He is 10 when he first meets her.
It’s his first day at the Ninja Academy. Naruto is absolutely beaming with excitement – today he can finally start working towards his goal of becoming Hokage. Today, he’s going to prove to everyone what a hot shot he is. Today, he’s going to make friends.
He sits at his desk with his arms behind his head, feet swinging back and forth giddily. He glances at the spot next to him, excited at the prospect of his first new friend - whoever they may be - sitting next to him.
Slowly but surely, his new classmates are flooding in. He tries to make small talk, but instead they give him strange looks. None of them seem to share the same excitement about starting their first day at the ninja academy. No one even tries to sit in the seat next to him.
He starts to feel a little dejected but reminds himself it’s only the first day. Iruka-sensei walks in just as the bell rings and the blonde has officially given up on anyone taking the seat beside him.
Just as soon as Iruka clears his throat, ready to address his students, a frantic girl comes rushing in. Her hair is pink and kind of a mess, with stray hairs sticking out everywhere. She’s blushing furiously and clutching her books to her chest as if her life depends on it.
“S-sorry I’m late sensei!”
The class laughs at her, causing her to blush harder. Her eyes frantically search the room before spotting the empty space next to Naruto and she quickly makes her way to it. She plops down beside him, still ducking her head in embarrassment.
Iruka-sensei finally begins his speech and starts to write on the chalk board, but Naruto isn’t sure what he’s writing or speaking about. He can’t focus on his teacher, because a new rush of happiness has just taken him over. Looks like he has a desk mate after all.
✽✽✽
He is 11 when he realizes he has a crush on her.
Sakura and Ino are acting strange today. Normally, the two are connected at the hip but today they sit on opposite sides of the classroom. Sakura has returned to her previous spot right next to him – she hasn’t sat beside him all year long, not since she and Ino became close – and he’s caught her sending glares towards her friend.
Naruto greets her enthusiastically, but she seems to be exasperated with him. Still, she at least speaks to him. A lot of his other classmates don’t.
She chides him for not paying attention in class, and she helps him with their worksheets (although she seems a bit annoyed with him, he can’t really tell.)
She’s also answering every single question Iruka-sensei asks today. Even before he can finish getting the words out of his mouth, Sakura’s hand is in the air, ready to respond. Every time she gets an answer right, she chuckles almost evily while shooting an icy glare at Ino. They’re definitely in some sort of competition and although Iruka-sensei seems frustrated with them, Naruto can’t help but find it exciting. Who knew Sakura-chan had such a competitive side.
“Okay class, can you tell me what Shinobi rule-“
Already, Sakura and Ino have their hands in the air. Iruka rolls his eyes and lets out a sigh before fixing his line of sight on the two girls. His gaze hardens before he continues, “number 25.”
Surprisingly, Sakura hesitates and for a second, her hand waivers. Iruka notices and turns his head towards her blonde rival. “Ino,” he beckons.
“Shinobi rule number 25!” The girl starts, smiling widely, “states that-“ and then she freezes, her eyes widening at the realization that she doesn’t know the answer after all. “It-it states..”
She’s panicking and the class starts snickering in response.
“Enough. You were so concerned with beating Sakura that you raised your hand to answer a question you didn’t even know the answer to. How foolish,” he reprimanded.
At this, Naruto heard a loud, boisterous laugh next to him. Sakura was doubled over, clearly laughing at Ino’s expense. He wasn’t sure what was so funny but he found her laugh infectious, and he couldn’t resist the urge to smile at her.
“You knew that answer,” he hears in a calm, quiet voice behind him. He knows that voice well, it belongs to that jerk Sasuke.
Sakura snaps her head up and looks behind her, blushing at Sasuke’s acknowledgement. “I-yes, I did,” she says nervously, but proud. Naruto is confused, if she knew the answer why didn’t she say it?
They return to their work but Naruto can’t help but peek glances at the pink haired girl next to him. She’s still smiling to herself even though she didn’t technically beat Ino.
“Say, say!” He whispers to her, trying to get her attention.
Her smile instantly vanishes, and her eyebrows pinch together in frustration, “What is it Naruto? You’re going to get us in trouble!”
“If you knew the answer to Iruka-sensei’s question, why didn’t you say it?”
Sakura’s eyes widen and she looks down at their desk, a frown adorning her features. Finally, she replies in a soft tone, “Shinobi rule #25. A shinobi must never show their true feelings.” She then looks back up at him and confides, “I don’t like it.”
Sakura focuses her attention back on her work and Naruto blinks at her in confusion.
He’s learned a lot about Sakura today. He’s learned that she’s competitive. He’s learned that’s she very honest about how she feels. He’s learned that she looks cute when she’s blushing.
He’s learned that he has a crush on her.
✽✽✽
He is 12 when he thinks he’s finally impressed her.
He hasn’t had much time to think about Sakura lately, his thoughts have been circling back to Gaara ever since their fight. Until today, when the most magical thing happened to him.
He’s spent the last year trying to impress his female teammate, but she seems to be infatuated with the other member of their team. That doesn’t discourage Naruto though, he knows one day Sakura will surely see that he’s her soulmate.
And the smile Sakura gave him today just fueled his belief.
She was talking to Sasuke about something, he’s not really sure what, those two have a lot of conversations to themselves. Naruto sometimes finds it annoying, but he’s convinced Sasuke couldn’t carry an interesting conversation for his life and Sakura-chan is surely always bored to death just waiting for Naruto to join in and save the day.
But today, during one of their little private conversations, Sakura looked up at him and met his gaze and gave him a smile that had his palms sweating and heart racing. She had a strange look of gratitude in her eyes and Naruto’s convinced she’s never looked prettier.
✽✽✽
He is 13 when he realizes that he doesn’t know how to comfort her.
It’s been weeks since Sasuke left Konoha and nothing feels the same to Naruto. Team 7 feels like it has a giant, gaping hole in it. The thought of his absence makes Naruto clench his hand around his chopsticks. Despite having a fresh, steaming hot bowl of ramen in front of him, Naruto has lost his appetite. This seems to be happening quite often now that his best friend is gone.
The blonde is caught off guard when he feels a hand on top of his. He drops his chopsticks in shock and jerks his head up to meet his teammates gaze. Sakura has a sad smile on her face, and she doesn’t have to say anything for Naruto to read the meaning behind her eyes.
He chuckles anxiously, trying to ease the tension in the room.
“Y’know Sakura-chan, when Sasuke comes back, I’m going to make sure that bastard treats the whole team to ramen. Believe it!”
Sakura smiles back at him, but it doesn’t seem to reach her eyes. Still, she responds to Naruto’s statement.
“Yeah, when he comes back..” She trails off.
Naruto has a hunch that Sakura is losing faith in their teammate, and he starts to feel sick. Sakura is the only other person who shares the same sentiment that Sasuke would return. If she’s starting to doubt it too, what does that mean for them?
She starts making idle chatter about other members of the Konoha 11. Naruto’s not sure if she’s trying to distract him or herself. She keeps playing with her own food, and it’s apparent she’s lost her appetite as well.
The blonde wants to reach out to her. He wants to put a comforting arm on her shoulder, hug her, say the right thing..but he’s not sure how. He’s already made a promise to her, a promise to bring their teammate back. But he can’t just keep rambling on about his promise, he needs to do something. He just doesn’t know what to do anymore.
✽✽✽
He is 15 when he realizes that he loves her.
He’s only been back in Konoha for a few weeks and his mind is spinning around all the different changes among his companions. Hinata’s hair is longer, Akamaru has gotten bigger, Shikamaru definitely has something going on with Temari, and Sakura…Sakura is so different. But he’s not complaining.
He thinks she’s beautiful.
He’s always thought she was cute, but now..now one look at her quite literally knocks the breath out of his lungs. She’s still wearing her hair at her shoulders, which admittedly surprised him. He was sure the Sakura he knew would have grown her hair back out, but he’s starting to realize the Sakura he once knew is of the past.
This Sakura is still blunt, but she seems to choose her words a little more carefully. She still isn’t afraid to knock him over if he upsets her, but her punches are much harder now. She’s even smarter than ever, something that he didn’t think was possible, and she’s so strong. Her strength both scares and amazes him.
They’ve just returned from the hardest mission they’ve faced so far, and Naruto still can’t believe the part Sakura played in it. Not only did she take down an Akatsuki member, but she also healed Kankuro of his poisoning. Naruto has never seen something so cool in his life.
It’s late and almost everyone has parted ways, everyone except him and Sakura.
She stretches her arms above her head and lets out a yawn. She tells him she’s tired and gives him a quick wave before turning away from him to set off towards her home. She’s stopped before she can take another step forward.
She turns around to look at the grip he has on her wrist and gives him a quizzical look.
“Naruto? What are you doing?”
Naruto falters for a second, but before he can awkwardly sputter out an excuse, his stomach growls on cue. Sakura rolls her eyes.
He drops her wrist and rubs the back of his head. “I’m hungry Sakura-chan! Let’s get some ramen!”
“Seriously, this late at night? Naruto, I need to go home and get some rest!” She argues and Naruto is fighting the urge to smile at the cute pout on her face.
“Oh come on, Sakura-chan! Ichiraku’s is still open and besides I..I want to treat you. You were so badass this mission, it’s only right,” He blurts out.
He’s blushing and he knows it, still he reaches his shaky hand into his pocket and pulls out his frog wallet. He opens it up to display that he does in fact have the money to treat them this time. He then forces himself to meet her gaze.
She looks skeptical, and Naruto just stands there, frozen in place. He’s already thinking of resorting to whining, but before he has the chance, Sakura smiles.
“Fine,” She says, and he lets out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding.
“Race you there!”
The adrenaline he feels in that moment far outweighs anything he’s ever felt in a fight. He is absolutely elated and without a second thought, he realizes that this isn’t just a crush anymore.
He begins to run and chase after her (with every intent to let her win) and it feels so right – to be chasing after the girl he loves.
✽✽✽
He is 16 when she breaks his heart.
Naruto has been experiencing a whirlwind of emotions these past few days. And just when he thinks things can’t get any weirder, Sakura drops a bomb on him.
He’s standing across from the kunoichi and her cheeks are flushed. Partially from the cold weather, and partially from the words leaving her mouth. The pinkness of her hair and cheeks contrast the white snow falling around them, and he thinks this looks like a scene from a movie.
However, as much as he wants to give in and fall into this fantasy set up in front of him, he knows it isn’t right.
“I said, I love you, Naruto.”
She repeats those words - the words that he’s always wanted to hear. He should be jumping for joy, but instead he feels his heart sinking to his stomach.
Naruto loves Sakura, he’s known this for a while now, but Sakura does not love him back (at least not in the way that he so desperately wishes she would.)
Naruto’s eyes harden and he has to resist the urge to yell out Kai, because he knows this isn’t a genjutsu.
He knows Sakura loves Sasuke. He knows that she knows this. What he doesn’t know, is why she’s willing to play pretend to appease him. Why she thinks that he would even want such a thing.
Suddenly, Naruto is angry. He’s never been mad at Sakura before, but anger is the safest feeling in the moment. He’s afraid that if he lets himself feel any other emotion, it will be despair. Because even though he knows she was lying when she said she loved him, for a split second, Naruto felt hope.
✽✽✽
He is 17 when he realizes how lucky he is to know her.
He’s lying in a pile of his own blood, next to his stubborn best friend. Sasuke is finally back, and despite the fact that they both had to lose an arm to get here, he couldn’t be any happier.
His body is numb to the pain, and although he is no medic nin, he knows enough to know that this only due to adrenaline and massive blood loss. He thinks he and Sasuke might die like this, and that’s okay with him.
But just when he’s accepted their fate, here she comes. She looks exhausted, and there are tears streaming down her face. He knows she is sad, but also knows that she is relieved. He’s so happy he could finally fulfill his promise to her.
She begins to heal them, and he can’t help but smile. Only Sakura could save them. The war just ended and there’s so much to process, but all he can think about in this moment was how incredible she was during it.
How amazing it was when she activated her byakugou. How powerful she was against zetsu. How strong she was to ask Sasuke to stay once more. And how selfless she was to be here, healing them both, despite the pain they cause her.
Despite how much she’s changed, in moments like these, Naruto sees 12-year-old Sakura who yelled out for them in the mist on that morning atop the bridge so long ago. The one who would do anything for those she cares for her.
He’s so proud of her. He hopes that Sasuke is too.
✽✽✽
He is 19 when he realizes there’s a distance growing between them.
Missions feel like a thing of the past as these days, most of his time is spent on Hokage training. Naruto groans to himself in frustration. He’d do anything to go another mission with Team 7, but instead he’s stuck inside of the Hokage tower while Sasuke’s away on his journey and Sakura’s walled up in the hospital again.
He can’t even remember the last time he spent quality time with his female teammate..
He decides he’s going to play hooky for a day and go pay his friend a visit.
She’s in the middle of charting when he barges into her office. She barely spares him a glance before returning back to her work, her eyebrows furrowed in distaste of whatever she’s reading.
Naruto studies her for a moment, before a mischievous smile finds its way onto his features.
“I guess Ino was right,” He says with nonchalance, secretly surveying her body language for any sort of reaction. Sure enough, she tenses immediately.
“Right about what.” She demands.
Naruto continues on with his casual tone, “Oh nothing. She was just sayin’ how boring you are now and that all you do is spend your time in the hospital-“
“Did Ino say that or did you?” She cut him off.
The blonde chuckled nervously, desperate to avoid any punches that might be coming his way.
“Can you blame me? You never leave this place!” He cried out.
“It’s called working Naruto. Tsunade-sama left me in charge of the hospital and I can’t just ignore my-“
“Wait what?” Naruto yelled, clearly caught off guard. Sakura blinked at him in confusion.
“When did granny put you in charge!?”
“Oh, um..” Sakura put a finger to her chin, trying to recall the exact date. “Sometime a few weeks ago..” She mumbled to herself.
Naruto stared at her for moment, torn between feeling excitement and sadness. Of course, he was glad she got this promotion, he knew she deserved it. But he couldn’t help but feel hurt that she didn’t share the news with him sooner. He and Sakura used to share everything with each other.
The Hokage-to-be forced himself to swallow his feelings. He didn’t want to make her feel guilty over something so minute. Instead, he plastered a smile on his face and gave her a thumbs up.
“That’s great Sakura-chan!” But even to his own ears, he didn’t sound genuine.
Sakura faltered at his reaction, a look of regret appearing in her eyes. He may not have said anything, but clearly he must not have been convincing enough.
She awkwardly cleared her throat and put her clipboard back on her desk.
“Hey Naruto, what do you say we go to Ichiraku’s? I haven’t had a lunch break all day and I’m starving! It’ll be my treat,” she said while giving him a smile that tugged at his heart strings.
He immediately brightened up. “C’mon Sakura-chan, I can’t let you treat me!” He responded, already eager to get to the ramen stand. “We have to celebrate your promotion, so I’ll treat you!”
“Well, if you insist!”
✽✽✽
He is 22 when he accepts that he will always love her.
It hasn’t been easy, but Naruto, Sakura and Sai finally make time for a Team 7 dinner. He got Shikamaru to help him finish his workload early and Hinata agreed to watch both Boruto and Sarada for the night.
Sasuke is away on his mission and Kakashi is way behind on his workload, but Naruto is still happy that at least three of them can make it. He eagerly makes his way towards Ichiraku’s, nostalgia feeling his heart. Naruto can’t help but reflect on how much his life has changed – once he was a lonely child with no family of his own, and now he’s lucky to have two families. His wife and kids, as well as Team 7.
He walks into the ramen restaurant, taking in the atmosphere. It doesn’t matter how many times he’s been inside since it’s reopening, he still has a hard time wrapping his head around how different and how much bigger it is.
He makes his way to his reserved booth and happily slides into the side opposite of Sakura. Her hair is long now, the longest he’s seen it since they were genin, and pulled back into a ponytail while she scans the documents below her.
Naruto hastily snatches the papers away. “Sakura-chan really? Not at the team dinner,” he whines.
Sakura rolls her eyes and grabs her papers back. “I’d hardly call it a team dinner. Sai bailed just now.”
“What!? What happened?”
“He got called on a mission.”
“Oh,” Naruto pouts.
“Oh cheer up!” She chides, poking at him with her chopsticks. She gives him a knowing smile, “I remember when you couldn’t stand to even be around Sai. Now you’re suddenly heartbroken that he couldn’t make it?” She scoffs and Naruto can’t help but grin.
They both love Sai, but they both secretly love discussing him as well. It’s like an inside joke between them and Naruto can’t help but take the bait every time. Sai definitely got off to a rocky start with both Naruto and Sakura and although it’s all water under the bridge now, he and Sakura still snigger about calling him an off brand Sasuke.
“You’re right Sakura-chan, we don’t need him,” He laughs along.
“Oy, Naruto, don’t be so rude!” Naruto freezes, surprised by her change in demanor.
“What? But you just said-“
“I was talking about the past!” She scolded, and in that moment, she seemed so much like the genin Sakura that he grew up, that his grin grew wider. “You should appreciate your teammates more y’know!” She added, with a smug look on her face.
That look of pride and the tone of her voice instantly transported him ten years into the past. Everything about it felt so achingly familiar, so Sakura, that it took him by surprise. Sitting across from her, just the two of them eating ramen, it felt so nostalgic. It felt so right.
He could feel the heat rising to his cheeks and quickly ducked his head down towards his menu. He hasn’t blushed at Sakura in a long time, and he knew he needed to get a hold of himself.
“Huh? Naruto, why are you reading the menu? We both know what you’re going to order.”
“I, uh- just want to make sure they haven’t changed anything that’s all!”
“Why would they..” She trailed off, then started giggling. “You know what, never mind. Some things never change.”
“Yeah, they don’t,” he mumbled to himself. He wondered if she knew that his feelings hadn’t either.
✽✽✽
He is 30 when he realizes he needs to let her go.
Being Hokage is not everything Naruto expected it to be. He’s more than grateful to be in this position, but he’s always so busy now. Boruto is already a student at the academy, and his heart pangs at how long it’s been since he used to sit at those same desks. He wishes he could see more of his son, of his family, of his friends, but he’s always holed up inside of his office.
He’s just now finished his work for the day. He glances at the clock and sighs - it’s already 11PM. Chances of anyone being awake when he gets home, is slim to none. He tiredly makes his way home, and he revels in the quiet of the town.
He’s surprised when his footsteps are no longer the only sound he hears.
He hears the sounds of her heels clicking as they walk down the road to his right, and he doesn’t even have to turn in her direction for him to know it’s Sakura. Naruto knows Kakashi, Sasuke, and Sakura better than anyone. He knows how they walk, he knows their energy. He stops and smiles to himself, waiting for her to catch up to him.
“Narutooo!” She calls out, waving to him, causing a warm sensation to spread over him.
“Hey Sakura-chan! Did you just get off?”
“Yeah,” she sighs out and he can feel how tired she is, “It was a long one today.”
He frowns. “Don’t push yourself too hard, Sakura-chan.”
She gives him an encouraging smile, “I could say the same to you.”
The pair’s steps synchronize as they begin walking towards their homes. Sakura tells Naruto of the recent training session she had with Sarada and Naruto shivers at the thought of a mini Sakura walking around Konoha.
Naruto shares his complaints about being Hokage with her. Shikamaru aside, Naruto is always hesitant to mention the less pleasant aspects of his job to anyone, but Sakura is someone he can confide in without feeling judged. She laughs at him and tosses a few teasing remarks his way. He feels so at ease in this moment.
Eventually, they arrive at her house. She gives him a quick hug goodbye and makes him promise to find time for another team dinner soon. He continues the rest of the walk home with memories of Team 7 on his mind.
As he falls asleep that night, he dreams of her.
He dreams of her encouraging shouts while he faces off against Kiba.
He dreams of her tear-stained face as she begs him to bring Sasuke home.
He dreams of the way she opened the curtains of his hospital window, pain behind her eyes, but a careful smile plastered onto her face, so careful to make him feel safe.
He dreams of the blush on her face when she saw him for the first time after his training with Jiraiya.
He dreams of the look of relief in her eyes when he catches her seconds before she made contact with a Chidori. He still feels the relief coursing through his own veins, as if he had just saved her again. Just knowing she was alright.
He wakes up the next morning to the sounds of his children. He walks downstairs and sees Hinata preparing breakfast while Boruto demonstrates to Himawari what he’s learned in the academy so far. He smiles at his family, forcing the glimpses of pink away from his mind.
He knows 30 is too old to still be harboring feelings from his childhood youth. Sakura has married Sasuke and he has married Hinata and both of them are happy. Yet he feels himself close his fist, knuckles tightening at the dreams he had the night before.
He still hears Sakura’s scream the day he arrived to fight Pein. He still remembers how it felt when she hugged him, that being the last memory in his dream before he woke up.
He tells himself these are events of the past and that his feelings are in the past as well. He needs to let her go.
He needs her to let him go.