Keep Rolling
Naruto was a little overwhelmed. So far, being a Shinobi was nothing like he had thought it would be, but then again, it was his fault for assuming they’d send fledgling Genin on high stakes missions. Still, cleaning up litter and chasing around someone’s lost cat was not what he had in mind and it was frustrating to say the least. Sasuke and Sakura seemed to feel the same, tension was thick in the air when the Hokage announced their next ‘mission’, and Naruto was the one who broke it. His outburst hadn’t appeared to surprise Kakashi, almost as if he was anticipating it. The Hokage though, went on this long, annoying lecture that almost put Naruto to sleep. However ultimately with Naruto’s, admittedly, snappish persistence, the Hokage relented and granted them a rank C mission. Naruto’s mood had soared at the news, his hands fidgeting with the sleeves of his jumpsuit while he rolled on the balls of his feet excitedly. So when it was revealed that they had to guard some rude old man, it plummeted immediately.
He was a bridge builder, Tazuna, he had said. Something in Naruto craved to fight, to get lost in the adrenaline until all he could focus on was landing hits. This mission however, did not look promising. Who exactly would be after some old timer building a bridge anyway? He bit back a sigh, not bothering to spare a glance at the Hokage. Naruto had been avoiding the man lately, ever since his ‘incident’. No doubt that the Hokage knew everything, but he hadn’t brought it up, to Naruto’s relief. It was still a shock knowing what the Hokage had ordered, he was trying to have faith that the old man had done it for his sake, but something just didn’t seem right. The Hokage knew everything that happened in the village. He had to of known that Naruto was suffering, that he could help Naruto… but he didn’t. It made Naruto sick at the thought of it. So he avoided him. Avoided any answers that he could coax out of the man, too afraid that it would be an answer he couldn’t bear to hear. Sasuke snapped him out of his thoughts with a nudge.
“We’re leaving.” He said simply, a look of confusion rippling the calm facade of his expression.
Naruto looked around him and realized that his team, including the bridge builder, were staring at him incredulously. How long had he spaced out?
“That disappointed kid? Yeah well, me too. I don’t exactly find it reassuring that I’ll be putting my life in the hands of some wet behind the ear brats.”
Naruto scowled at the man, trying to keep his temper in check. He was a Shinobi, he had to act like one.
“Well, I guess we should go pack. Make sure to bring food this time, Naruto.” His Sensei said as he planted a hand on the other’s shoulder.
Naruto flinched at the sudden touch. Kakashi twitched in surprise and carefully slid his hand off his student’s shoulder as Naruto snapped his gaze to his Sensei’s, embarrassed. Kakashi tilted his head minutely as he considered Naruto. Something in him started to shift then, as realization flickered behind his eyes. Naruto swallowed.
“I’d be surprised if he didn’t forget his whole pack.” Sakura jeered.
Kakashi easily slipped back into his aloof demeanor. “Now, now, let’s not waste time bickering while you three should be making sure you get a good nights sleep. We’re leaving at sunrise.”
Sakura huffed. “Yes Sensei.”
Kakashi sent one more look at Naruto before he ushered the kids out of the building, his gaze full of intent. Naruto sighed. This was not a conversation he would want to have.
He opted to walk home rather than run, his mind was a little too heavy, too cluttered with things he didn’t want to think about. So he walked, let his subconscious slip away as his feet padded rhythmically against the ground. He wouldn’t say that he’s sad, necessarily. Just overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with so many conflicting thoughts and feelings, new sensations and experiences he never thought he’d be able to have. It was just too much. He was far too lost in his haze to hear the yelling.
He was only yanked out of it when a hand balled in the back of his suit, and whipped him into a tree.
“Ignoring me? Wow, it must’ve really inflated your ego when you graduated. I couldn’t believe it at first you know, didn’t think you had it in you.” He jabbed a finger into Naruto’s chest. “Especially Kakashi’s team. Pretty impressive, Naruto… but also suspicious.”
Naruto couldn’t breathe. He had gotten too comfortable, let his guard down, and now he’s facing the consequences. Takeshi and his teammates. He should’ve known that they would seek him out, the peace had lasted too long. The genin hated him so passionately and Naruto hadn’t understood why until recently. Though with that thought, Naruto realized something. He was stronger now, he didn’t have to run, he could fight. His body didn’t get the memo though, completely frozen and trembling like a leaf in the wind. He tried to will it into action, but it wouldn’t listen to him.
“What’re you so nervous for? You got something to hide, Naruto?” Takeshi asked in mock confusion. “Don’t tell me… did you cheat on the exam?” He tutted as his teammates snickered behind him. “You know, if you cheated and they find out, you’ll never be a Shinobi again. Maybe even regarded as a traitor to the village… depending on how you cheated.” Naruto’s stomach churned as the blood drained from his body. “I guess we’ll have to ask you some questions and find out.”
Naruto knew this game. They’d pretend he was a traitor or spy, it was one of their favorites. Would hunt him down and hold him captive while they ‘interrogated’ him. Torture him until he coughed up fabricated, desperate, confessions. His body was riddled with evidence of the assaults, it was the main reason he wore something that covered most of his skin. He was ashamed of them, ashamed that he had been so weak that he allowed it to happen. He had to do something. He didn’t care at this point if it was to run or fight he just begged his body to do anything.
When he felt something cold prick his neck, he stilled completely, the shaking stopping abruptly as something heavy settled in his chest.
“Are you going to make this easy for yourself? Or are you going to make us ‘help you’?” Takeshi asked, almost a whisper. His tone was laced with false compassion. He pressed the kunai that he had against Naruto’s neck further into his skin, being rewarded with a thick stream of blood that slid down to Naruto’s chest out of sight.
Naruto didn’t flinch at the pain, he was numb to it. It was like his body completely shut off, like he was a spectator watching this from afar. It was something eerily akin to acceptance. His subconscious was screaming at him, trying to break him out of his trance but it was no use, he was far too gone. He could cope with it like this, pretend that it wasn’t him, that it was someone else being subjected to this. He could’ve sworn that he heard a low cackle echo in the back of his mind. He ignored it.
“Cat got your tongue?” Takeshi asked.
Naruto didn’t respond.
“Ignoring me again huh?” He slammed his fist into Naruto’s stomach, watching in pleasure as he crumpled in on himself.
He grabbed Naruto and pulled him back up to face him. “Feel like talking now?”
Naruto’s survival instincts kicked in. Just give them what they want, it’ll be easier. He tried to speak but his throat constricted, the trembling settling back into his limbs. Pathetic.
Takeshi hummed before lifting his hand again. He swung, this time aiming for Naruto’s jaw. Then, almost as if in slow motion, Naruto watched something slam into Takeshi, his hand being ripped off course. Naruto kept his eyes locked on Takeshi, who was pushing himself off of the ground to face whatever had hit him.
“Who the hell are you? Get out of here kid.” Takeshi spit into the grass as his teammates rushed to his side.
“Sasuke Uchiha. What do you think you’re doing?”
Naruto jolted as he turned to face Sasuke.
Takeshi’s eyes widened in recognition. “Oh yeah, you’re his teammate right? Lone survivor of your clan, top of your class. A little out of his league don’t you think? I wouldn’t waste my time protecting him like this, I’m sure this is the only use you’ll find in him anyways.” He shrugged.
Sasuke’s eyes narrowed as he regarded them coldly.
Takeshi went to say something again, but Sasuke didn’t give him a chance, his hands flying through signs before they could even blink. A burst of fire rushed towards the genin, being met with startled yells and curses as they scrambled away from the flame.
“Hey man! We don’t want to fight okay? You can have him he’s all yours!” Takeshi put his hands up placatingly.
“Leave.” Sasuke warned in a low growl.
“Okay, okay!” They sheepishly retreated back towards the village.
Cowards. They always have been, Naruto knew this. He knew that they hadn’t seen a mission ranked above D in all their years of being Genin. He knew that, but it didn’t stop them from living in his nightmares, seeding a deep rooted fear into his very being.
Sasuke watched them go. “Why didn’t you-“ He began, but then swiftly cut himself off at whatever he saw in Naruto’s demeanor.
Naruto was still standing against the tree, thoughts filtering in at a delay as he slowly came back to himself. Then he realized what had startled Sasuke. His breath had become shallow, as his heart thrummed rapidly against his chest. He could feel himself slipping into that familiar state of panic. Not right now, please. He gripped the fabric above his heart, the painful thrashing getting to be too much to bear. His legs gave out underneath of him. He barely registered Sasuke shooting forward and catching him, easing him gently to the ground.
“Hey. They’re gone, you’re safe now.” Sasuke tried to soothe, but his voice came out awkward and mechanical.
Naruto tried to even his breaths, but they still came out ragged and labored despite his efforts to calm himself. The world was slipping away like sand through his fingers, devolving into nothing but terror and desperation. A strangled cry made it out of his throat against his will. There was a beat, and then he felt something warm against the back of his neck. He flinched at first, but then leaned into the sensation like it was a lifeline, and it really was. He could feel some of his panic seeping out of him as he forced his breathing to slow, which prompted a few pained coughs. He sucked in one last shaky breath before it finally passed. He was still trembling as he blinked away the sting in his eyes. His mouth tasted like metal.
Suddenly the warmth left his neck and Naruto jumped, looking up at Sasuke. Sasuke looked just as startled as he felt. Naruto swallowed hard and looked away. Why did it have to be Sasuke? He never wanted to be seen like this, let alone by Sasuke. His teammate sat down a short distance away from Naruto as he allowed him to calm down completely.
It was silent for a while before Sasuke broke it. “I didn’t know.” He wasn’t looking at the other, his gaze somewhere in the trees.
Naruto looked up at him in confusion. “What?” His voice came out hoarse and strained.
Sasuke glanced at Naruto. “I didn’t know it was this bad. I knew you were picked on, but not like this.”
Naruto couldn’t help but scowl at the words. “The hell do you care anyway?”
The other boy turned to look at him completely now, his expression cold. “I don’t. We’re a team. Your weaknesses are my weaknesses, get used to it.”
Naruto’s blood boiled. “Yeah? Well don’t worry about it, it won’t be a problem.” He snarled bitterly as he pushed himself up, leaning against the tree for support as his legs still felt weak.
Something flashed behind Sasuke’s eyes as his brows furrowed. He looked like he was about to say something but Naruto didn’t give him the chance to before he flickered to a rooftop. It felt better now to run, the cold night air was pleasant against his overheated body. He just wanted to go home and curl up under his bed for a while, like he did whenever something like this happened. It was an entirely new brand of mortifying though, adding Sasuke to the equation made it even more so. He was strong, he could’ve taken those Genin just as well as Sasuke did, but he didn’t. He was just as much of a coward as those three and he hated himself for it.
He let his head fall against his door as he shut it, and took in a deep breath. He reached up to untie his headband and then froze, remembering a crucial detail. He put his hand on the back of his neck absently as it came back to him. Sasuke had… comforted him? Tried to soothe him and then put a hand on the back of his neck to help him through it. Naruto stared at nothing. Why would he do that? He had already chased the genin off, he should’ve left. Naruto felt a headache coming on as he followed this train of thought. Based on what Sasuke already said, it was probably some insignificant gesture that had no real intent behind it, he shouldn’t think about it too much. He shook his head to ward off the lingering thoughts, and set about getting to bed.
<+>
Sasuke had been confronted with a realization that he had been trying to deny for a while.
He liked Naruto.
The truth sank like a rock in the base of his stomach. He tried to rationalize, that he just wanted to his his friend, he couldn’t possibly like him like… that. He stared blankly at the ceiling while on his bed while conflicting thoughts lashed around his head. Then he scowled at nothing in particular as he flipped through his recollection, how he felt, and tried to reach a different conclusion each time and failed. Why Naruto? He covered his eyes with his arm as he sighed.
Sasuke remembered the first time he met Naruto. It wasn’t long after his clan had been massacred. He was walking back home after taking a walk to clear his mind, when he spotted Naruto sitting on the edge of a dock. Immediately Sasuke recognized the vacant and hollow look that hung over the child’s face. He was sure it mirrored his own. He was transfixed at the sight, something he’d never thought he’d see in another person. The loneliness and despair translated through every line in his frame. Then, almost as if sensing his presence, Naruto turned around and looked at him. He shifted and blinked nervously. Hesitantly, he raised his hand and waved to Sasuke. Sasuke was stunned for a moment but then something possessed him into waving back.
The smile that split Naruto’s face was blinding. It was pure unfiltered joy and relief. Sasuke wasn’t sure what he felt in that moment, something like admiration? Or maybe jealousy. Either way it was a strange feeling, one that he couldn’t bear to welcome at that point. So without any further words he left, leaving Naruto on his own again.
Naruto had always been like that, so determined and bright despite what he’d gone through. Sasuke was drawn to it like a moth to a flame. He would catch himself staring at the other during class, noting how tense he seemed some days or how he fidgeted with his sleeves when he was excited. Before he knew it, he had begun to care about Naruto. Get pissed when his classmates would talk about him behind his back. Or feel unsettled when Naruto would show up late to class. Though Naruto seemed more wary around Sasuke than anyone else, always aiming to prove himself and use Sasuke as an example. It irked Sasuke, annoyed him that Naruto felt uncomfortable around him. He didn’t push it though, concluding that Naruto was out of his reach. Even though he wasn’t sure why he wanted him within reach in the first place.
He didn’t realize why until that night. When he saw Naruto being beaten, his body acted on it’s own, the anger he felt was startling. Then his heart sank when he witnessed Naruto dissolve into panic, he felt helpless while the boy shattered into pieces in front of him. There was a fleeting moment where he considered chasing those boys down and beating them until all they could see was red, but he couldn’t leave Naruto like that.
When Naruto asked him that question, it awoke something in Sasuke. Why did he care? He had no doubt that Naruto couldn’t even consider him an acquaintance let alone a friend, but Sasuke had always cared. Why? Maybe it was the sense of mutual understanding when they looked at each other. The acknowledgment of it and respect that despite that, they are their own person. It was unspoken but clear. Though Sasuke had a feeling it was more complicated than that. At some point, that respect had turned into admiration on his part. He wasn’t sure when, or why, but Naruto’s prescence started to spark a warm feeling in his chest. It felt like that sleepy warm happiness that comes when you bathe in the sun on a breezy spring day. Though Sasuke would never admit something so sickeningly poetic out loud, it embarrassed him just thinking about it.
Even knowing deep down how he felt, he wasn’t ready to give an honest answer. He could only imagine the horrified look on Naruto’s face as he tried to explain that he cared because he… liked him. He definitely didn’t mean to be such an asshole about it though. He blamed it on the mix of panic and shock that was swirling around in his mind at the time, but nothing could make him forget the look of blatant hurt that crossed Naruto’s face.
He groaned and rolled off the bed, obviously sleep wasn’t going to be an option tonight. This was a problem. He can’t be losing focus like this, not over some stupid childish crush. He’d let it pass, just push it out of his mind and stop it before it gets out of hand. He had to get stronger, find his brother, demand the truth, then avenge his clan. He can’t get distracted by something so insignificant, even if it stung to regard Naruto as such.
He trudged out into the Uchiha training field and let his mind fill with the images of his deceased loved ones. The anger and grief that he felt. The rest of that night Sasuke trained until he couldn’t think anymore.