Fated

Shikamaru waited for her outside the office before going in, that’s their usual routine. When her car arrived, he immediately walked toward her space and waited for her to get out. Temari smiled at him with sad eyes and Shikamaru grabbed her hand but she pulled it away, again. Declining all his sweet gestures since last night. Shikamaru can’t help but feel concerned and disappointed at the same time. 

When they reached her office, he attempts to kiss her but she moved her face away from him. Shikamaru released a frustrated sigh and palmed his face.

“You’re staying in my apartment later, right? He wants to assure that everything is alright

“Uhm, no. I need to finish something tonight” she said

“But you promised. Is there a problem?” He starts breathing profusely

“No, uhm. You can also have lunch with your friends today. I’ll be having mine at my office because I need to finish something” Temari turn around and closed the door, leaving Shikamaru frozen in his spot

She didn’t leave her office that day and Shikamaru joined his friends for lunch.

“What’s with you?” Kiba asked while staring at Shikamaru

“What?” he said with an annoyed tone

“Someone didn’t get a kisssss. I saw you two earlier. Man, she might be having her period give her slack!” Naruto teasing him

“It’s been a while since you joined us at lunch Shikamaru, where is she? Are you two been in a fight?” Neji asked

“No, she’s just busy” he answered with a deadpan expression

“Yeah, she’s busy right now, especially with her resignation,” Sai said while his eyes focused on Shikamaru, observing every emotion he will release

Shikamaru’s heart sank, he couldn’t believe what he just heard “Wait, say that again?”

“She’s resigning. Temari didn’t tell you? Today is her last day”

All of them stared at Shikamaru, surprised too after hearing Temari’s resignation. He immediately stands up from his seat and runs to her office. He opened the door without knocking and closed it with force.

“You didn’t tell me you’re leaving!” He angrily said to her

Temari looked at him when he entered her room, she didn’t respond and return her gaze back to what she was doing, packing all of her stuff in a box.

“Temari! Are you even listening to me!?” he walked towards her and stomps her table. Still, she didn’t respond to his questions.

“Stop!” he pulled her hands away from the box and stuff that she was packing “Why are you leaving!?”

Temari stared at him “You know why I am leaving. Have you forgotten about rule number five?”

“You’re talking nonsense!” He shouted, releasing all of his anger

She continues packing her stuff while still avoiding his gaze “I am just following our agreement. I’ll resign from the company after a month remember? It’s been long overdue now. You did a great job Nara, so I’m following what you really want”

“Don’t fucking tell me about what I want Temari! This is not what I want!”

“But I promised, so here I am following our agreement. We’re only doing this because we're faking it right?”

“We’re both not stupid thinking we are still faking all of this Temari!” Shikamaru’s voice becomes louder

Temari faced him with a raging gaze “You made a rule out of it Shikamaru! And you keep breaking each of the fucking rules! I tried to stop you and you know it!”

Shikamaru pulled her hands gently “Please Temari, stop. Please stop. Don’t leave and just stay here. Stay with me”

Temari didn’t answer, she pulled her hand away again and continue packing her stuff inside the box.

“Just tell me what’s the problem. I’m going to fix it, here…see? I’ll listen, I’ll listen to you Temari. Just please don’t leave” Shikamaru starts embracing her from behind “You’re the only one that I have right now, please don’t leave”

Tears starts to drop from her cheeks after she heard him begging, her heart couldn’t take it. But she feels a need to repent from what she had done to him, to Shira, and to Matsuri. She’s blaming herself for everything.

“Shikamaru, please don’t force it” she pleaded while removing his hands around her waist.

He was catching his breath because of all the pain he was feeling that day, Shikamaru suddenly remembered what Shira said last night “Are you going back to him? To Shira?”

Temari stopped from what she was doing and was surprised that Shikamaru thought about it, in reality, it was never the reason for her leaving the company, leaving him.

Shikamaru caught the sudden stop in her movement and conclude that Shira was the reason for her leaving. His heart felt a stab of sharp pain and anger started emerging inside of him.

“Right, you’re right. I remember now, you’re only using me for Matsuri and him. Well, congratulations Temari, you fucking won!” he storms out of her office with a heavy heart and tears falling from his cheeks

After two weeks of sorrowful loneliness, Shikamaru sits in his balcony chair puffing his third cigarette that night. Temari was nowhere to be found, he went to her apartment almost every day but she was not there. He called her multiple times but she was unreachable. Shikamaru was granted a one-week leave after his boss saw him being in misery in the office, it was their first time seeing him like this and his friends were concerned about him.

A black bag under his eyes was visible, his lunch remained untouched on his table, and the clothes that he wears were still from yesterday. Suddenly, his phone was ringing. Shikamaru immediately grabs it hoping it was Temari but it was Sai who was calling him, he clicks and answered his call.

“Shikamaru?”

He didn’t answer and just puff another smoke from his cigarette

“I’m sorry, I felt like it was my fault telling you about her last day”

“I tried calling her for you Shikamaru but her phone was unreachable”

“I heard you’re looking for her brother’s phone number? I have them. I’ll send it to you”

Shikamaru fixed his position after hearing what Sai just said

“I’m sorry again Shikamaru and I hope you and Temari will get back together” Sai ended the call after that.

Shikamaru waited for the phone number of her brother and when Sai sent the message, he immediately dial and call it. Someone answered after the fifth ring.

“Hi, Kankuro here. Who’s this?”

He cleared his throat “Uhm, it’s Shikamaru. I’m sorry but is Temari in there?”

“Shikamaru? Who’s Shikamaru? Why are you calling my sister?”

“I’m her---uhm officemate. I’m looking for her because she didn’t go to work” He pinched the skin between his brows and he could feel the pain starts emerging in his head.

“Wait, I thought she said she quit her job in Konoha?”

“Uhm, yeah. Sorry but I cannot find her in Konoha is she there in Suna?”

“Nope, she’s not here. I guess she’s traveling somewhere, my sister is so fucking hardheaded and I think you know that. If she didn’t want to be bothered, she will do everything just to keep her peace. Just wait, she’ll return”

“I hope so, please call me if she returned there or if she called you”

“Why? Who are you to my sister anyways?”

“I think you should ask your sister about that. Just please call me, save my number”

“Alright, soft boy! God! Sorry for whatever my sister has done to you”

He just smiled during the call “Yeah, thanks Kankuro. I’ll wait, bye”

They both dropped the call after that. He inhaled his cigarette, fuming his lungs before speaking to himself.

Where the fuck are you?

I cannot find you

Why do I feel that I lost you again?

Did I promise to find you before? I can’t remember but I think I did

I’ll forever find you Temari, forever

He closed his eyes and leaned on the chair on his balcony. His fingers run to his lips, it felt empty without her lips touching it. Shikamaru missed her so much, her smile, her laugh, her skin, her lips, everything about her filled his soul. He thought that only half of his soul will just be detached from him after she left, like what it was before when he met her. But after Temari left him, he couldn’t feel anything, everything felt numb, and his soul was filled with void and emptiness. Shikamaru realized that his whole soul left his existence and Temari brought it somewhere she is now.

A cold drop touched his face, he opened his eyes and saw it was raining. Shikamaru didn’t move and embraced the rain while puffing his cigarette. Her voice echoed in his ears like he was delusional.

“Someone said if you walk in the rain no one can see you crying and people wouldn’t notice it”

Tears start falling from his cheeks while his eyes are still closed, feeling the cold touch of rain dropping his skin. Her face always appeared every time he closed his eyes and it was the closest thing to being with her, to see her face only in his memory.