
What Else Did Naruto Find In The Fūin no Sho?
"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu? Crap, another Bunshin... I suck using them..."
Naruto had stolen the Fūin no Sho from the Hokage Tower, on the mission he didn't know was a ruse by Mizuki. Of course, being gullible, he accepted it hoping to become a ninja of the village. However, in the ten minutes since the scroll had been stolen, he was far away from Konoha. In fact, he was in a forest five miles away. So he was going to have plenty of time to find a jutsu to learn in order to graduate...
What a baka...
"Huh, what's this?"
He had skipped past five different jutsu that all detailed various Bunshin, to one that caught his eye. The name of the jutsu was called Chokuchō Datsu no Jutsu (Rectal Prolapse Technique).
"Deadly jutsu involving a beam of chakra striking a target's butthole and causing a gastric spasm, and is also known in certain dark circles as Caribbean Drain-O..."
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In another universe, Hermes Conrad of the Planet Express Delivery Company in New New York stops working for a moment. Looking around his room, and not sensing any form of disturbance in the Bureaucratic Force (or hearing something that would bring them into yet another form of misadventure), he resumes his Bureaucratic duties.
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"Cool, but disgusting..."
He tears it out of the scroll and pockets it away for later use.
"Souseijikan no Jutsu (Twincest Technique): a jutsu created by The Terror Twosome Mikoto and Kushina, and is a child jutsu to Oiroke no Jutsu (Sexy Technique)?" Naruto tears this one out the scroll and pockets it.
"I so am going to use that... kukukuku..."
Somewhere in the world, Orochimaru sneezed at the same time he choked/coughed upon hearing from Deidara he was kicked out of the Akatsuki due to always bringing little naked boys to headquarters, being a pedophile, and overall was booted out due to Itachi finding his rather disturbing shrine to Sasuke in the bedroom closet... of course the reason for his sneezing was someone used his trademark evil bad guy catchphrase.
Naruto's face slowly turned a healthy shade of red upon reading what the next jutsu on the scroll held and the details of the jutsu's effect. What poor Naruto didn't know was Hinata holds knowledge of this "forbidden jutsu" that is also nicknamed Futanari no Jutsu... yeah... moving on!
Four hours later... various jutsus he tore out to keep and fold away (Mokuton, a weapon he found sealed in it which was a bladeless tantō that channels a person's chakra to form the "blade", to various forbidden Taijutsu moves, and one Genjutsu called Yaoi Yaoi Icha - for female users only), others sounded boring and uninteresting ("Why would I need to learn how to walk trees when I can climb them?"), and few sounded too complicated for him to understand (He found something based on the Hiraishin but the complicated words made him move on), before he finally decided to move back to the beginning.
He took out the jutsu description he stole from the scroll for the Twincest technique, and blinks. REQUIRES KAGE BUNSHIN it reads near the bottom.
"This requires that Bunshin crap? Damn it!" he exclaims.
With a grunt, he unrolls back to the Kage Bunshin and decides to learn how to make it work. History goes on as planned, except the confrontation happened outside the village. Naruto is still Genin at the end, Mizuki is in prison, Iruka lives, and a different Naruto was set free upon the world with his stolen knowledge from the Fūin no Sho...