I Knight Thee Sir Duckbutt
~In which Sasuke is knighted Sir Duckbutt, and you end Iruka's whole career. Plus meeting a really nice old lady. She doesn't give you a churro, though~
***Picture above is not mine***
(A/N: You may notice I changed some of the dialogue and order in which some events happen- only slightly though.)
^^^Recap^^^
You have a new life now, one where you can change the world for the better. One where you can make new friends, and have a whole new family. After all, blood is blood, but our friends are the family we choose.
You have been given the chance to change the course of history. To alter reality for the better.
You smile and whisper to yourself as darkness overtakes you.
"Down with the plot."
^^^Present^^^
^^^3rd P.O.V^^^
"Hokage-sama." Iruka bowed as he entered the Hokage's office.
"Ah, Iruka." The Hokage replied, looking up from his paperwork. "I've been waiting for you to arrive. I have a... special job for you. Should you choose to accept, of course."
"Oh? And what is this 'special' job?" Iruka asked.
"There is a person by the name of Y/N L/N that will be joining your class at the academy, as well as participating in the final exams." The Hokage replied.
"L/N? I've never heard of that clan."
"They preferred to keep to themselves."
"Preferred?"
"They have passed, unfortunately. They are an orphan."
"I see. So, what's so special about this 'Y/N L/N'?"
"Their clan's ability. As the Uchihas have their Sharingan, and the Hyugas have their Byakugan, the L/Ns have an ability called 'Animanga'."
"Animanga?"
"Yes. It allows them to see the past, present, and future of this world, as well as its inhabitants."
"That's... I see why this is a 'special' job. Is there a limit to their power?"
"They seem to only be able to use this ability on specific people. They knew quite a bit about Kakashi and myself, however when asked to use their abilities on one of our ANBU agents, they came up blank."
Iruka nodded.
"I'd be happy to take them. I'm sure they'll fit right in." He said. After all, he had an Emo Uchiha and Hyperactive Jinchuri under his care already. Why not have a Sugar-Caffeine high Prophet as well?
Iruka exits the Hokage's office only to come face-to-face with Naruto, who has a bucket of paint in his hand. Naruto carefully edges his way around Iruka, before sprinting off. Weird. As Iruka begins to walk, he notices Hokage mountain...
His eye twitches.
"NARUTO!!!"
^^^Your P.O.V^^^
You had just woken up and gotten changed into the clothes the Hokage so kindly provided for you, giddy to begin the adventure as the first season officially begins.
"Jingle bells~ Oroachimaru smells~ Kabuto go away~! Kakashi's hot~ Mizubitch is not~ (OTP) all the way, HEY!" You sing under your breath, practically skipping to the academy.
Sure, you were a little late, but that was okay since you were being introduced to the class AFTER they had all entered and settled in. Besides, you wanted to make an entrance. You look around the empty hallway. Shouldn't Iruka sensei and Naruto be here...?
Sure enough, Iruka is dragging a struggling Naruto around the corner and down the hallway. He's to focused on getting out of his binds to notice you standing awkwardly by the door.
^^^3rd P.O.V^^^
Iruka drags Naruto through the doors of the classroom and throws him on the ground.
"Naruto! I've had it with your antics!" Iruka yells, obviously pissed. "I will deal with you in a moment."
He turns to the rest of the class with a full 360 attitude change. "Now, we have a new student joining us today. I would like you all to treat them with respect."
Them?
"Y/N, you can come in."
You take a deep breath and walk into the classroom, sheepishly waving.
Everyone stops what they're doing to stare at this new arrival.
Choji's hand pauses mid grab of one of his chips, hand half out of the bag.
Naruto stops wiggling to look at the person from his place on the ground.
Shikamaru turns his attention from the window.
Kiba openly stares after Akimaru gives a small bark, catching his owner's attention.
Even Sasuke, the emo king himself, momentarily glances up from his crossed arms.
"Uh, hey! I'm Y/N L/N, it's nice to meet you all. Please call me Y/N."
Bitch, wasn't I supposed to give em' the ol' ✨Razzle Dazzle✨?
Iruka, noticing the tension in the room, decided to help out his new student.
"Does anyone have any question for Y/N?" He asks. About 7 hands shoot up.
"Uh, yes, guy with the adorable doggo." You say, pointing to Kiba.
He grins with a mouth full of canines "So, cutie, are you single?"
Although this was to be expected from him, it was still a bit of a shock.
"Yeah, I am. Single as fuck, heh." You reply. Kiba and a few others in the room have a hopeful look on their faces. What? The new person's hot.
You turn your attention to Sakura, knowing exactly what was coming.
"Do you like anyone here?"
Oh for the love of anime...
"No, I don't 'like' anyone here if that's what you're asking. But I am looking forward to getting to know each and every one of you, so who knows?"
She seems satisfied enough with your answer. (As does some other people in the class)
"Okay, Y/N, last question." Iruka says, anxious to get on with the lessons for today.
"Uhh.." You say, surveying the hands left.
"You! The boy with the duckbutt hairstyle!"
"Sasuke Uchiha. And my hair does not look like a duckbutt."
"Whatever you say, Sasuke Uchiha. What's your question?"
"What's your last name?"
I'm bouta' end this man's whole career~
"Uchiha." You say matter-of-factly.
The class falls silent. Hinata shifts slightly, accidentally knocking a pin off her desk and onto the floor with a small clatter.
Iruka, sensing the tension in the room, clears his throat and beaks the silence.
"They're joking, Sasuke. Y/N's last name is 'L/N'. Oh, and Naruto, get back to your seat." Iruka says, releasing Naruto from his bonds.
(A/N: -_-)
Naruto gets up and quickly rushes back to his seat.
"Y/N, we don't have many spare spots in this class, so please take a seat next to either Naruto or Sasuke." Iruka says.
You ignore the glares of several female students as you begin making my way over to Sasuke's desk...
Then abruptly turn and sit down next to Naruto.
"Hi." You whisper to him.
"Uh, hi, dattebayo." He responds.
"You do know that there's an empty seat next to Sasuke, right?" He asks.
"I know." You reply.
"Then why are you sitting here? Did the others put you up to it?" He questions, with a evident frown in his voice.
"No, they didn't. I thought you looked cool, so I decided to sit next to you. Besides, Duckbutt's a little... antisocial. Don't cha think?"
Naruto lets out a laugh before realization dawns across his face.
"You... wanted to sit next to me?" He incredulously.
"Yup. And not only that, but I'd like to be friends. No, best friends."
^^^Naruto's P.O.V (;D)^^^
When I saw Y/N for the first time, I thought they were WAY out of my league. After all, they were hot. Like, Sakura hot. Maybe even more so. But, I have to ignore them. They'll probably start drooling over Sasuke like all the other girls and guys and not even look at me. Besides, I like Sakura.
And ramen.
I really like ramen.
Iruka asked them to take a seat next to either Sasuke or me, and I watched as they began to walk over to Sasuke... but as they were passing my desk, they suddenly turned and sat down, believe it!
"Hi." They whisper to me.
"Uh, hi." I reply. Why are they talking to me? "You know there's an empty seat next to Sasuke, right?" They must not have realized, though Iruka-sensei did point it out to them earlier...
"I know." They say. Whaaa? But it's Sasuke. Who wouldn't want to sit next to him? And I'm, well, me.
"Then why are you sitting here? Did the others put you up to it?" It was the only explanation. No way someone like them would ever sit next to a loser like me.
"No, they didn't. I thought you looked cool, so I decided to sit next to you. Besides, Duckbutt's a little... antisocial. Don't cha think?" Duckbutt..? Do they mean Sasuke?
...
THAT'S HILARIOUS! I'M GONNA CALL HIM THAT FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE! BELIEVE IT!
I laugh out loud before quickly restraining myself. Remember the hot person who's sitting right next to you...
"You... wanted to sit next to me?" I ask, mentally cursing myself for the hint of surprise evident in my voice. The hot person wants to sit next to me, Dattebayo!
"Yup. And not only that, but I'd like to be friends. No, best friends." They say.
...Friends? Best friends?
"Yeah..." I say. "Best friends!"
"Best friends." They lock their pinky with mine as I return the gesture with a wide grin on my face.
Their E/C eyes are so cool, I could get lost in them... They smell like ramen and forest and cocoa and...
Iruka-sensei slams his hands on our desk.
^^^3rd P.O.V^^^
"I'm at the end of my rope, Naruto!" Iruka says, angrily. "You failed the graduation test last time, and the time before that. Tomorrow you've got one last chance, and you had better not mess it up again! In fact, to make sure, everyone will review the Transformation Jutsu!" He declares.
The class groans.
"SHUT UP YOU USELESS WINDCHIMES!" Y/N yells, turning to face the class.
"Y/N..." Iruka warns in a menacing tone.
"Yes, sensei?" They reply in a sickeningly innocent voice.
Iruka rolls his eyes. "Mind your language." Wha- "Sakura, you're up first." He says, dropping the subject.
Sakura gets up and walks to the front.
"Alright, Sakura, let's do it. Transform!" She yells. Smoke surrounds her, before disappearing to reveal a copy of Iruka.
Iruka nods. "Transformed into me. Good."
Transforming back, Sakura cheers. "Yes! I did it! Yes!" Yeah, I kicked butt! "Yes!"
She turns to face Sasuke. "Sasuke-kun, did you see that?" She asks excitedly, returning to her place.
Sasuke rolls his eyes, before focusing back on Iruka.
Speaking of which, Iruka mumbles something that sounding like 'I don't get payed enough for this.' under his breath before stating; "Y/N L/N"
You step forward. Hmm, I could do 'Sexy Jutsu', but that's Naruto's thing. Ah well, may as well actually try for once.
"Transform!" You yell. There's a poof of smoke, and when it clears, there is...
A coffee cup rolling in circles before coming to a stop.
"..."
The smoke reappears as you transform back.
"L/N... What was that?" Iruka asks.
"Uh... My Transformation Jutsu?" You reply, nervously.
"You transformed... into a cup of coffee?"
"Yup."
Iruka sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You're supposed to think of what you want to transform into, which in this case, is me."
"As much as you're on my mind, Iruka-sensei, coffee is Queen."
"Can't you think of anything other than coffee?" Iruka asks, ignoring your previous statement.
You pretend to think for a moment. "Hmm.. No. Yeah, don't think that's possible. Not even for someone as awesome as me."
"Just... You pass. Get back to your seat." Iruka says, already done with this conversation. "Next, Sasuke Uchiha."
Sasuke steps forward and wordlessly transforms into Iruka. What a showoff, ya little-
"Uh, good..." Iruka says, bewildered. No speaking? How did he-
Sasuke transforms back, walking off. He shoots you a small smirk, looking at you out of the corner of his eyes before continuing on and returning to his spot. You give the back of his head the middle finger with your eyes.
Iruka sighs. "Next, Naruto Uzumaki."
"This is a total waste of time, Naruto." Shikamaru says.
"We always pay for your screw ups." Ino says moodily. (A/N: I swear, if any of you comment 'mood'-)
You give them both death glares as Naruto huffs. "Like I care."
Naruto puts his hands together before yelling; "Transform!" The smoke clears just as suddenly as it appeared, revealing a naked girl with smoke covering her... ehem.
There are mixed reactions.
Some gasp.
Some look pissed.
Some are rolling on the floor laughing their heads off and struggling to breathe.
Naruto transforms back, laughing and pointing at Iruka. "Ha! Gotcha! That's my 'Sexy Jutsu'!" He yells.
"Cut the stupid tricks! This is your last warning!" Iruka yells.
You and Naruto share a look, before bursting out laughing again.
^^^ Mini time skip brought to you by caffeine and energy drinks^^^
You and Naruto are on your hands and knees, scrubbing Naruto's 'art' off of the Hokage's faces.
"This suuucks." You say bitterly, throwing your hands in the air.
"Well you're the one who decided to help me, dattebayo!" Naruto cried, wiping his brow.
"Yeah? Well you're the one who got us into this mess in the first place!"
"Me!?"
"Yeah, you!"
You both bicker back and forth before you deplete your mental energy supply- coffee can only get you so far.
"I'm tireddd!" You complain.
"Me tooo." Naruto says.
Iruka sits with his arms crossed sitting on top of the Hokage's faces. "Neither of you are going home until you've cleaned off every single drop of paint."
Naruto stops scrubbing for a moment. "So what? It's not like there's anyone waiting at home for me, anyway."
"My clan is gone, Iruka. Who's gonna miss me? My family?"
Iruka looks down at you both with a hint of sympathy in his eyes.
"Naruto? Y/N?" He asks
"What do you want now, Sensei?" You both ask, Naruto narrowing his eyes with a small pout on his face.
"Well, I was just thinking, maybe after you clean all of this up, I can take you both for some ramen. The good stuff. What do you guys think?"
You and Naruto look at each other, before turning to Iruka with a Cheshire grin on your faces.
"Now that's some serious motivation!" Naruto yells.
"We'll have this clean in no time!" You exclaim.
^^^Time skip to Ichaku's Ramen brought (But not bought) to you buy Iruka's poor wallet^^^
"Naruto? Y/N?" Iruka asks you both.
"Mmmm?" You both reply through a mouthful of noodles.
"Naruto, why would you do that to the Hokage's faces? I mean, you know who the Hokage are, don't you? And Y/N, why help Naruto? You've known him for less than a day!" He asks.
"Course' I know who they are." Naruto says as he slurps more ramen, finishing the bowl. "Everybody knows. They were the greatest Shinobi of their time, right? The best of the best. Undefeated Ninja champs. And the Fourth Hokage's the one who saved the village from the Nine-Tailed Fox. He was the most amazing."
"Then why did you...?" Iruka begins.
"Cause' I'm going to be greater than any of them. Me. Naruto. The next Hokage! A Ninja legend! Then everyone will have to stop disrespecting me, and they'll all look up to me. Believe it!"
"And I stayed to help Naruto cause' he's my friend! Plus, I kinda knew we'd be getting ramen afterwards. I am an L/N, after all. There are only three things that motivate me in this world, y'know; Food, spite, and deadlines." You say.
"..."
"..."
"Well, I've gotten this far on those two things, and I'm not stopping now."
Naruto decides to speak up. "Uh, by the way, I kinda wanna ask a little favor, Sensei."
"You want another bowl?" Iruka guesses.
Naruto shakes his head. "Uh-uh. I... want to try on your headband. Come on, Please!?" He begs.
"Uh..." Iruka motions to his headband. "Oh, this? No way. You can only wear the Leaf Headband when you finally graduate from the academy and become a Ninja. You've gotta pass the test tomorrow."
"That's so uncool!" Naruto pouts.
"Rude." You say, agreeing.
^^^Da Next Day^^^
Did you, not for the first time, stay up all night studying?
Yes.
Was that a good idea?
Probably not.
Did you do it anyway?
Yes.
Are you extremely tired and look like a walking zombie?
Also yes.
Did it, at the very least, pay off?
"..."
Iruka breaks through the chatter in the room by announcing: "We will now start the final exam. When your name is called, proceed to the testing room. The final test will be on... The Clone Jutsu!"
Ugh! That's my worst technique! Great. I'm never gonna pass! Naruto thinks.
Poor Naruto. You think. I don't know if I can bear to watch him look so sad again.
Naruto takes a stance at the front, hands in front of him. Alright. Get it together, Naruto. You can do this. He puts his fingers together, forming handsigns. Believe it. "Clone Jutsu!" He yells.
The smoke dissipates , revealing Naruto who looks over to his right. Lying belly down on the floor, with its tongue out, is a Clone of Naruto. It's a little... pathetic.
Naruto laughs nervously.
Iruka has one of those looks on his face.
And Mizubitch just looks like a bitch.
"You fail!" Iruka yells.
"Iruka Sensei?" Mizubitch speak up. "He's off, but his moves weren't bad and he did hang in there and replicate. This is his third try, so you know he really wants to become a Ninja. We could cut him a break and pass him."
"Mizuki Sensei. The other students created at least three effective replications. But Naruto could only create one. And look at it; It's pitiful. I can't pass him." Iruka replies.
"Call in L/N on your way out, Naruto."
Naruto leaves the room, his head hung low. You put a hand on his shoulder and give him a small smile. He gives you one back, but you can tell it's forced.
"You're up." He says.
"'K." You reply.
"..."
"..."
You walk into the room, anxious to escape the tension outside.
"L/N?" Iruka asks
"That's my name, don't wear it out."
"Just... transform." He says, sighing.
"Clone Jutsu!" You yell.
The smoke clears as three perfect replicas of you stand in a row next to the original.
"Congrats, you pass." Mizubitch says.
"Shut up, Mizubitch. Course' I did. I'm just that awesome." You say, grabbing an F/C headband and getting the hell outa there.
"Sakura! You're up!" You yell over your shoulder.
You run out into the yard with all the other graduates... and those who didn't.
"You see that? They called me first."
"I passed with flying colours!"
"I'm proud of you, kid. We all are."
"Congratulations! I'm going to cook you all of your favorites tonight. We'll have a feast!"
You make your way over to Naruto, who is sitting on a swing in the shade of a tree looking upset.
Suddenly, however, you stop.
"There, you see him?" A woman asks.
"It's that boy. I heard he's the only one who failed." Says another
"Hmph! Serves him right., I say!"
"Just imagine what would happen if he became a Ninja. I mean, he's the boy who-"
"Shh... We're not allowed to talk about that."
"Hey!" You shout. "Didn't anyone ever tell you staring is rude!? Take some of your own advice and shut it!"
"Didn't anyone ever tell you that speaking to an adult in that manner is ruder?" One of the women retorts.
"Women?" You scoff. "All I see here are children. Little whiny children. If anything, I'm the adult here. Respect your elders, you soggy washcloth."
The women look shocked, before they turn on their heels and run off with their tails tucked between their legs.
You look over to where Naruto is sitting, only to discover he was gone.
"Shoot..."
^^^Earlier, whilst you were asserting dominance over the old women^^^
A sudden noise alerts Naruto to a presence next to him.
"Mizuki-Sensei!?"
He jumps down next to Naruto. "Iruka Sensei is tough. But, he's not against you, you know."
Naruto pouts again. "Then why? Why only me?"
"He wants you to be strong, Naruto. With all his heart. But that will never happen if he goes easy on you. He's like you... No parents, no family."
"But... This time I really wanted to graduate."
Mizubitch chuckles under his breath. "Then... I guess I'll have to tell you."
Naruto raises his gaze from the ground to meet Muzuki's. "Huh?"
"It's a secret. But I'm gonna let you in on it." Mizuki says.
Naruto's eyes widen. "A secret?"
^^^With Iruka^^^
Iruka has been desperately searching for Naruto. He stops on a building, panting, and looks around.
I have to find him, and fast.
Where would he go?
^^^With Mizuki^^^
Now that I told everyone what Naruto did, I can eliminate him. They'll be glad he's gone. Mizuki smiles menacingly. And of course I keep the scroll for myself.
^^^With Naruto^^^ (A/N: WHY SO MANY P.O.V CHANGES!?)
Naruto is sitting in front of a small hut in the forest. Iruka walks up to him as Naruto looks up.
"It's all over." Iruka says, coupled with a laugh.
Naruto scratches the back of his head, laughing back nervously.
"Got me already?" Naruto says. " Not bad. You're quick, Sensei. I only had time to learn one technique."
'He's been out here practicing. I can tell how hard he's been working.' Iruka thinks to himself.
"Listen, Iruka-Sensei! I'm going to show you this amazing Jutsu and you're going to let me graduate and everything will be okay. That's the way it works, right? Anyone who learns Jutsu from this scroll passes!" Naruto exclaims excitedly at the prospect of passing.
Iruka is just confused. "Huh? Where'd you get that idea from?"
"Mizuki Sensei told me about it, Believe it! He told me where to find the scroll ... And this place!" Naruto stops speaking upon seeing Iruka's confused face.
Mizuki?
Suddenly, Iruka senses an incoming attack, and looks over his shoulder at the incoming Kunai.
"Look out!" He yells.
He pushes Naruto back, taking the Kunai. It forces Iruka against to the wall of the hut. Kunai are implanted within the wall, some of them pinning Iruka there, and one stuck in his leg...
^^^Mini time skip brought to you by Author-chan's inability to write fight scenes^^^
Naruto walks in the door of his apartment to find you sitting cross legged on the floor, writing in a leather-bound book.
"Y/N!?" He splutters. "How-How did you get in here!?"
"I live next door to you, idiot. And you left your door unlocked. Not very safe, mind you."
"Uh.... What? I could've sworn I locked it...?"
"Oh, you did, I just happen to own a bobby pin."
"..."
"Congrats on passing by the way."
"How did you-"
You tap your forehead. "I'm a genius, remember? L/N knows all. Also, you're wearing your headband, idiot."
"Ok...Well congratulations on passing to you to."
"Thanks! I guess we're real ninjas now, huh?"
"Yeah! I can't wait to become Hokage! The greatest ninja of them all!"
You smile at him, tucking your book safely into your pocket. "I'm sure you will, Naru. I'm sure you will."
~Flashback To Earlier That Day~
"Shoot."
At first, you were going to go after Naruto, give Mizubitch what was coming to em'.
But then you remembered Naruto's character development, and the impact that it would have on Naruto's life. Yeah, you didn't really feel like screwing that up. And you're lazy
So you went to get groceries instead.
As you were walking throughout Konoha, you find yourself distracted by thoughts of the future.
What if I forget what I know? Or miss-remember something? And what about after the plot is over? Kekkai Genkais don't just disappear.
I need some way to remember, to keep it all stored, but safe enough that no one can find it.
Something like... That.
There, in a shop window, stood a leather-bound book.
'Not all who wander are lost' was inscribed on the cover.
That inscription.. It reminded you of, well, you. You were taken from your home and thrust into a world with which you were unfamiliar. But that didn't mean you were lost. You were a wanderer. A nomad. Someone who was going to use their abilities for good.
"Are you alright, dearie?" An voice snapped you from your thoughts. An old woman, the shopkeeper of the store, had seen you staring at the book, and had come to investigate why.
"Uh... yes, thankyou for asking. The book- it's beautiful." You carefully reply.
The woman's gaze follows yours. "You can have it if you like." She says kindly.
"But-" You spluttered. "I don't have any money..."
"That's quite alright. Consider it a gift. I used to have that same look in my eye, too, you know." She said, walking inside to retrieve the book with you following close behind.
"Look in my eye?"
"Oh, yes. Many years ago. You have a mission, don't you? A purpose?" She asked, handing you the book.
"I... Yeah, yeah I do." You replied, smiling slightly as you ran your fingers over the textured surface. "Thank you. Thank you so much."
"Anytime, dearie. And please, call me grandma."
You leave the store, bidding the woman farewell.
Walking home, you retrieve the invisible ink pen you always kept on your table (It was so stupid, it was genius), headed over to Naruto's, and let yourself in.
Sitting cross legged on the floor, you begin to write down everything you knew about the future into your 'Book of Purpose', or 'BOP' for short.
The name was inspired by the woman who gifted it to you.
~
Did I just do that? Yes, yes I did. :D
4082 words, everybody!!! WOOO!
I hope you all enjoyed the chapter, thank you all so much for the support of my story.
See you all next time!
-Rando
~
Roses are red
Art goes BAM
Is Author brain dead?
Why yes, yes I am.