On My Mind

The air felt tight, almost suffocating.

Something was wrong, deeply wrong.

While Izumi sat with her father Fuji in one of the training rooms in the Yamanaka clan compound, they shared a look of equal confusion as a wave of anger and hatred washed over them out of nowhere. At the overwhelming emotions, they shuddered simultaneously, both breathing in sharply afterward.

"What was that?" quizzed Izumi, brows set into a furrow. She couldn't decipher where the wave had come from, where its source was located, so she hoped her father could.

Fuji felt just as lost, shaking his head, equally confused. "I wish I knew. Best be cautious, munchkin." While he was a great sensor, even he felt lost, his inner clock utterly confused.

The wave having overcome them had felt so strong, overwhelming every other emotion they had felt. Izumi's own delight she felt at spending time with her father was drowned by the tidal wave, turning her smile into a scowl.

What was happening?

Her gaze immediately traveled to the few windows of the room, cerulean eyes scanning the outside area for any hint of what had caused the sudden change in atmosphere. Though there was nothing, nor was there a hint of anything happening. No explosion, no signs of enemy infiltration, nothing.

“Maybe I should go and check with the Barrier Team,” Izumi stood up from her spot seated on a soft pillow, and brushed off her clothing, giving her father a wry smile as she did so. “Maybe they know more.” While she was not eager at all to interrupt their time together, the curiosity and worry were overwhelming.

"Izumi," Her father reached out and grasped the sleeve of her top. Rarely ever did he address her by her full name. "Stay here. I don't have a good feeling about this."

Izumi swallowed, nodding her head. "Alright," She told him softly as soon as she saw his lips twist in worry. "Alright."

As Izumi settled back into her original position beside her father, her knees tucked against her chest and her arms wrapping around them to pull them closer, she felt worry churn in her stomach.

Nothing was alright, nothing at all, and Izumi couldn’t help but allow for the thought to stick to her mind as glue would, not letting go at all. Even as her father gently squeezed her hand in reassurance, a soft smile tugging at his lips, the worries continued to cloud her mind. Not even shogi would break her out of it, her every move a disaster as they played.

The killer intent surging had overtaken her emotions completely, leaving Izumi shaken by it.

"I'm worried," She spoke her growing distress aloud. "Something is wrong, and it would be best if we-"

The ground began to shake, unnaturally so, cutting her off in her sentence. Their eyes widened drastically, gazes connected in a shared fear coursing through them.

Fuji swallowed harshly. "We better leave." Though his legs did not cooperate with his words, them trembling violently as he heaved himself up, only to fall back down again.

“Let me help you, dad,” Izumi hurried over to the man in order to stabilize him so that he would be able to walk. “and then we’ll go and find mom.”

"Your mother can handle herself, 'Zumi."

Izumi hoped that at least Kushina was alright. While she knew the woman's due date to be in October, at around the middle of it, she had never inquired about the exact date. Her sensei must be shaken right now, and so were her friends.

She knew that Sen was out of the village as of right now, collecting foreign herbs in other regions, so at least one of her friends could avoid the distress of the village. Chihiro on the other hand … the thought of anything happening to her brother figure made her stomach drop.

And Kakashi, he must be walking around the village somewhere, presumable still in the presence of Gai. Her heart dropped to her stomach at the thought of something happening to him. Though she could not focus on the thought much as it was soon interrupted.

In the distance, a loud roar echoed, followed shortly by the sound of many screams. Izumi could feel the shiver run down her spine, her heart stuttering as it did. What was that?

By now, Izumi had stabilized her father, his arm slung over her shoulder to help him walk. The noises in the distant got louder and came nearer, the overwhelming emotions of before returning again, yet this time much stronger than how they were before. Whatever it was causing such strong emotions, it was coming closer.

“We need to hurry.” The urgency in her voice was obvious.

Fuji frowned at his daughter, his senses beginning to feel overwhelmed by the massive chakra coming their way. The way Izumi, too, began to freeze, her muscles tensing told him that she was experiencing the same thing, their sensor abilities turning into their downfall. As they stood, they felt almost immobilized by the heavy chakra they were able to track.

Fear was a mind killer, or so they said. Both now knew it to be true.

In rapid motions, the heavy chakra came closer until it basically stood at their doorsteps, a loud roar ringing in their ears. It was more than spine-chilling and hair-raising, it left them more petrified than anything. The only sensation to bring both of them back to the reality of things was the throbbing of their legs, keeping them more or less grounded. That was at least until the world felt heavy and so did their limbs, a new darkness beginning to surround both of the Yamanaka.

And then everything went black.

━━━━

Kakashi was consumed by the worry he felt. He stood beside Gai at the meeting spot of those under the age of 18, his muscles taut and jaw clenched as his charcoal eye carefully raked over the crowd of Shinobi kept there safe. Carefully and with much precision, he was searching for a certain brunette, his distress growing by each person he identified to not be her.

In the back of his mind, he knew if Izumi were there, by now she would have found him already, would have found his chakra signatures and joined his side, no matter the crowd. And yet she wasn’t there, his sides occupied by everyone but her.

“Now listen up,” began Kurenai’s father to lecture them. “You young Shinobi are to stay away from the Nine-Tails. This is not a battle between villages.”

“Speak for yourself!” argued Kurenai, raising her hand in protest. With an intensity rarely seen on her features, she glared at her father.

“We are not guaranteed a long life, but I want to make sure you have one, Kurenai. At least pass on the Will of Fire onto my grandchildren.”

Kakashi couldn't bother listening in on the family discussion and instead kept on searching for his friend, knowing in the depth of his heart that she was not there, that his attempts were futile.

Izumi was not in the safe zone where she should be.

Kakashi felt someone tap his shoulder before a pair of hands were placed on it, turning him around harshly. He was faced, or had to look down to face, the frustrated features of Nara Sen staring at him, brows contorted into one of worry.

"Have you seen Izumi? I can't find her." asked him the raven-haired best friend as she removed her hands from his shoulders. Just as him she usually had an air of nonchalance about her, but at the lack of their shared friend, hers had been broken just as his.

"I've been searching since I've got here but I can't find her either."

His heart dropped into his stomach. It couldn't be true.

"Damnit," cursed Sen, her jaw clenching. "How does she get herself into trouble so often? That … idiot. I'm so worried. Do you think she's at any of the other safe spots?"

"I don't think so," Kakashi shook his head, reminding himself of their last conversation. "She said she and Fuji wanted to spend the day together …"

Yet again, Sen cursed. "Oh, kami, no, no, no. That means they are at the clan compound!" Her eyes widened as her voice grew frantic, unable to keep her distress out of them. "It was crushed."

For a moment, Kakashi swore his heart had stopped beating.

An idea came to his mind, he needed to check. "Sen, can you help me get out of here?"

Sen stared at him wide-eyed, her features twisting into a frown. "Kakashi, Izumi would kill me if she found out I let you out there while the Nine-Tails is still roaming around."

Kakashi frowned back at her. "And I don't want Izumi to be killed because the Nine-Tails is still around. It's best if I go and search."

"I will come with you."

"No offense, Sen, but you look pretty shaken right now." It was true, her limbs trembled frantically. It made him wonder what had caused her state.

Sen let out a sigh of defeat. "Okay. Listen up, Hatake. Make a Shadow Clone and I'll make sure that nobody notices your absence."

Kakashi raised his eyebrow at her but nodded, already weaving the hand signs to produce a Shadow Clone.

The raven-haired was quick to help, producing a wall made out of shadows to hide the appearance of the Shadow Clone to ensure that their plan would work. While from behind the wall a clone of Kakashi stepped out, the real meanwhile hurried away, his feet carrying him to the Yamanaka compound.

━━━━

Izumi was pretty sure that her left leg was crushed. While she could still move her toes, any other movement she attempted as she lay on the floor was limited, her leg lying limp on the ground. No matter how much she focused on producing at least some movement, not one muscle even tensed at her concentration.

When she had woken up what had felt like half an hour ago, the first thing to come to her mind was the overwhelming pain on the left side of her body. Then she had fallen into her slumber again, her eyes falling shut without even as much as a chance to take in the situation.

What might have been minutes later her eyes fluttered open, the pain which had taken her out completely, not as heavy on her anymore. Still, she let out a hiss at the amount of, shortly followed by a cry.

It took almost a minute for the brunette to recollect what had happened and for her to determine her circumstance. The memories rushed into her mind, overtaking it completely as each replayed, again and again, the situation piecing together.

The Nine-Tails.

Maybe her memory was fooling her, or she found herself under some kind of a genjutsu because it couldn’t be. In her mind, Izumi almost deceived herself about the situation at hand, telling herself that it can’t be. Truth was, it had happened, the impossible had begun to havoc above the village. The Nine-Tails had gotten free, its roars echoing through the whole village.

Kushina. Minato. Naruto!

Dad.

The brunette man had stood beside her as the roof collapsed, his hand slipping from hers as soon as the first panel rained down upon them. From what Izumi remembered, next she herself fell to the cold ground, hands splayed on it as she attempted to grip the wooden panels to pull herself forward, away from the center of the room. It was in vain, her legs not supporting her arms in her attempts, leaving her subjected to the hail following.

"Dad?!" Izumi called out to the man, her voice choked as she did. "Where are you?"

No reply reached her ears. No, not her father. Not him.

Izumi let out a small cry, feeling as though at any moment her heart might burst.

With her chakra, she reached out toward the chakra of her father, her own flickering softly against his, hoping for an active reply. Nothing. His chakra was unstable, flickering constantly instead of maintaining an active flow. That worried her, the telltale sign of a harsh injury left her heart stuttering in fear and worry, leaving her gasping for air in panic.

In a hesitant motion, Izumi attempted to make use of her hands, only for one of them to throb painfully from its place beside her hips. Moving both hands forward in order to carefully inspect them in the small light Izumi saw before her not only took a lot of effort, but also a lot of willpower. The motions she made had her cry out in pain several times, halting in her motion to breathe in deeply before continuing on. For Izumi, it felt like she was doing that for hours on end, making barely any progress during the time passing. Beyond her perception, only mere minutes had passed before she could see her mangled fingers before her, twisted and bent awkwardly. At the sight of them, she let out a loud scream, squeezing her eyes shut to abandon the image forever engraved in her mind.

Izumi breathed in deeply while keeping her eyes closed and attempted to form a proper plan to get her father and herself out of the situation, to somehow get help. It wouldn’t be until the Nine-Tails was defeated after all that help would be sent out, and until then it might be too late. The mere thought almost made her throw up, the bile crawling up her stomach.

For her father, she had to be strong.

She knew what she had to do.

Again, with her chakra, she reached out to find someone in the area surrounding them. It didn’t matter who she would find, just someone who could help them. Anyone.

More than anything, her attempts felt without cause, as no chakra signature was detectable in their immediate surroundings. The constant failure carried on for another few minutes, her own chakra reserves beginning to dwindle as she continued to search for anyone to call out to for help. Somewhere in the distance, a familiar chakra popped up, a whirlwind of white recognized by Izumi’s own chakra.

Kakashi.

“Kakashi,” Even though the teen wouldn’t be able to hear her from the distance he was away from her, Izumi found herself calling out to him. “please.”

Her hands in front of her moved painfully slow, each motion feeling as though her fingers were on fire, her skin burning when it came into contact with air. Regardless of that, she kept going. With each hand signs weaved, a hiss pushed past her lips at the pain that followed.

Kakashi could practically feel his limbs burning as he ran through the rubble of the village. In front of him ran Pakkun, his nose eagerly following the scent of the brunette he was meant to find. Every few beats, Kakashi’s heart stuttered in its beat, the destruction surrounding them only making him think about the worst. His mind was foggy as he ran ahead, the material of the bracelet once gifted to him clinging against his skin as a constant reminder of what he valued.

“Kakashi.”

Loud and clearly, he heard the voice echo in his mind and his body came to a sudden halt, his eyes widening in shock. Pakkun, too, stopped in his step and looked back at the silver-haired with a tilted head, questioning him.

“Boss?” called out Pakkun, but received no reply.

“Izumi?” Kakashi felt like he was going insane at any moment, like he was hallucinating that he heard his friend speak in his mind.

The voice returned. “I need your help, please,” Even as she only echoed in his mind, the melancholy and fright in her tone were obvious. “Dad and I are stuck, and we can’t get out-” In between her words, she hiccuped. “and we need help. Just follow my chakra, we are in the compound, I took you there once.”

After her last word, the connection existing between the two of them dimmed significantly, only a trail of chakra linking the two of them together. Immediately, Kakashi noticed how weak the signal was coming from her, her exhaustion becoming obvious to him.

“Pakkun, let’s go.”

In response, Pakkun only barked loudly before rushing ahead with the silver-haired, both of them following the trail laid out before them. For the furry companion, his nose guided the way, his short legs carrying him not as quickly as the long legs of the human beside him. Kakashi on the other hand had growing difficulties in detecting where the chakra signal came from, himself relying on his other senses too.

Kakashi’s heart continued to beat frantically the closer they got, it practically thumped out of his chest. What he would find in the clan compound, was what scared him deeply. Would he have stopped now, the silver-haired would tremble on the spot at the amount of worry he was feeling. It had been some time since he felt that way, and it was a feeling he hoped would never repeat.

Coming closer to the chakra signal gave Kakashi some sort of relief, the tension in his muscles somewhat lessening with each step he took forward.

Please be okay. Please.

Kakashi wasn’t one to beg, but for her, he would.

A good distance away, Pakkun began to bark loudly as he stood with his snout lowered to the ground, aimed at a heap of rubble. Even in the moonlight, it was difficult to see what lay underneath, the only hint of a weak chakra signature pulsing from near the spot.

Please. Please. Please.

Izumi.

Even in the dim moonlight, Kakashi could recognize his best friend in an instant, no second look of confirmation was needed. Her short brunette hair was splayed across her face as she lay on the ground, looking up at him with wide eyes, eyes filled with more fear in them than he had ever seen her display.

“I-” For a moment, Kakashi was speechless as he stood in the ruins of the Yamanaka compound. The words got lost on his tongue, and he felt like he lost all ability to speak. Rarely ever was Kakashi speechless.

From the peripheral of his vision, he could see yet another sight that made the air leave his lungs, one that left his heart breaking again. Fuji, too, had been injured badly. Behind the brunette the older Yamanaka lay on the ground, unconscious and barely breathing from what Kakashi could see.

Kakashi could feel a piercing stare on his face, one that demanded his attention. He turned his head toward Izumi again, who looked at him with eyes practically begging for him to do something.

"Take my father first," commanded him Izumi with a harsh look, the tears in her eyes softening it. "Save him first."

"Izu-" Kakashi could practically feel his heart break as he stared down at his friend, the one for whom he would lay the world at their feet.

"Kakashi. Save him first, you hear me?"

In protest, Kakashi shook his head, practically hearing his heart breaking into pieces. The words got choked up in his throat, his lips pressed together into a firm line to keep himself from sobbing at the hopelessness he felt.

"If you don't do it then I will force you, I swear to you, I will invade your mind and force you." The threat she made was not empty. If it came down to it, she would use the mind technique on him.

Izumi did not point out the fact that with the state her fingers were in, she could not form the hand signs necessary. In his hurry, Kakashi did not appear to notice said fact.

"Izu-" Kakashi bit his tongue to keep himself from arguing, resigning. "Alright."

Izumi let out a sigh of relief, one that left her trembling at the painful sensation. "Thank you."

"I'll be back as fast as I can."

Izumi nodded at him, rendered unable to formulate the words of permission for him to leave. True to his word, Kakashi turned his back on her to walk over to the unconscious form of her father to then pick him up and heave him over his shoulder, carrying the frail man away from the scene. Meanwhile, the brunette could only watch them begin to walk away, herself remaining stuck under rubble.

"Please don't leave, Kakashi, please." She murmured, fear clouding her judgement. Izumi reached out toward the silver-haired, tears staining her cheeks. But she had to let him go, he would return soon.

Yet the fear still overwhelmed her and left her crying underneath the rubble, hands flexing several times in an attempt to somewhat use a jutsu. Though it was to no avail, she was stuck.

And her ramblings had never reached his ears as he had carried out her wishes, bringing Fuji to safety. It was also the last thing she remembered as the pain became overwhelming to her, rising to a degree she had never experienced before. The pain left her struggling to breathe or even stay conscious, her eyes fluttering shut as soon as she saw familiar silver hair return to the sight, calling out to her.

━━━━

Hatake Kakashi had never been fond of hospitals. Ever since he was a child, he had actively sought to avoid staying in a hospital for more than mere minutes. After missions during which he found himself injured, he preferred to rush over to the Yamanaka house rather than a hospital and allow his brunette best friend to patch him up with her mediocre medical skills. To now have said friend be in the hospital herself left his heart beating irregularly and stomach churning in all the worry he felt.

Was that how Izumi had always felt when he landed himself in the hospital? If so, then he had a lot to apologize for. He made a mental note to do so once she would wake up from her procedures.

Now, in the sitting room of the Konoha hospital, Kakashi felt his hatred of hospitals pool up again. He also felt himself being enveloped into a tight embrace the second he properly sat down, a sob racking through the body of who hugged.

"Oh thank you so much, Kakashi, thank you so much. You brought my daughter and husband home, thank you so much," Miho sobbed out each word. "Thank you so much, son."

"I-" The words died on his tongue. How was he supposed to respond? "Of course."

Son. Son. Son. He was her son.

"I'm so glad you are alright, son," slurred Miho, choked sobs interrupting her words. "I couldn't lose both of my children and my husband in one night. Oh, Kakashi," She only hugged him tighter, pulling the boy into her as though to reassure herself that she was not dreaming, that he was there. “I thought I would lose you too, son.”

Kakashi stiffened at her repeated choice of words, tears of his own gathering in his eyes. Her son. He was her son. “I couldn’t lose any more family, either.” 

The day he had let the Yamanaka family into his heart, he knew that the love they provided also came with great pain one day in retaliation. It was a bitter truth, one that left his mind numbed and stomach-churning in dread.

They had survived, all four of them had. Yet another time Hatake Kakashi almost lost his family but through a twist of fate, the blanket of adoration was one not ripped away from him.

So as Miho pulled him tighter into her embrace, gently rubbing up and down his back in an attempt to bring comfort to both of them, he let out the loudest sob he had in years, leaning into the figure of a mother, accepting.