Misplaced Princess

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from the Naruto universe but I do have an imagination of my own. 

Thinking

Emphasis

Biju, etc. speaking

Biju, etc. thinking

Naruto walked with Tsunade-hime and Kakashi-kun through the village. Kakashi was pushing her mother in a wheelchair which the redhead wouldn't stop complaining about, and Naruto was behind him, holding up her mother's ridiculously long hair. She really didn't understand why her mother wouldn't cut it since it would drag on the ground while she was sitting, but Naruto understood her stubbornness. Hell, Naruto always thought that she was the most stubborn person that she knew... then she met her mother and dear Lord, the infamous Tsunade-hime.

It was still so hard to fathom that she really has a family now. Even Tsunade-hime is family: a distant relation, though it may be. She's got her real-life father, mother, totally perverted but secretly sweet godfather, and a village that doesn't hate her, too. Really, she should've gotten on her knees and thanked those villagers that slit her throat and worse on her birthday.

Just a short time ago - and for years - she had feared that she'd never know whether or not her parents had abandoned her "because you're a monster: everybody knows that."

What a bitch that little Ami was to say something like that! The girl definitely deserved a Rasengan or something straight up her…  BUT it would probably be better to just tickle her harshly with kunai. The Rasengan does some damage I'm not ready to inflict yet. That had been proven the last time she'd used it: she'd destroyed the wall of an extremely old stone building with one.

Yeah, Ami-chan sucked, but Naruto didn't need to go that far.

Tsunade-hime had promised to introduce the "younger princess" to her niece later today, who was temporarily working at the hospital. Naruto wanted to meet the girl that she was told was her cousin through marriage ("or close to it," Tsunade had drunkenly said.) Naru was still refusing to go to the facility, however, remembering how she was not welcomed there, putting it mildly, in her past... which was in the future.

Gah!  It's troublesome to even think about! She stopped and internally whacked herself for sounding like that lazy Shikamaru.

Kakashi had been basically whining - and he was a Jonin - about their shopping trip all morning. Naruto didn't pay him any mind, though, because she had to get out of the pink plaid blazer looking-thing with the giant shoulder pads that she was wearing but NOT with its matching skirt. She had on a really old pair of Kushina's yellow culottes from when she was a Genin. The color was hideously bland, but it would beat the pink monstrosity she was also wearing any day.

Sadly, ugly yellow was one of the colors in the plaid scratchy top, so Tsunade-hime finally let her out of the house, saying she looked "decent enough, barely."

What's wrong with that woman?!

Naruto actually liked Tsunade-hime a lot, and Kushina -er, her mother, seemed to really love her. The Pervert was so obviously IN love with her that it was just sad, and everyone else respected her at the very least. Tsunade-hime was a force to be reckoned with, whether it was on the battlefield or in the middle of a supposedly polite lunch. She was also stylish - although she needed a top that covered a bit more, Naruto thought - so why was she torturing her with pink frilly clothes? "Why can't I dress like you?" Naruto didn't even mean to ask that, but the words just came tumbling out.

"Oh? I thought you didn't like my taste, brat?"

"Well, the stuff you've gotten me sucks - oh, and thanks for it, again. I guess."

"What a horrible brat you have, 'Shina-chan," Tsunade said with a sly smile.

"She just doesn't... fully appreciate your generosity and ideas for what a girl her age should wear," Kushina said diplomatically. Everyone walking with her was surprised.

Who knew Mom could soothe the beast like that? 

Naru had become accustomed to her mother being goofy, loud, and extremely expressive. She seemed to always talk before her brain engaged, a trait Naruto realized that she had inherited. She really loved her mom. It's not that they were doing anything special today for normal people, but just having her there and with her out in public like this felt over-the-top and unbelievably fantastic. If she was actually able to enter a normal shop, Naruto thought she might cry from the sheer joy of doing something anyone else could.

Anyone but her.

"I'm not just a young girl, ya know. I'm a shinobi and I need clothes that will work out in the field! I had this jumpsuit," Naruto began.

"Brat, I saw that thing, and whoever gave you the idea it was okay to wear needs to die!" Tsunade meant it, too. Even without the girl's blood on it, which was something she didn't like to think about, that orange jumpsuit was just disgusting.

"Ha! You just committed treason against the Hokage! JiJi gave me that jumpsuit! Man, I need to find something orange..." Tsunade and Kushina looked at each other with trepidation and alarm at her words.

"Sensei - your 'Jiji,' that is - isn't Hokage anymore, and watch your mouth! And I'll be damned if you're in all orange..."

"I have to agree with her, Naruto. We might find something that has an orange accent, but I bet with your coloring, you'll look best in blue. Just like your father," Kushina said. "I prefer all kinds of colors," she added, waving her arms widely into a pretend rainbow. "Having lots of colors on hand really sets you free, dattebane! Oooo, let's check out this store."

They all ignored Kakashi's groaning.

Naruto tried on things she had never even heard of, glad that she hadn't shed a tear - yet. Battle Kimonos and dresses - which really weren't as bad as she thought they'd be - mesh armor of various widths, all the way to weird chained mail: it was overwhelming. Finally, she gave up and let her "audience" decide what she should buy as she tried on one thing after another. She'd always wished she could shop in stores like normal people in her life before this, but now that she could? Good God: it was horrible! "Thank Kami we're finished," she sulked as the four moved out of the store.

Kushina's wheelchair was weighed down with bags, and for once she was glad that she had it.

"You're not finished, young lady! You still need unmentionables," Kushina told her daughter. Kakashi made a girly keening sound and tried to take off, but Tsunade grabbed him before he could escape.

Naruto looked at her mother in disbelief. "If they don't need to be mentioned, why the hell do I need them?" Everyone looked at her in incredulity before the two women began laughing. Seeing Kakashi's ear turning red after the top of his masked cheeks did the same, Naruto felt a little humiliated. "What is it?" She swallowed the lump that was growing in her throat.

"I'm so sorry, dear one," Kushina soothed while grabbing her daughter's fisted hand. "By 'unmentionables,' I mean lingerie, you see." Naruto had a completely blank look on her face, although she did look up at Kakashi, who seemed to have blown some kind of brain gasket. She swore she saw steam coming out of his ears. "UNDERWEAR and BRAS, Naruto!"

"Oh. Why didn't ya just say so? I don't need that stuff." Kakashi began heaving, holding his knees. "I think he's sick. He needs to go home. Anyway, I'll be fine with some boxers and bandages," she said firmly.

"Kakashi-kun's a drama queen: he'll be fine," Kushina replied. "And whether you ever become a kunoichi or not, you are NOT wearing boxers! We'll get you measured for a bra, and you can pick out matching panties if you want! It'll be fun!"

Naruto wasn't sure what her mother meant by "whether you become a kunoichi or not," but it bothered her. She sure as hell would be a kunoichi! If shadow clones really could be used as a replacement for a normal clone jutsu when tested, she should've been one years ago. 

"Yes. This is a family activity," Tsunade agreed with Kushina, much to the two teens' horror. "I remember going with my mother and grandmother to get my first fitting. Grandfather had a party for me and we put candles representing my bra size on the cake."

"Oh dear god..."

Naruto tried to bolt, but as Kakashi had experienced earlier, she was caught by Tsunade who hauled her up on her shoulder.

"Put me down!"

When Tsunade finally did, Naruto found herself in a shop of horrors. Apparently, this was where the world's supply of awful lace and shiny stuff was kept. "What the hell is all this?!"

"Language, Naruto!" Tsunade and Kushina scolded as one.

Tsunade coughed loudly, alarming the younger blonde. A sales associate came out bowing and apologizing all over herself in response. "My daughter needs to be fitted for her first bra! We'll also need bandages and panties," she exclaimed loudly. Naruto made her way to Kakashi, who was curled up in the corner, but he took off crouching, crab or alternatively duck-walking away in intervals as fast as he could.

She just wanted that corner to die in, anyway, so that was fine.

She hadn't yet realized that Tsunade had called her her daughter.

Kakashi had never been so glad that a girl had been hauled away from him, and he had been grateful that had happened many times in his life. Naruto was now in the dressing room with three other women, and thanks to that damn Jiraiya-sama, he was imagining what might be going on in there. Even knowing two of the women well enough to know that they certainly weren't naked, that's somehow the way his fantasi- er, thoughts were evolving. It was only after Naruto began loudly yelling about her seniors being pedophiles and "copping a feel" that he realized his thumb was stroking something soft and silky. He nearly jumped out of his skin at realizing he had been finger cuddling a skimpy little patterned satin bra. "OIkS!"

"Oh, your friend will need a larger size than that, shinobi-san." Kakashi had no idea what this elderly lady was talking about. "I would also suggest that she have more support. We do have that pink heart print in this style." The now known enemy raised a distraction device - and boy, was it distracting - so Kakashi pulled out his kunai... Which was promptly taken off him by Kushina.

"I still got it," Kushina whooped, thrilled that she disarmed her ward. She turned a furious gaze back to him immediately afterward. "And what the hell were you doing, Kakashi-kun?" He was spared Kushina's wrath by another hellish vision.  Well, a sort of hellish vision. How something so appealing could be so scary, he didn't know. Then she began moving.

Naruto now had on her new blue battle dress with a bright orange obi but somehow looked different.

"Hey, this is pretty good!" She grabbed her breasts and shook them up and down as she bounced and smiled up at Tsunade. "It's like I don't notice 'em and it doesn't hurt like just wearing the bandages did. This will be a lot better!"

"Kashi-kun, get off the damn floor. She's just wearing a sports bra for gods' sake! And it's under her clothes, 'ttebane!" She kicked the boy, then decided that she was going to have to have a long talk with him, because judging from the blood on his mask, he was becoming a pervert. She snorted. All teenage boys are perverts; Kakashi's just a late-bloomer!

"No more juggling your jugs, in public, baka," Tsunade barked at the young teen.

"Whaa: you said this was a bonding experience among women! What about all that stuff you said you did in the dressing room before the saleslady came in?" Tsunade whacked her on the head as Naruto moved to pay the woman, but Tsunade put several more sets of "unmentionables," a totally stupid name for underwear Naruto thought, on the counter. "I - I can't afford all that, 'ttebayo! I'm sorry, clerk-san!"

"It's on me." Tsunade patted Naruto's head - the same head she'd just smacked. "This is just the beginning of our Fitting Day Celebration: consider this a gift!" The slug princess didn't expect to be attacked by a weeping girl, who now had her arms around her and just kept whispering her thanks.

Once leaving the store, Naruto got herself under control and was able to finally speak again. "I've never had a celebration before, or even been to one," she admitted in just over a whisper. Kushina began trembling before crying for her daughter's life up to now with fat ugly tears. Tsunade soon couldn't hold her feelings back and she let out a wail and punched a nearby stone gate, shattering it - which triggered Naruto all over again.

Kakashi silently prayed that for the sake of the village that these were the last people who had Uzumaki blood as he pushed the sobbing group of females toward Ichirakus.

Finally reaching the forest that she'd been told about, a young woman sneezed into her elbow, then looked down to the daughter she held in the other arm. "Don't worry, we've almost made it, Karin-chan. They say the Leaf never turns away an Uzumaki, ya know." She issued up a silent prayer once again. She'd heard about the fox attack and prayed especially hard that her cousin somehow managed to survive.

Just as the group, once again happy, full, and spirited, was about to leave Ichirakus, Kakashi crouched down in his seat and begged them all to be quiet. Kushina ruffled his hair and chuckled, while Tsunade just outright ignored him and finished her tea. Naruto, however, was intrigued and jumped off her seat to go see what was scaring him.

It's hard to believe he's a Jonin.

She looked through the crowd on the street outside the ramen bar and nearly choked on her spit.

There in front of her, walking away... It couldn't be! But she was here, wasn't she? "Lee?"

Did he get here somehow, too?!

Naruto had been moved around a lot, from class to class back at the Academy. Iruka-sensei was the only teacher that could even stand her, and Mizuki-sensei openly despised her until right before her last couple of weeks of school, whereas the rest of the teachers' attitudes were somewhere between Iruka and Mizuki at their worst. For several months, she had not been the deadlast in one of her classes. That honor went to a really motivated and nice boy named Rock Lee.

Lee was made fun of just as much as Naruto had been by their classmates. While people openly laughed at her dream to become Hokage, kids openly spit on Lee's dreams to be a splendid shinobi because he had some kind of medical issue that didn't allow him to do ninjutsu or genjutsu. After watching him train with his new master from atop a tree branch one evening after school during her (hopefully) last year at the Academy, Naruto believed that Lee was going to reach his goal for sure.

His sensei was weird as hell, and Naruto never understood why Lee had changed his clothes so much unless it was to copy his very green sensei who was always yelling about youth. At least their leg warmers were orange.

If Lee could be a splendid shinobi, that meant she could reach her goals, too! She took off running.

"Lee! Lee-kun! Wait up!" Kakashi flashed in front of her, making her trip into his arms.

"What are you doing?!"

"Let me - ugh! Get out of my way! I need to see if that's Lee or not," Naruto told him, trying to see over Kakashi's stupidly tall shoulders.

"No. Not without a guard: sensei's orders! And not - especially not right now, Naru-chan!"

"RIVAL!"

"Oh, gods. Look what you've done Naruto: you've hastened the apocalypse."

"You really are a drama queen, Kakashi-kun," Naruto deadpanned. Her face brightened then dimmed when Lee - no, it wasn't him, after all - worked his way through the crowded street and slapped his palm against Kakashi's shoulder. He stopped and looked at her, then fell to his knees, clutching his hands together dramatically.

"Be-a-uuu-tiful lady, go on a date with me!"

"Umm, who are you 'ttebayo? You look like somebody I used to know," Naruto said sadly.

Kakashi watched the two with fascination but wariness. This was the first time his supposed rival hadn't focused all his excessive energy and attention on him. "Someone you liked?" Gai asked, now even more hopeful.

"Oh, yes he was, in fact. I admired him"

"Then allow me to take you to dinner tonight," Gai pleaded. Kakashi began to shake the green boy's shoulder to get his attention, which was completely out of character for him and he knew it.

"Are you paying?" Naruto asked.

"Of course! A lovely lady such as yourself should never have to pay for a meal!"

Naruto's eyes sparkled.

Considering who her parents were, Kakashi feared that this date might really happen. Mentioning free food to an Uzumaki or Namikaze? They'd probably agree to a meal with the Tsuchikage.

"It would be my honor to accompany you to dinner tonight at any place of your choosing. Oh, I haven't introduced myself yet properly! Forgive me, my dear lady," he paused and looked over his shoulder at his rival who was bothering him. "Go away, Kah-kash-shiiii! My name is Maito Gai. I am Konoha's Great Beast of Prey!" He posed, flexing his muscles.

"This isn't happening," Kakashi whined as he watched the nightmare play out.

"Nice to meet ya! So where will we be meeting and at what time?"

"Seven o'clock on the Yondaime's new head?" Gai asked, wiggling his giant eyebrows and pointing toward the Hokage Monument.

"Absolutely not. I'm her guard and that's too romantic a spot. No, this isn't happening at all," Kakashi scolded the two of them.

"Don't worry about Kakashi-kun: he's a big baby and I think he might even be wearing a diaper today." Both of Kakashi's arms flew up in the air before going straight back down to hit his thighs as he gaped at Naruto's words behind his mask. Gai decided that the blue-eyed blonde vision in front of him was his favorite person in the world.

"What is your name, dear beauty?" Gai asked. Naruto blushed up to her roots. The guy was weird and not much to look at, but he was smooth, she decided

"Her name is Naru. JUST Naru," Kakashi huffed and answered for her. "And I say that this is not happening!"

Naruto never liked being told what to do, and she was not only stubborn in what she wanted but motivated by free food and by a masked someone who was being a little bitch! "You have no say over what I do or don't do!" Her hair started to rise around her dangerously, splitting into nine sections as she glared and stepped forward to get in Kakashi's face.

"Like hell, I don't, young lady," Kakashi said, acting all superior and being an even bigger pain in her ass, Naruto thought.

"I'm going whether you like it or not!" She reached to wrap her arm around Gai's, but Kakashi substituted himself with Gai. "You asshole!"

"What's going on here? And what did I say about your language, honey?!" Kushina admonished as Tsunade finally pushed her wheelchair that she swore she didn't need, other than to hold all of Naruto's bags, up to the commotion the three teens were causing.

"You know the lovely Kushina-sama?!" Gai asked Naruto, his eyes big and hopeful. "It is lovely to see you today, Kohona's Most Beautiful Red Death," Gai bowed while using rather slow and lavish hand gestures. "And you as well, Tsunade-hime of the Furious Fists and Sagacious Slugs."

Kushina snorted before greeting Gai kindly, while Tsunade scoffed at the idiot who dared call her that. She thought of showing him just what one of her "furious fists" could do to him, but she was too full of ramen to bother with it. Weird kid's got some nerve, I'll give him that!

Naruto pouted and crossed her arms over her much more secured chest.  "Kakashi-kun's being an ass and says he won't let me go out with Gai-san. It is Gai-san right?" Gai nodded at her before giving a rather evil-looking smirk toward Kakashi, which didn't look like it suited his face at all. "He wants to take me out to dinner tonight!"

"I don't see a problem with that!" Kushina agreed. "Just take Kakashi-kun with you. Now, Naru-chan," she began to persuade her increasingly aggravated daughter, "Kakashi-kun is your guard and he WILL accompany you tonight."

"This is a nightmare," Kakashi whimpered. Gai slapped him hard between his shoulder blades; it hurt all the way through his flack vest but at least Gai's "youthful pat" didn't move him forward this time. That would've been embarrassing. He'd applied chakra to his feet so he wouldn't get knocked forward again as soon as he had to stand next to the insane boy.

"You didn't ask her mother for permission, brat. And she's saying no," Tsunade said firmly as she pointed her thumb toward her enormous bosoms.

"Wha..?"

Naruto began to ask why Tsunade seemed to be claiming to be her mother - then she remembered that the young-looking older lady said the same thing in that scary underwear store. Naru didn't fail to see Kushina's eyes widen a fraction as she jerked to stare up at Tsunade, then look back at her repeatedly a couple of times.

She also saw that her mother seemed to wilt and look so guilty.

She doesn't want to claim me as her own. It didn't matter that Tsunade-hime did seem to be claiming her, it was just... She felt a lump growing in her throat and didn't hear the arguments that were getting more heated around her. Facing the fact that her biological mother didn't want to claim her - no, she doesn't want me, not as I am at least - painted her whole world as it became darker and darker. 

This - this was planned. Naruto wasn't stupid! She might not be book smart, but she'd always been observant: she'd always had to be. This means... Dad doesn't want me, either. They all planned this together!

She was suffocating!   Naruto had finally gotten her family and believed they loved her and... She took off in a run, then performed a sunshin when Kakashi nearly grabbed her. She felt pain racking her body as she did whenever she used chakra, but did it two more times until she had nearly passed out from pain on the ground.

Kakashi had already summoned his pack and ordered them to track Naruto, although he didn't think he had anything on him that had her scent on it as Kushina panicked. "You're saying she used chakra, Kashi? She can't do that! Oh, why did I agree to this with Minato?! How are we protecting her if she's run away?! And you're just as famous as he is, Tsu! What were you thinking?! We hadn't even talked to her about it yet!"

Tsunade ignored her clansmen for now and pulled out a bra that Naruto had apparently tried on earlier. Kakashi grabbed it, but it didn't have enough of her scent on it to help them and had other scents on it as well. He headed back to the manor to find something that did. He could sniff her out, himself, but he had a terrible feeling that she had managed to get a long distance away. Sunshins made a person harder to track, but he'd find her. He was already the best tracker in Konoha.

Kurama woke up from his long hap when Naruto used chakra again. Dumb kit. She was face down in front of him, and something felt increasingly wrong. "Open your eyes, brat!  Where's that damned dog when you need him?!"

"And who might you be, young lady?" an old man's voice asked kindly as he bent down, his long robes moving as he did so.

"Nobody," she answered bitterly from the ground before everything went dark.

"Excellent."

Danzo had found another potential pawn.