On My Mind

approx. 1 year after the final chapter

"Back up a little, Izu, or you'll burn yourself." Ever so carefully, Kakashi snaked his arm around Izumi's waist and gently pried her away from the turned-on stove, subsequently holding her flush to his own body.

Izumi couldn't help the heat rising to her cheeks at their proximity, and let out a small, awkward cough. While their relationship wasn’t exactly new, Izumi found it difficult to get used to the accidental lingering touches between them or the way Kakashi was standing closer than usual to her.

For a brief moment, she wondered whether the novels he was reading were his reference when it came to his sudden and new touchiness with her.

"The oil could still rise up a little, so being close to it isn't safe. You can watch from a distance."

Izumi turned in his grip to face him, her cheeks painted a soft red. To her silver-haired boyfriend, it could look as though the colour stemmed from the heat of the stove against her face, but she knew otherwise.

From underneath her lashes, she looked up at him. "What are you making anyways, chef?"

Kakashi let out a small laugh at the nickname. He leaned around her figure and stirred the mixture with a spoon. "Miso soup with eggplant, your favourite."

Izumi let out a snort, slapping his arm playfully. "It's your favourite too, dummy."

"Our favourite, then," He corrected cheekily. “Although if I remember correctly it was your favourite first.”

“Doesn’t matter, ‘Kashi. Our favourite now.”

“If that’s what you say, it must be true,” Kakashi adjusted his grip on her hips, gently moving her a little further to the side so that he could reach the spices on the counter. “And the food is done. Mind taste testing it for me, Izu?”

Before he even finished the sentence, Izumi’s hand moved to retrieve a spoon from the drawer beside her. “It would be my pleasure.”

Carefully, Izumi turned in Kakashi’s grip again, doing her best to ignore how his grip on her waist loosened , and he helped her spin around, his finger grazing her bare skin. Then, she dipped her spoon into the hot spoon, lifting it up and holding her hand underneath it, so it wouldn’t drip onto the floor. As her mother always advised her to do, Izumi blew on it so it wouldn’t be too hot and then tasted it, almost moaning at the wonderful taste.

Almost nervously, his fingers danced on her skin. “And, what do you think?”

“It’s amazing, as always, ‘Kashi!” Izumi said, dipping her spoon into the soup to get another taste. “You better be careful or there will be nothing left for you.”

Kakashi let out a laugh and shook his head. “If you say so.”

As it turned out, Izumi wasn’t lying, not one bit. Because as soon as Kakashi had detached himself from her and prepared two bowls for them, his girlfriend had dug into the meal like a starved animal. Quietly, he watched her enjoy her meal with a smile on his face, one that began to falter when he noticed that her body was turned away from his.

Kakashi’s brows knit together as he said, "You can turn to face me, you know that, right, Izu?"

Izumi turned to him and stared wide-eyed, unable to hide the look of shock on her face. "I can?"

"Every time we eat together, you always turn away from me. Why is that?"

"I want to respect your privacy," Izumi hesitated in her words. "With showing your face and all. It’s your choice to make, not mine. I want to respect that and-"

"You can see it." Kakashi interrupted her without much of a thought. His resolve about that topic had settled long ago already, and he wasn’t about to take his words back. 

"Really?"

Kakashi found it absolutely adorable how she stared at him in wonder, her lips parted. "You can."

His heart was racing inside his chest, his ever-so confident resolve beginning to crumble under her intense stare. Kakashi surprised himself with how little his hand was shaking when he built up enough courage to raise it to his face, his fingers moving to curl around the edge of his face. There was no turning back now, he told himself, and pulled at the soft material, allowing it to pool at his collarbone.

Izumi made no sound and merely stared at him, cerulean eyes blown wide in admiration. 

Kakashi meanwhile, only grew flustered under her intense stare and quickly averted his gaze to look at his bowl of food instead. His pale skin was painted an intense shade of red, one that dusted his cheeks as he awaited the response of the brunette opposite of him.

"Oh, Kashi! You're beautiful," A breath rushed past her lips. She put on a mock-thoughtful expression before she smiled at him. "Explains why you hide your face, then, to spare us poor poor kunoichi the daily nosebleeds."

If even possible, Kakashi grew even more flustered than he already had been, his whole body feeling hot. His mouth fell open at her statement, mind running haywire to comprehend what she was saying. He blinked a few times, still in shock. Did she just … flirt with him?

"Stop staring." he murmured loud enough for her to hear, still avoiding her gaze.

Izumi didn't. Instead, she commented on his undeniable beauty again, though this time with her tone a little breathless.

A comfortable silence lingered between the couple, the only sound separating them their breaths. That was, at least, until Kakashi dared to lift his gaze to meet hers, growing a little bold under the influence of her comments. His uncovered lips contorted into a smirk, one that left Izumi confused.

"I could say the same about you." His voice was, similar to hers a moment before, a little breathless. The flush, though dying down, still coated his cheeks, giving the silver-haired an appearance as though crafted by the finest craftsmanship.

Izumi squeaked, turning beet red in mere seconds. "Thank you!" Then, in a spur of the moment decision, she leaned over the table and moved towards him, ultimately pressing her lips to his cheek in appreciation. 

Both were sitting in silence now, their faces a matching glaring red.

━━━━

One of the many things Yamanaka Izumi did not like in life was fighting with her silver-haired partner. A heated exchange of words between them yesterday evening left her with a heavy heart and an overwhelming amount of thoughts. And a lot of guilt to work through.

At eighteen years old, she thought she could be more mature than she had acted, but apparently, not.

Izumi was never one to be properly composed. Her mind was a labyrinth of unexplored thoughts and lines of thoughts, questions she never got the answer to and those she was starving to know the answer of. There was not a day when the thoughts in her head were organized in some way, always a mess that seemed to have no end to it.

Thinking through her mistakes was something she particularly struggled with, especially when done alone. She did not need someone beside Kakashi to tell her what she had done wrong and where it was that she had stepped over a boundary between them, she had realized the point herself by now. At the beginning of their relationship and many times throughout it, he had established his own boundaries, and she had clearly disrespected it, she knew that much. She had got herself into this horrible mess and also needed to get herself out of the hole she dug for herself, no matter how long that would take.

Izumi’s first step to her solution was to do the thing Kushina had taught her to whenever she was upset: to drown her sorrows in some ramen.

Ichiraku’s was the ideal place to do so.

[ … ]

The bowl of delicious-looking miso soup with eggplant sitting in front of her only reminded her of the gravity-defying silver hair she loved so much and the matching pair of crimson and charcoal eyes she could stare into for hours. The blinding smile hidden underneath his mask was something that left her speechless each time she was lucky enough to see it. Staring at the miso in front of her allowed Izumi’s mind to swarm of memories from dates and the times they ate together, making her feel more miserable than anything else.

Izumi was just about ready to slam her head into the table.

"Hey! It is you again." A loud voice came from beside her, practically yelling right into her ear.

The brunette winced before turning to face the owner of it, only to come face to face with an overexcited sunshine blonde, staring at her with a wide smile. His eyes were so blue and blown wide, that they reminded her of a cloud-free sky. Naruto sat beside her on one of the chairs of Ichiraku’s, his feet not even being able to touch the footrest from how tiny he was.

"Hello, little one." Izumi chuckled, turning to look at the small blond.

To entertain her godson, she could push her frustrations away.

"I'm not little," Naruto pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm just not tall for my age."

Izumi shook her head softly. "I didn't mean to offend you, munchkin," She reached out towards him, her hand hovering above his head for a moment, waiting for a reaction. When he didn't shy away from her, she ruffled his hair affectionately. "When I was about your age, I was also not the tallest."

"Really?" Naruto peered up at her in disbelief.

"Uh huh," She exaggerated her facial expression a little, anything to entertain a child, after all. "But look at me now. I'm tall, wouldn't you say so?" At 175 centimetre, she stood proudly, more than just a bit above the average height of women.

"Do you think once I am older, I will also be tall?"

Izumi pretended to think about her answer for a moment. "Hmm, I think you might tower over me one day."

The blond Uzumaki took on a determined glint, grinning at her. “Believe it!”

"How old are you anyway, munchkin?" Izumi knew he must be almost four years old by now, but regardless of her knowledge, she asked. She didn’t want to scare Naruto aware by how much she knew about him, that would make her even more miserable than she already was to begin with.

Naruto continued to peer up at Izumi before he held up his hand at her with one finger tucked down. "Four!" He grinned, glancing at his hand several times to ensure he held up the correct amount of fingers.

In her opinion, he was simply too adorable.

"Woah!" Izumi gasped, covering her mouth in faux shock. "You're such a big boy already, then!"

Naruto still sat on the chair beside her, looking proud and nodding in agreement. Almost comically, he puffed out his chest while grinning.

Izumi chuckled at that. "What do you say, big boy, would you like to celebrate that with some ramen?"

As though his life dependent on it, Naruto nodded.

“Teuchi-san, I would love some, eh,” Izumi looked over at the young child, noticing that she didn’t know what type or ramen he liked best. “Sorry, munchkin, what do you want to eat?”

“I want a large serving of miso ramen with roasted pork fillet!” Naruto declared loudly.

Teuchi smiled at him. “Coming right up.”

━━━━

an undermined amount of time later

Kakashi moved to kneel down before a stumbling Izumi, his back turned to her as she climbed onto it, completely shitfaced from her night-out with friends. As soon as he could feel her weight on his back, he wrapped his strong arms around her thighs and hoisted her upwards, instructing her to wrap his arms around his neck. 

“Hatake,” Sen gave the silver-haired a pointed look. She wore her usual scowl when talking to him, still displeased by his presence in her life. “You better take care of her, or you will have a problem with me, got it?”

“Yeah, yeah, I got it. No need to threaten me and my life again.”

From her position on his back, Izumi nodded vehemently, her hair tickling the bare skin of his shoulder. “That’s funny, she always threatens my boyfriend too.”

Sen let out a snort. “She’s worse than I thought. Maybe the air outside will help her sober up at least a little.”

Kakashi shot her a look. “Right, we better go home then, isn’t that right, Izu?”

Again, she nodded.

[ … ]

As it turned out, Sen was wrong. The air did not make Izumi’s situation any better, and instead, she was just talking non-stop now, telling Kakashi about everything she could see and remember.

"You know, I have this really great boyfriend." Izumi slurred before she let out a giggle.

A smile made its way onto Kakashi's face. He found it endearing that even when drunk, she thought about him. The way her hands were interconnected at his chest, so she could grab onto him and the way her legs were wrapped around his hips, his hand stabilizing them, felt so warm to him all of a sudden. The plush of her thighs in his hands got his body feeling hot and his pulse rising dangerously.

"I just love him so much." She sighed, face moving towards the crook of his neck before it settled there, her warm breath startling him just as her words did.

Kakashi willed himself to continue moving forward, to not stop. He had often heard the phrase that drunk words were sober thoughts and at that moment, he could only hope for that to be true. She loved him.

I love him. The words repeated like a symphony on his mind, playing over and over again like his favourite song. Kakashi knew that he would never grow tired of hearing her say that. After having dated for so long, the words have never been spoken between them, until now, that was.

He cleared his throat. "I'm sure he loves you too."

"Really?" Her voice sounded so small, hopeful, and her grip around him tightened.

"Yeah, really." He smiled even wider. More than she could ever imagine.

Izumi's breath fanned the bit of exposed skin on his neck again. "Even if he didn't, I would still love him."

“I’m positive he feels the same about you.”

No response. His brows knitted together.

“Izu?”

Kakashi could feel her warm breath fan against his neck in even breaths. Her hands still clung to him, but her grip on him loosed noticeably. Izumi must have fallen asleep from all the alcohol in her system, he concluded. He tightened his grip on her thighs to make sure that on their way home, she wouldn’t fall off his back.

Then, he let out a sigh, smiling, “The things you do for the one you love.”