Comfort and decisions
Shisui was the one to open the door for her.
He was dressed in his regular shinobi clothing with some parts missing, which he most likely had used as his night clothes. He was probably very concerned for her, as he did not even try to hide his worry from showing on his face. She wondered idly why he was not even asking for her reason to be at his front gate at night but instead ask if she needed some help.
She reminded herself to not cry right then and there when he gently guided her into his home.
"I'll get you some warm coffee."
She wondered how he knew what she needed the most right now. She remembered him being unable to read the room as a kid and now, he was able to know what she wanted with just a look. She almost wished he could be as oblivious to things as he was before.
Getting comfortable on the couch, she noted with no surprise that the random decorations she had sent him as gifts had been placed only near his room. Perhaps, she entertained herself with a thought as she idly played with her hair, she was the one who had wanted to ignore the love which she felt for him, that also bordered on obsession. She looked up at his figure coming back in the room with two cups of warm coffee, and thought that all Uchiha were like her in that regard. And Shisui was no exception as well.
He sat down beside her and quietly drank his own coffee with her. It was a nice silence they shared together. Not one of those meaningful ones, but just ones where there was nothing to say. He understood. And he still loved her.
"Did you have dinner?"
"I was planning on take-out."
"Again?"
Shisui gave her that sheepish smile again and she laughed before telling him she'll show him how to make some fried rice so he wouldn't starve himself. Shisui mumbled a small, 'I won't starve.' which she ignored. She loved the time they spent together.
"When's your next mission?"
"Well there is the raffle tomorrow so, not quite sure yet."
"Want me to make some food for it in advance?"
Shisui made a thoughtful sound before slipping out a yes. He liked to eat good food which wasn't half burnt or only half cooked, or those disgusting bars of protein. The only two people who could cook in his team were Genma and Kakashi; Both of which never brought good food on missions. He also liked the thought of Hisako thinking of him while making him food. But he wasn't going to say that.
He noticed the way a frown slowly settled on her face. He knew she was thinking about something. She always was.
In a way, he supposed, they were both similar in that aspect. Both were lost in memories of the past, and too paranoid to enjoy the present. He was glad too that she was also different from him in other ways. His hands mindlessly cut through the vegetables she passed him as his thoughts faded back to the time when she apologized to him and thought again, that he was much more thankful to her than she was to him. If not for her, then he knew he would have long lost himself in his despair.
An image of a boy came to his mind, a feudal lord in Iron he remembered, dying by Boar's hands. It was an assassination job, and he could still remember the last breath of the boy, not too younger than him.
And suddenly, there was a shout of his name beside him.
He silently cursed in his mind, as he forced his shaking hands to stop and look up from the cutting board to Hisako's face. He hadn't ever broke down in front of her this badly. His heartbeat didn't slow down and the fear kept his heart tangled. He had been doing so well. He had forgotten it. Why did it resurface? Her disappointed face-
"Tell me. What happened in that mission?"
She was not disappointed. She was worried.
She slowly moved her hands to hold his own ones. He noted with no surprise that she had paused for a slight moment to see if he had wanted to pull away from her. Her warm hands held his and made him wash them in the sink before she passed him a towel and took him back to the couch. She took a seat close to him, and looked at him in the eyes. Her brows were pinched together, and he found himself comparing Itachi and her.
"Tell me, Shisui."
And he sighed at that. Because what else could he do but act in accordance with her wishes?
"I killed a boy."
The realization once again dawned on him that he may [will] have to do it again in his life. The war had been easier on him than he had thought. He, and his teacher, had been high level ninja so the need to kill children, genin, had never been a task which was done by them. He was the one fighting adults, chunin and jounin, on the front lines. He was-
Hisako still looked at him with those eyes.
He hadn't felt the tears dripping down his cheeks until her hands had moved, slowly and deliberately as though giving him the choice to decide whether he wanted her to or not, and on to his cheeks. She held him like that for some time. She said nothing, she did nothing but caress his cheek and look at him silently. He knew why she said nothing; They both knew there was nothing to say. He had killed a child and that was a fact.
He barely registered her getting closer and putting her arms around his head to make him lay down on her lap as she took to caressing his hair while he cried his eyes out.
"If it makes you feel any better, you made a good dinner today."
It was a sad attempt at lightening the mood, but he gave a small laugh at that regardless.
"I learned from the best."
"You're right about that."
He sniffled slightly and gave another small chuckle before relaxing further in her hold over him. His legs were swinging loosely over the couch, his height making him barely able to fit, as he felt his exhaustion seep in his bones and give way to sleep.
"You can take a short nap. I don't mind."
Instantly, his eyes closed and he fell to his slumber. He distantly remembered thinking of giving Hisako more jutsu and training her body more.
Hisako continued to play with his hair, her own exhaustion making her barely stay awake. She looked down at the sleeping beauty in her lap and decided to take a short nap as well. Gently, she spread her legs further to relax and tried to sleep in her own awkward sitting posture.
Their short nap had turned into a full night's rest.
Shisui woke up, still feeling the warmth of the lap he laid on last night and felt his face burn red from the embarrassment. Although he felt more regret at waking up so early, the only time he felt regret at having a perfectly timed clock in his mind, and having to leave the comfort of her touch.
His body was aching slightly in different places from the awkward position he had been sleeping in and decided to lay down Hisako on the bed so she wouldn't have to wake up with stiff joints.
He noticed the still wet fabric on her legs and wondered if he had been crying in his sleep as well.
A sigh escaped his lips as his thoughts went back to the current problems. He needed to do something about Danzou. Even after the suspicion of the Uchiha has been decreased and the relations between the village and the clan have improved to a certain degree, no doubt due to Hisako controlling the public's opinions, Danzou was still pushing against the Uchiha. He had hoped that the man would be more reasonable.
Another sigh escaped him and he thought about the problem at hand.
He noticed shuffling from the bed he had laid Hisako down on, and smiled fondly at her. He entertained the thought of escaping with Hisako from the village before rejecting it. For Uchiha, the protection of a clan or a village was essential. Especially for civilians, like Hisako.
Should he simply kill the village elder?
No, it would be too suspicious. And with the man constantly being against the Uchiha, the clan could become a suspect as well. And if, by any chance, one of the other elders decided to frame Hisako, him or Itachi for this then it would be one less key player on their side. [He did not think of Hisako dying. He could not. She was laying down on that hospital bed that day. He wasn't strong enough]