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Naruto was born with laughter on his lips and tears in his eyes. He grew up with the knowledge of a future far too bleak, with blood in his hands and a hole in his chest. The smile painted on his face is almost jarringly similar to Sai but not quite so, because while Sai earned his mask through ignorance and manipulation, Naruto’s was by the wish of a woman he loved in his childhood and whom he treasured until death-- a comfort for her journey to the rest of their family and a comfort he uses for the new one he has now. 

Naruto’s family can never be replaced, but… he has a sister in this life—a woman called Mito, a name vaguely familiar (it reminds him of dusty rooms and green leaves passing by in the breeze) and though she can never replace what he lost, he loves her nonetheless. Mito is the only one he has now, and with the death of their mother and a newborn baby brother, he has nothing to offer her but his smiles and laughter. And he will deliver it, even if his laugh feels like sand in his throat and his smile is like a knife to his heart whenever he faces a mirror.

He doesn’t know why he was reborn, why he was given a new life with the burdensome knowledge of the future, and it worries him. Is he supposed to do something? Would he dare? How could he? The future was bleak, but it is his future. Could he risk his existence? What about Sasuke and Sakura? What about Hinata, Kakashi, Iruka, Tsunade, Jiraya, The Third, Sai, Yamato—

He knows the passage of time is fickle, and that a single beat of a butterfly could cause a storm somewhere in the space of time. He knows that his existence and knowledge have possibly already derailed his future, but what does that entail? Naruto blinked. No, maybe his future hasn’t changed. He hadn’t done much. But then again… there was no record of another Naruto in the Hokage archives containing all that lived in Konoha. Had he truly changed the future merely by existing? Would it be a future far worse than that he experienced? Should he do something of the problems that will cause so much heartbreak and death, and find a way to make it better? Kaguya, the war between the clans, Zetsu—

“Naruto?”

His inner musings were cut abruptly, his name uttered quietly by his sister with a tinge of worry that had him looking up from his bowl. Her frown made him cringe internally—he really ought to act his age, speak louder, move rambunctiously, act less subdued. But that fire had been doused by the winter of war and the death that follows gripping the flames of his heart until it extinguished without even a whisper. It was one thing to see his father figure stabbed through the heart, his teacher nothing but a mangled mess of rubble and blood, and Sai a pale corpse. It was another to have his wife bodily cover him and die, Sasuke sacrificing himself for Naruto and Sakura to receive a few months of living, and for Sakura to bleed out in his arms, her pink hair dyed red of blood and her skin a mesh of violent purple and faded green with a voice barely above a whisper as she asked for one last comfort that he had trouble giving because how could he do that when his best friend is bleeding through a hole in her stomach—

“The council asked for me today,” his sister announced, her voice loud in the silence of their home, “I… might come home late.”

He blinked, the memory fading as the image of his sister solidified. He quickly analyzed what she said. He was thankful when his mask remained on his face, his smile forever itched in his lips. Naruto nodded in understanding as he chirped, “I’ll cook us dinner then.”

But he knew from the way she stared at him that he said the wrong thing, and he cringed once more. Some ninja he was. Naruto was supposed to know how to act, how to behave, and how to not get caught in a lie— he's a ninja. He trained for this. But his sister who was barely fourteen, just eleven years older than him, technically a child, could see through the facade. Still, he must have done something right because his sister sighs, nods, and continued to eat. Naruto contemplates if he could still save his lie, if he could still act like a child. The idea was tossed aside as quickly as it came. He can’t play as loudly as he should, his mind too exhausted with the weight of his knowledge and his purpose in this life. And his sister barely makes any complaints about his personality, it should mean something, right?

Once breakfast was over and they had their plates cleaned, Mito stood at their patio, a hand on his head and the same worried eyes staring straight into his soul. Naruto wonders if all sisters could do that, or if only his Mito could.

“You can act childish, little brother,” her voice was almost a whisper, and Naruto is horrified at the feel of his mask cracking, “I will never forsake you, even if the entire clan will.”

…why couldn’t he had had Mito back in his first life? Why did fate give her to him when he was far too concerned of a future that could be gone but the possibility of it remaining shackling him into freezing indecisiveness and near apathy? He loves his sister, but not without fear. If he loved his sister too much, if he loved her the point of movement, to the point of doing, he would change the future as he knows it—

“I know,” he answers loudly in an attempt to distract himself, “but I gotta be mature. I’m the man of the house, I gotta protect you.” 

There, he settles. Naivety. A child who is both knowledgeable and ignorant of war, who believes he can protect his sister from the responsibility of a soldier. 

Mito smiles and ruffles his hair. He clasps at the warmth blooming in his heart, contains it in his tiny hands, and hopes that this would be enough, that he could love Mito without his future changing, as selfish as it is. A war-ravaged future is one he wants because as terrible as it is, it is where he meets his team and his wife, his family.

Naruto will love Mito quietly, love her from the sidelines and let fate run its course. He will let it run its course. 

But when his sister returns covered in red that isn’t her hair, with death in her lungs that had her struggling to breathe, Naruto finds his indecisiveness gone. He can’t continue living like this. His sister, his only solace in this life, will die. Surely… surely his family will understand. This is his life now. Hinata, Sasuke and Sakura are gone, Mito is the only one he has.

And so, with barely any sound, Naruto left the confines of his clan into the dangerous outside in search of the missing ingredient to his sister’s injury, laughter spilling from his lips as he handed them to the medical ninjas that praised him for his help but not without admonishment. He doesn’t care. His sister will live another day, ignorant of how she had killed the 7th Hokage so that her younger brother can live.

Naruto decided to play as the child she wanted him to be at the age of three, causing havoc and mischief with a practiced smile— Mito killed the 7th Hokage, she did. But his ghost lives on, he couldn’t quite bear to lose his smile. Not yet, not when he could still see Sakura in the dead of the night, a plea in her bloody lips.

He falls to his first life’s childhood routine. Pranking, stealing, lying—it came to him as easily as a knife slides through butter. Though this time, he finds it easier to change people’s tune. Perhaps it’s because Kurama doesn’t reside within him this time, perhaps his understanding of human nature is much more pronounced with the years of knowledge he had gathered. Either way, he finds himself smiling genuinely from time to time, amusement tickling his throat. 

But his endeavors don’t go unnoticed. His clan’s council had found it curious that he could prank even the most seasoned ninjas. He blames it on their comfort—how could they believe anyone from within their home, a family and a child, would ever do them any harm? But that reason is flakey at best and suspicious at worst, so Naruto made a show of training. He misses his targets in his first week, he makes a show of his frustrations by loudly proclaiming his incompetence and annoyance with fake smiles and sarcastic enthusiasm. Then he started to hit bullseye halfway through his second week, to show that he was a quick learner, that there is a reason for his success in his games.

It worked. He was declared a prodigy and was offered to be tutored by many skilled members of their clan. He accepts, and he learns and he grows. He is their gem. His clan loves him as much as their soldiers wish him bodily harm. Naruto doesn’t blame them; they are his practice dummies after all.

Mito looked happier; she smiles more these days which was a win in Naruto’s books. The council is satisfied with him, the clan finds him adorable as he socked a poor Uzumaki shinobi with a smoke bomb altered to contain the foulest odor he could conjure. A year of playing his lie and life seemed to settle down to Naruto.

Then Mito started missing more often, comes home later at night, and leaves earlier in the morning. Her eyes grew darker, the indents beneath them deeper, and worry follows her like a dark cloud. She holds him tighter in her sleep, and she follows him with eyes full of poorly hidden sadness. He only learned why when he spied on one of the council’s children. The whispers behind closed doors talk about sending soldiers to an ally down West— to show solidarity, to show kinship. Plans of sending a bride are hissed under hushed tones, wandering eyes follow him and his sister with barely concealed pity. But he knows they are relieved, knows that they are happy it is not their daughter, their sister being sent to become a bride to the next head of a clan fighting a war with the harbinger of hate.

Naruto’s head is flooded with memory. Mito is to be the bride of the next head of a clan fighting a war with the harbinger of hate, fighting a war with the Uchiha. And Naruto realizes why his sister’s name was familiar. She is Mito Senju nee Uzumaki, the first vessel of the Kyuubi—of Kurama, and loath might he admit, she is also one of the people that Kurama will hate the most.

He doesn’t mind. The future has already changed, he’s sure it had. He will follow Mito this time, he couldn’t remember if she had a brother, but he knows he didn’t follow her. There was no record. This time though, this time he will follow. And he’s already changed fate, maybe he could continue doing so. He could talk to Kurama, help him realize he could live fine with humans. Maybe he could help the Senju and Uchiha in solidifying their friendship so the hatred will die before it’s even planted, maybe he could find Zetsu and kill him before he whispers poison to Madara. Either way, he knows his sister will live a full life before dying of old age.

Naruto shook his head. What will happen will happen. All he needs to do is make sure his sister lives happily.

“No.” Naruto’s smile became somewhat cold, eyes sharpening at the old man who sat upon the head of the table like it’s a throne.

“What do you mean no?” he asks instead of cursing, forcing his voice to be free of anger. They can’t expect him to stay in the clan without his sister, the only one he truly loves with all his heart in this new world, can they?

“I mean no,” the old man says decisively, “you cannot join your sister and the other soldiers to the Senju. You are this clan’s pride and joy, and I plan to hone you to the best of my ability.”

His gaze pierces Naruto on the spot as he repeats the pride-filled proclamation of his clan— one that follows him back to his home with Mito, “you are this clan’s gem, Naruto,” his smile is a pathetic imitation of the Third, and Naruto finds his mask slipping as his hands, hidden behind his back, clench tightly to a fist, “and you will lead it to its full potential as its head when I come to pass.”

Naruto smiled, all sharp and full of intent, and nodded. He bows to his clan’s chief and hurries away. When night fell, he ruffles through forbidden papers and stabs the most damaging he could find to the head of the table—the spot where the old man sits like it’s a throne and sends a message. He knows the head will see it and no one else will.

When Mito comes home like she’s carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, betrayal tainting her voice as she announces that they were to leave West for the Senju, Naruto knows that he succeeded. 

There is frost in the old man’s eyes when he glanced at him on their way to the Senju, a sneer on his lips which he had immediately hidden with a cough as he bid them farewell. His sister’s hold on his hand is tight, and he could tell from the way she straightened herself that the old man has lost her love. Naruto made a noise that took her attention from their grandfather, the grandfather who was much too busy to care for his orphaned grandchildren. Mito sighed and picked him up, ignoring his outraged look as she bowed one last time to their Clan and started the trek to the Senju, a soft goodbye to their grandfather uttered with ice. Naruto knows from the way the old man barely said anything that he doesn’t understand what he had lost. He turned away from the place he called home for four years. But that wasn’t right, not quite.

His embrace on his older sister tightened considerably, Mito adjusting her hold to make him more comfortable. The clan wasn’t his home, Mito is.

So long as you’re still alive, my home still stands.

Naruto smiled. So that was what the bastard was going on about.

Your happiness brings me joy…

He hasn’t been happy for the three years he mourned his last life, stubborn and afraid and looking at the past that he couldn’t see his future. He couldn’t see that he could still be happy without his family. But he is not without family. He has Mito. Silently, he wonders if Sakura had been upset for those three years that he remained stubborn and fought off being happy.

It might be a little late, but I will be happy this time, Sakura. Believe it.