Kakashi/Reader
Pain. So much pain. You cursed yourself for getting hurt so badly, for using that jutsu. It was the end of your month-long mission and everything had gone so smoothly, almost frighteningly so. But then on the last day, you were ambushed. The battle had lasted hours, your comrades giving and receiving blows from enemy ninja while desperately trying to protect the noble you had been escorting. You could tell that your comrades were tiring quickly, so you made your decision. Weaving the forbidden hand signs, you used all of your chakra to turn into a massive wolf, a gift, or curse rather, from your ancestors of the Okami clan. With your remaining strength you lunged at the closest ninja and tore out his throat with ease, the adrenalin of battle mixed with your wolf instincts making you a deadly opponent. You cut through the enemy line, leaving eviscerated bodies in your wake, determined to save your comrades no matter the cost. You would willingly die for them.
Finally, you stalked up to the last enemy, your teeth bared and hackles raised. The man backed away from you until a tree stopped him in his tracks. Your snout was almost touching his face as you let out a feral growl, then cut off his scream by ripping out his throat. By now your silver coat was stained red with blood. You turned to your comrades and took a step towards them before collapsing, the jutsu wearing off, leaving you lying on the ground unable to move. The reason the jutsu was forbidden was because the user would most likely die after its use. In order to shift into a wolf every one of the user’s bones would break multiple times, their organs would shift and rupture, and their chakra would be almost fully depleted which left them in a dying state.
This brought you to where you were now. You laid limp in Asuma’s arms as he carried you back towards the village at top speed. Every movement he made sent blistering pain throughout your body. You could feel the pain from every broken bone, every ruptured organ.
“Hold on (Y/N),” You heard Asuma say, “Lady Tsunade will heal you.” Honestly, you didn’t know if she could heal you. The damage might’ve be too great. Your eyes glazed over with tears as you fought through the pain, thinking of the man who you would be leaving behind if you died. You had made a promise to Kakashi; to grow old together, that nothing in this world would take you away from each other. The both of you had lost too many loved ones already, that was why you made the promise. If you died, it would break him. You couldn’t die, you refused to.
“Please hurry.” You whispered through the pain, forcing yourself to stay awake, to keep on fighting your impending death. Memories flashed through your mind. Sakumo’s death. Obito’s death. Rin’s death. Kakashi walking alone. The way your heart hurt seeing him alone. That day in the rain, the two of you soaking wet, raised voices. “Just leave me alone (Y/N), stop caring about me! I don’t want you.” The tears that fell down your cheeks. “I can’t stop Kakashi! I love you!” The way he grabbed hold of you, his lips on yours. Bed sheets, skin on skin. Days spent laying in bed. Nights spent awake, holding each other as the nightmares passed. Kakashi on one knee, a ring in hand.
“(Y/N)!” The memories stopped as someone called out to you. Over and over again they said your name, but you were fading. This wasn’t the ending you had wanted. You wanted kids running around the house, you wanted to watch as Kakashi helped them train, you wanted to be there when they graduated from the academy. Slowly your thoughts faded as your world became dark.
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He couldn’t breath. He stood frozen at the gates of Konoha as Asuma carried (Y/N)’s limp body to the medical building. All he could think of were all the times he had messed up. Like that day in the rain. His words echoed through his head; I don’t want you. All of the times he had just walked past her when she only wanted to help him get better. When she only wanted to love him. 10 years. He could’ve been with her an additional ten years if he hadn’t fallen into such darkness. And now she was dying.
“Kakashi!” Gai said and shook him. “Pull yourself together. (Y/N) needs you to be there for her, more than ever before.” Gai grabbed Kakashi’s hand and pulled him towards the medical building. “I know you’re thinking of every time you messed up with (Y/N), but you need to start thinking about all the amazing times you’ve had with her.” Gai was right. Kakashi pulled his mind out of the darkness and entered the building, running desperately to where they were working on (Y/N). Just as he made it to the open door, he heard the heart monitor flatlined.
“Start chest compressions!” Tsunade yelled. Kakashi’s knees hit the ground hard as he watched (Y/N)’s still body lying on the table. This was it. She was gone.
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When you opened your eyes, all you could see was a vast dark space. Was this the afterlife? You turned to see a light in the distance. Walking towards it, you could make out a person sitting by what seemed like a fire.
“Hello?” You called out as you approached. The person didn’t turn, just motioned for you to sit down. You walked around the fire and sat down, looking at the person for the first time. Your eyes widened as you realized who it was. It was Kakashi’s father, Sakumo.
“My, (Y/N), how you’ve grown.” He said with a smile.
“Sakumo.” You started, “Well I guess I should call you Dad.” You lifted your hand to show him the ring Kakashi gave you.
“You and Kakashi are married?” He asked with wide eyes. You nodded with a smile. “I’m so glad. I had always hoped he would fall for you.”
“I just wish it didn’t have to end so soon.” You said with downcast eyes, tears gathering. “I know he isn’t going to be okay and I don’t want him to go back to the way he was.” You felt an arm slip across your shoulders as Sakumo came and sat beside you. This was an unknown feeling to you as both of your parents had died when you were a baby. You looked up at him with tears in your eyes.
“It’ll be alright (Y/N).” He said and hugged you.
“H-how do you know?” You asked as you began to cry.
“Because it’s not your time yet.” He whispered as everything faded to black.
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For fifteen minutes Kakashi was frozen in place as Tsunade tried to revive (Y/N). He begged the gods to let her live so that he could still be with her. Gai’s hand was on his shoulder as he tried to steer Kakashi away from the room, knowing full well that (Y/N) wasn’t coming back.
“Kakashi, she’s gone.” Gai said quietly. Kakashi still didn’t move as the tears began to flow freely.
“Lady Tsunade you need to call it.” He heard Shizune say.
“Just one more minute.” Tsunade replied, desperately wanting to save (Y/N). The monitor began to beep and Kakashi shot up and ran to the bed, wanting to be the first person that (Y/N) would see when she opened her eyes. Only, she didn’t.
“Why isn’t she opening her eyes?” Kakashi asked as he held her limp hand. “What’s going on?”
“Kakashi, (Y/N) has been clinically dead for over fifteen minutes.” Shizune said but Tsunade interrupted her to finish.
“That means that for those fifteen minutes, her brain wasn’t receiving any oxygen.” Tsunade paused. “Kakashi, (Y/N) is most likely brain dead.”
“No.” He said quietly. “I refuse to believe that.” He didn’t take his eyes off (Y/N) as he continued, “There must be a reason why she came back after those ten minutes. Someone sent her back, she’s going to be fine, she’ll wake up.” His voice cracked in sadness with every word he spoke. After a few minutes, Tsunade, Shizune and Gai left, leaving Kakashi alone in the room. Kakashi looked (Y/N) over. She was intubated to keep her breathing and had a feeding tube. Tsunade had managed to heal most of her broken bones and ruptured organs so the only thing that was left was for (Y/N) to wake up. Kakashi brushed a piece of hair out of (Y/N)’s face. “I will never give up on you (Y/N). Just like how you never gave up on me all those years ago.”
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For the next month, Kakashi spent most of his time in the pale hospital room caring for (Y/N). He changed her bedpan, gave her sponge baths, and fed her. Even after the month passed, he still believed that (Y/N) would recover, she had to.
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For a long time, you could hear what was going on around you. Tsunade saying that Kakashi should let you go, Kakashi arguing furiously with her, not caring that she was the Hokage. You could feel Kakashi’s touch on your pale skin, hear his words. You tried over and over again to open your eyes, but nothing worked, until today.
Slowly your eyes opened, burning from the blinding light of the hospital room. You turned your head to see Kakashi fast asleep, his head rested on the bed. Lifting your hand, you gently placed it on the top of his head and stroked his hair, tears pooling in your eyes. You couldn’t talk because of the tubes in your throat so touching would have to be enough for now. Kakashi stirred and looked up to see your eyes open.
“(Y/N)!” He said with wide eyes. “Hey! Someone! (Y/N) is awake! Someone, come and help!” Kakashi yelled frantically while gripping your hand. Your eyes never left his as people rushed into the room and began to take your vitals and remove the tubes that were inside of you. Tears fell from your eyes as you watched Kakashi cry. He leaned down and pressed your hand against his forehead, sobbing into the bed. Your throat was too raw to talk so instead you gently caressed his hair with your opposite hand, comforting him as best as you could. Lady Tsunade rushed into the room and started asking you a bunch of yes or no questions seeing as you could only nod your head at this point. After the flood of people left the room, you looked closely at Kakashi. He had bags under his eyes from lack of sleep and his usually prefect hair was dishevelled. He lifted his head and you rested your hand on his cheek, running your thumb across his soft skin.
“I never once gave up on you (Y/N).” He whispered as he rested his hand on top of yours. “I knew that you were strong enough to survive. I love you so much (Y/N).” You desperately wanted to say those words back to him but couldn’t. Instead, you slowly sat up and patted a spot on your lap. He needed to sleep. “Are you sure? Nothing hurts anymore?” You nodded and patted the spot once more. Kakashi climbed into the bed and laid on his back, his head resting in your lap. You bent over and kissed him on the forehead, and then with a gesture you motioned for him to sleep. You stroked his hair once more and watched as the man you loved fell asleep. You rested your hand on his heart and felt it beating. As long as you were alive, you would make sure that his heart would keep beating, no matter what.