Misplaced Princess

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from the Naruto universe but I do have an imagination of my own.

Thinking

Emphasis

Bijuu, etc. speaking

Bijuu, etc. thinking

After Minato stopped chasing and pounding his sensei relentlessly in an especially violent one-sided version of a spar, Jiraiya brokenly dragged him back to watch his daughter's sage training. It wasn't going smoothly in any way, and the toads were now trying to train Naruto-chan NOT to take in nature's energy.

"I don't understand the problem," Jiraiya said and winced as his goddaughter and her clone were smacked silly by Lord Fukasaku. He had to hold Minato back: this training was necessary.

"She is too young for this!" Minato hissed.

"There's no choice, Mini-chan," Jiraiya countered. "I only brought her to meet our summons. I had no freaking idea that they'd remember working with her in the past -er, future! They said it was because they lived in this separate dimension or some crap like that. Anyway, since Naru-chan was a sage before... That's gotta be why taking in nature's energy is second nature to her. Her body's just not quite old enough to handle and manage the energy, though." Jiraiya sighed and scratched the back of his head. "Or maybe it's the foxes. One of them is being especially resistant to working with the toads." He sighed heavily. "The other one doesn't like them much, either."

Naruto laid back and wanted to scream as she dismissed her clone. She had been beaten up and bruised by that toad geezer, her coils were killing her, and she was now afraid her overprotective father was going to ruin things by not letting her go on to Uzushio or Ame. Traveling to those far-away lands had been her and Jiraiya's awesome plan before they realized that she just kept taking in nature's energy as easily as breathing - and she didn't know how to stop it. Not doing it felt like not breathing! Then there was the other thing...

Ever since she'd first had the toad oil rubbed on her wrists, weird thoughts that HAD to be memories of her past lives were resurfacing. Naruto rubbed her forehead as an image of Sakura crying and begging her to bring Sasuke back surfaced, and she felt sick. "Where - where would he have gone, 'ttebayo?"

"What is it, Naruto?" Minato asked, concern evident in his voice as he knelt down next to his daughter.

"It's nothing," she lied poorly before smiling sadly up at her father. "It's weird, ya know? Seeing you in your Hokage robe like that... It's like a dream come true or something. OUCH!"

Lord Fukasaku, better known as "Pa," had smacked her with that damned stick again. "Didn't you feel that, Naruto-chan? Honestly, you've never been this difficult before." He reconsidered that. "Hmm. Well, you're being difficult in a different way than I'm used to. Odd."

"You're odd," Naruto sassed back under her breath. Her father gave her a gentle bop on the head and Naruto remembered Sakura-chan doing that... repeatedly. And not softly!

"As soon as Pinky grows up, I'm going to be her sensei and fuck with that girl like crazy," Naruto said bitterly and meant every word of it. "OWWW!" She'd just been smacked again. "You're going down if you keep that up, old toad!"

"Well stop being stubborn! Feel the energy! DENY the energy!" Pa ordered. They both ignored Minato's scolding her about her language.

Naruto noticed something that looked like a seal light up under Minato's sleeve and looked up at him in alarm. Something was wrong.

"You two don't move. I've gotta flash." Minato did just that.

Naruto sighed and shook her head. "Dad's really gotta get a new catchphrase: that one's so predictable."

"So is he, Naruto-chan," Jiraiya said fondly. One of his eyebrows shot up in what she guessed was amusement when she was hit again. She was, pathetically, she felt, getting used to being brazenly beaten by a stick by a small toad. "Aside from when you first arrived and he lost his genius broad mind, Namikaze Minato is a patient, consistent, and conniving... but also an inspiring young man."

Naruto frowned. "Conniving? That doesn't sound nice, ya know."

Jiraiya chuckled. "Be glad you're part of the shinobi world's most powerful village, and that man's daughter, Naruto. You would NEVER want to be Minato-kun's enemy."

Naruto stopped for a beat then shivered at the idea.

Minato arrived in a flash of yellow well outside of the village's gates with Genma, Raido, and Iwashi. "Halt. State your name and intentions," he began menacingly - although he'd admit that he was taken aback by the woman's appearance that was in front of him. She was clearly an...

"Uzumaki Ame and this is my daughter, Karin-chan." The redhead collapsed to her knees and panted. "Please... please help us. My cousin," she cried and tried to get the right words out. She had been so weakened by her former captors and it had only gotten worse after her birthing her child. She hadn't even been able to nurse Karin-chan since the day before.

"Boys, meet me with Kushina at the hospital. Ensure that Tsunade-hime is present." The woman began crying harder and tried to speak through her tears as Minato's guard flashed away in formation. "It's alright, Uzumaki-san." Minato could feel that her chakra was severely depleted - but it was so much like Kushina's, even now. The bite marks that were all over the woman told the horrible story that he knew he'd soon need to hear. "The Village Hidden in the Leaves will always welcome and celebrate a survivor of our sister, Uzushiogakure. I am Namikaze Minato. Please hold on tightly."

That was the only warning Ame received before the man she had heard was Kushina-hime's partner or husband gently put one hand on her shoulder while the other nearly completely covered her daughter's wrapped, tiny form before the world spun around her. "Sorry," she heard the man say before everything faded to the darkness enveloping her. She desperately tried to hold on to both consciousness and her daughter but was simply too weak and exhausted.

Later, she woke up slowly and immediately realized that Karin-chan wasn't in her arms. Panicking, Ame desperately tried to sit up but was held down by someone trying to rather forcefully soothe her. She could feel the healing chakra of iryo-ninjutsu being moved over her body, heard a woman with a somewhat deep voice cursing and... "Oh gods! Kushi?" she slurred as the world seemed to tilt around her. "Am I dead?"

"Ha. I don't think so, brat. What the hell have you been doing, passing out your chakra like some kind of cow handing out milk?" Tsunade asked.

"Tsu... Tsunade-hime?" Ame asked weakly. She'd only heard of the Slug Sannin - everyone had - but the voice, angelic but aggravated face, huge... assets, and healing? Could it be?

"The one and only. Now explain exactly what happened."

Her vision finally cleared completely, Ame thought she had to be dreaming. Sitting in the corner, cooing at her bundled up daughter - she could sense that it was definitely her little Karin-chan - was her cousin, Kushina-hime. "But the Kyuubi..." Kushina was scolding Tsunade-hime for bothering her with questions, and she couldn't stop the hot tears from falling down her face.

"Hmm? What did you say, Ame?" Kushina asked distractedly. She tried to stand up, but seemed to be having a hard time and finally gave up while whispering a string of curses. Ame just couldn't believe it and felt more tears falling down her cheeks in what felt like rivers. Seeing another Uzumaki aside from her little Karin? And it was her cousin, of all people? She hadn't seen Kushina-hime since she was a little girl - back before she left Uzushio for Konoha.

"Ame-chan! I'm so, so glad to see you ali- here - and you'll be okay?" Kushina asked Tsunade as much as her. Tsunade nodded her head while patting Ame's arm gently, although the world's greatest medic was frowning as she looked at the bite marks that covered the redhead's skin.

"Oh, Kushi... I - I'd heard about the... fox, and I feared the worst!" Ame said, wondering how in the world Kushina could have made it through the extraction of her burden. "Please - oh gods," she began, panicking again. "I was just trying to get away from those men, and I know how brave you were, but Karin - Karin's... father," she spit the word caustically, "wasn't an Uzumaki! I don't know where you managed to reseal the beast, but please. Karin-chan... I just don't think she could handle it, and..."

"Ame-chan, breathe," Kushina said soothingly. She'd handed off baby Karin to Tsunade, who immediately began cooing at the babe while rocking her back and forth. Kushina was not moving properly, Ame confirmed as she watched her approach. "The fox is sealed - bastard that he is," she sighed. "I - well, I had a baby and..."

Minato had flashed to the hallway right outside the new Uzumaki's hospital room, ready to interrogate her, and found Orochimaru standing outside the door, listening. Although the snake summoner smoothly acted as if was just entering the room - and he often spent time at the hospital - Minato rolled his eyes and made a decision that he hoped wouldn't come back to bite him in the ass.

Fuck it: if Orochimaru even began to act as he had in Naruto-chan's past, he'd kill him without a second thought, no matter what his sensei and the previous Hokage thought.

He grabbed the Snake Sannin by the back of his Jonin vest and harshly pushed him into the room.

"Orochimaru," Kushina hissed. "Minato! Why did you let that bastard in here?!" Tsunade began chuckling.

"Now, now, Kushi-chan," Tsunade laughed, "'bastard' is too kind a word for my teammate!" She turned more toward Minato, still holding the babe in her arms, and offered her another bottle of formula. The tiny girl with the tuft of red hair latched on to the bottle with gusto, making Tsunade smile.

Minato noticed the way Orochimaru softened so much at seeing Tsunade's reaction to a baby and tried not to gawk. Orochimaru looked like a man that was in love! Kami-sama! How could a man that appeared nearly as much snake as a human feel anything anymore? He sighed exhaustedly, supposing that wasn't fair. He'd always thought of Orochimaru as the absolute worst, but now that honor went to Danzo. He had a meeting later this evening with his advisors about the traitor and decided then to bring Orochimaru in on it. ...Even though that made him a little sick.

"Maa, Orochimaru was standing outside the room like the creep he is, listening in on your conversation," Minato said cheerily. "I thought that if he really wanted to hear properly, he should come on in!" He slapped Orochimaru on the back jovially, although the hit sent the slim Jonin forward a pace.

"Bastard Hokage," Orochimaru hissed.

"Yes, I am. Or who knows?" Minato snarked easily with a broad wave of his hand, although each time he was called a bastard it riled him up. He wouldn't give Orochimaru the satisfaction of seeing him irritated by it, though. He'd been an orphan as long as he could remember and had no idea of who his father was, or if his mother had been married, etc. "Now who do we have here?" Minato asked eagerly, moving toward Tsunade-hime. He held his arms out and bit his lip: Kami, he loved babies...

"My daughter, Karin-chan, Hokage-sama," Ame answered quietly. So this is the Yellow Flash, Yondaime Hokage of Konohagakure... Wow: he was pretty! She looked toward Kushina and felt herself blush, probably as red as their hair: Kushina had caught her gazing at her partner and winked back at her. How embarrassing! Still, Namikaze Minato was so... beautiful that she guessed Kushina got that a lot. Of course, Kushina was so pretty it was intimidating.

"Don't get any ideas about my cousin, Minato-kun. You know I don't share," Kushina joked.

"What do you mean?" Minato asked obtusely. He didn't appreciate the way most of the others groaned at his response.

"Never mind," Kushina sighed. Minato was hopeless - and she loved that about him.

"So... you'll have to excuse us, Kushi, Tsunade-hime, Orochimaru," Minato said as he rocked and continued to feed the baby. "Uzumaki-san, our village was recently attacked," he explained in the least words possible. "Although I sincerely meant what I said about welcoming those from our sister village, I'm afraid I must speak with you about your entrance to Fire Country and your affiliations."

"I understand, Hokage-sama. And please, just call me Ame."

Tsunade took the babe from the Hokage after placing an old-fashioned cloth diaper over her shoulder. She burped the babe then grabbed her teammate with the hand that wasn't holding little Karin-chan. "C'mon, Orochi-kun. I know you want to hold the baby, you secret sap." Orochimaru pouted - which was quite the rare expression from the man - and allowed Tsunade to pull him toward the door.

It was better than her hoisting him over her other shoulder, he thought. Damn her frightening strength, he pushed himself to think.

After getting a kiss on the top of his head from his wife whom he forced back into a wheelchair, Minato was alone with Ame-san and gently began his interrogation.

Lamenting that he still couldn't get back to his daughter thanks to one interruption after another, Minato looked up as a certain toad he tried to avoid appeared in his office. The toad spat out his sensei.

"Behold! It is I, the Great Toad Sage of... Hey!" Jiraiya threw the kunai that Minato had thrown back at him. "You could've hit Gamariki!"

"Yeah, Minato-kun!" Gamariki said, batting his heavily lacquered eyelashes at the Hokage. "You don't want to hurt little ol' me, do you, darling?" He smoothed the large bow on his head in a coquettish manner.

Minato sat back and gave Jiraiya "the look." Jiraiya dismissed the toad while Minato crossed his arms and glared at his sensei. "Where's Naruto-chan?"

"Back at the Mountain, getting beaten up by Pa," Jiraiya said freely, pissing Minato off even more. "We're getting nowhere with her," he sighed. "I'm either taking her to blast off some bijuu bombs where they won't kill thousands or maybe you can, welllll..."

"What?" Minato asked and glared at his sensei even more. "And no. No killing thousands or anyone, Jiraiya-sensei."

"Well, that's my brilliant idea! Since my student is so adept at sealing," Jiraiya said, gesturing toward his Hokage/apprentice, "I thought you could help us! ...Have your daughter blast bijuu bombs at you and you can seal them away, sending them into the sea or another dimension or something. The toads won't allow her to do it from the Mountain..."

"You want me to dodge bijuu bombs? Honestly, sensei! I don't have time for this nonsense."

"Sure ya do! As the leader of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, you've got a perfect jinchuuriki with a problem!"

"You're talking about my DAUGHTER."

"Yes, I am," Jiraiya said much more seriously. "Whether you like it or not, she is an asset to this village, just like your wife was before her." Jiraiya didn't care that Minato was scowling at him. "Dammit, Minato: think about your daughter then. That girl is desperate to become a kunoichi and you're not helping her! It's not fair!" A knock on the door that led to the hallway visitors were supposed to come in interrupted him.

"Enter," Minato commanded.

"Orochimaru-sama and your advisors have arrived, Hokage-sama," Raido said and nodded back at the Toad Sage who had just waved at him.

"Ugh," Minato groaned and threw back his head before fully slumping into his chair. "I need to talk to Orochimaru first, Raido-kun. Can you or one of the guys get the others tea and explain that I'll be late?"

"Of course, Hokage-sama," Raido said respectfully. "Would you like to speak with Orochimaru-sama now or should I have him continue waiting?"

"No, have him come in now... Unfortunately," he added quietly as Raido went back into the hallway. "I'll take some tea, too!" he hollered as the door closed. He turned to his sensei again.

"Play along with me, sensei. You know Orochimaru better than I do, but don't let your feelings for him get in the way." Minato wasn't sure that his sensei could do that, knowing that the man was rather... almost too attached to his teammate. Jiraiya was usually extremely good as his wingman - as his Hokage and not anything else, of course - and had a fantastic ability to read people and keep things positive and light. This would be a difficult conversation, however.

"Hokage-ssssama," Orochimaru hissed. Jiraiya rolled his eyes and began berating his teammate for "being snakey."

"I'd like you to read this," Minato said almost defiantly. He handed Orochimaru Inoichi's (redacted) report on his daughter's mind walk.

It took several minutes before the Snake Sannin spoke. "She's your daughter from the future," Orochimaru said breathlessly as he continued to read. His chuckles as Raido brought in tea began to wane as he continued to read the report.

"You've been a very bad boy, Orochi-kun," Jiraiya said with a saucy wiggle of his eyebrows before glaring at his teammate who looked up looking abnormally pale, even for him. "Let me make this clear, Orochimaru: if you turn traitor on the Leaf, I will kill you."

Orochimaru gulped and knew that it showed before going back to read about his future atrocities. He wasn't the man that he was reading about... he just wasn't! He began slowly shaking his head, knowing that there was a large part of him that could understand what he would - or could - do in the future, but there was another part of him that didn't want that at all. Jiraiya and Tsunade were his family... And sensei? Hiruzen-sensei was his soft-hearted father figure, or had been ever since his parents had been killed! Maybe even before that...

I was killed by my student, Orochimaru eventually read. Just wonderful... He turned another page and blew out the breath he'd been holding.

"Whadja get to?" Jiraiya asked regarding the report his teammate was reading. Orochimaru told him and Jiraiya shook his head before letting it drop back on the chair he was slouched into. "Yeah, that makes two of us! Nagato killed my ass, too, at least once. I know he hasn't done it yet, but I want to give that boy a swift kick in the nads anyway." He sighed in a way that sounded like a whine before continuing. "You though? You, ya bastard, were a total dick in two or three timelines. Way to go..."

"Shut up, Jiraiya!"

"Orochimaru," Minato addressed the snake in the room, "let me ask you a question before meeting with the council, and I want you to think about this. What is it that you really want?"

Orochimaru looked up to his village leader and Minato could see heartbreak on the man's normally hostile face.

"Report your initial thoughts on that after the meeting." He stood up and stretched before putting his cloak back on and taking the report from the Sannin. He placed it in his top drawer before sealing it up. "Let's go." The two Sannin followed their Hokage out, Orochimaru appreciating the way Jiraiya grabbed him by the shoulder and shaking him in a way that showed he cared. He stopped for a moment to smile gratefully at his teammate.

They gazed at each other and there was a sudden electricity and heat that buzzed between them. Orochimaru blushed and looked away before hurriedly continuing to the council room.

Minato reverse-summoned himself to the Mountain again around midnight. The council meeting had been long and tedious, but they'd accomplished or planned a lot, which Minato believed was due to the lack of the civilian side of the council being present. The civilians are always such a pain... He really needed to do something to lessen their ability to thwart his plans and ideas.

Walking toward Ma and Pa's house, he waved toward Gamahiro who was on guard duty. Minato often wondered why the toads had guards posted 24/7, considering the only ones who could get to the mountain were the toads themselves and their summoners. He quietly knocked on the sages' home, knowing that it was terribly late and this was an impolite thing to do. Pa answered the door and looked annoyed.

"Minato-chan," he greeted his summoner.

"Ah, Lord Fukasaku," Minato said amiably as he scratched the back of his head. "I'm sorry for coming so late: I'm sure that I've interrupted your sleep."

"You did, and she's not here," Pa said plainly. "Jiraiya-chan showed up a couple of hours ago and took Naru-chan to Ame. ...Said something about seeing his former students and bijuu bombs."

"Oh for fuck's sake!" Minato sighed before apologizing for his outburst. "He KNOWS that in my position, I can't just show up in Ame! Hanzo will declare war!"

"Indeed," Pa said with a little smile.

"Goddammit. Oh, sorry again, Pa," Minato added mildly.

"Go home to your wife, Minato-chan; they'll be fine. I'm sure that Jiraiya's got it all under control." He closed the door in the Hokage's face.

Minato hoped that he was right, knowing that for now, he couldn't do anything else other than sending a messenger toad to bitch at and threaten his sensei. He concentrated on the marker that he had back at home and flashed to it, glad to see Kushina asleep and well, and sensed that Kakashi-kun was sleeping soundly in the room down the hall. Tsunade-hime was downstairs in the kitchen, probably drinking, although she shouldn't be. He threw his cloak over a hanger and hung it on a bolt his wife had put on the wall before going downstairs to relieve the Slug Sannin of guard duty.

Hanzo and his salamander both had the same thoughts as they ran from the Kyuubi who had shown up in his country after he tried to attack the Toad Sage. At first, Hanzo had been fighting the well-known Gamabunta and Jiraiya in the dark of night, then those damn Akatsuki kids had shown up just before he noticed a furious-looking blonde child...

Those were his last insights as they were disintegrated by the beast's blast.

"Ugh. Is it over?" Naruto asked as she slid to the ground, the Kyuubi's cloak receding from her completely. "I've gotta say, that felt good!" She leaned back and stretched before looking over at Yahiko. She bolted upright with stars in her eyes. "Oh my gosh! Your hair's so pretty! You're so pretty!"

Jiraiya grabbed his goofy goddaughter and apologized to his students for dropping in. After staring at him with their mouths open in shock for a few seconds, Konan was the first to run to her old sensei as they all gathered around him, hugging him tightly.