Zeus: Percy do you have the lightning bolt?
Percy: yes.
Zeus: yes sir.
Percy: no need to call me sir, uncle.
***
Every LGBTQIA+ camper at a random campfire: T-R-A-U-M-A we have trauma and we're gay ✨
***
Homophobic person: there's a special place in hell for you guys!
Nico: yeah.
Nico: my dad's palace.
***
Will: I mean, your as pale as a ghost, the light bounces right off you...
Will: I know what you are.
Nico, think Will will say ghost king or smt: say it!
Nico: just say it!
Will, whispering: iron deficient.
***
*playing truth or dare*
Piper: Nico, kiss the hottest person in the room.
Nico, blushing: Percy...
Percy, also blushing: yeah?
Nico: can you move, I need to get to Will.
Percy:
Piper:
Everyone:
*Nico and Will casually kiss*
***
Percy, to Annabeth: So, how's the prettiest girl in camp doing?
Annabeth: I don't know, how are you doing Percy?
***
Percy: I gave Zeus a get better soon card.
Annabeth: Percy, God's can't get sick.
Percy: I know, I just think he should do better.
***
Percy: My dad sucks!
Thalia and Jason: no, ours does!
*Will, daddy's favorite*
***
Percy: dad, I'm hungry.
Poseidon, smirking: hi hungry, I'm dad.
Percy: fuck you.
***
*Percy and Annabeth on a picnic date. It starts raining*
Percy: fuck you Zeus!
***
Hades after finding out Will and Nico are a thing:..... At least its not Jackson or Grace.
Apollo: ... What?
***
Hazel: Nico, when did you learn you liked guys?
Nico: took one look at Percy Jackson and thought 'damn'
***
Percy: everybody's got a gay cousin.
Nico:... I don't.
*realizes*
***
Zeus: my child is completely fine!
Chiron: your daughters littaerly a tree.
***
Zeus: I have no fears.
Percy: pay your child support.
Zeus:.... I have one fear.
***
Percy, to Nico: your so short. What can you even see from down there?
Nico: your IQ.
***
Zeus: destiny is calling!
Percy: can you tell them to delete my fucking number???
***
Nico: look, I know we don't always see eye to eye-
Percy: that's because your too short to do so.
Nico:...
Nico: listen here you motherfu-