Kakuzu
You don’t know true pain until you have literally been set on fire three times and your ears hurt from everybody around you screaming. That was what Kakuzu was dealing with right now. With a two-faced plant obsessed nerd, a whiny romantic boy, and a literal demon and his stupid as shit god.
If Kakuzu was really desperate, he’d pray to God, but he isn’t THAT desperate.
“Are we gonna go hiking?”
“Shut up.”
“We share the same body bro-”
“Can’t we have a moment of peace?”
“Not when stupid Uchiha here is whining bout his unrequitted love.”
“HEY!”
The smaller, black haired boy threw a pillow at the older male. They caught it easily, though.
“If you don’t want us talking about it, stop crying.”
“I WASN’T FRICKING CRYING!”
“It sure sounded like it.”
“UGH! I HATE YOU!”
“You mean us?”
“Yeah, even if we share a body we still are different people.”
“Yeah, Tobi.”
“MY NAME IS OBITO!”
Kakuzu shot a look at the angry Obito.
“We all call you Tobi, so suck it up.”
Obito stormed out of the tent.
Zetsu grinned-though only one side of his face smiled. That was the weird part of the nerd, he talks with both sides of his face-separately. Maybe an extreme case of bi-polar, Kakuzu once thought.
“We’re lucky Hidan isn’t awake.”
Kakuzu gave an annoyed cough.
“Yeah, you think? Spitting out curses and praising his idiot god and doing who-knows-what is DEFINITELY fucking cool and normal.”
“Although he is way funnier than whatever junk and shit Tobi’s always spitting out.”
“Agreed.”
---
Who decided that he wanted to inject himself with that serum?
Who thought it was a good idea to punish him for failing his mission when he almost succeeded?
Who deserved all of the hate in the world?
Who turned him into the monster he is today?
...
It’s fine, though. All fine.
The village is now gone. Destroyed. No survivors left from that once very big town. It was just debris now. Dead, decomposing bodies. Buried screams of children and adults killed. Broken wishes and dreams of kids. Sighs and sorrows of grownups. Lives.
All gone. The human body is very fragile.
...
Bastards. It was their fault he did all of that.
~~~
“Where did Tobi go anyway?”
“I’m not going to look for his sorry butt.”
“I didn’t suggest that!”
“Idiot.”
Zetsu was arguing with himself again. This happened a lot of times before, once in a fast food restaurant, where Pain had to freeze the entire place and make all of the others pour water over the burning place because Zetsu set it on fire debating whether he should eat meat or not. Konan had burns all over her, Itachi wouldn’t leave his room for days, and Deidara dyed his hair black because of the scorch marks.
Hidan was still nowhere to be seen.
Kakuzu normally would be very glad, but Hidan’s long absence was...a bit worrying. He usually would start bothering him right now.
Kakuzu decided to check his lists. Yeah, so he kept a list, you going to stop him? Besides, it was usually a list of his old partners.
“....Now can we go look for him?”
“No.”
“Ugh…”
“I would say you go but we share a body.”
“I hate sharing a body.”
“Do I look like I like it?”
“I dunno, but we probably look like an otherworldly creature.”
Kakuzu’s attention faded away from Zetsu, now talking about food, because at the mention of “otherworldly creatures” his mind decided to give him a kick in the face by reminding him that-
He isn’t really human.