A Child After All
For the few days which Kakashi had spent with the Yamanaka family in their home, a thick blanket of love had been brought around his shoulders. From the moment he had stepped one foot into the warm hallway of the home, he had been shuffled along to sit down and relax. If you need anything, just ask, Miho had told him, giving him a smile that was so motherly.
He had settled himself upon the cosy red couch in the living room, decorated with countless pillows in various other shades of red. Around his shoulders sat a vivid navy blanket, it was weighted, or so he noticed. He couldn't help but draw it tighter around his body as he sat there sometimes, unmoving and quiet until breakfast, lunch or dinner was served.
Most of the other time he spent outside, training. To him, training was an outlet of his emotions, of all he was feeling. Kakashi was a whirlwind of emotions that needed to find an outlet, an outlet in training. With every kick and hit he could feel himself become calmer, and yet his mind remained a storm of thoughts. He was determined, almost desperate, to make sure to not become the man his father had been.
Still, he couldn't resist the comfort presented to him once he returned to the place he temporarily lived in, where a majority of his belongings have been moved once he had agreed to stay. Once he stepped inside, taking off his dirtied Shinobi sandals in the process, Kakashi instantly felt warmer. The shade of yellow the walls were painted in had an effect on him, even if he wouldn't admit it out loud.
Inside, it smelt wonderful. He had learned quickly that Yamanaka Miho was a wonderful cook, a woman with a talent like barely any other. No matter what dish she had made for him to figure out his taste had been delicious, a gift for his taste buds. His stomach grumbled in approval.
Before Kakashi was even able to see the woman approach, Miho stood behind him with one of her hands gently placed on his shoulder. Softly, she guided him towards the dinner table, pulling out a chair for him to sit in. He sat down, and she pushed him towards the table where a steaming cooking pot sat.
"You must be hungry from all that training, Kakashi. Izumi and Fuji should be here in a second."
As though the missing members of the family had been awaiting their cue, they wandered into the room, both cerulean and olive eyes lightening up at the sight they were met up with. Just as quickly as they had entered, they sat themselves down at the table, with Izumi by Kakashi's side and Fuji across from the silver-haired boy.
"Today we'll have miso soup with eggplant for dinner if you don't mind, Kakashi," The Yamanaka woman smiled gently at him, placing down a steaming bowl filled with soup in front of him. He thought that it smelled nice. "It's Izumi's favorite, actually."
The girl in question was positively ecstatic at the sight of the miso, a huge grin having overtaken her features.
Kakashi grabbed the chopsticks by his bowl and gladly dug into the meal given to him. Once he had tasted the dish, he knew it would be his favorite.
━━━━
Dinner went by quickly. During the duration of it, Kakashi had not spoken much. Answering questions when directly addressed, but otherwise not contributing to the conversation. He didn't mind listening to the family talking, he enjoyed it more than being asked how he was feeling. He wasn't sure himself. Was he angry? Upset? Maybe both. The tranquillity offered to him was once, he gladly accepted.
After dinner, Izumi came over to him, carrying an apology with her.
"The room for you isn't prepared yet, so for the night you'll still stay with me." And it would be best for you to not be alone right now. Izumi rubbed her neck sheepishly, not wanting to make him uncomfortable.
Kakashi shrugged. "I have been staying with you for days now, another day is nothing."
The silver-haired boy didn't mind sharing the room with his friend, after all, it was her room he had suddenly moved into. Instead of allowing him to take the futon beside the bed as he had said he would, Izumi had done so instead, leaving him to sleep in her bed. Several times he had insisted on switching, but his friend was even more determined than he was, not allowing him to.
"You are the guest, Kashi. Stop rejecting." Izumi had told him firmly, pointing a finger at him in warning. Admittedly, that scared him a little, so much so that he complied with her wishes.
Bedtime came just as quickly as the sun set and the moon and stars came out. The sky twinkled breathtakingly when Izumi had decided to shut the peach curtains of her window, leaving her room in darkness. Only the little lamp beside her bed, pink and shaped like a flower, provided light, drowning the furniture in a blush pink tone.
Between the two it was quiet as both got ready for bed to then move to their respective sleeping spaces. On Kakashi's bed was a pair of pajamas placed. They were green with a pattern of little puppies on them. He frowned at the sight of them but still took them with him to the bathroom and changed into them before returning to the room. There he saw Izumi standing, wearing similar pajamas. Now he at least knew who the inspiration behind his new clothes was.
"I like your pajamas." Izumi giggled.
"They're very warm."
"I'm glad."
It got quiet between the two of them again, though the silence was not awkward or uncomfortable. They got settled in their spaces, the rustling of the sheets being the only sound heard in the room. Once Kakashi saw that Izumi had settled into the futon beside the bed, he reached out towards the flower lamp to turn it off. The sheets were soft as he cuddled into them.
"Izumi, I don't think I ever asked you about your Mud Release." His voice came out faint, barely above a whisper, but he knew she had heard him the way her futon ruffled in response.
"What do you want to know?"
Kakashi shrugged, even though she couldn't see him, only hearing the noise he made with the action. "I'm curious. You never mentioned it before."
"It's my mom's kekkei genkai. It is a combination of both water and earth. Together, they form mud." explained Izumi.
His brows furrowed. "Isn't that the same combination to create Wood Release?"
"Uh huh. My mom is of Senju blood. That is probably where it comes from. It's quite rare, actually, just as Wood Release is. My mom told me once that people believe its existence to be fabricated. Obviously it's not," Izumi chuckled at that. "People also think that Mud Release users are dirty, since when we use it often, our hands get caked with mud. But I personally don't mind much, the mud is very useful when working with flowers."
"Did you train using it?"
"Yes, with my mom. First she taught me how to create small amounts for garden work, until once I ruined her flowers quite badly. And then another time I spread mud all over the garden. There was a lot of trial and error. I like learning about it though. It's good to have an ace up your sleeve."
Kakashi recognized the opening her explanation gave and decided to try digging further. "Like when we trained, right? Why did you use it that day, anyway? You could have dodged the kunai."
At his question, she choked up a little, her lips pressing into a firm line.
Izumi reacted strongly to his question, but he wouldn't push his friend any further. He knew she needed time to express herself, and he gave her all the time she needed.
A faint whimper echoed in the silent room and Kakashi wanted to say something, but Izumi beat him to it. "I have chronic pain and sometimes it just overwhelmes me." Her voice came out uncertain and even cracked as she spoke. She felt like crying. She needed to be strong though, after all his father had just died, it wasn't her time to cry and be upset.
Kakashi wasn't sure what to say. Was he supposed to comfort her? Tell her that he is sorry? He ended up keeping quiet and stared up at the ceiling, listening intently to his friend as she shuffled in her futon, appearing distressed to him.
"I'm sorry, Kashi." She wiped at her eyes, the back of hand wet from the tears she had spilled.
"What are you apologizing for?"
"Your father just ..." She paused, avoiding to name the situation. "And here I am crying to you about my problems."
"I don't want to talk about him right now. I would rather listen to you." admitted Kakashi, still staring up at the ceiling, unmoving.
When people had asked him how he felt, he would rather not answer at all. The question irritated him, that everyone was so invested in his life, not giving him a second to breath. But with Izumi she would talk and he could listen, she didn't pressure him to talk and listened when necessary. It was the balance he needed and yearned for.
"Tell me about the chronic pains." Kakashi's voice was gentle, completely different from the nonchalant boy she had always known.
Her eyes widened in shock, in disbelief. A part of her had expected him to reject their friendship, to find her odd or to make a remark but none of that ever came. Instead, he lend her an ear, allowing her to explain herself and talk about her problems. A small smile replaced the frown she had worn.
"They're the worst sometimes," When the words left her mouth, she felt lighter at the admission. "They're like shadows, constantly there. Some days they were very mild, but others, like when we trained, were unbearable. Being on my feet and moving helps me, but they still appear. There are even times when I don't feel any pain, I like those best."
Kakashi had hung onto every word leaving her lips, listening to them like he would to his favourite song. It comforted him to not be alone, to have someone trust him, be vulnerable with him. Listening to Izumi talk made his worries vanish, only her on his mind.
"Are you the only one in your family with them?"
She nodded before remembering that he couldn't see her in the dark. "Yes, we don't have a record of ancestors having similar pains."
"Are there treatments for it?"
"No. My doctor advised me to stay active, which is why I enjoy training with you so much," A smile tugged at her lips at the memories of their trainings. "Then there is also medication, but I don't like it. Sometimes it makes me drowsy and tired, that's not how I want to spend every day."
"I see," He mumbled underneath his breath, a gentle smile of his own blossoming. "We can train again soon."
"You really want to?" Izumi audibly shifted on her futon, most likely turning.
"Sure."
"That would make me very happy, Kashi."
For a few moments it was silent, her words lingering in the space between them, left uncommented by the silver-haired boy. "It would also make me happy."
A bright smile overtook her features, delight coursed through her entire body. It was the first time he had taken the word or one of its synonyms into his mouth, admitted to feeling anything. Yet Izumi couldn't help to think why they had to suffer so much, why he had to undergo so much pain, he was only a child after all. Something was happening, his feelings were shifting. It was a start, and she would make sure to support him along the way.
"Good night, Kashi. Sleep well."
"Good night, Izumi."
For the first time in days, sleeping soundly was easy for him.