Kakashi
Kakashi
I’ve suffered for a very long time. At times I felt like giving up but that isn’t what those who had left me behind would have wanted. The hokage. What does it mean? Don’t ask me I’m taking it one day at a time. You’re proud of me, aren’t you? Obito? If he could see me now I know he’s laughing. I’m not someone who cries easily and yet standing here before them I feel a burning sensation in my chest.
Sasuke and Sakura. I love you more than words can describe.
I was a lonely man full of bitterness and hurt. When one loses everything that they love one after the other it’s hard to find the will to carry on. It’s hard to wake up every morning and get ready to live life and try and act as if everything is okay when you know that you possess a heart so broken the tears no longer fall to represent it. It was hard. It still is.
Then one day you walked into my life. 3 Naïve children. Loud, irresponsible and all over the place. I could have sworn Lord 3rd had something against me. The son of my former master whom I lost. The kin of my former teammate who I couldn’t save and the brother of another teammate whom I wished I could have helped, who suffered without me realising it. Then there was Sakura, a civilian girl who in her own way held influence over both of them, though she was too insecure to realise it. A bunch of broken people and a girl with the brightest of pink hair. How did she manage us? Thinking about it this way I wonder how she was able to keep sane all these years. It’s quite hilarious to consider.
I’m not a man of many words and I’m afraid the tears might start forming sooner or later. I don’t have much to say. When you walked into my life it was like a breath of fresh air. I felt… like I had a family again? Seeing that family drift further and further apart affected me more than they would ever know. Suddenly the will to carry on started drifting away again. But I wouldn’t do that. I wouldn’t give up on them. I lied to her. I told her everything would be okay but the truth is that was merely a hope. It was my heart and mind working together to try and convince me that one day everything would be fine again. I shouldn’t have kept things from her. I shouldn’t have lied. But she was an innocent girl in love. Who am I to take hope away from that? I loved her dearly. At times, I thought her desire to save him and bring him home was far greater than her love. Perhaps that desire was intensified by love. It transcended romance and the blissful fluttering of the heart. It was almost like a burden. One she had placed on herself. She felt a need to help him. She wanted to save him. She loved him.
Sakura. I didn’t teach you much and I’m sorry for where I had failed you and for all the times I might fail you again. I am an imperfect man but I will do anything to make sure that you are happy and that you are safe. Forgive me. I never doubted your love for Sasuke. I truly believed that one day you two could be happy. You are exactly what he needs. Someone who would love him unconditionally. Someone strong who won’t be easy to lose. You are good. Perhaps too good for him. Unselfish and kind. My little kunoichi. I pray that I have given you something to carry with you in life and if you choose to do so, I wish that one day your children will be as incredible as you are. Loving him must at times felt like a burden and yet you never stopped. You only ever wanted him to be safe, to feel loved. You are strong and I’m proud of the woman you have become. Seeing the doubt and insecurity drift away has been a journey. Seeing you grow into what you are today has been a blessing. I am thankful to Lady Tsunade every day that she was able to mould you and help you where I failed to. After everything I can confidently say that I am proud of you. I am more than grateful to have known you. I love you more than words can describe.
Sasuke. I’m proud of you. Look at how far you’ve come. I’m sorry I couldn’t take away your pain. There has always been an overbearing sense of guilt hanging over my shoulder, a strange feeling that maybe just maybe things wouldn’t have turned out the way they did if I had just done more. I failed you. I’m sorry. If I could go back I would have done things differently though a part of me feels as if our fates are set in stone. I was always inclined to help you. Many joke that you were my favourite and a part of me feels as though they might be right though I know I love you all equally in your own way. One way or another I have always felt a connection to your clan. Though we may not share blood I look at you as my own family. A part of me always felt indebted to you. Was it because of the sharingan? I don’t know. Perhaps it’s because you reminded me of him. More in looks than in personality but perhaps also in the way you always wanted to improve, to be better. I hate to rattle off my regrets, I know it’s typical of me, but I have so many. I regret so much. That day on the bridge. I’m sorry. I wasn’t able to do much for you and I didn’t try hard enough. Yet standing here in this moment if I could go back I wouldn’t change a thing. I wouldn’t want to jeopardise the opportunity of standing here seeing you with that look on your face. Like you finally have a sense of belonging. Like you’re sure of who you are.
She’s crying. What did you say this time?
When Yamato told me what you were planning to do I was surprised. No, I wasn’t really. I was happy. Proud. No matter what my feelings are on the matter I support you. I guess after all these years you both got what you initially told me you wanted. Sakura saved her love for you and now you’re finally in a position to accept it. Although, I did always get the feeling you enjoyed her company beyond what was normal. You’d never admit it though will you? And you, you may not share the same blood but after a long time, there’s finally someone else on this earth that will share your name. There’s beauty in that. One day your children will too. Hopefully not too soon you’re both far from ready for children and I don’t think my heart could handle mini-Sasuke’s running around. Yamato better pick up that onigiri.
I can’t help but laugh. The look on Sasuke’s face is priceless. I know him too well to not see how nervous he is but as always he fights not to show it. Although it is obvious to see the way he looks at her with soft eyes. I guess she’s not so annoying now is she? And that look on her face. She’s happy. They both are. It won’t be easy. He can’t give her everything she would want. Not with what he does and the way he is but the funny thing is I don’t think she expects the world from him. He is enough. I guess that’s the beauty in life. Taking risks. Loving and living in the moment. I wouldn’t want anything more for you than that. You both have grown and become people everyone can rely on and be proud of. You both are strong and now I see you’re happy. And that’s enough, isn’t it? After all, is that not a master’s wish? To know that long into the future on this journey we call life, even after we are gone, our students, students we have grown to love, students we cherish so dearly that whether we want to admit it or not we view as some form of family, that they will be okay? It certainly is mine. If I had to die tomorrow I will do so with a smile on my face knowing that this time, I finally did something right. You all turned out well.
There it is. My vision is blurred. Hopefully no one notices the tears forming that would be a bit embarrassing would it not? Though this time its tears of joy, of pride? I can’t help it. I really can’t. It’s just… is this what it would have looked like? I can’t help but imagine it. In them, I see a shadow of a boy and girl I once knew. It’s unnatural. They look exactly like you two. Obito. Rin. I wish you could be here today. I miss you. I wish- I wish you could have gotten your happy ending. Perhaps in another life. I really should learn to stop dwelling on the past, but it is inevitable when you have lived a life such as mine.
They lit the fires. Orochimaru just whispered something to Tsunade I better make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid. This is a day of celebration, isn’t that so?
After all, Sasuke and Sakura are getting married…