Influence

Adora’s perspective

"Adora!" Glimmer wrapped her arms around Adora first, teleporting beside her the second she could. Then Bow followed, running over to his best friends and the three of them stayed like that for a long time. Adora remained sitting on the cold street of Asan.

All of the hugs, in particular group hugs, Adora had taken part since moving to Bright Moon have taken a lot of adjusting to get used to. Adora had hugged people before but displays of affection of any kind are generally frowned upon in the Fright Zone. Catra wasn’t a very cuddly person but she was a very jealous person. So she rarely hugged Adora but would react badly if Adora found that affection from someone else.

“I’m so glad you are okay.” Adora whispered through Glimmer’s hair.

“Us too.” Bow said as the three of them finally break from the hug.

Glimmer teleported the three of them back to Bright Moon. Before Adora could protest the entire Best friends Squad was in Adora's room and Glimmer was cornering her to ask what was going on.

"Adora, we love you but this is now affecting everybody so I am very sorry but you are now no longer allowed the privilege of keeping this from us."

"I don't know what you mean, Glimmer. What are you saying?"

Adora knew, how could she not be aware? But what could she possibly tell Glimmer. No amount of hurt on her behalf could excuse her putting her friends in danger. But at the same time keeping it from them was equally selfish. The only way forward was the truth, they deserved the truth.

"Adora." Glimmer said so sternly it immediately reminded Adora of Angella, which was a freaky thought. "What the hell is going on between you and Catra. Me and Bow need to know. "

“I also refuse to let you excuse your way out of this. Because one second me and Glimmer were tied up and about to be taken to the Fright Zone. Then we were let go, on Catra's orders, so now we need the whole story. Because that is not typical behaviour and something is clearly up with you to so you need to tell us what is going on.”

“Okay, fine, you are right I need to tell you guys and I am sorry for keeping all of this from you, I just didn't know how to bring it up.”

"Hey, Dora it's fine, don't worry about it just tell us now and all will be forgiven we promise. " Glimmer hugged Adora again and Bow joined in wrapping himself around his two best friends.

"Yeah, it's fine for you to have your secrets, we are not entitled to how you feel or anything..." Bow continued until Glimmer gave him a sharp glare and he changed his words a bit. "But that said if it affects us and the war we do need to know."

"I know, I didn't know that this, whatever this is between me and Catra would end up effecting you because I would never had kept it from you if I had known." Adora paused taking in a deep breathe before beginning to explain what had happened two weeks ago to her best friends."So during the battle where I got captured the soldiers brought me back to the Horde, when I got here they brought me to Catra. Catra brought me to her office and I realised that she was a little drunk. I supposed I should state that I think I am in love with Catra. I think I maybe have been this entire time. I... the thing is I was young and unaware of the world and love and relationships when I left the Horde. All i knew back then is that things were different between me and Catra than how I left about Kyle or Lonnie. I was still young so I just assumed that I felt closer to Catra because she was my best friend. But meeting you two and you becoming my best friends I realised after a lot of romance and educational books in Bright Moon library that I didn't just love Catra because she was my closest friend. I loved her because I was... because I am in love with her."

Glimmer clapped excited and Bow smiled.

"We knew, but we are very glad that you realised, any way continue with the story, Catra was drunk…"

"Wait, you knew." Adora asked dumbfounded. Adora had personally though that she was able to keep her feelings for Catra under wraps and also she barely talked about her how would they know.

"Yes, yes don't worry about it. The important thing is that you know, so… did you tell her?"

"I'm getting to that. So when Catra brought me back to her office she pushed me down onto her chair and I noticed that something was up with Catra. Normally she would tease me and fight and argue excetra and that is what we were doing but there was a different edge to it and I don't know if it was because she feels the same or because she was just drunk and I happened to just be there but something happened between us. She was being really flirty and teasing me but in like a sexy way. And then she ripped my top off."

“Woah, woah. She did what?!” Bow said eyes wide and startled, whilst Glimmer was on the edge of her seat like she was watching the most thrilling movie.

“Bow, don’t interupt it was getting good.”

“Glimmer! Don’t be a pervert.”

“I’m not a pervert you are just a prude-”

“Stop, both of you. Don’t worry Bow it doesn’t get worse. So we were talking about and she ripped my shirt open and yes I did want her to. You don’t have to look so scandalised and you don’t have to look so happy. So after that happened she got really close to me and asked me if i want to do this? I said yes and then she kissed me.”

“Hell yeah! Attagirl Adora, get your girl.” Glimmer held her hand to fist bump Adora. Adora looked up with pain in her eyes and Glimmer dropped her hand.

“What happened then?” Bow asked sensing Adora’s hesitation.

“As soon as she stopped kissing me it was like she was a completely different person. She said that she couldn’t believe I fell for her tricks. She said that I should leave because it’s all I’m good at and…” Adora blinked through the tears that fell heavily onto her lap. “She’ll never want me.”

Wordlessly the best friends squad embraced Adora as she couldn’t help but crumble under the power of their love and kindness. Bow and Glimmer were the light in the darkness for Adora and they always had been. They loved her freely in a way that Adora had never experienced, friendship in the Horde was stifled under the glare of Shadow Weaver and the pressure of being a solider. Her and Catra’s friendship was full of subtext and implications, encoded inside jokes and series of hand signals. Although love would grow in any circumstance, with the right conditions it flourished.

That’s what Bow and Glimmer’s love and friendship was, it gave her the right conditions, both to love them and herself for the first time in her life. The flourishing budding love for Catra that Adora held in her heart was equally able to emerge because she was in Bright Moon and not the Horde. Perhaps that was why Catra told her she would never love her, because Catra was still stifled under the Horde.

“It’s the Horde. Catra is left alone. I left her alone…” Adora dropped her head into her hands. “Shadow Weaver only stopped herself from hurting Catra because I liked Catra. Even then I couldn’t always stop her… And now I’m not there. I know we have Shadow Weaver but even then the Horde breeds malice.”

“Adora, this isn’t fair to you.” Glimmer began. “Catra-”

“Glimmer. Stop.” Bow glared at Glimmer sternly.

“No, Bow she needs to hear this.” Glimmer glared at her best friend before turning to Adora. “Catra is not your responsibility, Adora. I know you care about her and I know that I don’t know how bad the Horde was. But Catra had had every opportunity to defect with you. You never chose to leave Catra. You choose to leave the Horde and she choose to stay. You are not at fault for Catra’s choices nor for the consequences of them. I know you love her and I know you will never stop trying to save her. But you can’t blame yourself.”

"Thank you Glimmer." Adora smiled. "I wish I could be there for her, though. I have you guys and Catra... the only person she ever trusted was me. She doesn't open up to people, even when she was young she always found it difficult to make friends. I know that I would be more at ease and happier to know that she had friends and people who cared about her to advise her. But Catra doesn't think she needs anyone. I'm just worried about her."

"I know you are Adora. And so are we. I know we are fighting her but if she is important to you then she is important to us. Because you are important to us." Bow said, getting a smile out of Adora. "We were able to get through to you. We will convince her. Okay?"

"Okay." Adora grabbed Bow and Glimmer into a bear hug. "I love you guys."

"I have one question more though." Glimmer asked.

“Glim-”

“It’s okay Bow.”

“Why did she release us?”

“Oh, yeah, I didn’t even get to today did I?” Adora chuckled lightly. “So I heard a suspicious sound coming from behind me and I turned around to see what it was. Then when I turned back around to see what was going on and you guys had disappeared. I began looking for you and eventually i got to the centre of Asan where Catra was standing in the middle of the square. I though she was a stranger but when I approached her she jumped on me. I never stood a chance really.” Adora let out a self depreciating chuckle. “We talked, she said she was there for Glimmer, they wanted to trade you for Angella. So I asked her why she hadn’t left if she had got what she wanted and then her voice got all soft and she said that she wanted to see me…”

Adora’s voice trailed off wistfully. She could never understand what Catra wanted from her. Which was it? Did she not want Adora or did she plan whole missions around the hope of seeing Adora again? It couldn’t possibly both. Catra had her head all messed up with her mixed messages. Maybe that was Catra’s real intention, she wanted Adora to never be sure if Catra liked her, keep her perpetually guessing so she would never be able to get over Catra. Well if that was her goal, she was damn well succeeding.

“I told her I wasn’t there for her. I didn’t want to get hurt again. Then she did a complete one eighty and said she wanted Shadaow Weaver. I just don’t get it. Shadow Weaver was our mother of sorts and I guess she will always be something to both of us but she was terrible. She tortured Catra and made my feel like it was my fault that she did it. Because I wasn’t perfect enough. She messed us both up badly, yet she was more important to Catra than me. I didn’t… I don’t understand.”

“Your relationship with Catra is so closely tied with both of your relationship with Shadow Weaver. It can’t be easy for either you to disentagle yourselves from either each other or her.” Bow’s hand squeezed her shoulder and Glimmer gently dabbed away the tears that Adora didn’t even know were rolling down her cheeks.

Adora knew she still had a lot to unpack when it came to her childhood. Shadow Weaver, being a child solider, Catra… they were all things that Adora had brought up with Perfuma multiple times in their talks (therapy sessions) but it was still difficult for Adora to deal with. Even Light Hope making Adora kill Catra was something that had messed Adora up majorly. Catra didn’t have Perfuma or Bow or Glimmer. She couldn’t talk to anyone about Shadow Weaver or any of her issues that were similar but not at all the same as Adora’s. Adora knew because she was now here and out of the Fright Zone that the Horde and her childhood had given a lot of trauma that she needed to unpack. But Catra was still there, still actively in the bad situation, unaware of the damage it was doing to her mind.

“Yeah. Anyway, I asked her to explain and she said that it was my fault. For leaving her. It hit me that none of the fighting me and Catra have engaged in has been anything to do with morals or values that separate the Princesses from the Horde. It’s personal, she hates me for leaving her and I’m annoyed she won’t come with me. All this time she’s just been hurt and angry. That’s why she gave you guys back, because she thinks I replaced her with you guys. She never liked when I had other friends. You two were pawns in her plan to get back at me.”

“Damn Adora.” Glimmer muttered.

“Yeah, First One. That’s alot…” Bow cursed.

“I’m sorry I won’t put you in danger again.” Adora promised.

“No Adora. It’s not that. This is war, you didn’t put us in danger, we always were in danger. I guess we just never understood how complicated you and Catra’s relationship was.”

“Yeah this runs deep between her and you Adora.”

“I know… I’m in trouble aren’t I?” Adora chuckled before being pulled into the umpteenth hug that day and relaxing in her friends arms.

Adora knew she would be okay. Bow and Glimmer were there for her and she had plenty of people who cared for her. She was safe and happy, no matter what happened with Catra she knew she could rely on Glimmer and Bow. She just wished she could be sure that Catra had the same…