Growing Pains

The fact that once upon a time, Nanami had harbored feelings for a man with sunshine hair and electric blue eyes was more of a dirty secret she kept enclosed in her heart than anything. It was a fact that she would never dare to reveal to the man in question, especially since those feelings were long buried by now, only a remnant of the past, nothing more than that. The day he had grinned at her with delight obvious on his features, loudly announcing his engagement to his best friend, had been the day she had dug the grave of her feelings, the day she forever promised herself to not let them get to her.

If Nanami was entirely honest with herself, the strategy she had come up with was one that succeeded, more so than initially anticipated. With her diary and her one and only confident, the only listeners of her shame, she expressed her feelings in a more healthy way than longingly staring after the person she called her best friend. Instead, she looked the other way and allowed her lavender eyes to travel across the other male figures in the room, hoping to be entranced by the view of one of them.

Often enough, when she had done so, Minato nudged her ribs playfully, a teasing smirk playing on his lips as he looked at her. “Anyone here that you like, Nana?” In his eyes gleamed hope if not mixed with worry, his gaze solely focused on her .

Nanami allowed her gaze to wander one last time in a faux interested way, one she wished the blond beside her would not catch onto. Luckily for her, he did not.

She shook her head and bit her lip in thought. “I don’t think so.”

“You will find someone someday.” Minato had reassured her, giving her one of his usual wide smiles.

Smiling back at him was difficult to do, yet the ends of her mouth tugged upwards into a full grin, even showing teeth as she did so. With the most convincing expression she had learned to put on, she looked at Minato for a moment before turning away again, allowing for her lips to drop into a frown.

Nanami had found that someone, but to her misfortune, he was already taken .

*****

On the day of their wedding, it had been Nanami who had cheered the loudest for the newlywed couple. She had been seated in the front row, more specifically on the bench reserved for the groom’s family and closest friends, and sat so close to the couple that she could see Minato’s fingers tremble as he slid the ring onto his wife’s finger.

Was it nervousness or regret that made his finger tremble? The selfish part residing within Nanami hoped for the latter to be true, that he regretted marrying the Uzumaki with flaming red hair. That same part of her lived out the fantasy that shortly after the wedding the blond man would stand on her doorstep with a love confession in hand, declaring that he had gotten divorced, that he had made a mistake. Such thoughts were truly selfish of her, and so she knew. It was also why she kept them another secret, never telling anyone about how she felt when she saw her best friend getting married.

It was also why when a certain silver-haired student of his gave her a curious look in the seat beside her that she turned away immediately, not wanting to be interrogated by the small menace. Kakashi made her wonder how a child could pick up on the mask she wore, but a grown adult could not.

“Congratulations you two!” Nanami went in to hug both the groom and the bride as they stood in the full venue. The couple reciprocated the friendly gesture, the red-haired woman more fiercely than her partner did, as they thanked her profusely with wide smiles. “I wish you all the best.”

Nanami’s words were not of falsehood, not at all. Already years ago, she had made clear to herself that even if their relationship left her own heart aching for some kind of closure, she would not bear any ill will toward it. Even in her lovesick state, she recognized the fact that Kushina made Minato happy and that the woman was what the sunshine mad needed in his life. She was not going to intervene with that and destroy a genuine love.

Though it hurt her badly .

“Thank you, Nana-chan !”

It was rare that she had ever seen Minato look and sound so genuinely happy . If only she was the person who brought such glee to him, to make him feel such emotions, then she would be over the moon. Such realities would only ever live on in her thoughts, drowned by the actual reality of things: another woman was making him feel such things.

Nanami smiled at the couple as they ended the hug, keeping both of them at an arm's length as she cocked her head at the redhead, her eyes raking over the outfit Kushina wore. “Kushina, you look stunning!”

Again, no lies pushed past the honey lips of the golden-blonde because Kushina did indeed look stunning, breathtaking even. Her flaming red hair complimented her pale skin perfectly, and so did her violet eyes that shone with a delight that was usually seen on the woman. Without a doubt, Kushina was the most captivating person in the entire venue.

Kushina flushed at the words and smiled at the blonde woman. “You also look great, Nanami.”

Nanami let out a small chuckle, feeling bashful from the woman’s compliment. Then she threw a teasing wink at Minato, as friends did. “Be careful, Minato. I’m about to steal your wife .” The last word had a terrible aftertaste in her mouth, but she promptly ignored it.

Minato laughed at the words of his best friend, throwing his head back as he did. “You better not.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll do it when you aren’t looking.”

*****

When Kushina had announced her pregnancy shortly after the wedding, Nanami congratulated the couple with an expression of faux glee she had put on, the arms of another man wrapped around her waist as she stood before the couple.

Several times, her lavender eyes traveled down to the prominent display of Kushina’s pregnancy, her rounded stomach containing who would become Nanami’s godchild as she had been told.

How ironic , or so Nanami decided.

Promptly after the revelation, Kushina slipped out of Minato’s embrace and went over to Nanami, only to pull her out of the embrace of her partner. Renji gave her a prompt kiss on the cheek as a small goodbye before Kushina had a tight grip on the blonde’s hand, pulling her along into the kitchen in quick steps, or as fast as a pregnant woman could make her way there. Along the way, the blonde tripped over her own worries, her thoughts consumed with scenarios of what might happen next.

Had Kushina interpreted her gaze as one of longing toward her husband? Did the redheaded woman feel uncomfortable in her presence? If either of these cases came into action or something similar even, Nanami knew the next thing she knew was to run for the hills and never come back. She couldn’t do that to the couple, to make either of them feel uncomfortable with her presence. So she would run, she would leave.

Upon stopping in the kitchen, Kushina immediately closed the door behind the two of them before turning towards Nanami again, cocking her head as she looked at the woman curiously.

“You’re looking a bit green, are you alright?” Kushina appeared genuinely worried, with her lips twisting in a small frown. “Are you ill?”

‘ I’m not ill, just in love with your husband ever since we were children , that would have been the truthful answer, but not the appropriate one.

“I’m fine, Kushina. No need to worry.”

The pause between them was heavy.

“So,” Kushina began, raising a suggestive brow at the blonde. “Who is that fine man by your side?”

Nanami looked away from the woman for a moment, feeling her heartbeat slow down from the high it was experiencing. “No one special.”

As much as she didn’t like to admit it, her date Renji was no man in particular to her. They had met months prior in a café during her lunch break. The man had sat down beside her with a coffee in hand, a tired expression resting on his features. With more confidence than she had ever seen anyone muster up, he had introduced himself to her, immediately asking her out on a date. Now they were in their trial face once she had given him a chance, though Nanami was not sure for how much longer she could stand his confidence near a god-complex . Or maybe she was yet to see what lay behind his exterior. More dates would follow after that day, and so Nanami hoped that Renji would become someone she could rely on.

Undeniably so, Nanami had found herself attracted to the man with broad shoulders and hair as dark as the night sky. A romantic he also was, as she was able to find out during one of their earlier meat-ups. She just begged her heart that he would be the one to take the space occupied by another so the constant yearning would come to an end.

Kushina did not take that for an answer and pouted. “Come on, Nanami. I’ve got to know more than that!”

Nanami shook her head at the woman. “You are too curious for your own good, Kushina.”

“So I’ve been told,” laughed Kushina. “but I am curious, y’know ! You can’t keep me in the dark like that.”

“I can and I will.” Nanami was only messing with the redhead, not that she needed to know.

Kushina let out a whine.

“Fine,” Nanami sighed. “Renji and I have gone out on a few dates, and this is sort of like a test if we work well together.”

“Do you?”

“Honestly? I’m not sure,” Nanami answered. “I don’t see myself with him in the future. Yet , that is. I’m not entirely sure if we work well together or if our dynamic is off, couldn’t say. At this point, the alcohol is making my brain a little too fuzzy for me to recognize that. That’s beside the point. I’m not one to give up though. Maybe we’ll get along better once we know each other more … but - I just- I don’t- we’ll see.”

Kushina gave her a reassuring smile. “You’ll also find someone, y’know! Someone who will love you as much as you deserve to be loved!”

Once Nanami properly let go of the love she had chased for years on end now, the love stored away in her heart, she maybe would. Though her hopelessness was persistent as was her search, a search that ended more often than she preferred to admit in a failed date between herself and a man. It wasn’t even that her lessening attachment to a certain blond kept her from finding a proper partner, it was rather the fact that many men their age had been a part of the war and now shied away from dating, still recovering from it.

Nanami let out a small sigh before attempting to muster up a convincing smile. “I sure hope so.”

*****

After the Nine-Tails had gone rampant all across Konoha, it had been Nanami who cared for newborn Namikaze Naruto in the hospital while his father lay injured in his hospital bed, unable to move. For many days he lay unconscious in an induced coma while his extensive wounds were treated.

From the first moment she had laid her eyes upon the small child, identical sunshine hair to his father’s sitting in a mop atop his round head and his full cheeks decorated with delicate whisker marks, something, tugged at her heartstrings. Softly, she cooed at the child as she stood with him in her arms, listening to the soft giggles her godson let out in response.

The bundle of joy in her arms distracted Nanami from the shambles in which the village now lay. Following the death of both Uzumaki Kushina and the Third Hokage, a crisis had broken out with more and more deaths arising as a result of the attack. To consider the mood reigning to be grim and melancholic put things lightly. Distressed was a better way to put how things were.

Nanami focused again on the blond child in her arms, the same one who used his small hand to wrap it around one of her fingers, pulling it towards his small body. Several times he squeezed her finger as he gurgled loudly, his mouth opening in closing while his chubby cheeks moved along the motion.

“Hello, Naruto,” She cooed at the child, unable to find it in herself to stop while grinning widely at him. “Aren’t you a cutie? Yes, you are."

While Naruto could not respond in words, he responded with his actions. With the amount of strength he possessed, the baby pulled on her finger to nuzzle against it with his cheek, trapping it in the space between his cheek and neck. Then he relaxed in her hold and closed his eyes and began to let out sounds of glee.

At that moment, Nanami knew that she would always protect the small child in her arms and that she would always be there for Naruto. Even though the bundle of joy in her arms did not know it yet, he had caught her heart in his petite fingers. As far as it was within her power, she would make sure that he would always be able to laugh and wipe his tears away when necessary. So she had decided as she stood with the small child in need of protection .

But more so, Nanami had come to the conclusion that what she needed to do was to take a step back and properly move on . Not only would doing so be right of her, but she also saw it as fully fit. Minato did not need someone fawning over him, but instead a friend who stood by his side, who supported his actions.

“Your papa is … sleeping for a while, so until he wakes up, I’ll take care of you, Naruto.”

Nanami allowed herself to throw a glance at the unconscious figure of her best friend, his chest moving up and down with his constant breathing. Every time she saw his breath stutter, so did her heartbeat as she rushed over to his unmoving figure with clammy hands, beginning for his heart to not have stopped. Then she would hastily place her hands on a pulse point of his and check for the pulse to then check the vitals his machines displayed. That was what friends did, made sure the other did not die on them.

“I’ll be here for you.”

Especially after Minato woke up from his induced slumber with all the wounds inflicted on him left behind as mere scars and as he cried on her shoulder while she held him, did she know. For him, Nanami would be the friend he needed, no matter the cost she had to pay. With each time she rubbed his back in comforting circles and pulled him closer did she know that even now, she had to promise herself to be the best she could be.

The growing pains were harsh to endure, but for them , she would do it.