a heart in the woods
Maybe he should have told Hashirama where he was going and what he was doing that night when he tried out the whole experiment. But this wasn’t exactly bad.
Maybe .
There was a bit of uncertainty when he crossed paths with a very familiar person, who he thought to be dead. Or, actually, two people.
He first recognized and acknowledged Izuna first, because his death was still fresh in his mind and Madara’s presence would never let him forget it. Izuna was alive and breathing, and healthy. No sign that his blade had even crippled him. And next to him, another person that was impossible to ignore, was Itama . A grown Itama. A mature Itama. An adult Itama. And everything came crashing down on his head, while he ignored Izuna’s shocked choking and Itama’s gasping horror.
The experiment. He thought it failed. Thought the new time-jutsu flunked and he didn’t travel anywhere.
Tobirama knows that he is not in the pure lands, chakra signatures before him were there and real. That and they were breathing, and he could pull at the water in their veins if he so wished. Then, where had he traveled to?
“Nii-san! I thought you knew not to leave the house!?” Itama whisper-yelled and came right into Tobirama’s space. Itama latched onto him, and Tobirama felt light-headed. Itama was alive and had survived, but how?
“...Itama, this is your brother?” Itama winced at that and seemed to refuse to acknowledge Izuna’s presence, or question for that matter. The grip Tobirama’s little brother had on him tightened with strength that made warmth and pride bloom in his chest. Itama had grown strong enough to protect himself and hold his own, and Tobirama fantasized about it at night when he let himself think of a life for the four of them, had they all lived to be old enough to live in the village.
After a moment, Itama snagged Izuna’s arms and looked him straight in the eyes. Tobirama could feel a brick drop into his stomach and made an advance to pull Itama away, to get between him and Izuna. But, right as he attempted to do so, Itama spoke.
“Izuna you can’t take him away. He’s my Aniki!” And all around them, the air fell silent except the constant reminder that they were in the middle of a forest. Izuna looked between Itama and Tobirama, and something about the way his gaze lingered on Tobirama made curiosity spark in spite of himself.
“Itama, I- I would never- Never hurt your brother-” Tobirama wanted to scoff, but all he did instead was furrow his brows together and glare. Izuna had been so hellbent on making sure the Senju should be repelled and defeated, that it was half the reason he had to tell Hashirama that peace wouldn’t work. The other half was to remind him of the truth of that whimsical idea that Madara was still his best friend despite Madara choosing his family, his clan over Hashirama. And Madara had continued to choose Izuna over Hashirama even when they arrived at peace, and as long Izuna kept himself from choosing peace and trust, true peace will never be reached.
It made something boil and break somewhere in his heart. He wanted to hate and feel fury for his one and only rival. He was so self-absorbed that he couldn’t understand why Tobirama's older brother wanted peace so badly, why even Izuna's own damn brother allegedly wanted it too. Yet, Madara would never betray his brother, his last living brother. He was the reason why the peace Tobirama had worked so hard to establish, the dream the Hashirama and Madara wanted to bring to life and Tobirama tried to, fell apart at the seams. While Tobirama chose Hashirama and Hashirama chose Madara and Madara chose Izuna, Izuna instead chose war. And that seemed to replace his fury with despair. He doesn’t know why Izuna kept choosing war, but from how Izuna was always, always , so fixated on fighting Tobirama, made him think that the whole problem at its root, was himself.
It was ironic. He had always thought that peace was going to be decided by Hashirama and Madara, not by their younger brothers.
His eyebrows twitched to be raised as he saw Izuna wince under his stern, calculating glare. Clearly, wherever his experiment had landed him, something was different. That, and it seemed that he and Izuna had never met, and that his otōto-san and his rival were acting like long-time friends.
“Your clan kidnaps people with red eyes and they are never seen again! As my friend and my rival, Izuna, I don’t want to expect the worst from you, but I won’t allow you to do whatever it is that you do to your victims to my nii-san!” Itama blurted out, this time with no intention of being quiet. And, while Izuna looked horrified and a little shameful, Tobirama’s mind just short-circuited.
Where in the world had his experiment landed him?
Despite the headache he could feel tugging at his temples, the curiosity from before bloomed hundred-fold. Gods above, why was he like this? And he shut his eyes, helping him tune out Izuna’s and Itama’s increasingly heated debate. Because all this considered, Izuna sounded like he was negotiating while Itama was torn between refusal and his courtesy as a friend. Although, he thought back on Itama’s and Izuna’s reactions to him so far. Itama was horrified upon first seeing him, not because he thought he was dead, but because Izuna was with him and saw him too and was probably afraid Izuna would kidnap him (or something-). Izuna was shocked and choked on his own air, like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. … And that made sense for his original assumptions and now his new ones.
From Izuna’s reactions and fluctuations in his chakra signature, whatever this business is with red eyes (and he’s definitely going to look that into later-), naturally born red eyes apparently, was serious and maybe even flattering. He studied his memories better, and there in Izuna’s flicker was awe and … desire . That was in itself dangerous for an Uchiha, and even more dangerous to whoever that was aimed at. And Tobirama’s blood went cold at that thought, before he even felt Izuna’s flare an enormous amount of chakra. He knew that flare, Izuna had activated his sharingan and he felt it study him, engraving him in memory. After schooling his expression in peaceful neutrality, he wrenched his eyes open and looked directly into Izuna’s gaze.
… He did not expect Izuna’s gaze to focus even as his breath hitched. Or the tidal wave of arousal in his chakra signature.
Damn his curiosity, he was fucking vibrating with agitation. On the inside.
“What happens now that you’ve seen me, Uchiha-sama?” And that last part came out by accident, mostly from the confrontations with Madara, but here, with Izuna and Itama, it felt easier. Izuna’s eyes widening from surprise and Itama’s gasp made mirth tickle his lips. Feels like ages since he’s actually had some fun and a genuine laugh.
“I present you to the clan and we court you.” Izuna blurted out, apparently losing his mind-to-mouth filter as Itama whipped his head back to face him in obvious protest. Tobirama, on the other hand, felt like he was just slapped in the face. Twice.
The headache was definitely more ferocious now than before, tugging at the entire crown of his head.
Leave it to the Uchiha to make some unfathomable reason to put in place a tradition to kidnap and court people born with red eyes. Tobirama was feeling more exasperated with the Uchiha everyday he got to know them more than he already does, which was already saying something as Tobirama never allowed himself to do anything in halves especially when it came to knowledge. Although, he never took them for bigotry. Well, all that much. He took them more for prudes, especially with their ridiculous outfits.
“That seems harmless, enough.” Tobirama observed, and Izuna’s eyes seem to have widened even more. Laughably more.
“You’d come willingly?” Izuna asked him, disbelief and shock tempering down his desire and arousal. Although Tobirama wasn’t able to give him an answer before Itama voiced his thoughts.
“Aniki! No! What are you thinking?” Itama exclaimed, terror and panic reeked out of his chakra signature and it made Tobirama wince. He felt his brother die, and he couldn’t do anything about it. It destroyed him more than anything, even more than Hashirama’s careless, thoughtless words could ever do. Yet, it seems their roles have been switched … well, somewhat. Itama was overprotective of him instead, and–oh.
If Izuna is only meeting him for the first time, that means Tobirama was hidden away in shame or fear because of the Uchiha’s tradition and the reputation that came with being born with red eyes. A bad reputation if Itama’s fear from before and right now is anything to go by.
This explains things a lot more.
“Itama.” He doesn’t remember using this tone in a very long time, and he has only been using it sparingly. It’s a gentle tone and thick with fondness, he’s only ever used it with his students and before that his younger brothers. He sees the moment the two before him give him their undivided attention, and then proceeds. “I thought Izuna-sama was your friend. A friend with high praise, knowing you.”
Itama flushes a dull pink in embarrassment, an expression Tobirama knows by heart that means Itama has confided a secret and knows it’s being addressed, if indirectly. Which (Tobirama is not oblivious and would be a folly for a shinobi if he couldn't read people) is what Tobirama guessed from the way Itama acted on Izuna’s behalf. Despite Tobirama being locked away from prying eyes, he suspects, Itama has been telling him all about his experiences and the people he’s met. Especially if it was a friend that Itama regards as he does with Izuna. (This Itama with this Izuna.)
Izuna on the other hand stares at Itama and then back at Tobirama, then flushes a little pink himself and averts his eyes.
Hnh. Flattering.
Itama sighs then says through a weary smile, “Hashi and Kawa aren’t going to like this turn of events, nii-san.” Tobirama’s heart feels like it might stop.
Izuna squawks at Itama but he catches himself and softens when he glances at Tobirama, who still looks incredibly calm and warm in demeanor. Itama smacks him on the arm and badgers him about being extremely nice to his aniki. Izuna counters him with the consent Tobirama gave him was enough for him to die. And they keep at it while they make their way back wherever home might be. Tobirama is a step after them, not entirely paying attention.
And Tobirama’s heart decides that, if this experiment was just a fluke and he is just dreaming right now while lying in an empty meadow, an easy kill for anyone and anything nearby, where everything feels so easy and too good to be true, he’d rather die still in this dream.
It’s a better outcome than waking up to reality .