Chapter 3
He hated the feeling of scrutiny and judgment from his uncle’s cold gaze.
It was as if there was always an invisible magnifying glass on the back of his head to expose every mistake he had made in his life; any flaw he had.
Finals week for the Spring was approaching at an alarming rate, sending tremors of fear and dizziness within Neji whenever he thought about it too long. If he went at it for long enough, unfortunately, the only thoughts surrounding his school career would be negative and usually spiral him into a panic.
A kind of panic and vulnerability he felt he had to keep to himself.
That was what he thought, until meeting (Y/N).
After befriending the fellow college student, Neji found himself more and more in her company. Her gentle smile would greet him with his morning coffee when he arrived on campus, behind his computer monitor as he studied, or before his plate of food when she joined him for lunch at the cafe.
Her laugh was all around him. In his ear, right beside him, and even in his dreams.
Three times exactly, as he counted to date.
In turn, the generally standoff-ish man became a little less standoff-ish. Especially in (Y/N’s) company.
Neji began to actively search for his new friend. Like when they had first met, it was common to find (Y/N) curled up in a chair with a book in the library or by the coffee shop on campus, coffee or tea always at her side. Spending time with (Y/N) meant spending more time with Hinata, despite literally living in the same house as her.
A part of him felt a little bad for not even taking some time out of his day to spend with his cousin, one of the kindest people he knew, a person going through the same stresses and struggles as he.
But he didn’t feel as bad seeing how happy Hinata was just from his presence since he started spending more time with her and (Y/N). Her forgiveness and compassion were qualities that he didn’t see in everyone.
The sun was already descending behind the mountains to make way for the moon, blanketing the sky with a mesmerizing mixture of color, when Neji and Hinata left campus for home.
It had been a prolonged day of studying, with few breaks in between. Even after drinking almost dangerous amounts of coffee along with fruitless attempts at a proper sleep schedule, Neji could feel the exhaustion of the semester weigh down on his shoulders, drooping his pale eyes and plastering a resting scowl on his lips. Hinata was no better at this point, struggling herself with finals and feeling drowned in work and study. Her pale skin accentuated the dark bags under her eyes from bad sleep and crying, and her thin brows always seemed to be knit together in a somber expression.
Neji even saw the effects of finals stress take a toll on (Y/N), usually so bubbly, happy, and kind.
The man couldn’t fight the feeling of helplessness in his heart when he saw her cry for the first time.
It was after she missed an assignment she thought was due the following day. It pained him so much to see someone who had been so kind to him crumble and be torn apart. He was silent at that time, as Hinata rushed to her side to embrace her, whispering comforting words in her ear.
Neji wouldn’t have admitted this, but he wanted to be comforting (Y/N); not Hinata.
While others may find it silly to get emotional over something like missing an assignment, Neji knew how detrimental missing just one assignment can be to a grade in a college class. Not only can it lead to a spiral of missing assignments and work, but it can also destroy someone's mental health.
Before, he would’ve scoffed if he saw someone crying over something like that.
But he wasn’t naive anymore. He knew better, and a part of him felt like crying with her.
As he and Hinata approached the elevated porch of their shared home, the pair both stopped some feet away from the front door.
Hinata heard her cousin let out a long, tired sigh.
“Forgive me…I just need a sec before I have to deal with uncle Hiashi.” He said, the scowl on his face deepening.
There was a pause before the smaller Hyuuga heard Neji apologize again.
Hinata offered her cousin a soft giggle.
“Don’t worry about it, I understand. Father has been…he’s been pretty bad lately. I think he’s being pushier since we both have a year left in school after this semester is over.” The woman explained, stepping up to the porch to find a seat on the outdoor sofa that stood against the house. Neji followed, feeling the ache in his feet as his cousin sat.
“He has been pretty irritable too. Sometimes it’s just too much.” Neji commented as he sat beside his cousin. With another sigh, the man hunched forward, resting his elbows on his thighs as he buried his face in his hands. His silky hair, half-done up in a loose bun fell against his shoulder like a veil.
Hinata gazed at her cousin’s side with an understanding expression. Her hands were fidgety as she rested them on her lap.
“You know I like that you’ve become more open with your feelings, Neji. You’re definitely not the closed-off little boy I grew up with.”
“Thanks, but where are you going with this? I can practically hear it in your tone.” The man replied, his voice muffled as he kept his face covered in his hands. He really was not in a healthy state to handle any of uncle Hiashi’s moods which were more and more prominent as of late.
Hinata made a noise that was close to a yelp, and as the man beside her peeked at her through the gap between his fingers he could see the embarrassed flush that painted her cheeks and nose.
“O-Oh, well I just noticed how fond you are of (Y/N)-chan and how you’ve become more open since befriending her…” Hinata explained shyly.
That sentence was enough to make Neji whip his head up at her, his expression tired but bewildered.
“No Hinata. Absolutely not.” Neji grit out flatly, a bright flush blooming on his face.
“Can you just–”
“No. I will not allow you to indulge in some pairing fantasy where you think something is going on between (Y/N)-ch– (Y/N), and myself.” Neji spoke firmly, but Hinata remained doubtful. From knowing him for so long, Hinata could catch little things, tiny quirks about her cousin that would give his true feelings away.
She could see the small twitch in his brow, and she knew.
“So you’re telling me that you have no feeling or attraction to her at all? You don’t find her pretty?” She inquired, feigning innocence.
It was a question enough to make the man beside her pause.
Neji sighed through his nose, his eyes cast downward to the wooden porch and his shoes.
He wasn’t blind to see that (Y/N) was physically attractive. She didn’t have brand-name beauty as people saw on billboards, and her face wasn’t flawless. She had little blemishes…she had some freckles…
(Y/N) could say she didn’t like how frizzy her hair could get, or how she didn’t like her stomach or her arms or even her legs.
For Neji, he could tell her that she was being ludicrous, because to him, nothing about her physical appearance turned him off. She had the kind of beauty that made him want to hold her; caress her. She awoke a fire of desire inside of him that kept him up at night.
He hated how generic it sounded, but no one else before had made him feel the way she made him feel.
But her intellect and personality made her that much more appealing.
“Neji?”
She was so kind and gentle.
“Neji.”
But he knew she could have a temper. He’s seen it, only once, and he would have been lying if he said it wasn’t a turn-on.
“Earth to Neji.”
She would be the death of him.
“NEJI!” Hinata nearly shouted, her voice coming out more like a whisper-yell rather than an actual yell.
The man jerked his head up, a light pink tint dusting his face. Neji glanced back down to the floor.
“I…She…It doesn’t matter how I feel about her, Hinata. She has been good to both of us and has been supportive of me. She saw me as someone other than your mean older cousin and I have to give her gratitude for that.”
Hinata’s eyes widened to see a real smile grace her cousin’s lips.
“She saw me…as more.” He murmured gently.
“Neji…” Hinata sighed, feeling guilt fill her heart at his words. While she had always made an effort to negate her other friends' comments about her cousin, it still felt bad to know how much their words really hurt him.
She fell silent, trying to find the right words to say.
“...You deserve happiness, though. You don’t have to be lonely.” She tried.
“I’ve never complained about being lonely.” He countered.
To the mild surprise of her cousin, Hinata actually scoffed at him.
“You don’t have to say it flat out for me to know how you really feel.”
Neji opened his mouth to counter her statement again, but this time he couldn’t find the proper words.
Could Hinata really read him that easily? It made him wonder to himself how vulnerable he really was.
Before he could figure out how to reply, Hinata’s phone dinged from her pocket, catching her attention.
Neji gazed at her as she picked up her device, and frowned as her features melted into that of panic.
“It’s my father.” She whispered, immediately sending a rush of anxiety and dread throughout Neji’s system.
“What did he say?” He asked insistently.
Hinata was silent as her eyes skimmed through her father’s message. The more she read, the more Neji could see her face change for the worse. By the time she was finished, the woman was nearly in tears.
“He messaged our professors to get an update on our grades,” She explained, shaking her head as she heard her cousin’s groan of frustration. Neji buried his face in his hands again, squeezing his eyes shut to stop the urge to cry.
“He said he isn’t happy that our grades have slipped and wants to talk to both of us tomorrow,” Hinata whispered, silent tears rolling off her face that she couldn’t bother herself to wipe away.
All Neji could hear then was the beating of his frantic heart and the quiet sniffling of his cousin. He kept his face covered.
“...The both of us,” He began shakily, “are at the top of our class, Hinata. We both have A’s in the class and high GPAs…and that’s still not good enough for him?”
While his words came out as a question, the man didn’t need it to be answered for him. It was obvious.
Neji didn’t realize how quickly a mood could die before meeting his uncle. He was silent as Hinata stood from her seat, slipping inside without a word. He knew that she had just lost the remaining energy she had for the day to even speak anymore.
He had been there before.
He understood that.
However, that left Neji alone.
While being alone hadn’t bothered him in the past, he really needed some company now.
Sitting a bit helpless and deflated for a minute, a spontaneous thought flashed through his brain that had him sitting up straight.
Before he could change his mind or have any sort of doubt, Neji took his phone out of his pocket and scrolled through his contact list. Nearly tempted to hold his breath, he hit the call button.
The man sighed, nervously bouncing his knee as he pressed the phone to his ear, listening to the sound of a repeated ring.
“Hello?” A pretty voice answered, and Neji’s stomach did a leap.
“(Y-Y/n), good evening…I’m sorry to call you so late.”
The woman on the other end giggled.
“It’s only 7 in the evening, Nej. Is everything okay?”
“...Yeeeees.” He dragged the word out his teeth, trying, but failing, to sound sure of himself.
Neji fell quiet as he thought for a second. His throat felt dry, knowing that (Y/N) was waiting for him on the other line.
While some part of him was tempted to keep lying to her about his issues to save her from worry, he knew it would only hurt them both in the end.
(Y/N) could hear Neji let out a drawn-out sigh. He sounded so sad.
“Actually…no. It’s my uncle again. I just,” She could hear him pause, and the sound of his shaky breath was enough to make her grip her phone tighter with worry.
“...I just don’t want to be alone right now,” the man whispered.
Neji initially took her silence as her passing judgment onto him. Maybe she thought he was weak for expressing himself, asking for company like he just did. He could already feel a pit of self-loathing and doubt beginning to grow in his stomach, threatening to engulf him until he couldn't breathe. He knew being vulnerable to others would have its risks.
As he was about to speak again, to tell her to disregard everything he had said so he can go to his room and maybe shed some tears, he could hear the sound of keys jingling on (Y/N’s) end.
“I’m coming over.”