Just when Wan thought that her life was finally stable, eveerthing falls apart. She loses her job and also her only family, her loving father. Moving back to her hometown was something she never planned to do after she worked so hard to get away from that place, she had bigger dreams that her small hometown couldn’t fulfill for her, so she worked diligently to live her life in the bustling city of Bangkok.
Usually when she came back home, which was few years back she was always filled with a sense of relief, and peace that only her father could give, cause home is all about people not the house. This time the journey was filled with sorrow and loss, she couldn’t stop thinking how everything changed over a span of short time. Standing in front of the ancient store ( not exactly ancient but old, Wan thinks it’s ancient cause as long as her memory stretches back she was told the family had it for generations), she is filled with immense emptiness and pain, she could almost see her father sitting behind the counter and managing the store, but now all that is left is an empty chair and store. She came back to the town, to take care of the store that her father has left for her. When she had bigger dreams the store felt so small, a place that was not for her, but it was a store that her father held onto, he cared for it with all he had and now it was her turn to do it.
Settling in was already a lot of task and then reading that local marts are in crisis due to all the big shopping mart chains taking over, Wan once again felt like her bad luck is never ending. She looked around the drawers to find a packet of cup noodles labelled with a regular 11p.m. customer. Wan was curious and just when she thought of closing the shop she heard footsteps, she grabbed a baseball bat she found nearby,thinking of an intruder, and walked to the entrance of the shop ready to hit, but luckily the said intruder turned around holding a cat. That’s how Wan first meets Maewnam.
Maewnam was everything Wan was not, optimistic, bright, bubbly and expressive. For someone like Wan who was very measured and planned, she just encountered a girl that was totally opposite of her, and nothing in her universe would have prepared her for the sun Maewnam was. Unlike Wan, Maewnam was just a small-town girl, whose life revolved around helping people with anything in the town, she was loved and adored by everyone from the elderly to the youngsters. Being adored by everyone was something she she was used to, her life was build with small moments of happiness, she found love in nook and crannies, in littlest of things and gestures, life wasn’t about something big for her. Yet she always felt, a lack of direction, a need to be someone, but she couldn’t find her purpose. Wan was something she thought she could understand but no she couldn’t, but that didn’t stop her from going after her,there was something about Wan that immediately made her want to be there for her, and just like every other time she followed her heart. She was known for her stubborn head and once she sets herself on something she will do everything to get it and this time it was Wan, she knew she wanted Wan from the very first moment.
Wan never met someone so bright and bubbly as Maewnam it’s as if sun has personified itself into her. Wan knew she was too bright for her gloomy life so she did what she thought she needed to do and that’s pushing away Maewnam, but her heart has unexpectedly started to melt by the warm sun rays.. Her previous dating experiences weren’t very flowery, she was told that she seemed very cold-hearted, and lacked emotional expressiveness that made her seem very not-romantic.
Maewnam became a part of the daily life for Wan, and Wan knew that there is no holding back from her feelings anymore. She just couldn’t wrap her mind around how Maewnam could love her so much. So Wan goes through a series of realizations to finally realise that she is already back home, and that’s Maewnam.
Maewnam who just thought that she will wander aimlessly through life finds her purpose in Wan, through her own journey of realizations.
After the first meeting with Maewan, she became a daily occurrence in Wan’s life a constant in the midst of her ever changing life, she would come regularly to help her out with the store, she could feel herself slowly warming up to her. Stacking drinks in fridge was just any mundane task but with Maewan there is always added chaos, laughter and energy with everything. It’s like Maewnam was always aware of what’s going on in Wan’s mind, so when Wan turned towards the glass door that was between Wan and Maewnam, which was now looked frosted due to condensation, and saw Maewnam has already written ‘Fightto’ with her fingers, she couldn’t help but smile. She could never understand how Maewnam always got what was going on in her head when she was previously called out for how unexpressive she was. She felt a little at home, cause home is where your worries and thoughts are seen through without a need to be spoken aloud, and Maewnam knew that Wan was stressed about the store and the sudden change in her life.
Wan realised that there is no age for learning, and she keeps learning from Maewnam everyday. All her life she seeked and chased after the bigger picture of life, she pushed herself to achieve that larger life and nver stopped to focus and held any importance to the small moments of life. Maewnam stood at the complete extreme spectrum of her thoughts, she was so satisfied and happy with her just simple life where she goes about helping everyone and be happy with it, Wan couldn’t phantom this selflessness. When Maewan makes it her personal agenda to make sure Wan goes with her around the town, Wan sees how little things can actually bring happiness. So Wan now cherishes every little moment as she realises that in her race to large life, she missed by such small important moments. She laughs with Maewnam, and let her take care of her, have playful fights with her around her house and store. After such a day that begin with Wan wanting to rearrange and clean her room, she doesn’t realize how she ends up in a position where she and Maewnam are jumping on the bed engaged in a pillow fight, sounds of laughter fills the entire house, any outsider passing by can definitely say that that’s a happy house. When exhausted from all the fun, both Wan and Maewnam lay down side by side cathing their breaths, and Maewnam holds Wan’s face as if she is holding her entire universe in her hands Wan doesn’t stop nor retracts or tease her, she let her be, she heart calms down under the stares and hold of Maewnam, she lets herself feel and not run away. She sees the acceptance and adoration for who she is in Maewnam’s eyes. Once again Wan feels a little more at home, cause home is where you are accepted and loved with all your sharp broken edges.
Love has always been something deep red, full of large bold declarations and gestures for Wan. Now Wan realises that love is a solf golden glow, that feels like the first sunrays of early morning that slowly warms your heart and soul. Movies and t.v’s has shown love to Wan as something big that’s need some grand celebrations, her previous partners also told her about how love is all about big words, big plans and big actions, but with Maewnam it was nothing like that. Maewnam didn’t hesitate to tell Wan about her feelings, but it wasn’t with some grand bouquet of flowers or some exotic date. It was always in the most randomest of moments. Like when Wan was cleaning the shelves in the storeroom, she knew she looked anything but beautiful, which dust all over her and hair tied into messy bun, sweat on her face, she could feel eyes on her and when she turned she saw Maewnam looking at her with such adoration, that it baffled Wan for a second, all Maewnam did was smile brightly at her and say out loud ‘ Khun Wan, I love You” and Wan felt that maybe she is finally at home, cause home is where one is loved it moments that are mundane, regular and not-so-beautiful, one is just loved regardless.
Wan once again feels like she is lost, standing in the middle of her room, she could hear her and Maewnam’s laughters echoing, their funny banters, those are in past, but now everything is falling apart, just when everything felt that it was stable once again she is suffering. Days back she got the notice that her store would be replaced by mouse mart, she thought her dreams are getting shattered but Maewnam was with her to assure her. But now she is completely alone. She felt so betrayed when she came to know that Maewnam’s parents have a role in this, she was so mad and broken, she told maewan that she doesn’t want to see her again. She saw her walking away.This one truth shattered her trust.
Amongst all these there was another truth ,the truth that Maewnam is her home, the one she loves. Maewnam came like a sun whose gravity grounded her earth, and she started to orbit around her. The sun that gave life to her, the sun that bloomed flowers in her barren heart, the sun that lighted up her world, the sun that she was bound to tilt towards. Wan remembers how Maewnam made her own dream, a part of her too, the store became their dream,Maewnam was there in every step encouraging her, supporting her and loving her.
Maewnam is her home, cause home is where you and i becomes we and us, where everything becomes one, a dream for one is a dream for all. This is the biggest truth of Wan’s life that in the ocean of life these large where you get lost easily her whale found a sea,l Maewnam that guides and swims alongside her.
Wan runs she isn’t aware nor bothers to care where she is running to, all she knows is she is going home, to Maewnam. Just like destiny has led her to her sun, her feets has led her to her Maewnam. She founds her sitting on the swing of the local park that they both visited often. Maewnam is startled and shocked seeing Wan, she was least expecting her, when she was told to not meet her again. Maewan missed Wan, and seeing her only reminded her of the dreadful week that passed by without being near Wan and the guilt of hurting her.
Wan lets her tears fall that she had been holding back for so long, she allows herself to feel the pain of missing Maewnam, that she kept denying to herself in the past week. A week without Maewnam, made her realise that she doesn’t want to be away from her even for a day. She desperately hugs Maewnam, and finally say the words that she has been long to say for such a long time.
“I am HOME”
Maewan holds Wan in her arms, as if trying to piece back every part she has broken. Maewan was aware of how much Wan felt homeless, and she cried tears of relief that Wan felt at home finally, when she saw her feel so lost throughout. So she says what she wanted to say.
“Welcome HOME”
Wan holds Maewnam’s face, as if holding something so precious, like a crystal ball that held answers to her every question. ‘ i love you, and that’s what i have been hiding and betraying myself with, but i don’t want to run away now cause i am finally at home, you are everything i never asked for, you are everything i never knew i needed, everytime i thought that i am not capable of being loved, you proved me wrong at every instance, i am sorry, please forgive me that i told you to stay away from me when i don’t want to be anywhere without you. I would swim through this life with you, together as one. You are my sun, you light up my world, and ground my earth to revolve around you. Please let me be in your orbit once again?”
Maewnam couldn’t hold back herself anymore, she tiptoed and kissed Wan, she kissed trying to put in her every thought and feeling into it, her apologies, her love, her trust and everything. “ i love you too, you are my home too, i always want to be with you. I am sorry i thought that not telling you would help me protect you, but i ended up hurting you. I am so sorry. Please if i am your sun, then i beg you to keep orbiting around me, i don’t want to be alone without my earth.”
Wan finally filled the emptiness in her, with the woman names Maewnam. And Maewnam found her selfishness with Wan, never wanting to be apart from her.
Epilogue:
Maewnam tries to sleep, but she can’t she has lots of thoughts, but mostly happy one. She turns to her side surprised to see Wan already looking at her, with a soft smile.
“Why are you not sleeping yet?” Maewnam asked
“ cause you are not sleeping yet” Wan replied softly.
There is a certain softness in this quite moments that made Maewnam’s herat constrict and expand at a same time.
“Do you believe in alternate universe?” implored Maewnam
“As in multi-verse?” replied Wan.
“Yes, i was thinking how we would be in a different universe with different life.”
“ and what did you imagine”
“How would it be if we met in hight school, you having a crush on me and decide to text me as someone else to get close to me, and i would eventually fall in love with you. You would be a clumsy, shy,and awkward, and i would be the popular, bubbly one.”
“You imagined me as a loser!!”
Maewnam just giggled.
“Or how about you become a hot playgirl model and i become your stylist, who keeps rejecting you but is so into you”
“You do have some wild fantasies! Me as a playgirl and model? Seems quite interesting. But one thing will always be constant in all the different universes.”
“What is that?” Maewnam was now curious.
Wan leaned closer touching their foreheads, she smiled softly, “ that in every universe you would be my home”
Maewnam’s eyes started to water, she pushed forward connecting their lips into a slow gentle kiss.
“And in every universe, i will always welcome you saying ‘welcome back to your home.’
‘