Lone Wolf
5
Kakashi liked the city when its evening or night time, it was somewhat peaceful and quiet even if the city never did sleep.
As fascinating this world was, full of new things to discover, Kakashi didn't like it. It was loud, too loud for his sensitive ears and the smell was awful, polluted water and air. Earth was suffering because people refused to do something to make it better.
Tree's are scarce, chopped off and never replaced. Animals are endangered with their natural habitat gone and only a small amount of people actually care.
Kakashi doesn't like this new world, fascinating and full of wonders it was. He wanted his home back, want the Konoha's back, want his village back.
Kakashi misses home and there is no way to find it.
He sighs mournfully, one hand running through his floofy silver hair. Without the bandana to hold it up like his hitatae did, it flopped around his head and forehead, covering his left eye most often or not.
The moonlight shines through the window of his dark bedroom and Kakashi is suddenly reminded of that painful time when he found his father's corpse, cold and soaked in his own blood, a tanto in hand and his stomach open.
His back had been facing the window, kissed by the moonlight and by it's glow, showed the unmistakable blood under him.
Kakashi hadn't really needed to see the blood, he had already smelled it miles away but he wanted to make sure, wanted to see if his father was okay, if he was still alive, if he was there and if Kakashi had been a better child maybe his Otou-san wouldn't have left, maybe instead of scorning him, he should've helped, he should've been there for his Otou-san but the village kept saying-.
A nose presses up his cheek and he distantly realises that he had ended up on his back, sprawled on the wooden floor under the moonlight with his eyes unseeing.
Pakkun nosed his unmasked face, worry in the pugs face and Kakashi might have laughed at how adorable the ninken looked like if he had any energy for it.
"Boss," The pug grumbles, voice deep, "You should stop doing that, dissociation and losing yourself in bad memories, were here for you and if you've got problems, tell us, we're pack remember?".
The rest of the pack, laying around him and pressing close, barks their own agreement and Kakashi feels a little bit better.
It had been happening once again, those times where a small thing would trigger the memories he suppressed and leaving him drained. Leaving him blank and anstsy, an irresistible urge to take on Hounds mask on again and take suicidal missions.
He was lapsing, he was slipping and his longing for his pack, his family, his students is crushing him, the pain crushing his heart.
Hatake's were known as a clan of family and bonds, regardless of what or who's blood runs in your veins, if they accepted you then your pack.
Bonds are forge from an early age, the adults helping the pups and teaching them and as they grew, so did the bonds of their pack stronger.
Kakashi hadn't had that, his father dead before he could explain how their clan worked and leaving him alone.
His Hatake instincts, yearning for a pack, is surpressed with the thought of it as nothing but a mere distraction.
It had been too late for Kakashi when he'd realise that he had unconsciously started to consider his Team 7 as a pack. Obito was dead under a bolder and Rin was deaddeaddeaddead her blood is on my hands and why won't it wash off?.
He'd bury himself in anbu then, when his Sensei and the woman he viewed as a mother died as well. He did his best in helping the son that they left, leaving food and supplies for the blonde even if it wasn't allowed.
He doesn't view anyone as packmates, not even as friends and its only when Gai had beat some sense into him that he slowly opened, spent more time as Kakashi instead Hound and learned how to live a life with his grief and sins following his every step.
It's only when he became the teacher of Team 7 that he let's himself open up, let's his Hatake instincts mark the children up.
He was never a good teacher, never good with kids but he made sure to teach them the importance of team work.
With them, he goes through so much things, he meets people and vist places and feels exasperated because his pups were idiots, kami how the hell would they survive if it weren't for Tenzo?.
He had realised then, when they fought Kaguya side by side, his students covering his back as he covers theirs that he made a pack. A family to call his own.
His Hatake instinct crooned in happiness then, his white chakra warm and bright as he accepts his pack.
A pack that is now gone.
Hatake's were known as a clan of family and bonds, regardless of what or who's blood runs in your veins, if they accepted you then you're pack.
For Kakashi to go long as he did without a pack to lean on, it was amazing he hadn't gone manic and feral yet. The presence of his comrades around him certainly helped and his pups by his side eased off the pain of loneliness.
The loneliness that is back.
"It'll be alright boss," Pakkun huffs as he fits himself in the crook of Kakashi's neck, "Your pack is safe and sound and you may not be with them, probably won't ever see them, but they're still you pack and will remain your pups".
Kakashi stares at ceiling with blank eyes, feeling less empty and he huffs a chuckle, voice thick with emotions, "Yeah, everything will be alright".
Kakashi was a lone wolf with no pack in this unfamiliar world, his home dimension away but like Pakkun had said, it'll be all right because with them or not, they're still his pack and will forever remain as his pups.