Naruto was getting married. He got what he wanted. Admiration from the village, a person who truly understood his feelings, and a lover who loved him for being him. The thing, or person, he has been trying to pursue has finally come back to him. But did he? It felt like everything was half-assed. He came back, but he didn't stay. That didn't matter anymore, since he found something, or someone, to be appreciative of.
On the day of the wedding, everyone was ecstatic. Naruto was the happiest. Even people from afar could feel that energy. A certain person could feel that energy, and he hated it. Sasuke watched from afar. When you see people smile, it makes you want to smile. This was different for Sasuke. He wanted Naruto to feel remorse, to make him feel bad. He was the reason he didn't stay. Sasuke didn't want to see Naruto every day and get that tightening feeling in his heart.
If anything, Sasuke was the one feeling guilty that day. Of course, it would be difficult to love someone who hasn't shown any kind of love towards you. He understood Naruto's point of view. Sasuke didn't stay, and he didn't plan to. If he confesses right now and gets the answer he hopes for, he'll stay.
Sasuke's thoughts were interrupted by church bells. All that thinking distracted him from reaching his final goal. He was a man who chased his dreams, but he didn't think of it as a dream because he knew he would make it a reality.
He looked into the windows of the church. He felt a wave of relief when he realized that it was just to test the sound of the bell. He ran to the entrance of the church when he saw Shikamaru. Before Shikamaru could say something, Sasuke immediately asked where Naruto was. After getting his answer, he ran to the little building behind the church.
When he got there, he knocked on the door. He could hear shuffling and items falling to the floor. What else would he expect when he knew a blond idiot was behind the door?
"Shikamaru, it isn't even time to go yet!" the blond yelled when opening the door. Naruto was surprised to find Sasuke looking at him.
"Sasuke. You're here," said the blond. He gestured Sasuke to come in, and then later shut the door behind them.
"Are you here to stay?" Naruto asked.
"If I stay, will you love me?"
"What? I do love you."
"Love in a friendly type of way?"
"Yes, what else would it be?"
"Love as in a partner-partner relationship."
"No. I can't love you like that anymore. Not after how you left, not after how you never said a word, not after how you promised to stay but didn't."
"But I loved you for so long. Never once did you leave my thoughts or my heart."
"IF YOU DID LOVE ME, WHY DIDN'T YOU STAY?! WE COULD HAVE FIGURED THIS OUT TOGETHER! WE COULD HAVE HAD A RELATIONSHIP AND GOTTEN MARRIED!"
"Because I loved you too much it hurt to see you. It hurt to think that you would never love me." Sasuke was tempted to yell back, but couldn't.
"As I said, we could have worked it out." Naruto calmed down after he saw the scared expression on Sasuke's face.
"But how was I supposed to know you loved me back? Do you know how many times I've seen you fangirl over Sakura? Just by seeing that, I assumed you would have feelings for girls and girls only."
"I have 20 minutes left to talk. Anything you say would never change my mind. No kiss will change my mind. No touch will change my mind. I deserve someone who is the exact opposite as you. Someone who stayed by my side, even though they had a feeling I would never fall for them. You chased your brother around so much, I saw you as a person who would never give up. Yet you gave up on me." Naruto was so painfully correct. Sasuke was a man of his word. Naruto was his goal, but it was one of the goals that he threw away.
Ever since they were 12, Sasuke was an over achiever. He never gave up and he always trained in order to reach the goal that he wanted to achieve the most. But why not now? Why wasn't Sasuke committed in his promise to Naruto?
To Naruto, Sasuke seemed out of character. He didn't even try at this moment to steal Naruto's heart. Naruto did tell Sasuke nothing was gonna change his mind, but it would be nice if he put in some effort. Naruto's statement was true though. He already made a promise to Hinata and he wasn't going to hurt her. It felt so out of place to not see Sasuke step over the boundaries and go after things he really wanted. But it was unfair that if Sasuke were to kiss him, he would still say no. He was expecting for him to go all out, just to reject him.
The room was silent. Ten minutes were left on the clock and none of them said a word. Sasuke sat down on the little couch in the room. Naruto sat next to him and took one of Sasuke's hands into his.
Sasuke wasn't prepared for this action. But he didn't feel happiness. He felt the ache in his chest growing because he knew what the answer was going to be. No words, just 5 minutes of intense hand holding, which also meant 5 minutes left of this precious moment.
"Naruto," Sasuke started. "I won't stay here, just to let you know. I love you too much to see you with another person. It hurts my heart now, and it will hurt my heart forever. I have never wanted to live this long until I met you." Sasuke didn't stop the tears from falling out. He didn't bawl, but he let the tears fall out smoothly.
"I'll allow you one kiss, but I hope it isn't a farewell kiss. I want you to stay here, but you don't even have to come out of your house. I'll even call you to let you know when I'm out with Hinata, so we don't have to cross paths. I'm still marrying her, and I don't want her to feel like it's her fault you aren't in the village anymore. Please stay, don't make me regret this kiss. Don't make me regret this friendship."
Sasuke gave it deep thought. He wanted to leave because of the chances of going into a deep depression was really high. He settled on it, he was leaving. He was never going to show his face at all, not to Naruto, not to anyone.
Sasuke took a deep breath and kissed Naruto on the lips. The kiss was slow and romantic. It seemed like a nice moment until Sasuke cried into Naruto's mouth. Sasuke pulled away and said his final words.
"I love you and now I'm letting you go. I'm leaving this village. Don't send yourself or anyone else to find me. I really love you but I do not want to be associated with you or this village. I want to live my life, not stay in some apartment all day just because my best friend wants me to."
And with those final words Sasuke left. He walked past Shikamaru. He heard Shikamaru tell Naruto the ceremony was about to start. Sasuke walked and cried at the same time. He didn't want to leave Naruto, but he didn't want to stay with him as a "friend".
Naruto wasn't sad because he wouldn't have Sasuke, he was sad because he couldn't keep him here. Naruto looked back at Sasuke with teary eyes. Sasuke looked blurry, which just made it seem more heartbreaking to Naruto. Sasuke getting blurrier by the second and straying away, symbolizing that Sasuke would just be a memory and no longer a person who is still with him. His teary eyes were perfect for when he saw Hinata walk down the aisle. Boy, what realistic tears for the wrong reason.
Sasuke finally made it far away enough from the village. He was crouched under a tree still letting tears fall onto his clothes. A leaf fell from the tree and landed in his lap. He picks it up and examines it. A nice leaf to remind him of the Leaf Village and its inhabitants. The greatest memory of that village was the ones where he and Naruto were together. As final closure, he let go of the leaf. The leaf leaving his fingers represented him letting go of Naruto and the village. That was it, anything that made him think of Naruto were just objects. None of those things will be associated with memories.
As for Naruto, he had chosen to let go of Sasuke. If Sasuke was letting go of Naruto, Naruto should let go of Sasuke. Typical Naruto, doing whatever Sasuke did. Sasuke was his greatest influence and his greatest motivation. But how could he ever forget Sasuke? He was on his mind 24/7 many years ago, it seems difficult to let go of something apart of his daily routine. Thinking about Sasuke was a habit he could never let go of. He could acknowledge getting rid of it, but he never pulled through.
The wedding went by quickly and so did the reception. Naruto put on his best face the whole day. "Tears of happiness" was used as an excuse in order to cover up the red eyes. "Kissing for too long" was used to cover up the scratchy throat. He still focused on Hinata the whole time, but never once did he forget about Sasuke.
Years passed and Sasuke was known as a "missing shinobi". Guess who labeled him as that? Naruto did. Sasuke wasn't doing as well as he expected. He was cold towards those who wanted to help him. He wanted to assign himself his own missions. Missions that could beat the living shit out of him. He was really strong but he wanted to hurt himself on purpose. He wanted to show up just to ask the opposer to kill him. He wasn't doing so well mentally, focusing on the subject of hurting himself.
He still wanted Naruto to be hurt from all the trouble he caused him. He wanted Naruto to regret saying those words that day. How could Naruto think he could make all the decisions for Sasuke? Sasuke wasn't going to stay in his house all day waiting for a signal. He never had a chance to rest fully.
Sasuke stopped under a tree and started to write his farewells to the world. He just couldn't take the pressure and the hurt anymore. He felt like pouring his whole heart into this letter. Sasuke was too mentally drained and he didn't want anyone to talk or refer to him.
Sasuke's Letter
Dear hateful world,
I feel unappreciated by anyone who walks or talks to me. You decided it was time for me to leave this earth. I really thought you gifted me with someone who was an absolute joy to have in my life, but you just wanted to take that away from me too. In order for me to pay you back, I will never rest my feet or my body on this earthly ground. The last time my body will touch this ground is when I decay into the soils. If Naruto does get his hands on this, I hope he reads it. Naruto, you have never given up on me. I was surprised but also not surprised when you said no to me. I understood your main reason as to why you said that. I hated the way you ran after me, but I also adored it. But you don't understand the emotional hardships you've put me through. We both left each other, but at least you have someone. I wasn't planning on settling down with some rando. I was planning on settling down with you. I can't put all the blame on you though. If I just stayed and if I just grew some balls, you would love me the way I love you. I hate you Naruto Uzumaki. I don't want you to love me anymore, so please let me go. I don't want you to think of me at all. I don't want you to cry over me. I don't want anything to do with you and that's why I'm going to leave you for good. In fact, I want you to hate me and resent me. I want you to blame me for all your problems. I want you to erase me from your memories and from your heart. I loved you so much, that I hate you more than I loved you. I'm last going to be seen in the part of the forest where we practiced chakra control.
- Sasuke
Sasuke let the note go, making sure he threw it to the direction of the leaf village. It was now time for his final mission. He made sure to call an assassin to kill him. He made it, and he calmed his breathing.
"Goodbye." was Sasuke's last word. Sasuke was killed, it was the perfect suicide mission.
Naruto got the note, but chose to ignore it. He followed Sasuke's directions. He thought he was going to make it, but he couldn't help but find Sasuke.
Once he found him, he cried silent but hurtful cries. Cries full of emotion and the temptation to lie down next to him and slowly decay with him.
Sasuke cried with him. He was dead, but those last few tears in those last few minutes were just welled up in his eyes. Naruto was positive that he wanted to decay, but that isn't what Sasuke would have wanted.