Minato tries not to puke and die
Minato was so nervous he had transcended the realm of mere mortals.
Today was the day that early academy entries were announced. Usually he hadn’t paid attention to it. Usually everyone failed the test and only the parents who had deluded themselves into believing their kids were the next Jiraiya or someone were surprised.
However this was a big deal for Minato. He had not been kidnapped in the amount of time the tests had been graded and evaluated and he had a sinking feeling that his luck was going to run out. If he didn’t pass he was probably going to be murdered.
Minato didn’t want to be murdered, so of course he made a back up plan. He had gotten up at the asscrack of dawn to go the board and stake it out when they posted the failings or hopeful passing. If he didn’t pass then he was going to fake it. He had swiped a pen from the caretaker's office holding his nose all the while as booze and vomit did not make for an appealing smell. If he didn’t pass he was going to copy the text and make it seem like he did.
Contrary to what seemed like popular belief crouching in a tree clutching a pen was not comfortable or fun. Minato was freezing his ass off and his fingers might get stuck due to his death grip on the pen.
He was going to take a short nap since whoever was posting the map was taking freaking forever and he was tired and hungry and jumping at every sound he heard in case he needed to stab someone with a black ballpoint pen.
The fact that the sun woke him up was probably bad.
Minato swore and flailed out of the tree. He let out an unholy screech as he plummeted down. He was going to die—oh gods he was too young to die—he did all this crap so he wouldn’t be murdered and now he was going to die—Minatos screwed and—
A Anbu materializes out of fucking nowhere and catches him in a bridal hold. Minato stares up into the wolf mask and wants to die a little. The Anbu stares at him and he stares back.
“Erm, could you put me down…?” Minato’s voice is high and shaky. Why is Minatos voice so high and shaky. He wants to crawl into a hole and die. Where are the child snatchers when you need them?
The Anbu plops Minato onto his feet and acts as a nice crutch when his legs almost gave out.
Minato scooted away and glanced up at the Anbu—who is still staring at him. That’s—that’s great, cool even.
He gestures with his arms and his hands flap a little. “I’m just gonna…” he makes a vague shape toward the bulletin board. “…yeah…”
Minato takes no shame in speed walking away.
When gets to the bulletin board his heart is thumping and his knees are shaking. Minato can safely say that he’s never been more terrified. He braces himself on the bulletin board and takes a few steadying breaths.
He looks at the bulletin board.
His heart drops to his knees. The list of people that passed is empty. Oh gods—he’s going to die. He-he can’t die—he doesn’t want to die—he-he doesn’t want to die.
He desperately scans the paper again praying that he missed something. He looks over the listed failures and sees his name on the list and—his name wasn’t on the list. Wait what.
Minato scanned the paper again, eyes ghosting over the listed failure names. He caught something. There’s a pattern—something odd about the way the names are listed. Some letters are a little bolder than the others, like someone had half gone over them with a pen again.
His brow furrowed and he whipped out his pen, he doesn’t exactly have paper so he improvises (because he’s smart..!) and holds out his arm. He jots down the slightly bolder letters. m n a k a e o m o h k e o f i e. That—that doesn’t make sense.
He squinted at the posted paper again and—ah if his hunch is right he might be slightly screwed.
He jots down the capital letters along with the slightly bolder letters and—oh dear.
mInaTO NAMIkaZe ComE tO hOkAGe oFfice.
…yeah he’s not doing that. He doesn’t want to fucking die—no way in hell is he going.
He glanced around surreptitiously and almost immediately made awkward eye contact with the Anbu that caught him. Oh dear kami—Minato's heart is thumping rather loudly.
He slowly backs away all the while maintaining eye contact. He mentally nods to himself and turns away to run—and the Anbu is suddenly holding his arm.
Minato is going to die.
Minato does not want to die.
It appears Minato doesn’t have a choice in his life because suddenly he’s in the Hokage office.
Minato is in the Hokage office.
Minato does not want to be in the Hokage office.
Minato skipped the physical exam and cheated during the written test. And he’s in the Hokage office.
Oh kami—the Hokage is sitting in a chair smoking a pipe looking at him—Yuhi Shinku is here and looking at him—
Minato thinks his heart might have stopped out of sheer terror. He’s gonna puke and—
“Namikaze Minato was it?”
The question registers and—that was definitely a power move right? Minato jerks his head up and down praying that he's not gonna die.
“Hm” The Hokage flips through a file somehow managing to look at him and the file simultaneously. Minato jerkily looks to the side and—yup Shinku Yuhi is still looking at him.
“Namikaze Minato, age five, birthday January 25th, son of civilian merchants who immigrated from Iwa.” The Hokage says through a puff of smoke. “You missed the physical exam, stole a written test packet and got a near perfect score on the written exam.”
The Hokage knows that Minato stole the packet—oh kami he’s going to die painfully.
“You also showed a capable intellect in your plan to steal an exam packet and the necessary physical ability. While it needed some help you showed great potential my boy.”
Minato has no idea if this is good or not. He really hopes it’s good.
The Hokage takes a considering puff of his pipe and looks at him under a critical eye.
“Yuhi Shinku here has recommended you to be admitted into early entry into the academy on probation and to be later evaluated on your performance. I agree.”
Oh thank kami—does that mean that—
“You will receive the stipend for as long as you are in the academy. Should you choose to, you will also be eligible to move out of the orphanage and into an apartment complex near the academy whose rental will be taken care of by the academy. Should you remain in the academy, the monthly stipend will stop once you become Genin.”
Relief crashed into Minato like a tidal wave. He nearly falls on his ass but the Anbu steadies him. He quickly clears his throat, “Thank you Hokage sama, I won’t disappoint you.”
The Hokage set his pipe on his desk and pinned him with a look. “Make sure that you don’t. You wrote that your dream is to be Hokage someday, I will be keeping an eye on you Minato. The academy starts in a month, and the required paperwork will be sent to you. I have great expectations for you, my boy.”
He made a gesture and Minato is suddenly alone and back outside in front of the board.
He falls to his knees still trembling. That had been the most terrifying fucking experience ever. His heart is still going haywire and he takes in deep breaths.
Minato shakily gets to his feet and looks around. No one in his immediate eyesight. He breathed a sigh of relief, he really didn’t need weird rumors about him if he was seen with Anbu.
Step one is complete. He has successfully enrolled in the academy and the Hokage knows he “wants” to become hokage.
Minato is not going to die today.