Promising forever doesn't actually guarantee forever. Valeria has come to learn this. A thick bitterness has coated her heart in your absence. Eating away at the organ like an acidic parasite. It's been years since your divorce, but Valeria still misses you deeply. You took something from her when you left and she knows she'll never get it back. The worst part is, she can't even really blame you for leaving. For the majority of your long relationship she was dishonest about who she was and what she did. You eventually put the pieces together, even if the picture was never whole, and figured out she wasn't good. Valeria tried to spare you as many details as she could. Knowledge is power but ignorance is safety. To your credit, you had tried to make it work. However it proved to be too much for you. The danger, the lies, the late nights. You served her the papers and left soon after.
The divorce wasn't easy on you either. You spent just shy of ten years with Valeria. Building a life with her only to find she wasn't who she said she was. A house built on a weak foundation is doomed to collapse, and leaving her was one of the hardest things you've done but you couldn't stand it anymore. Couldn't stand wondering if she'd walk back through that door each night. The moral implications were eating at you as well. Whatever it was she was doing was bad enough for her to not tell you.
It's another lonely night in your apartment. The silence feels mocking. It's one of the rarer nights where you don't have music or the TV playing. Just you in your chair with a book you've already read. You struggle to focus. Having to reread the same paragraph twice because you're just not absorbing the words at hand. Leaving Valeria was the right thing, you tell yourself. But life is so... quiet without her. A heavy knock on the door interrupts your thoughts and you realise that you yet again didn't actually read anything. Sighing, you put the book down and get up. Your legs and back are sore from sitting in the same position for too long. You silently walk towards the door and peer out through the glazed window. Making out the shapes of men.
The sight makes your skin prickle, but you unlock the deadbolt - not the chain - and pull open your door, wincing as the hinges cry out in protest.
"Can I help you?" You ask quietly, brows pulled low. You see there are five men in total, all clad in military gear.
"Hello ma'am, mind if we come in for a few moments? We have a few questions for you." The blond one asks. There's something about his voice you don't like. Under that American accent is something smug and violent, like he's used to getting his way.
"Um... no thank you." You respond. Like hell you're letting five strange men into your home.
"It won't take long, it's about a woman." The one with the mohawk speaks. You're caught off guard because this one has a Scottish lilt to his voice. Looking closer, you see a little British flag sewn onto the chest of his vest. His friend beside him has one sewn onto his as well, contrasting with the light blue button up.
"No, sorry."
"Her name is Valeria Garza." He continues, looking you dead in the eyes. You stiffen at the name. Fearing the worst. Has she been caught? Is she dead? You're torn between slamming the door and letting them in.
The latter wins and you unlatch the chain, slowly pulling open the door to face them.
"... What about her?" You ask carefully.
"Why don't we come in to discuss this, huh?" The blond man pushes his way in before you can protest. Putting you off greatly. The others follow suit like sheep to their shepherd. The blond man looks around, eyes raking over your home. He turns that blue gaze back to you. "So, to my knowledge you were... close to Valeria."
"I... suppose so." You reply. Close isn't enough to describe what you had. A roaring forest fire that died out too quickly.
"You used to visit her often, back when she was still in the special forces." One of the other men pipes up. He has the saddest downturned eyes you've ever seen on a human, but his voice is firm.
Everyone is looking at you. You don't like their scrutiny. Like you did something wrong.
"...Yeah? So?" You internally facepalm at the defensiveness in your voice. These men are dogs and they'll pick up on it.
"Well, according to some official government documents, you two used to be married." The blond says. Smug, like he caught you in a lie. You have the strongest urge to punch him in the throat. Or maybe give him a new facial scar.
"We were married for a few years, yeah." You say. Voice strong because you're not ashamed or embarrassed. "We divorced a while ago though."
"Why?" The man leans forward, beady eyes narrowed.
You hesitate. "She never made any time for me." You say. That and you never actually knew her.
The blond looks over to one of the men at the back.
"Alejandro, you're familiar with Valeria and by extension her wife-"
"-Ex wife." You correct.
"-Help me out here."
The man, Alejandro, comes forward. Hands held onto his vest. His gaze is severe and alight with a distaste that makes your skin prickle. "What did Valeria do for a living?" He asks. The way he asks tells you he already knows.
"She ran a business."
"What kind of business?"
"I don't know."
He raises a thick brow. "You don't know?"
"No." You grit out. "I don't know, she never told me."
"And you didn't think to ask?"
You frown at him. Obviously you asked. Many times.
"Okay. I did ask. She wouldn't tell me." You snap. "Why are you bothering me about my ex-wife? I haven't even spoken to her in years."
The blond man shoulders past Alejandro. "So you didn't know about her connection to the cartel?" He asks.
"No-"
"You didn't know your wife was a narco?" He presses, drawing closer.
"No I didn't know-"
"You didn't think to question where her wealth came from? I bet the ring she got you was nice and pricey."
It was. A shiny, sturdy diamond ring. It makes you feel a little unwell that it might've been paid for with blood.
"I don't know anything." You growl. "Are you even allowed to do this? Barge into my home without a warrant? I think you need to leave."
"We're just trying to get all our facts straight." Alejandro replies. You focus your glare on him.
"Go get your facts from someone else. Leave." To your surprise, they do. They turn and walk right back out your door and you slam it behind them.
A few hours later there's another knock on your door. Setting your nerves on fire. You're still unsettled by the impromptu visit from those men. You get up from your spot at the table and check out the peephole, expecting to see them again. It's Valeria who is darkening your doorstep this time. A stony look set upon her features. You debate not opening the door. You don't really want to see her much either. However, you know Valeria and she knows you. She won't be leaving until she gets what she wants. The door creaks open, deadbolt and chain unlocked.
"What do you want?" You surprise yourself with the hostility. You are rattled by the men and they were only here because of her. Therefore, in your mind, she's to blame for you being unhappy.
"We need to talk." She says. Pushing past you and entering your home uninvited. Seems to be the trend this evening.
You close the door and turn to her, feeling annoyed.
"I think everything that needed to be said was said a long time ago."
"It's not about that." She stands in the hall menacingly, backlit by a lamp. "You had visitors today. What did they want?"
"Oh so you're stalking me now?" You snap.
"What did they want?" She repeats sharply. "What did you tell them?"
"I didn't tell them anything. I don't know anything because you never fucking told me!" You feel angry. More than that. All Valeria did was hide things from you and stress you out. Now she's waltzing into your home like you owe her anything.
Valeria turns away, trying to reel in her temper.
"I was protecting you." She grits out.
"Some good that did, huh?" You reply sardonically.
She glares at you. "Are you injured or in jail?" She scoffs. "No, I didn't think so."
"No but because of your actions I had five men force their way into my home and interrogate me about you, practically accusing me of working with you."
The room goes quiet.
"... I'm in the cartel." She says. You roll your eyes.
"Yeah, I guessed."
"No, I'm really in it. High ranking, powerful." Valeria says firmly. "While you were waiting up for me at home, I was killing people trafficking drugs."
A response dies on your tongue. In a way, you always knew. To hear her admit to it is both cathartic and devastating. "... Why are you telling me now?"
Valeria's frown softens into a more familiar look. "Because you deserve to know." She says. "Did they hurt you at all?"
"No." You reply. But you didn't exactly feel safe. "They were a little... intense. It upset me."
Valeria looks at you for a few moments then nods stiffly.
"Okay." Is all she says before she's gone again. Leaving a messy pile of conflicting feelings in her wake. You catch a whiff of her perfume as she passes by you, and it reminds you of late morning cuddled in bed. She's stuck to the same scent since you two met. Nine and a half years spent together and now you're strangers. Yet you know what her go to scent is, that she doesn't like lettuce, the exact shade of the pink she paints her nails, when she got her first tattoo. The story behind each and every scar. You shut the door, cutting her off from your view.
Alejandro steps outside for a quick smoke break. leaving behind the lights and the noise. As he lights his smoke he spots a figure, barely illuminated by the yellow lights spilling from the canteen. It starts walking towards him. The lack of a greeting unnerves him and he shifts his hand to rest on his holster.
"Nice night, eh?" He calls out. No response. The figure steps out of the dark and he stiffens at the sight of short dark hair and narrow features. He unholsters his pistol. What is she doing here?
She stops abruptly and looks at him. Distaste evident on her face.
"I'm all for playing your little cat and mouse game but leave my loved ones out of it."
He frowns at her. Sizing her up for any visible weapons. "This is about the visit we paid to your ex wife."
"You did more than visit." She replies dangerously. "Don't speak to her again. Don't bother her again. Don't even visualize her again. I will kill every single one of your men and women, and then I will go after their families."
"What are you-"
Alejandro doesn't get to finish his sentence as the canteen behind him explodes. The sound bursting his eardrums and sending him flying forward.
Beneath the ringing he's able to recognize confused shouting and pained screaming. A hand grabs ahold of his hair and yanks. Pulling loose a few strands. Valeria stares at him with absolute hatred.
"Our word is our worth, cowboy," She whispers. "so take my word for it."