On My Mind

When Izumi woke up in the morning to soft rays of sunshine blinding her, she let out a soft groan. Shades of yellow illuminated her bedroom and gave it a soft glow.

The kunai Kakashi had won for her weeks ago hung on the wall of her room, glittering in the soft sunlight like it did when she first saw it. Izumi couldn't help but smile at the memories playing in her mind.

He had won it ... for her. She smiled.

Izumi rushed out of her bed, excitement painted on her face. Once she stood in front of Kakashi's door, she knocked softly, hoping that the boy was awake already. Patiently, she waited in front of the door, shuffling on her feet in anticipation. There was no response, not one sign that he was either sleeping soundly or awake in his room. The lack of a reaction made her frown.

"Kakashi," She called out to him softly. "Can I come in?"

Yet again, no response. Worry began to bubble up in her stomach. Maybe he's just training?

Izumi reached for the doorknob, hand shaking, before she twisted it to open the room. She pushed the door open to reveal an empty room, no silver-haired boy in sight. Her insides twisted up in worry.

"Kakashi?" She called out again, voice beginning to waver.

As expected, there was no response. Not even Pakkun could be found in the room. The door of his closet stood slightly ajar, as though recently opened, and his bedside table was empty except for the lamp standing on it. His bed was carefully made, sheets tucked in neatly and pillows fluffed. His belongings were gone.

Did he leave?

Izumi shook her head to evict the thought, pushing against the possibility. Her suspicion was easily confirmed by a single note laying on the sheets. On the note, the familiar handwriting stood out to her. Izumi didn't even have to read who signed the note because she already knew. Kakashi.

Dear Izumi, Miho and Fuji,

I am ready to live by myself again, which is why I have decided to move back into the clan compound again. I can't thank you for your kindness and for letting me stay with you. Now it's time for me to leave.
- Kakashi

Izumi could feel the tears prickle at her lash line as she read the note, cerulean eyes glossing over. He left.

For a few moments, she stood in the room vacated by him, eyes fixated on the note, reading it over and over again. Her mind was clouded with disbelief as her heart began to beat against her chest rapidly. He left.

Izumi's feet moved on their own accord, her mind still stuck in his room. The brunette rushed down the stairs to find either of her parents to tell them about what had happened. The first place her feet carried her to was her father's library, empty. Her next stop was the living room, where she would hopefully find anyone. Not a chance, the house was as though wiped empty. In the kitchen though, where Izumi hurried next, there stood her mother as calm and collected as ever.

"Mom!" yelled out Izumi, rushing over to tug at the sleeve of her top. "Kakashi is gone!"

The woman whipped her head around quickly, blonde hair tied up in a ponytail moving with her. "What?" Her cerulean eyes were blown wide as she looked down at her frantic daughter.

"He left." Izumi held out the note she found to her mother, who grabbed it.

Miho read the note carefully, going over it once, twice, three times, before she let out a sigh. Her right hand came to rub at her eyes to calm her racing heart down.

"Izumi," The blonde placed a comforting hand on her daughter's shoulder. "Let him be, at least for a while. If he needs space, give him the space."

"But-"

Miho cut her daughter off. "We can't force him to stay with us. It seems like he wants distance from living with others. The best we can do is provide him with it."

Izumi let out a sigh, the frown on her face persistent. "Mom, I'm just really worried. I'm scared of losing my best friend."

"I don't think that you'll ever lose him, sweets. You two are good friends, and you'll stay good friends. I don't doubt that," Miho rubbed circles on her daughter's shoulder to calm her down. "The best you can do is be there for him and to support him, as his friend."

The brunette looked up at her mother, a determined look overtaking her features. "I will. I will always be there for him."

Miho's hand moved from her shoulder to the top of her head, ruffling it affectionately. "That's the spirit, sweets. Make sure that he knows he will always have a home here, okay?"

"I will."

Whether he liked it or not, Kakashi would always be a part of the family and always have a space in the home, a space just for him.

━━━━

As soon as Izumi went to search for the silver-haired, so she could check up on him, it began to rain. Despite having brought an umbrella with her, the rain still somehow managed to soak her. That was the least of her worries, though. She couldn't care less about her soaked clothes, as long as she knew her friend to be fine.

The first place Izumi visited to check for her friend was the training ground, at which they had always trained for almost two years. The grass was completely wet from the rain, losing the lovely shade of green that had greeted her for every one of their training. It appeared more grim than usual, as did the sky with its dark shade of gray. The whole day felt melancholic.

Her next stop was the Hatake house, abandoned over the past few months. The house had taken on a lifeless appearance over the time no one inhabited it, its previously lively spirit fading. It looked like someone had begun to inhabit it again, which made her wonder whether Kakashi had returned to it.

Izumi walked up to the front door and knocked rapidly, hoping to get a response. He could tell her to go away, to never speak to him again. All she wanted to know was that he was okay.

"Kakashi?" She called out.

Nothing.

He must be somewhere else, Izumi concluded. One place she hadn't searched for him yet was the cemetery, though Izumi wasn't entirely sure if he would seek out his father now. It wouldn't hurt her to try to look for him there. She just hoped that at least one of her suspicions turned out to be true.

The cemetery was empty once she arrived there, her hair almost completely drenched from walking around in the rain for so long. In the distance, she could make out a small figure, standing alone at a grave without an umbrella. Her heartbeat began to increase, she just hoped that she had finally found him. At the same time, Izumi hoped it wasn't him, standing alone in the pouring rain without any cover.

Yet, there he stood. His silver hair was not gravity-defying anymore and instead lay against his head and forehead, completely wet from the rain. His clothes were also drenched, droplets of water dripping from them. Kakashi must be freezing by now. A slight tremble of his shoulders was visible, they bobbed up and down. He was shivering.

Izumi made her way over to him and held the umbrella above his head, saying nothing.

Slowly, she reached out with her hand and lifted his up, carefully opening his fist. Izumi pressed the hilt of the umbrella into his now opened hand for his fingers to wrap around. At her action, his cheeks took on a darker color underneath the black material. Then she shrugged off the coat she was wearing, wrapping it around his shoulders instead.

"You'll freeze." He protested, turning towards his friend.

Izumi shrugged, doing her best to give him a smile. "You are already freezing, that's my priority."

"You should be your priority, not me."

She frowned. "Unfortunately for you, you are my friend and that makes you my priority, Kashi."

Kakashi didn't reply, only staring past her shivering figure.

Izumi's hand reached out towards her, and she grabbed the umbrella from him, securing it in her own hand again. She made her way to his side and slipped her free arm around his, pulling him slightly into her side.

"Let's bring you home." She whispered gently before she took a step forward, taking him with her.

Kakashi didn't protest.

"You're probably staying at the house, right?"

"Yeah." His voice came out quiet, so uncharacteristic of him. Izumi felt like crying.

For most of their walk to the Hatake house, both children kept quiet. The brunette shivered in the cold, but tried to keep her movement to a minimum to not disturb the quiet boy beside her. He meanwhile frowned, staring ahead as he walked with her.

"Come back Kakashi, please." Izumi's voice was calm, but he could decipher the way it quivered at the last word.

Kakashi kept quiet, he couldn't bring himself to reply.

"You can always come back, I hope you know that. The room will always be your room, no one else's. You're always welcome."

"Thank you."

Hearing his voice made Izumi smile, just a little. She hummed to let him know that she heard.

In front of them was the door to the Hatake house, the one she had stood before already. They hurried towards the front door. Izumi gave Kakashi an expectant look, so he gave her the keys. She pulled her arm from his to unlock the door before she nudged him into the home, entering shortly after him.

Inside the home, tranquility ruled alongside darkness. From her spot by the now-closed front door, she couldn't see Kakashi. The light switch was difficult to find, but once Izumi did, she turned on the lights to reveal her friend, who wore a guilty expression as he looked directly at her.

"Forgive me, Izu." mumbled Kakashi, actively avoiding eye contact with his worried friend.

Never before had Hatake Kakashi called her anything else than her by first name, until now, that was. Izu. He had given her a nickname, one unique to between the two of them. It made her heart squeeze. She would forgive him any day.

"There is nothing to forgive, Kashi," Izumi shook her head, seeking eye contact, to see the charcoal of his eyes. "You could have said something, I was worried."

Izumi reached out to him and grasped his hand. He didn't object. Gently, she pulled him with her again to sit him down on the couch of the living room before she disappeared again. She barely remembered where his room was located from the few times she had visited, though managed to find it again. It looked as it did months ago: clean and personal. Her gaze was fixated on the closet, to which she rushed to get a dry sweater for Kakashi, so he wouldn't freeze anymore. She pulled out a green sweater, one she remembered her father having bought for the boy and tucked it underneath her arm to bring it to him.

"Here, put it on." She held the sweater out to him, giving him an expectant look. Once Kakashi had taken the sweater, she turned on her heel and made her way to a corner of the room, shrugging off her wet sweater. In the shirt she wore underneath, she shivered.

"Done." said Kakashi from his spot on the couch.

Izumi quickly turned back again, not without hanging her own sweater on a chair. She made her way over to the couch, taking a seat near him, crossing her legs as she sat down.

Her eyes met his, a thousand words left unspoken.

Kakashi could see the tears forming at her lash line, threatening to spill as he looked at her. Her dark brown hair was now a shade of black. It framed her expressive features, with wet strands clinging to her skin. The rest of her hair was tied up into two pigtails, a style she wore commonly. The pigtails too were drenched, losing their bounce. She didn't look like herself, or so he thought.

"Kakashi-" She hadn't called him by his full name in so long.

"I'm scared, Izu." He admitted, charcoal eyes leaving him open like a book. When someone had told Izumi that the eyes were the windows of the soul, it was no lie. They left him open.

"Of what?" She asked gently.

"Of getting attached," His voice cracked. "Of getting attached to all of you and then losing you."

Is that why he left?

"You won't ever lose me, Kashi, I promise you." Izumi's voice wavered and her bottom lip quivered slightly.

"How do you know that, Izu?" Kakashi's voice cracked yet again, this time more severe.

Izumi looked at him determinedly, cerulean eyes glossed. "I'll make sure you won't. I'll fight tooth and nail to make sure. I will never leave you."

Kakashi looked away all of a sudden, brows furrowing as he turned his head upwards to stare at the ceiling, blinking rapidly. Izumi was confused by his sudden dismissal, but chose to keep quiet. Instead, she kept a close eye on the silver-haired boy. His hands were tightened into fists which he kept close to his sides and his back was completely straight, tense. Next, she noticed the tears beginning to pool at his lash line, threatening to spill over any minute. He looked like, and most likely was, fighting a battle with himself. Brain and against heart, what was he supposed to do? His heart had won.

A tear escaped his lash line and at the same time, a sob racked through Kakashi's body. He raised his hand to cover his lips, now tilting downwards, but Izumi made a move to grasp it tightly in her own. It was cold, she noted. He must be freezing by now.

Charcoal met cerulean.

"It's okay." Izumi mumbled, her thumb moving over the back of his hand to give the boy some sense of comfort, to gift him at least some warmth.

Kakashi averted his gaze yet again, looking embarrassed. Izumi removed her hand from Kakashi's, who was now confused at the lack of warmth. She raised the hand which had held Kakashi's and placed it on the small of his back and the other near his neck to begin to pull him into a hug. When he made no movement to escape, Izumi pushed lightly against the spots where her hands were placed delicately to push the boy into her frame. He complied. Both of his arms snaked around her waist to connect on the small of her back, pulling her into him this time. She allowed him to do so.

To the silver-haired boy, Izumi felt warm. While her frame was smaller than his, she still somehow managed to bring warmth to his whole body, similar to as a blanket would. The hand which Izumi had placed on the lower part of his back began to move all of a sudden, up and down in a rhythmic motion, creating a friction which in turn made him feel warmer again. He almost flinched at the movement but Izumi's constant and soft murmurs of it's okay kept him from doing so. Her voice was like a melody playing over and over again, soft and incredibly soothing. It was okay, the melody wormed its way into his clouded thoughts,. It was okay, the melody told him. He was okay.

Kakashi felt safe.

"It's okay. It's all okay, Kashi. You are going to be okay."

Once, he had compared her to sunshine, and he would choose to make the same comparison yet again. Bright, warm, everlasting. The bright grin, which graced her soft features most of the time, more often than not gave him the urge to also smile a little. Undoubtedly, Izumi had an effect on him. She made him feel safe and, most importantly, brought him a sense of comfort when he needed it the most.

"I promise you."