Solus

I looked curiously at the banner Mama had pinned to the wall and the other various colorful things that decorated the usually bland walls of the compound. No one had told me it was my birthday, so despite them not meaning to, my parents had made it a surprise one. 

In my fitted kimono, I knelt alongside Mama as the Hyūga clan elders entered. The lighter purple color was different than the color of my usual outfit which was a dark blue. Though it hurt my legs terribly, I continued to sit on them until all of the elders had arrived and we could stand up. It was us showing our respect to them, something that was basic etiquette according to mama.

The bright open room was filled with (almost) all of the members of the Hyūga clan. They were the only people I was ever around as I didn't leave the compound. I stayed at the house, or in mama's flower garden with her. We would drink tea together while she listed the names of all the sorts of flowers and plants she kept. 

 Both main and branch, all with white eyes. It was similar to when I was first brought home. Something was different this time, however. More specifically Neji, the boy my mama said was my cousin, was different compared to last time.

His aura swirled violently, sharp enough to slice leaves. I could feel it distinctly amongst the stillness of the others. It spun around him as he stood with glaring eyes. He was standing still inside his own whirling tornado.

Where was his papa his mama and papa?

I didn't have time to ponder before it was time for me to open up my presents. I was given many toys. Mostly stuffed animals, glass dolls, and wooden toys. My favorite gifts were the ones given to me by Mama and Papa.

When I opened mama's gift, I originally mistook it for a stuffed beetle, but after looking at it a bit closer I realized it was a cat. The body was long and slim, while the head was big and circular. Its stitched fur was black, with no spots. The large round eyes were a deep blue.

Mama made it herself, but when? I had no idea. I also had no idea that she was able to sew...mama was capable of many different things it seemed.

Papa's gift wasn't wrapped, or in a box of any kind. It was a thick book with a dark red cover. Bold lines spelled out the words, "chakra" on the cover. He nodded at me when I looked at him for confirmation. Papa gifting me the book meant that he believed that I was ready to begin training.  After I was kidnapped, I pestered papa to begin to train me. 

It seems my begging has paid off.

Mama and Papa's gifts were the only gifts that I knew I'd keep even as I got older and became a teenager. Not because I was ungrateful or didn't like any of my other gifts, but because instead of my room being filled with toys, it would be filled with weapons, training equipment, scrolls, and other ninja bits and bobbles.

At the end of my birthday party, as everyone began to say their goodbye's, I caught the grouchy elder's attention,

"Thank you for coming,"

I said it with a low bow. It was a lie, however. I wasn't thankful to them for coming at all. I only said it to earn praise from Mama and Papa. I wished they hadn't come because I could feel their gazes on me the whole time. They looked at me the same way the faceless people did. Only something to learn from. What did they want to learn from me? I didn't know. I didn't know a lot of things.

I would have to ask mama later, she always knew the answers to my questions.

Ɛ!3

Mama was in charge of teaching me etiquette as well as reading and writing. So when I began to read the book papa gifted me, she was there to help me with any of the big words that I didn't understand. There was a lot.

Only after I finished reading the book, as well as memorized its contents, papa woke me up early in the morning before handing me a pair of dark blue clothes. He told me to get changed and meet him at the dojo. The shirt was a comfortable but loose material, dark blue with short sleeves. The pants were black and went down to my ankles, however, on the ends, there were these ties that I could use to pull them up and fasten them into pants that instead went to my upper calves.

I had been to the dojo before to see papa train, so I knew the way there. It was a large open room, with wooden floors and a high ceiling. There was also the outdoor training field close to Mama's personal garden- but it seemed as though we weren't going to use it today.

"Hina-Chan, since you can control your body to an adequate degree, your training will begin today," I nodded my head eagerly, "we'll start with some simple stretches."

The stretches Papa had me do, were not as simple as I thought they'd be. While I was able to control my body relatively well, better than when I was a baby at least, it was still quite difficult to move it into specific poses.

I tried my hardest to accurately twist, turn, and bend my body in the unfamiliar positions Papa was in. I revealed in the painful pull of my muscles. The mountain, touching my toes, butterfly, were all stretches we did together. We did more than I couldn't name or remember. And then, after it all, Papa had me sit with my legs crossed and close my eyes. He said we were doing something called meditating.

"Focus on your breathing. Picture and feel the air flowing through your body."

I did as I was told, ignoring the sounds of my loud heartbeat and heavy breathing. I focused only on the chilly morning air flowing in from the open windows, nothing else. I felt it go down my throat, pass through and enter my lungs. I almost didn't hear Papa when he said,

"Now, I want you to do something else. Instead of focusing on the air, focus on the chakra inside of you."

From the book papa had me read, I learned what chakra was. That shinobi and kunoichi used it when they performed jutsus. They produced it naturally, but they could also increase the amount they produced through meditation and practice.

From that information, I was able to realize that the "aura" of others that I had been able to feel since I was young, was chakra. All those times I thought I was feeling other people's presence, I was just feeling their chakra.

If I was able to feel the chakra of others so easily, then surely that meant that I'd be able to feel my own.

I closed my eyes and tried to feel inside of myself. It was difficult because I didn't know exactly what I was trying to grasp. I knew how other people's chakra felt, but I didn't know how my own did. Was it a gentle buzz like mamas? A strong wave-like papa's? Or was it perhaps a whirling spiral like Neji's? I had no idea.

When my first day of training ended, I still hadn't felt the chakra circulating throughout my body. I still hadn't even after my second, third, fourth, and so on.

From the book I knew that every living thing possessed chakra, I wasn't the exception. If I had it then why was it so difficult to feel?

Ɛ!3

It was only two weeks after I had begun trying to feel the chakra inside of me when it finally happened. It was just a flicker, and when I felt it I imagined the pathways in my mind. The chakra flowed to the different points in my body like water.

My excitement was what made me lose concentration, however. Papa scolded me for that. It gave me hope though. Because if I could do it once, surely I could do it again. I was right, because only a couple of days later, did I feel the gentle flow again. This time, I tightly held onto the feeling of it, determined not to let it go once more. After that second time, it became easier to feel the chakra inside of me.

The next step was moving and molding the chakra. It took me even longer to get a grasp on it. After many weeks of trying to get a single leaf to stick on the top of my finger, I finally accomplished it for just a second.

Similar to feeling the chakra inside of me, once I did it once it became easier. By practicing every day until I'd be depleted of chakra, I was able to get good enough to hold a leaf comfortably on my finger for a considerable amount of time.

While I trained with Papa, I not only worked on my chakra control but flexibility and strength as well. He said both were necessary to learn the clan's fighting style. All of it was very tiring, but I didn't mind. I was happy to spend time with my dear Papa and become stronger.

 Strong enough to be able to do something, rather than just close my eyes and wait for papa to save me.  

Ɛ!3

I had noticed the gradual change in the house. The way Papa was a bit more hesitant and protective around Mama. He held her hand and helped her up the steps and would take her shoes off for her. Little things like that which he used to never do. Or in the very least, I had not seen him do it. Mama was also different. She would walk a bit more slowly, and had an almost knowing air to her.

Despite noticing the change, I was still surprised when Mama sat down on my bed next to me with her small, scar-covered hand holding her tummy and a joyous look in her clear white eyes, "You're going to be an older sister, my dear Hina-chan."

My mouth opened and I-

She took me into her arms and I could already feel the difference. Her belly was a bit wider and warm, and buzzing with something full of life, and I knew. I knew what that meant because somewhere, somewhere lost but still quite there, I knew that Hinata-I-, I would not have a mama for much longer. Words left my mouth. Words that I didn't mean.

"I'm so excited!" I'm not excited, "I promise to be a good older sister!" Please don't leave me.

I knew that when my little sibling, Ha, Hana, Hanabi-, was born mama would go away. My mama was going to leave me. She smiled and moved my hanging hair away from my forehead before placing a gentle kiss on it.

"I know you will be," she said and my face contorted into a stretched wide line. A smile.

I didn't want Mama to go. I so dearly didn't want her to leave me.

She was going to leave me.

And I-

I couldn't stop her.

Ɛ!3