Misplaced Princess

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from the Naruto universe but I do have an imagination of my own.

Thinking (or Naruto speaking to Kurama in her mindscape; flashbacks, etc.)

Emphasis

Biju, etc. speaking

Biju, etc. thinking

"C'mon, Kushi-chan! You know what Mini's got in store for her!" Jiraiya whined as he followed Kushina around her kitchen. She wasn't even paying attention to him, he realized. How rude. "D-ranked babysitting. Babysitting! And how is Naru supposed to feel about babysitting her classmates who are now wearing diapers? It makes no sense!"

Kushina turned around and glared at the man, her hair fanning out all around her as she did. It hid the apple that she threw at him, and her nose scrunched up in aggravation at seeing the Toad Sage catch it. She'd been aiming for his giant head.

Stirring the miso that she had on the stove, she let out a tired sigh and muttered nearly under her breath, "I'm more concerned about what she'll do or not do with those infants." She gave Jiraiya a half-hearted smile. "Naru-chan hasn't had ANY experience with babies. When Minato told her about babysitting, I'd never seen her so speechless and pale. Tsk! That's why he made babysitting a pretend mission. Otherwise, she's not even a Genin yet."

"Kushina," he said seriously as he came back, towering over her, "from what I've heard, he has no intention of allowing her shinobi status for a very long time - if ever!" The redhead began pounding on the pot on the stove with a spoon hard enough to dent the top before howling that she'd done so. "She's the jinchuuriki: one who can actually fully handle or control the beast. Don't say it! Just don't," Jiraiya placated, his palms up and facing her as he backed away a step. "I know you don't like it, but you understand that she wants to become a kunoichi! How can she do that if she can't get rid of some of that demonic chakra?"

Kushina deflated. "Why are you even talking to me about it? This babysitting was all Minato's idea."

"Weeeeeell, I know that she's off house arrest. Mini-chan did say that you're in charge of how long the gaki's grounded..."

Tsunade entered the room, stepping up to push Jiraiya away from the stove. She tasted the soup then added more white pepper to it. "Just let the Pervert have her, Kushi."

"He's a pervert!" Kushina exclaimed before looking through the cutout area of the wall to ensure that Naruto-chan and Kakashi-kun were still upstairs.

"He's her godfather: a choice that the two of you made," Tsunade scolded. "I don't know what the hell you were thinking…"

"HEY!" Jiraiya yelled.

"Wait a minute," Tsunade said before whacking Jiraiya and forcing him into the living room to give the two women privacy. She looked completely disgusted when she re-entered the kitchen, but Kushina didn't want to know what the perv had done or said to her clansman this time.

"Look," Tsunade said in a hushed tone, "The Pervert feels supremely guilty that he wasn't in Naru-chan's life after… you know." She couldn't bring herself to say, "after you both died" since the First Couple of Konoha was alive - yet they wouldn't have been had it not been for the Sage of fucking Six Paths. "My guess is he was out looking for whoever attacked that night and simply couldn't take a baby or little girl out on the road. You know he gets into danger!" Tsunade chewed on a piece of celery before squinting at her distant cousin. "You knew his lifestyle before you made him her godfather."

Kushina wilted, knowing that Naruto's childhood had been terribly lonely without them.  Without ANY of them!

"What I'm saying is let him do his job now," Tsunade continued. "One," she began, holding up a perfectly manicured finger, "it will help Naruto. He'll find a place to take her where she can expend all of that excess chakra. If things are successful, she won't even need pain medicine - or probably anything other than nutrition supplements." Seeing that Kushina was biting her lips, she continued.

(Not that anyone could stop Tsunade from saying what she wanted to say.)

"Two," she held up an additional finger, "she'll come back ready to take her Genin test." She scoffed at her cousin's pout. "Please. Tell me you didn't want your child to follow in your footsteps - as a shinobi." Kushina's pout only grew more outrageous but looked away, giving Tsunade the opportunity to lift another finger. "Three, Minato's being unreasonable. And that girl: your daughter, is clumsy and lacks finesse."

"Hey! She didn't have anyone to teach her…" Kushina began to defend Naruto.

"...plus she's your daughter, so she'll be way behind in that department anyway." Tsunade dodged a brutally thrown apple; it hit the wall behind her. The wall across from the kitchen already had a lot of dents in it though.  Whatever. 

"FOUR," she grabbed Kushina's hand before giving it a little slap to regain her full attention, "The Pervert's not going to let this go! C'mon, Kushi! Just get him out of my hair for a week or two!"

"You - you're only thinking about yourself," Kushina chastised the older woman while holding her spoon in a dangerous position, right above Tsunade's bosom. She was ready to whack her where it hurt!

"No. No, I'm not!  Not completely.   Now listen to your elders. Seldomly do The Pervert and I agree on anything. Hell, I think even Orochimaru would agree with us on this one." Kushina gagged dramatically upon hearing that name. "Oh, shut it. And considering my genius of a teammate and what happened..."   The Slug Sannin shook the thought of her teammate turning traitorous off with a quick shake of her head, sending her ponytails flying.  "I also think it would do everyone some good to settle all that Danzo shit when Naru-chan isn't around."

Kushina looked up at her and from the woman's expression, Tsunade knew that she'd won.

"She hasn't been here very long at all, plus there's no way that Minato will allow her to go on a little trip like that! And what if something happens?!"

"Since when did Uzumaki Kushina ever lie down and take bogus orders from a man?! And don't give me crap about him being the freaking Hokage: he's your husband first." Tsunade raised her head high and looked down on the redhead. "Jiraiya will make sure that she's well taken care of. He can always summon me if she's in need of a medic, or just have a toad swallow her if Naru-chan's in danger." Kushina made a disgusted face and Tsunade nodded her head in agreement: traveling in a toad's mouth sounded indescribably awful, even if it was convenient. "You're in charge of discipline: Mini-chan said so himself. Just don't say anything to him about it when they leave."

Naruto sat in her room and read the sealing book that her mother had given her. Everyone else was in bed, and her mom said that she really could tell that they were all asleep: her sensing ability hadn't just been in her head! Their chakra was calm and peaceful - even her mother's, which was normally all kinds of messed up. The sealing book was interesting alright, but the blonde had bigger things on her mind.

Babysitting? What kinds of fresh and hellish horrors was her father trying to impose on her? Hadn't she suffered enough?! Worse, she still wasn't a Genin and her father said he wouldn't test her until her "chakra issues" were resolved. At the rate things were going, she'd never get a chance to be an actual kunoichi. Naru turned around and punched her pillow repeatedly and tilted her head just as an enormous frog - no, toad - poofed into her bedroom.

Pervert Jiraiya was sitting inside its mouth! Naruto almost screamed but saw the old man holding his index fingers to his lips, plus she'd been so shocked at him being in there, her throat had closed. "Hime already packed your stuff," he whispered, holding her orange backpack up - from inside the toad's mouth! "Just come in and we'll be on our way!"

He had a big, goofy grin on his face.

If this had happened before, back in her past(-er the future,) Naru knew that she would've jumped at a chance to get away from babysitting and the villagers - well, maybe she wouldn't have just jumped into an animal's mouth - but here and now, she paused. "What about Kaa-chan and Tou-san?" Jiraiya hushed her before whispering that this was a secret mission and was totally allowed - that she'd done well after everything that happened and her parents were proud of her and thought she deserved a training trip!

She couldn't believe that she was stepping into a toad's mouth, but she had to admit that it was a little bit exciting.

"Alright gaki," he whispered as they sat together in the back of a toad's throat, "I'm sorry to ask this, but I need you to make a shadow clone."

"Why?" Naruto asked, glaring at her godfather. She was deeply suspicious now; she realized that she probably should have been before she got into the slimy thing.

"Just do it you brat," he whispered and sent spit flying. "Tsunade sent your medicine, and you WILL be taking it!"

Naruto whispered out a bunch of jumbled curses, but made a shadow clone and nearly flopped over Jiraiya's arm, breathing hard. She was in enough pain that she didn't realize that Jiraiya ordered the clone to get under the covers, and didn't yet know that her clones were weird and full of mischief, and always glad to get themselves - and thus her - into varying degrees of trouble.

The toad-travelers were spat out of Jiraiya's summons; the Sage easily catching his goddaughter. "First things first. You're going to take the pain medicine Tsunade-hime prescribed, and you'll listen to your shishou from here on out. What I say goes, gaki."

Naruto had recovered enough from using her chakra to bumble along beside him and knew that - as her master - she had to listen to him. Even her mother and father had agreed to him being her teacher. His words were firm but there had been no malice in them, plus she believed that Kurama would tell her if someone was out to get her. "Okay. This place is really beautiful," she said, looking around.

"That it is, gaki; that is it. We are on the toads' mountain, Mount Myoboku. I've got some things to... discuss with Fukasaku-sama. I'll introduce you to his wife, Lady Shima." He turned sharply to his goddaughter, making her run straight into him. He held on to the top of her little blonde head, bending down a bit so she could see how serious he was about what he said next. "Now, Naru-chan, Lady Shima and Lord Fukasaku are the great toad sages. They taught me everything I know about summoning, and one day I know that they'll teach you, too. And I'll be there to supervise, of course!"

Naruto rolled her eyes as she walked behind him.  She'd be polite and all to the sages, but why would her godfather need to supervise if they taught him everything that he knows? The sages would be there, too, so...

"Jiraiya-chan," both sages came hopping over to him, and Naruto was surprised they were so small. They didn't seem super great, but she would look underneath the underneath and all that crap to see what she could discover about them. They were both looking at her with great interest and dare she say fondness, and Naru found herself looking at her hands, unsure of what to do. Finally, she bowed and introduced herself even though she thought that Jiraiya might have already told them about her.

"So this is Mina-chan's tadpole that disrupted the timeline, ne? It's a pleasure to meet you, Naruto-chan!"

"The pleasure is all mine," she said shyly.

"What do you want, Jiraiya-chan?" the white-haired toad said in a darker voice.

"Come with me, Naru-chan," Lady Shima said, hopping ahead and gesturing to a cute little home in front of her. "I understand you need to take your medicine." She laughed at the little blonde's sad face. After ensuring that Naruto took her pain medicine and something else that Tsunade had prescribed, the blonde was... subjected to a huge dinner that mainly consisted of bugs.

Thankfully Naruto had eaten before she left her house.

"Let me get this straight," Lord Fukasaku said while stroking his beard as he examined the white-haired pervert. "You want me to lie to another one of our summoners, your HOKAGE - the leader of the village our birthplace is allied with - and tell Minato-chan that we haven't seen his daughter.  - If he's being as demanding as you say, Jiraiya-chan, this is not a good plan."

"It's fiiiine. And that's the gist of it! Oh, and I want to make Naruto-chan a summoner."

Meanwhile, back in Konoha, Minato and Kakashi had noticed a different side of Naruto: exuberant and silly, she seemed to have forgotten how upset she'd been about the babysitting - and also had forgotten about how awkward things had been with Kakashi lately.

Kakashi lifted his headband to study the blonde with his Sharingan while Minato-sensei was working on a seal. It looked like Naruto, alright, her gigantic chakra reserves nearly blinding him, but seeing her wink at him made heat rise all the way up to his ears!

What was her deal?! Was she teasing him? She'd been so nervous around him before!

"Kakashi-sama!" Naruto bowed after sticking her foot in his bedroom door so that he couldn't escape her to hide in his room. "Please forgive meforkissingyouonyourlipseventhough," she inhaled a deep loud breath, before continuing, "youhadamaskon somaybe it doesn't countasmuch BUT STILL! You didn't consent tome beinga -uh - a giantpervert so untilyoudo - or someone does, you know what I mean..."

The words at the very end of her spiel sounded a little dark and angry.

He reached out to grab Naru's hands away from her hair - it was so pretty and there was no need for her to pull on it like she was - but pulled them away from her at the last moment, deciding to place them in his pockets again. She stood up and stared at him with pretty pink whiskered cheeks and those big blue eyes, and just as Kakashi was going to tell her it was okay, she started blabbering again.

"I was gonna... awardsomekindof kiss tomyhero," she laughed bitterly, "like some kind of storybook princess, 'ttebayo. I never meant to hurt you."

Then she ran to her room, leaving me in shambles.

One: she called me her hero!
Two: she sounded upset about the kiss, which for some reason left him a little sore.
Three: she'd barely spoken to him since her apology the other night, and every time he saw her she'd duck out of the room, leaving him frustrated.

And now she's flirting with me? In front of her father?! Is she trying to get me killed?! Kakashi tried to decide whether or not he had enough weapons on him, knowing that Minato-sensei was practically covered with them. His rapidly spiraling thoughts were interrupted when his sensei packed his sealing supplies away and gave him a nod.

"It's time for me to get back to the office," Minato said before taking a last sip of his tea. "Don't forget, Naru-chan: Nara-san will be over with his son in about an hour."

"Oh shit! I can't do that!"

"Language, Naruto," Minato scolded without any heat. "And why can't you babysit? We've discussed this at length, young lady."

The girl's face lit up in amusement. "Because! I could dispel! Cause I'm a clone, 'ttebayo!" The clone dispelled herself with a shrieking grin, looking incredibly pleased with itself.