Different Skill Sets
Iruka-sensei ended up with an umeshu with soda, which he consumed enthusiastically.
A little too enthusiastically, in fact, so Kakashi made sure to get them both large glasses of water and watched carefully until Iruka-sensei's was emptied. Only then did he motion for Tōshin to come back over.
Tōshin returned bearing another whiskey for Kakashi and a new taster for Iruka-sensei.
"An oatmeal honey scotch," he explained to the smiling teacher. "It's stronger than the umeshu, but it's easy to drink."
Iruka-sensei sipped it tentatively, but then a broad, surprised smile took over his face.
"That's very good!" he said appreciatively. "Thank you. How do you usually recommend it, uhm, prepared?"
Tōshin traded a look with Kakashi, far too fast and subtle for Iruka-sensei to catch, before saying, "I could mix it with soda, like I did with the umeshu."
Iruka-sensei smiled blindingly.
"That sounds great. Thank you!" he gushed.
Kakashi suppressed a grin. Iruka-sensei probably didn't realize that he was leaning towards Tōshin, drawn by the magnetic attractiveness of the former specialist and affected already rather obviously by the drink in his system. Iruka-sensei wasn't, Kakashi could tell, trying to flirt – but he was definitely coming across as flirty.
"I'll be right back with that," Tōshin said with a wink.
Kakashi gave Tōshin a token glare, though Iruka-sensei clearly hadn't noticed the wink, and Kakashi knew that Tōshin casually flirted with anything and everything that moved.
Tōshin gave Kakashi a wink for his troubles, and Kakashi rolled his eye in response, tugging down his mask briefly to sip his whiskey.
"This place is really nice," Iruka-sensei said, leaning forward as if confiding a secret. "Thank you, Kakashi-san."
Kakashi smiled over his mask.
"It's the only place I actually enjoy coming to drink," he said in reply. "I'll go out with people to some of the other bars around town, but they're too noisy for me, most of the time."
"And gross," Iruka-sensei agreed, wrinkling his nose. The scar stretched across his face wrinkled, too, and something about it struck Kakashi as oddly endearing. "Everything's always sticky."
Kakashi chuckled.
"I remember the first and last time I sat in a puddle of beer on a bench at one place," he admitted. "At least, I really hope it was beer."
Iruka-sensei laughed, and it was bright and open and shockingly innocent. It was a laugh like Iruka-sensei had never known pain.
"That sounds awful!" he agreed, still grinning while trying to look understanding. "And I thought karaoke with a bar full of teachers was bad!"
Kakashi snorted, imagining Suzume-sensei doing karaoke. She definitely picked an enka song, he decided, snickering.
Tōshin returned with Iruka-sensei's whiskey soda, which Kakashi was grateful to see contained more ice than anything, and based on the colour, more soda than whiskey. Iruka-sensei didn't appear to notice the ratios of ice to soda to whiskey and merely smiled sweetly up at Tōshin as he accepted the drink.
"Careful," Kakashi teased Iruka-sensei, "he might think you like him, if you keep smiling at him like that."
That made Iruka-sensei splutter and go red. Tōshin laughed and waved off Iruka-sensei's embarrassment, returning with an easy, "Not to worry. Besides, I know when I'm outclassed."
Kakashi felt his own face go warm and decided that he had drunk quite enough alcohol for the evening, thank you very much.
Fortunately, Iruka-sensei merely looked confused.
"What did he mean by that?" Iruka-sensei asked, once Tōshin had wandered away once more.
"No idea," Kakashi lied, fiddling with his glass of whiskey so the single cube of ice would clink against the side of the glass.
It wasn't like he was interested in Iruka-sensei like that, after all. Definitely not. Nope. What an absurd idea.
"Huh," Iruka-sensei said, shrugging it off with the ease of the tipsy.
Iruka-sensei took another sip of his drink before he set it down and said, "So, ANBU, huh?"
Kakashi blinked.
"What about ANBU?" he asked carefully despite his own tipsiness.
"How long were you in it?" Iruka-sensei wanted to know. "Or are you still...?"
Kakashi quirked a smile despite himself.
"Active ANBU can't be jōnin-sensei for genin teams," he said. "I retired about five years ago. How did you know?"
Iruka-sensei shrugged.
"You brought me to an ANBU bar."
Kakashi laughed in surprise.
"You could tell?"
Iruka-sensei shot Kakashi a sharp look, though it was ruined a little by the fuzziness of alcohol.
"Of course I could tell," Iruka-sensei said imperiously. "I work at the Mission Assignment Desk, handing out missions of all ranks 'xcept S-ranks. And I know... I know, um. The active-duty shinobi who aren't ANBU. What else could most of the people here possibly be, but ANBU and ex-ANBU?" He frowned, mouthing the words again as though to check they made sense.
"When did you figure it out?" Kakashi asked, curiosity piqued once more.
"As soon as we walked in," Iruka-sensei said. He leaned close. "Between you and me, Kakashi-san, ANBU are... are pretty lousy at pretending to be not-ANBU."
Kakashi burst out laughing again.
"I think you're one of the only people who would say that," he said.
Iruka-sensei shrugged and smiled sheepishly.
"Goodness, I hope not," he said. "It's so obvious!"
Kakashi snickered.
"You should be in intel."
Iruka-sensei shuddered.
"Nooo thank you!" he said, and Kakashi could tell by the way the words stretched that Iruka-sensei was getting very tipsy, if not drunk. "Besides, I'd never get away with going undercover. I'm too...." He gestured vaguely at his own face, trying and failing to indicate the scar across his nose. Kakashi nevertheless got the point.
"What about henge?" Kakashi asked.
Iruka-sensei's eyes went wide.
"Oh, yeeeaaah!" he said, sounding surprised. "I could do that!"
Kakashi chuckled.
"Maybe not while you're drunk," he suggested. "How are you feeling?"
"Sleepy and affectionate," Iruka-sensei said with a sleepy smile. He lifted his drink and took another long swallow. "This stuff hits a little harder than beer."
Kakashi smiled wryly.
"They both have higher alcohol content than beer," he agreed. "Why don't you drink some more water?"
Iruka-sensei hummed acknowledgement and switched his glass for his water, taking a long drink.
"Mizuki always had the worst hangovers after we'd go out," Iruka-sensei said, contemplating his glass of water a little mournfully. "Do you think I'll have one tomorrow?"
"Hopefully not, if you keep drinking water," Kakashi said, taking a swig of his own. "You've never had one?"
Iruka-sensei bit his lip.
"I... don't think so?" he said uncertainly. "Never like Mizuki did."
"Then let's hope you never do," Kakashi said, raising his water glass in a silent "cheers" movement. He took another drink. "I've heard they're pretty awful."
Iruka-sensei looked up sharply.
"You've never had one?"
"No, thankfully," Kakashi said. "I make it a rule to drink twice as many glasses of water as alcoholic drinks, and I don't like to drink to get drunk, either. It's been enough to prevent a hangover thus far. Here's hoping it keeps." He shrugged. "Why? Did you think I'd judge you for never having had a hangover?" he joked.
Iruka-sensei paused, and his face darkened a little.
Kakashi set down his glass of water and carefully looked at Iruka-sensei's face.
"Iruka-sensei," he said seriously, "I'm not here to judge you. Not about whether you want to socialise or not, or whether you drink or not, or whether you've had a hangover or not. Those things aren't my business. They're not anybody's business."
Iruka-sensei made a face.
"What about for being a chūnin? A failure who went into teaching because I couldn't be a real shinobi?"
Kakashi grimaced.
"I know some people are elitist about ranks, but frankly, your rank tells someone literally only one thing, which is your rank. Naruto and Sasuke, when they were green genin, very nearly took down Momochi Zabuza, an S-rank missing-nin from the Bloody Mist, not to mention his apprentice Haku. Anyone who thinks rank is the end-all, be-all is a shortsighted fool. And as for being a real shinobi, you are one. If you weren't, there's no way you could have given your kids the tools to survive under a circumstance like the one that led to our fighting Zabuza and Haku."
He sighed.
"Look at it this way. We all have our skills and talents. Mine happen to be around killing the enemy. Some people are covert ops specialists. Some are torture and interrogation. But believe me when I say I cannot do covert ops well – and I definitely can't do honeypot missions." He made a face under his mask, remembering the one time he'd tried. It had... not gone well. "And I'd stab myself before trying to teach thirty pre-genin. You and I have different skill sets. That doesn't mean either of us is better or worse than the other."
Iruka-sensei looked up at Kakashi, big, brown eyes glassy.
"You don't have to say that," he said quietly.
"I'm not just saying it," Kakashi insisted.