with Jiraiya and Orochimaru!”  Tsunade’s eyes widened and she lit up in a fiery blush before her normal (more furious) expression followed it.  “I KNEW IT!  You owe me 1,000 ryo, Ame!”

Ame laughed but could agree with that.  She turned a kind smile to Tsunade.  “I only bet against you TELLING us, Tsunade.  I figured that you might want to keep it a secret.  You’ll receive no judgment from us about your polyamorous relationships, ne?  We’re happy for you.  Right, Kushi?”

“Rrrr-ight,” Kushina chirped.  “Congratulations Tsunade!  Although I still don’t know what you see in either one of them!  –They are strong, though, but…”  

The more Kushina talked, the more Tsunade’s demeanor slowly went from one of embarrassment to being absolutely thunderous.  How dare they make fun of her?  

Want to know something funny, cousin?!  

“I was GOING to tell you that Naruto-chan married Kakashi-kun a few days ago at the Uzumaki Temple but forget it!”   The three women stayed motionless in their positions, silent and struck stupid (two of their smiles falling slowly) until Tsunade closed her eyes - clearly in pain - and little Aomi-chan let out a loud squeal.  Kushina began to hyperventilate, hoping beyond hope that this was a joke before reaching under the sofa for a kunai to hurl at her distant cousin as she began shouting.  

Unfortunately for almost everyone involved, it was one of Minato’s Hiraishin kunais.

He appeared with similar kunais in hand moments later.  Ready to fight, he had immediately checked their surroundings before picking up his baby since his wife was sobbing - and now Aomi-chan was, too.  “It’s okay… It’s alright!  Tou-san’s got you, Aomi-chan,” he soothed as he bounced her and looked for answers from anyone.  “Are you alright, Kushina?”  His wife shook her head and let out another loud series of sobs.  “Ame?”  

Ame was staring forward looking like she’d seen a ghost.

“Tsunade?  I need answers, please.”  Still nothing.  “Where’s Naru-chan?  She was here, I thou–  Is she alright?  Did something happen?!”

“SHE GOT MARRIED?” Kushina wailed before pointing at Minato who was struck speechless.  “YOU!   THIS IS ALL YOURFAULT!”

Minato knew that he couldn’t have heard that right.  “Wh-  I - What?  How is… What?!”

“YOU SAID ‘NO SEX UNTIL MARRIAGE,’” Kushina wept.  “I DIDN’T GET TO SEE MOST OF HER GROWING UP AND NOW SHE’S GONE!   SHE GOT MARRIED WITHOUT US!”

Tsunade sunshinned away while Minato tried to think of how this was possible.  It didn’t make any sense!  “What?  …Who?” he asked numbly.  This isn’t happening.   It didn’t seem like the type of thing that his wife would joke about, although she had been giving him a hard time about Kakashi becoming his son-in-law one day.  “No.  Very fun-”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘WHO,’ you baka!  She married Kah-kah-shi,” his wife cried, sobbing out each consonant of her son-in-law’s name.  “Son-in-law!  –YOU CAN’T KILL HIM!  I won't allow it!”  Minato was still standing in the same position he had been - and then he disappeared.

Naruto jumped out of bed when she felt… something: DANGER!  Kakashi was at her side less than a second later, brandishing a sheet around them.  He gaped when KI filled the room and it seemed like his sensei/father-in-law’s presence was everywhere.

He must have a marker on one of us...

“Oh, shit.  I can explain,” he began.   “Sensei!”

Minato was hit HARD with a genjutsu.  His fisted hands returned to his sides as he took in the image of Naruto and Kakashi covered in gold chakra in front of the teenagers he knew were really there.  Kakashi looked so much older and Naruto much harder than they were currently.  Nine tails were waving behind them. 

 –That was one of Naruto’s pasts, wasn’t it?

He fell back onto their bed. “Oh, Kami.  What was that?”  He jumped off of the offensive BED and realized that Naruto was standing over him, draped only in a white sheet.  The whole room smelled like…

“Tou-san?”

He disappeared in another flash.

“Kakashi?  I – I think we’ve gotta go back!  Did you do something to him?”

“No, of course not!  And, maa… I don’t think I want to go back after that.”  He continued holding his gut, appreciating the way that his wife came over and tried to soothe him.  “I know we talked about something like this happening but…”

“That was scary,” Naru summed up.

“...”

The newlywed couple silently cleaned up and began making their way back to Konoha.  No hand-holding, no anything.   

Until Madara and Zetsu were neutralized, it was the best way.  Naruto signed in at the main gate of Konoha while Kakashi went in through the ANBU entrance.

.

When she answered the door, Kushina was already holding her fist up over her head and waving it around menacingly. “You have a LOT EXPLAINING TO DO, YOUNG LADY!”  Ame was holding on to her waist to hold her back.  

Naruto flinched and covered her head, remembering Sakura being like this once upon a time.   She used to really hurt her when all Naru wanted to do was be her friend!  “I can explain!”

“You can explain?!” Kushina repeated, her eyes welling up in tears again.  She tried to get her temper under control as her cousin pulled her back so her daughter could enter the house.  “Is it TRUE?”   Her face slackened when Naruto nodded - and her voice became very deep and scary.  “Where is Kakashi?”  Naruto hid behind the couch - which Kushina flopped down on moments later.

Kami, her mother was a wonderful person but she could be absolutely terrifying - even now.  “He should be here any minute.  We don’t want to be seen together.  Well, we do but we… don’t want anyone to know that we're married!”  After a long tense silence, her mother looked infinitely hurt but held her arms out and Naru ran into them, kneeling on the floor in front of her - both of them sobbing loudly and saying nearly incomprehensible things.
     -“This is all because you’re going to be hunted.  IT’S ALL MY FAULT!  Naru-chan, you’ve been through too much!"
     -“I love Kakashi.” / “I love Kakashi! WHAA!”
     -“Minato’s gonna kill him!” / “Tou-san’s going to kill him!!”
     -“I wanted to be there!  I’ve dreamed about your wedding…”
     -“Tou-san wouldn’t have let me get married! / But Minato would never have let you get married!”
     -“This is all his fault!”
     -“He was sending me away for so long and I might die and I just wanted to be with Kashi…”

“Shh, shh, shh, Naruto.  The solution is… The problem," Kushina rephrased with a loud sniff before coming to terms with things.  "Obviously, we have to kill Minato.”

Naruto let out a loud whine.  “Can’t you both be - I don’t know - happy for me?  And for Kakashi?” Naru couldn’t look up at her mother or aunt after accidentally asking such a huge thing.  She didn’t see the way Kushina and Ame looked at each other so sadly as she wiped her tears off her face.  The silence that followed her question seemed to drag on and on.  “What’s Tou-san doing anyway?”  She could feel his chakra upstairs.  Surely that meant he could feel hers.

“He got really mad that I put the contraception seal on you.  He first blamed me for what you two bakas did because of it.”

“That’s dumb,” Naruto said, getting aggravated for her mother.  “All active-duty kunoichi wear that ‘til they don’t!”

“Mhm, mhm.  I got mad and maybe said some things to him,” Kushina continued, tilting her face up towards the room her husband was in.  “Ah.  He’s throwing up, I think.  It's probably good that you two took your sweet time to get here.”

If anything, Naruto felt like she and Kakashi had left far too early.   She got up when she felt Kakashi’s chakra getting closer.  

And she jumped forward when her father came tearing down the stairs, running (unlike the way he normally flashed around.)  He looked like he’d lost his mind!  Naruto charged into him and knocked him over.  “WAIT!  PLEASE… I’m not a baby, Tou-san!”  There was a knock on the door.  

“I don’t want to see that boy,” Minato said stubbornly.  At Kushina’s insistence, Ame stepped over the two blondes and opened the door.

“Kakashi-kun,” Ame greeted softly as she opened the door, revealing the father and daughter pair on the floor.  She wondered for the umpteenth time if she and Karin should get their own place so that they could avoid all of this drama.  Nah: it's usually too much fun and Kushina needs the help.

Kakashi sucked in a quiet breath and went to assist his wife in getting up.  She’d obviously been crying really hard.  He couldn’t help but glare at his sensei but quickly schooled his expression.  “Are you alright, Naru-chan?”

“Yeah,” Naruto said; she was more worried about the way her father was laying there, still and staring at the ceiling.  Jiraiya, naturally, chose that moment to make his illustrious presence known, having followed a very anxious-looking Hatake through the village.

Minato took a deep breath before sitting up and speaking.  “Hatake Kakashi, you are under arrest for kidnapping my little princess.  Naruto, you are also under arrest for being… terrible.  And having s-sex!”

Kushina raged.  “Oh SHUT UP, Minato!”