Misplaced Princess

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from the Naruto universe but I do have an imagination of my own. I'd love to hear your comments and suggestions! I really will take advice and suggestions from my readers while continuing the story.

Thinking

Biju, etc. speaking

Biju, etc. thinking

Emphasis

Having been the only one to get anywhere with the little blonde strapped down with chakra restraints in the hospital wing bowels of the Torture and Interrogation Department, Tsunade thought it only appropriate that she should be the one to question the girl. Over the past days, she had spent countless hours testing sedatives and more on the girl. She'd finally seen her startling blue eyes: eyes exactly, and she meant EXACTLY like that brat Minato who was driving her up the walls. Tsunade had tried various herbs and medications or poisons to get the mini-Minato-looking gaki to talk and thought she'd finally had a breakthrough with her data and investigation last night.

No one else had her data, not even Shizune-chan, so she decided to force the issue. "Either I'm the one interrogating her, or you can completely start over," she said fiercely. Ibiki stared at her in disbelief before turning around to go speak with the other department heads about the female Sannin's attitude and actions. She laughed upon hearing the scarred Jonin's threat: "Hokage-sama will be hearing about this," as he walked out the door. Maybe it was exhaustion talking (only partially,) but she was itching for a fight with that brat Hokage. Bring it on! Taking advantage of the T&I officers' absence from the room, she began to administer the initial medications of her concoction to the little blonde's IV.

Success! The brat had finally become limp and she could further examine her skin and the front of her body directly. As her chakra-enhanced hand hovered over her belly a large seal appeared - an extremely complicated one. Kami-sama: she knew what those seals meant - and upon looking at the design more carefully she could tell that there were either 2 or 3 containment seals of some type layered on the girl.   She was a jinchuuriki, just like Tsunade's own grandmother had been. Just like Kushina had been until that terrible night! The girl's seal was different, however. She had seen two jinchuurikis' seals and this was another thing entirely. Tsunade realized that she was going to have to deal with Minato-kun soon, after all, before she remembered that her teammate could definitely help her out instead. She summoned a small clone of her Slug summons, Katsuya, and asked her to bring The Pervert to her directly. She could only hope that the idiot was still in the village.

Adding more elements to the girl's IV, Tsunade waited. She took a deep breath to keep herself together as the girl's hand rose to wipe her eyes. The girl tried to say something but coughed roughly. Finally, after all this time, we'll get answers, Tsunade hoped. Holding up ice water for the child, she helped her drink a bit. The child pushed the cup away and looked at her groggily.

"I'm alive?" the girl asked in a broken voice. Tsunade told her that indeed, she was, then watched with confusion as the girl's blue eyes watered up with tears. "No death for the wicked, ne?" Tears fell down the girl's face, and Tsunade was for once left at a loss. Was she admitting that she's "wicked?" She wasn't considered a sensor, but she could feel the sadness rolling off the child in waves: it was almost overwhelming. "Hurts… My coils," she added, pulling her legs back up to her chest. Tsunade added more of the sedative that she'd found worked somewhat on the young blonde, and watched as she slowly relaxed.

"So tell me about yourself, Gaki," Tsunade began as she moved to a table that included an injection that was filled with what those outside the T&I or medical worlds would undoubtedly call Truth Serum.

"Oi, this will probably sound stupid and not be true, but you look like someone…" Tsunade stopped and raised an eyebrow at what the restrained blonde was saying. "You look like the girl in the picture in JiJi's office, but that's impossible!" She gave a drunken-sounding laugh - definitely caused by the drugs - and continued. "The Slug Sannin: Tsunade? That's her name right?" The girl let out a huge snort, so much like Kushina-chan's it nearly alarmed the med-nin "Nah, that's impossible! I mean, she's old as hell!"

Tsunade felt hands grasping her arms, holding her back - although she really didn't intend to punch the little brat, at least not right now. She was medicated and her patient of sorts, after all. If she hadn't been, the little shit would have found herself punched straight out of the underground bunker they were in! Looking behind her she saw Jiraiya, who Katsuya must have returned with, holding her in place. His idiotic grin meant that he'd heart the stupid girl's last comment. Just perfect. She pulled Jiraiya away to the corner of the room, out of the brat's hearing range. "Jiraiya, I need you to look at these seals… There's no doubt she's a jinchuuriki." She saw the look of alarm on her old teammate's face as the man turned and stomped over to the girl.

He pulled up her hospital top roughly. "Oi! Pervert! Fuck off - let go of me, damnit!" The little blonde struggled against the way-too-tall white-haired man, finally biting him when he wouldn't remove his hand from her stomach. Suddenly she felt incredibly sleepy again and fell back against the sheets. She hadn't seen the medic add more medication to her IV.

Shaking the arm that had been bitten, his eyes widened in shock. "Holy shit! Look at this thing, Tsu!" He pointed to the seal and its components. "I don't know what the hell this thing is on top: never seen a seal like this in my life. But these other two… Fuck, we need to get Minato, fast." Tsunade grumbled - Minato had been a complete pain-in-the-ass as he pushed her to do what she was already doing ever since she arrived in this disgusting building, and she was just really glad that he hadn't shown up again in the hallway yet today. The pansy wouldn't even look at her "patient," and that just pissed her off even more.

The girl's eyes opened again, and she growled like a dog at the pervert who had his giant hand on her stomach. He looked at her in disbelief, then rolled his eyes. "Oi, what's this all about, old man? The author and... the slug granny... messing with... me," she drawled out, her eyes nearly crossing as they closed once again.

"Got a lot of info on the village, doesn't she Hime? You made a hell of a drug there, getting her to admit everything so far," Jiraiya complimented, before praising himself. "She even knew of my literary masterpiece!"

Tsunade snorted, "That thing didn't even sell!" Jiraiya looked up at her, pouting - the fool. Tsunade kept close to the Pervert, her hands ready to drag the girl's top back down if he tried to see anything above or below the seal. Jiraiya liked grown women: he wasn't that kind of pervert, but the girl in front of her - although rather skinny and short was well-endowed for her size. Fortunately, the pervert hadn't noticed that yet.

Waking up again, the young blonde tried to focus her concentration and clear her mind. Unable to do so, she found herself taunting the couple in front of her. "Oi, oi, oi! JiJi's not gonna be pleased you're doing this to me, 'attabane." Jiraiya gave Tsunade a pointed look at the verbal tick that he'd only heard one other person utter. She nodded her head at the man, wondering if he was thinking the same thing she was. "Wait," the little blonde looked around the room, frowning as she tried to make her surroundings out, "This isn't the hospital! What the fuck's going on?!"

"You've got quite a mouth on you, brat," Tsunade stated, trying to hide her amusement as the girl mumbled "You're a brat," sarcastically in response under her breath. "So why don't you tell us about yourself?" The girl yawned widely and loudly before nodding her head at the Sannin.

"What's to tell? Ummm… wait a minute! Everybody knows me! Where the hell am I?" Her eyes closed again after Tsunade added something else to her IV.

"Don't kill her Hime! If she's… Well, if she's got answers, we need to know," Jiraiya said, sighing and leaning back from the gaki in front of them to pop his back.

"I'm watching it, Pervert; there's no need to worry about it at this point. Mouthy brat has rejuvenation like I've never seen before - even for an Uzumaki." Tsunade said, lifting her blonde eyebrow at the man.

"Are you saying…" Jiraiya began, some fear and surprise sounding in his deep voice.

"Tch. I should already know by now! Idiots in this department got her first labs screwed up with someone else's." Tsunade shook her head. "Then they deleted them and lost the samples on top of it. Fucking morons… That's just one more reason why I hate this place."

Jiraiya groaned. "So why'd ya agree to do anything associated with T&I, Tsu?"

"Just a feeling I had… Well, after I first saw the brat," Tsunade said, but Jiraiya gave her a look that said he didn't believe her. Perverted bastard knows me too well. "I knew we needed answers, Jiraiya, and I was honestly afraid they'd kill her before we got any. So, I showed up - and whether Ibiki and those other assholes admit it or not, I think I was right. Kami: can you imagine what they'd have done if they heard her speaking as she does?! She called me a granny to my face - the dumb ass!"

Jiraiya laughed at that, "Yeah, I can only imagine what she'd call Ibiki-san if she woke up to his ugly mug." Tsunade snorted. "Say, Hime, how long will she be out?" Tsunade shrugged and Jiraiya took a deep breath. "So what's your take on this? Be honest with me." Tsunade shook her head and moved to run a diagnostic jutsu on the girl. Jiraiya made a strange sound and decided to be honest. "I've seen a lot of things in my life, Tsu, but this is… This seems like something else altogether. Call me crazy, but I can't help but wonder if…" Tsunade silenced him with her hand.

The girl's eyes opened again and she giggled stupidly. The Sennin looked at each other knowingly and shook their heads: man was she ever drugged-out.

"Those asshole villagers didn't manage to kill me again," she said quietly, but then started laughing - much to the surprise of those standing beside her. She looked at each of them with her now lidded blue eyes. "Why are you two being so nice to me?" She asked genuinely. "You gave me a - a real blanket? Everybody hates me - well, almost everybody… Iruka-sensei tolerates me, I guess: part of that's my fault, though." The girl let out a very unladylike snort. "Oops! Don't tell him I said that - he'll never let me live it down or buy me ramen ever again!" She giggled, her head falling forward. She looked back up and smiled at the Sannin, that smile looking so much like Kushina-chan's that Jiraiya gasped.

"Fuck!" he muttered.

The girl looked up at him in amusement. "Figures you'd be thinking about fucking, pervert…" The girl quietly said, frowning at the man. Tsunade couldn't control her bark of laughter but covered her mouth.

Trying to fight off the laughter both at the girl's comment and The Pervert's outraged face, Tsunade asked, "So gaki, why do YOU think he's a pervert?" Jiraiya glared at her, but she paid him no attention.

"Are you joking? Author-san here writes the biggest porn series ever known!" Jiraiya began sputtering as Tsunade raised her eyebrows in disbelief… Well, some disbelief: leave it to The Pervert to write porn.

"I do no such thing, you brat!" Jiraiya said indignantly. "I am the Great Toad Sage, Mount Myo…" Tsunade clapped a hand over his mouth and shook her head at him, then rolled her eyes. Kami, he's an idiot. Once the Slug Sannin felt safe from Jiraiya's self-obsessed dirty mouth leaking any secrets, she let go of the fool. "I am an author, you have that right, and a great one at that," he said, puffing out his chest. The brat in front of him had the nerve to scoff and begin to softly laugh at him! And what did that do? It made Tsunade laugh! The nerve! Frowning at the girl while in thought, he asked her the first of a few questions that popped into his mind. "You've heard of my work, Tales of a Gutsy Ninja?" The gaki shook her head.

"Don't worry: no one has," Tsunade said snarkily.

Jiraiya harrumphed, once again pouting, then hummed. His eyes lighting up, he asked his next question. "So, gaki… Would you say that this porn series sells well?!" Tsunade smacked her idiotic teammate in the back of his head, sending him flying across the room. The girl's eyes lit up in surprise and glee until she looked warily at Tsunade.

"Ano, yeah, it does?" She answered, darting her eyes between the Sannin. She did not want to get in the way of that woman's hand! The white-haired man got up from the floor with big pervy eyes.

"Reeeeeeally?!" he asked excitedly as Tsunade began cursing him. The blonde in the bed nodded her head. He'd never thought about writing smut before, but that might be the key to his success as a writer - and more success in life! Writing what he knows and loves best… Doing what he loved to do, perhaps under the guise of more "research?" I'm brilliant! Without thinking, he began rubbing his hands together greedily, not realizing that the females in the room thought he looked like an anime villain.

He hadn't realized the gaki chained to the bed had once again closed her eyes until he noticed Tsunade checking her vitals. "She alright?" he asked. Sue him, but he could admit the blonde brat was a charmer… a completely foul-mouthed one, but a charmer nonetheless. He dealt with women with all sorts of charms, though, and loved his village more than all of them combined. He wouldn't let a threat stop him from doing what he'd have to do for Konoha, and the girl could be a threat. She's a damn Jinchuuriki: of course she's a threat, he scolded himself. Still, he couldn't get past the strong feeling in his gut that said that this gaki was anything but a threat to Konoha. And if he was right about…

The girl woke up again, her eyes wide and wary. He barely heard her whisper, "Someone's coming," in a frightened voice. She curled up in her bed, looking every bit a scared kitten - especially with those whisker-looking marks on her cheeks. The two adults in the room looked at her in question: she was shaking.

The door burst open and in walked a furious Hokage, already beginning to shout. "Tsunade-hime!" He had Hiraishined over to T&I after hearing from Ibiki-kun about her actions. Looking at the other occupants of the room, he glared furiously at the girl. "Sensei?" Minato asked. He hadn't expected to see Jiraiya-sensei here, and he definitely would have never expected the man to step in front of the damn girl on the bed as if he was shielding her from him. Suddenly the temperature in the room dropped.

Crawling around the bed as far as she could to see around the large man in front of her, the girl snarled and asked in a low, dangerous voice, "Who the fuck do you think you are, impersonating the Yondaime?" Gone was the kitten who had been shaking in fear; she had been replaced with a young woman who looked as fierce as a tiger. The chakra seals on her arms began burning off and Tsunade moved quickly. Something was slapped on her forehead and she saw black.