Let's Talk To Each Other
Kakashi and Tiān'é walked home in silence. After the first night of training, He wasn't able to learn anything from the girl, and she, at the same time, wasn't able to learn enough about the Shinobi path. She only had been standing steel in front of the wooden dummy in a weird position, making weird dancing movements with her arms against the sticks on the figure, clumsily bumping into them because they always stood between her and her actions.
Kakashi was absurdly upset about the dancer's feet like he had never seen the horrors of war, missions and mutilated bodies around him. However, in this new reality, which he was obliged to be immersed in against his will, in which he didn't know if he was in or out, it upset him too much. Why? There wasn't a why. Around him, things used to be pretty easy: most of the shinobis he knew had been born to be shinobis. They weren't put there at the age of twenty-something just because, so he realized that Tiān'é's feet were only the symbol of his discomfort. What was upsetting him was the fact that the times were changing, and he wasn't ready for it.
Until that last mission, Kakashi had the feeling that though terrible, dark, and lonely as his life could be, no matter how bloody, violent and cold, as long as he was able to deliver whatever he was asked to, left behind or protect, that life was still his. He had his present and his past, and that was the only thing that mattered to him at the moment. He fought to protect his present and himself from it, and he visited his friend to not forget how much it hurt, how much he had done, and how he would never forgive. The rest about being a Shinobi was like a game, and the rules were clear. It was like signing a contract with the devil: in exchange for who one was in body and soul, a service would be provided to the village and to whoever needed it without looking at the consequences.
But at that moment, walking home in silence, Kakashi's head was working as never before. The Sandaime had given him a task which at the moment, so far, he was convinced it was going to be impossible. First, entering the shinobi life is not easy, much less being almost a full-grown adult. Second, yes, Tiān'é had some talent, but turning all that talent into a fighting skill wasn't the most straightforward thing to do, and third, he was far from being a teacher or instructor. Of course, he had men at his orders, he kind of instructed them in Anbu a guide them through, but most of them, as he did too, had gone to the academy first, so he didn't see how he could be helpful. No matter what the Sandaime said at his office, it was an impossible task for him.
Just as a repeated scene, Kakashi and Tiān'é arrived at the building without notice. At least not him, and this time it was her who opened the door and let Kakashi go in first. For Tiān'é, he was unreadable.
"I guess I'll see you tomorrow", she spoke for the first time since they started walking.
"I guess." Kakashi answered softly, lifting his shoulders like a kid would.
"You don't speak much, don't you, Kakashi Sensei?" she was trying to gain some courage, narrowing her eyes.
"I told you not to..." Kakashi spoke between teeth behind his mask, lifting his index finger.
"Catch you!" Kakashi wrinkled his nose, and his visible eye became dangerous. Tiān'é wasn't feeling so sure anymore.
"Ok then..." Kakashi turned, lifting his shoulders again and turning on his heels, going to the stairs.
"Hey! Kakashi..." Tiān'é called again. He stopped with annoyance without turning, "I was wondering..." she played with her keys, "Wouldyouliketohavesomedinneratmyplace? There, she said it all at once.
"I'm sorry, what?" He had to ask. He understood, but he had to ask. If she wanted to be a Kunoichi capable of doing what he didn't want to think about, she should be able at least to invite him over dinner. He heard the sigh she let go.
"I was wondering..." she started again, "if..." it was so painfully slow "if you would like to have some dinner at my place." There it was, good girl.
"Oh..." Kakashi said, turning again, facing her, hands in his pockets, "Why?"
"Well..." there it was, the stuttering again, "because...because I have a lot of food and it could be nice."
"Nice... How so?" He was being particularly insufferable. He didn't want to say yes, but he didn't want to say no either, so he was looking for the answers he couldn't find in himself on herself.
"I don't know, ok?" now she was frustrated. "We barely know each other, so maybe that's why it could be nice." Her face was so red, and she was so flustered.
"Ok." he simply said, "after you." and he let himself be guided into the girl's apartment.
Tiān'é excused herself and went straight to the bathroom to get changed. Kakashi was left there taking his time in observing the apartment; it was almost like his. Same space, same distribution, same light, they seemed twin apartments. Kakashi didn't remember when was that he had moved there, but when he arrived, the apartment was almost empty. It didn't change much since then. He only added a bigger bed, wardrobe and library, a plant and a photograph in which the only one alive was him, and even he couldn't really say for how long. Everything was quite the same, but the atmosphere was different. He wondered if this was because of the other tenants or the girl who had been there only for almost 24 hours.
The climate was fresh, clean and there was no darkness on it. The curtains were fully open, and the smell of the sun and summer fragrance was still in the air; he wished that for himself, but he knew that that was impossible. He observed the furniture: simple, neat, just the necessary. A centre table, three chairs, a corner couch, and a full kitchen. He didn't have a full kitchen. He took a peep at the room, breaking some kind of unexistence moral boundary, and it looked awfully comfortable, pleasant and welcoming.
"The Sandaime made all the arrangements", Tiān'é spoke with her head in the refrigerator, Kakashi wanting to punish himself for letting be caught snooping around. "The furniture, everything. He said the company made a good deal with me" she finished putting the already cooked food on the counter.
"The company?" Kakashi asked, full of questions standing next to her in her beautiful kitchen.
"He didn't tell you?" The scare kitten from before seemed more relaxed and confident in her house, and it was as if the security and the privacy of four walls freed her and made her too much more talkative. If only she knew that probably the outside would be surrounded by Anbu agents.
"He doesn't need to tell me everything when he requests missions", Kakashi answered. He wasn't in the position of revealing anything.
"The Hokage paid to the Balle Company for letting me go," so the Sandaime had a soft spot for her after all, Kakashi thought in disgust, "He told them that I could be more useful for Konoha as a Kunoichi than as one of their many broken dancers." He wasn't understanding.
"Broken?" Kakashi asked, looking at her from toes to head.
"I'm getting old, Kakashi, the youngers are coming, and I'm not going to be able to be a prima ballerina for much longer." She explained the situation as if Kakashi were used to speaking with dancers every day, "once I can't dance anymore, they will leave me as a replacement", she said with a sad smile. "And when replacement will not be an option either, as an orphan, they will send me to the streets, which is where I will end my days: on the streets or in a tea house, where they serve anything but tea." Tiān'é finished her explanation coldly and rationally without pain or guilt, putting the already hot food on the table. Kakashi had already lost his appetite again.
"You do know that Hiruzen is buying you to do more or less what is done in the tea house, right?" He didn't even know where to start to believe the situation in which he was right now. He respected the Hokage, but now he was feeling less confident about everything that was surrounding him. Would Minato Sensei act the same? "You are not only going to be a sex tool but a weapon too. Do you have the stomach for that?" Why did he care?
"Do you?" Tiān'é bluntly asked.
When he didn't answer, it was decided that it was better to eat and eat dinner as peacefully as possible.
"So..." Tiān'é began, playing with her chopsticks, "what's your story?"
"I don't have a story." Kakashi said.
"Everybody has a story." She pressed.
"You know what? I prefer you shy, timid and silent. Where did the girl from earlier go?" Kakashi asked, letting his head fall back.
"It's just..."Tiān'é recoiled, "I feel safe here, like nobody can listen to me".
"If you only knew..." Kakashi let go.
"What?"
"Nothing, What do you want to know?" He changed the topic.
"Parrent?" She fired
"Dead
"Siblings?"
"Only child"
"Grandparents, aunts, uncles?"
"Dead, and probably none."
"Friends?"
"Dead"
"Sensei?"
"Dead"
"Those three from the bar?"
"Colleagues"
"Lovers?"
"Single"
"Men or women?"
"Women but..."
"That hidden eye?"
"Something that with a bit of luck you will never have to know about", Kakashi finished. Geez, it was exhausting. He had talked about himself in one minute more than what he had done in his entire life.
"Wow..." Tiān'é spoke after long, long minutes; half of the persons in Kakashi's life were dead or not even close enough; he was a very lonely person and full of a dark, lost heavy aura. Being Kakashi should be really hard.
"Well, yes, wow", Kakashi chuckled ironically. "I better go, see you tomorrow at nine."
And just like that, he poofed away with his chest painfully oppressed and full of doubt. Tomorrow with no delay, he would pay the Sandaime a visit.