Present

When a bunch of papers settled on Sakura’s desk, she realized she had been slacking off work more than she should have. The last few days had been too exhausting. Although she had been relieved when both Naruto and Sasuke had returned to the village, her heart clenched with the thought that if she had accompanied them, the situation wouldn’t have gotten so dire. 

The last time Sasuke had come back injured and Naruto was brought back by kids, she had been determined to be there to protect them the next time. But that hadn’t been the case when Isshiki infiltrated Konoha, and an emergency was declared. She knew at the time of emergency, her role as medic nin was a greater priority than fighting in the battlefield. Still, the fact that they had left without her still stung her.

Why was she the one who was always left behind? 

These days felt akin to the days she had trained under Tsunade — being left out by her teammates, unable to help them or make a difference. Always waiting for them to return then, waiting for them to recover now.

She sipped her coffee, before glancing at the clock and starting to go through the file of one of her teammates (her inner self blurted out Hokage-sama). She looked through the examination report she had run in the morning on Naruto. Naruto had protested, but she was adamant about it. Some things never really changed, she realized.

Although she was relieved that the reports stated that Naruto was fine, she knew her friend was struggling emotionally. Kurama had been there with him for a long time, and separating from him had left a big dent on his soul. Not to mention the issues with his son had been bothering him. She had overheard their conversation when Sasuke was at the hospital, and she had known him long enough to figure out the tone of his speech.

Closing the file, she realized it was about time she should go home. But before that, she reminded herself that she needed to make a quick visit to Tenten’s shop. 

When she reached her house, she found Sarada splayed on the couch with a book lying open on her chest. A gentle smile spread on Sakura’s face seeing her sleeping, but it faded when she realized she had been out for the whole day on her daughter’s birthday. She covered Sarada with a blanket, realizing it was too late to wake her up to give her her birthday present. She took off her glasses and kissed her forehead, murmuring an apology. 

Sighing, she walked to her room and was greeted by the sight of Sasuke sleeping — his head, resting on the headboard with an open scroll lying on his lap. She leaned against the door, taking a moment to observe him. He looked the same as he had that morning — tired and defeated.  

The last time he had come back to her with serious injuries, she had thought nothing could be worse than that. She had hoped this time that she would welcome him back, but when things didn’t go as she anticipated, she couldn’t feel but feel angry that she was left behind. 

She was spiralling deep into her redundant thoughts when she heard Sasuke saying, “Welcome back.” 

She blinked, shaking her thoughts off because she couldn’t change what was done, and whispered back, “I’m home.” 

“Is your eye giving you any trouble?” she asked, walking towards him.

Sasuke shrugged, “A little.”

She knew he was having a hard time, but he wouldn't admit like his sixteen year self. Some things never changed, she realized again. 

“Did you eat?” Sakura asked as she started examining his left eye. 

“Aah,” Sasuke smiled.

Sakura's heart warmed up seeing him smile. “Did something happen?” she asked.

“Sarada…" Sasuke sighed in relief as Sakura's chakra flowed through his eye. "She has really grown up,” Sasuke admitted.

Sakura admitted the same, smiling, but her features were still sad. 

“Sakura?”

She looked towards Sasuke — a man she had known long enough, yet he looked so different to her now. 

She lied, “Nothing. I feel bad because I couldn’t give her any time today. I wanted to make her favourite dishes.”

Sakura checked his other eye as she went on, “It’s just that she always treasures the little things. Once around her birthday, you had sent a letter, and…”  

For a moment, she paused, pretending she was concentrating on checking his vision, but her inner self was daunted by the realization that she had been alone there too — raising Sarada all by herself. 

“... and she had treasured it so much. I bet she still has it,” she tried to laugh it off though.

Before she could excuse herself, Sasuke held her wrist. Sakura didn't avoid Sasuke's gaze like she had done in the hospital. She flinched on realizing how immature it was to project the bitterness of being left behind on him like that. 

They didn't say anything for a minute and savoured the silence between them.

However, when her vision blurred with tears, Sakura averted her gaze, and she let out her insecurity. “'I'm scared, Sasuke-kun.”

Scared because I’m used to you always coming back sound and safe to me.

She cupped Sasuke's cheeks, tenderly tracing them, as she whispered almost like a prayer, “Always come back safely to me.”

However, when Sakura saw the struggle in his eye, she apologized for what she had said.

Sasuke leaned forward against Sakura's torso. Sasuke thought about his resolve. He didn't want to back off from his resolve even if that hurted Sakura because he was Itachi's brother after all  — like his brother, he would bear the pain of his loved ones but would hesitate to show it. 

Sakura held him close to her body, clutching at his overgrown hair. She had married a man who put his duty first. Moreover, she was a shinobi herself, and she knew what she was asking was unfair. She just couldn't match the picture of her that always thanked him for his sacrifices, and her current self who lamented because she was afraid that in spite of his promise to return back to her, one day he wouldn't. 

When they part, Sakura wipes her tears away, and Sasuke says, “Sakura, can you bring me a paper and pen?” 

Sakura raised an eyebrow, but she did what Sasuke asked for.

She handed him those and sat down, looking in amazement while Sasuke tried to scribble something. After a few attempts, Sasuke’s vision finally adjusted, and Sakura read while he wrote.

Dear Sarada, You’re the light of my life.

Happy Birthday!

Sakura almost smiled, but she didn’t when she saw Sasuke frowning. 

He scribbled something again and handed it to Sakura. Sakura read it now and smiled cheerfully after days. And for the first time after so many days, Sasuke felt like he was home. The bright smile on his wife's face was enough to assure him of that. 

Dear Sarada, You’re the light of my our life.

Happy Birthday!

She rolled the paper carefully, saying, “We will give her in the morning.”  

Sasuke nodded. Perhaps now he could understand what Itachi had felt. Now he finally realized that Itachi never regretted his decision, because he wanted Sasuke to shine. He was wrong when he thought that what he had lost had all been in vain. The little girl who brought so much light into his life thirteen years ago now had a bright future ahead of her.