Mindlessly sprinting down unknown, eerie halls. Stumbling and tripping. Eyes burning as he forces his tears back in. Running out of breath, his vision started to blur. The burning candles on the walls leave him hot and sweating. Door by door he kept searching and searching. His legs start aching as he continues to race down the dim hallway. He slams the door open, yet no one is there. Repeatedly slams every door at his sight and each room leaves him unsatisfied. Searching and searching for a man. A man who was the first he let in his heart. A man who was the first to make him feel as warm as the sun. A man who first gave him the feeling of love. A man who he had a bond with. Giving up is the last thing on his mind. He keeps going, door by door. Each room makes him more and more hopeless. And when he least expected it, he took a deep breath. Surprised, confused, happy, sad, angry, he had no idea what to feel. The man slowly turned around until finally, Naruto’s eyes met Sasuke’s face.
Sasuke hadn’t looked up yet, but the sight was terrifying. Sasuke’s mouth and hands dyed blood red. His clothes slipping off his skinny arms. His ribs almost popped out. The sound of his raspy, heavy breath. Deep dark bags under his eyes. His skin was a bluish tone yet so pale. Sasuke quickly turned back with his head in a toilet, coughing, gagging, puking, bleeding.
“Close the door.” He said between coughs. Assuming it was one of the usuals who interrupted him.
Naruto’s eyes widen with a rush of emotions. Shock, fear, disgust, worry. He froze, staring at his one and only, watching him almost disappearing.
“Close it!” His coughs calmed down and Sasuke wiped the blood off his mouth with the sleeve of his white robe. The blood kept dripping and the fabric couldn’t absorb it anymore, leaving more red stains on his hands and arms. Red smears all around his mouth and cheeks. Sasuke didn’t even care about the blood anymore. His mouth remained tasting like warm metal. Brown patches of dried blood on his fingers, palms and chin. His stomach kept twisting and turning. His head and lack of iron made him dizzy. His vision was blurry, for the most part, yet he saw some things so clearly. So vividly. Countless of shapes, colours, places he’s never seen before. Similar to a Genjutsu, but these illusions were different. So much more dreamy, so mesmerizing, so euphoric. The hallucinations immediately went away as soon as Sasuke violently coughed up a few drops of blood into his palms.
Naruto steps in, shuts the door and speed walks towards him. Sasuke motions his hand, trying to tell him to stay back. His voice was tired and his legs were weak. Sasuke stumbled and his knees dropped on the floor as he panted.
“Sasuke..?” Naruto grabs Sasuke’s arms to keep him from falling flat on the bloody ground.
“What the hell is this?”
Sasuke jumps and falls back again. He looks at Naruto with confusion and fear.
“Is it really you?”
“Huh?”
Sasuke slowly gets up and touches Naruto’s arms. His hands find their way up to his face, cupping his cheeks. Is this another illusion? Am I hallucinating him? Is he actually here?
“Oh my God, it’s you...”
“Who else would it be? Sasuke, what the hell is going on?” Naruto was as concerned as ever.
“Why are you here?”
“I came to bring you back to Konoha. But forget about that, what is the matter with you?”
“Nothing’s wrong!” He says with his voice transitioning back to raspy. He starts coughing again and again. Tumbling and falling. He points towards a nightstand in a room leading out of this bathroom. Naruto notices he is pointing at the glass of water standing on top of the desk. He quickly rushes there and back and helps him sip on the water. Sasuke chugs huge gulps of water, thinking he feels better until he starts coughing again. A blood clot lands on his palms and he wipes it off on his red stained clothes.
“Can you talk?”
“Of course I can talk, idiot.”
“Tell me. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong. Mind your business and get out of here.” He struggled getting up but he refused to ask for more help. He grabbed a towel hanging on the rack, rinsed it and wiped his mouth and hands. He walks to his bed and lays down with his legs hanging from the side. Naruto couldn’t help but follow every step he took.
“I don’t care what happens. You can’t tell anyone about this.”
As much as Naruto wanted Sakura and Kakashi to know that Sasuke was sick and struggling, he wanted to know what was up and find a way to help him out.
“Fine, just tell me.”
Sasuke takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, preparing himself to let Naruto be fully disappointed in him.
“I..” He couldn’t get himself to continue the sentence.
“Sasuke, you can tell me anything. I’ll always be there to help” Naruto said as he laid next to Sasuke.
After stumbling on words and swallowing drops of blood. He confessed.
“Orochimaru uses substances and drugs on me and they have some kind of effect on my body.” His voice stays weak, raspy and nasally.
He turns to Naruto expecting a face full of anger and fury. Somehow his bright blue eyes were calming and reassuring.
“You’re not mad?”
“Why would I be mad? I mean yeah, I’m mad but not at you. Why the hell would he do that?!”
Sasuke explains Orochimaru’s new method of taking over his body and how the substances Sasuke is consuming manipulates his body by making it weak and forcing it to sustain it. Using side-effect pills to make the damages not deadly. In other words, using extra drugs to make it so he wouldn’t die no matter what happens. Making him immortal. By doing that, he is encouraging his body to be stronger to another level, Orochimaru’s preferred body type will be a success.
“Are you serious? Why did you even take them?!” Naruto exclaimed as he got up.
“I didn’t know, okay? He told me it’s medicine that makes me stronger. He kept telling me the side effects will go away and they never did. Then I realized that I’m..that I’m—”
“Look, I’m sorry but I have to tell this to Sakura and Kakashi Sensei at least.”
Sasuke scoffs. “Fine. Tell them. It’s not like any of this feels real, anyway.”
“What the hell are you saying?”
“I’m saying these drugs..they make me hallucinate and have nightmares and it hurts! It hurts everywhere! I hate it! I don't know who I am and I never know what to feel! My emotions just act up on their own and I keep seeing these pictures and I'm losing my mind! This doesn’t feel like me at all! I hate it!”
“Sasuke, calm down. Please.”
“How can I calm down?! I still feel like this is all in my head!” Sasuke’s anger fills the room as he gets up.
“Well it’s not!”
Sasuke’s figure is flashing red and sweaty. He takes a deep breath and attempts to calm himself down. Before he passes out he forces himself awake and leans on the wall.
“How can I be so sure? How can I be so sure you’re actually here?”
Naruto gets up and takes Sasuke’s hands.
“Because look at me, I’m right here. You can hear me, feel me.” Naruto put Sasuke’s palm on his chest to let him feel his heartbeat. “See? I’m right here.”
Sasuke looks into his eyes and makes a weak smile. “Why is your heart beating so fast?”
“Because you’re scaring me, Sasuke. I hate seeing you like this. I hate it so much.”
Sasuke’s eyes water and his voice breaks. “Naruto..”
He clenched his fist to crumple Naruto’s shirt to press on his chest harder. “I need to get out of here.” He nodded in agreement and held Sasuke’s hand, letting him press even harder. Sasuke was falling but he caught himself but landed his forehead against Naruto’s.
“Sasuke? Are you crying?”
“No.”
“You’re crying.”
“Shut up.”
“I feel like it’s really you.” He smiled.
“You do?”
Sasuke rubbed his thumb onto Naruto’s cheek and sniffled.
“Yeah. You’re starting to feel like yourself again, aren’t you?”
“Naruto..I missed you so fucking much.” Naruto smiled. It was small yet genuine.
“I should’ve listened to you two years ago, damnit.”
“Well listen to me now, let’s go to the hospital and get you recovered.”
Sasuke sighed. “I can’t recover from this. Look at me, I'm horrible.” Naruto let him fall onto his chest and wrapped his arms around him. They both simultaneously dropped their knees on the floor.
“Sasuke, I’m going to get you out of here. Alright?”
“How the hell are you gonna do that?”
“I’ll kill Orochimaru, of course.”
“Dumbass, you can’t do that. He’s one of the Legendary Sannin, he will kill you instantly.”
“I don’t care what happens, I don’t care if my limbs get chopped off. I’m getting you out of here.”
Naruto wipes the tears off Sasuke's face.
“Why?”
“What do you mean why?”
“Why do that for me?”
“Because I need you. I want you. By my side. I want us to be friends and tease each other like we used to. I want you to keep feeling my heartbeat.” Naruto took Sasuke’s hand and placed his palm on his chest again. The black eyes gazed at Naruto, examining his ocean blue eyes, his golden hair, his plump lips. The unique whiskers on his cheeks made the sight even better. He was so different, so dreamy, so mesmerizing, so euphoric.
“Sasuke?”
Sasuke’s eyes are blinking slowly. As if they're shutting off, he tries to force them open to gaze further into these ocean eyes. He rubbed his bloody thumbs on Naruto’s whiskers and leaned in slowly, closer and closer until their lips collided into a soft, addicting kiss. He let his eyes shut as they melted into each other’s arms. Naruto could taste the blood on the tip of his tongue but he didn’t care. No one cared. Time stopped. Sasuke could feel every inch of his body. All the pain, the lust, the aches, the warmth. His heart was beating in his head. He pulled away once he felt the beat slow down.
“I feel like I’m gonna pass out.” Sasuke whispered into his mouth.
“You’re gonna be fine. Listen, I love you, okay?”
Naruto knew well what was happening. He let his emotional vulnerability get the best of him, to get him to say those words. With Sasuke’s palm on his chest, he felt those emotions just as much.
Sasuke barely whispered back. “I love you too, loser.” He hugged Naruto tightly. He knew he needed him. He needed him more than anything. It was like a drug to him. Strangely, this moment was the first time he felt sober in years. He squeezed Naruto’s body until he fell asleep. His flesh was cold as ever. His breath is getting raspier, slower and disappearing. He slept cold in Naruto’s warm arms. The warmth of his palm on Sasuke’s cool, hard, exposed chest. Salty tears down his cheeks. Feeling his heartbeat one last time.