Chapter 1
At times, Katsuki Namikaze feels as if he’s used up all of his bad luck. He hopes that from now on, things are only going to get better.
Then, inevitably, things come crashing down all over again.
The popping emanating from his palms was an example of the annoyance and frustration that he felt, yet he couldn’t do a damn thing.
An entire clan. Dead. He couldn’t do anything.
His best friend forced to kill his entire family. He couldn’t do anything.
His other friend committing suicide. He couldn’t do anything.
His parents getting killed. He couldn’t do anything.
It felt as if the summation of his twelve years of life up to this point had been a thorough lesson that he couldn’t do anything to help the people he cared for.
Katsuki stormed onto a training ground.
Fuck that lesson. He’d never listened in the academy; he’d be damned if he started now.
As long as he lived, nothing would stop him from trying again.
Katsuki left the training ground twelve hours later, unconscious. His hands having been scraped raw, slung over someone’s shoulders.
Kakashi sighed as he laid Katsuki down on his bed.
Katsuki had a nice apartment that he hardly ever used. Not that Kakashi could blame the kid. That’s what he was, a kid.
Katsuki was twelve, yet he was a Chunin and had already borne what must have felt like the weight of the world on his shoulders numerous times. He had been five when his parents had died, and when he had lost the chance to be a big brother to someone who may as well be a stranger to him now, for all intents and purposes.
Now, his two friends had been ripped away from him. One of them having killed his clan, which he would definitely be talking to Katsuki about, and the other had died, supposedly killed by the aforementioned friend. He would, again, be talking with him about that. Perhaps if Katsuki were a normal twelve-year-old, Kakashi would wait, and make sure that Katsuki is more mentally stable before talking to him about such horrific topics, but he knows that the boy is not like other kids. He still wonders how exactly two of the most cheerful and laidback people he knew in Minato and Kushina had a child who was so aggressive. Even from an early age, Katsuki had been sure of himself, and had stared at people as if his gaze would pierce through them. He had only seen it soften for himself and Katsuki’s parents. Later, Itachi and Shisui would make his red and ruby eyes lose some of their cutting power too. Not anymore though.
Katsuki would probably tell Kakashi everything that happened exactly as it happened, because to Katsuki, protocol is a recommendation he chooses not to follow, and he processes his pain by confronting it, not avoiding it.
Kakashi slept on the sofa. He didn’t want to go home. It wasn’t like he used his much either.
Shinobi wake up as soon as they detect noise. Their finely-honed senses detect possible danger, and as such, they are prevented from being ambushed while being so vulnerable. As such, Kakashi wakes as soon as he hears Katsuki wake up.
He hears the kid growl, and obviously, Katsuki knows exactly what’s happened.
“Oi, shitty Kakashi, I was training, why’d you bring me here?”
Kakashi sighs at the question, as he sits up, and looks calmly at Katsuki as he enters the room.
His face is turned up into a half-snarl, something Kakashi hadn’t thought was possible until Katsuki came along.
“If by training, you mean lying on the ground at three in the morning at training ground seventeen, then you have my apologies,” came Kakashi’s reply. He had done this so many times, he knew what to expect.
Katsuki’s snarl grew a little bit more before it stopped, and he huffed, before sitting opposite Kakashi, on a chair he’d pulled up.
He eyed the Jonin for a second before speaking.
“What do you wanna know?”
Kakashi raised his only visible eyebrow.
“I think you know I want to know as much as you do. I’m sure there’s more going on here than I know about.”
Katsuki clicked his teeth.
“As much as I do, huh? Don’t say you didn’t ask for it.”
With that, Katsuki’s story began, and as it went on, Kakashi was blown away more and more.
Shisui was attacked by Danzo? He committed suicide?
Itachi was forced to kill his entire clan, lest they revolt?
As much as Kakashi wanted to go and drink a lot of sake, he knew that he had to stay and remain composed for someone he considered his little brother.
For how world-weary Katsuki looked sometimes, and how strong he was as a shinobi, it would be remiss of Kakashi to forget that he was only twelve. He knew exactly what it was like to grieve and wallow in self-hatred at that age, even if Katsuki was clearly intent on literally beating it out of himself.
“What do you want to do now?” Was the immediate question he felt the need to ask.
Katsuki looked at him, and, as if he understood the gesture, grunted, as if in approval before answering.
“Eat, and then train. I want to train until I know that I won’t fail again.”
Kakashi knowingly smiled under his mask.
It was impossible to make guarantees in the Shinobi world. Kakashi had sworn that he would never let a comrade die. Even after taking that oath, he knew that it wasn’t unbreakable. What Katsuki said was just like what Kakashi said. A guarantee that holds no guarantee. A promise of principle is based on a firm belief in what you believe you can do, and what you should be striving for.
Kakashi had to work on Katsuki blaming himself for everything, but despite that, he was happy that he had kept his drive. Katsuki Namikaze was nothing if not determined.
He thinks that perhaps Katsuki would make a good Hokage someday, even if he lacked any form of tact or diplomacy.
On the other hand, telling dignitaries that he would kill them would seem an all-too-real threat coming from the Hokage...