Jinx had been more than a little busy the past few days. She felt a little bad about the time that was lost with Isha but she always made sure to stop when it was the girl’s bedtime so she could spend the night in bed with her. Isha was a little confused about Jinx’s new position and didn’t really understand the weight of what it meant. Jinx hadn’t understood what Silco’s position meant when she was eleven, so she didn’t blame Isha for being unable to grasp it.
Torn between trying to find a way to make things better for Zaun, and giving attention to Isha, Jinx felt a little stretched thin.
Then, she hears a whisper that rapidly reaches her in hopes that she would deal with it. A Piltie infiltrated Zaun asking for her. Jinx thought they wanted war but was not prepared for the answer given when she asked who it was.
The Sheriff.
Caitlyn. Fucking. Kiramman.
Jinx dropped practically everything and left Isha with Sevika to take care of the issue herself. She thought that Caitlyn was smarter than to go waltzing through Zaun asking for Jinx by name.
It wasn’t hard to find her. Jinx had to follow the commotion and dismissed the people harassing Caitlyn before she put her hands on her hips.
“Are ya stupid?” Jinx asked her, frowning when she noticed Caitlyn’s slightly ruffled state. “Why are you down here?” Jinx approached her, making her back up against the wall. “Asking for me by name no less. Do ya wanna get a cap popped in your skull?”
“It’s Vi,” Caitlyn said and those were the only two words needed to drain the irritation out of her.
“What about her?” Jinx demanded. She grabbed Caitlyn’s shoulders and shoved her up against the wall. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know,” Caitlyn admitted with a small grimace. “She’s just… not acting right.”
Jinx’s eyes narrowed. “Elaborate.”
“She’s just really spacey. Not paying attention. She seems sad. She’s been getting startled really easily and worked herself up into a panic when I dropped a book.” Caitlyn looked down at Jinx. “I think it’s about you.”
“I didn’t do anything!” Jinx immediately defended herself. “I’ve been down here—”
“No!” Caitlyn hurriedly interrupted. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Then speak fast,” Jinx ordered.
“I think she’s worried about you. Or misses you. Or something…” Caitlyn grimaced. “It’s been a while since the attack. Isha hasn't come around.”
“Well…” Jinx took a step back, her hands leaving Caitlyn’s shoulders. “What do ya want me to do about it?”
“I want you to come see her.” Caitlyn’s facial expressions and tone were serious but Jinx was still suspicious.
“You want me—” Jinx pointed at herself. “To go to your house?”
Caitlyn grimaced before nodding. “Yes.”
“Is this a trap so you can shoot me?” Jinx’s eyes narrowed.
“No.” Caitlyn held her stare.
“Well, why can’t Vi come here?” Jinx folded her arms. She glanced away before she asked, “Is it really that bad?”
“I thought you’d jump at a chance to come back to my home,” Caitlyn stated. Jinx glared at her. “Look, say no and I’ll leave and you won’t see me again.”
Jinx shoved her hands into her pockets, trying not to fidget. “...okay.”
Caitlyn’s shoulders slumped in relief. That was the movement that made Jinx know that she was serious.
“Well, unless you forgot how to get back to your house, lead the way.” Jinx gave a grand sweeping gesture for Caitlyn to get moving and after a moment, the woman did.
Jinx was used to zipping Topside with Isha but Caitlyn obviously wasn’t meant for Trencher jumping. Isha could jump across gaps more easily than the woman did. Caitlyn tried to cross a gap at an upward angle and her foot slipped—because Piltie shoes were for looking nice, not running—and she fell.
Jinx wasted no time in using her shimmer to zip forward, jump, and crash into the frame before they could drop.
“You’re pathetic at this,” Jinx told Caitlyn after dumping her on solid ground.
“Well excuse me for trying,” Caitlyn huffed as she brushed dirt off of herself. She looked up and sighed when she saw how much further they had to go. “C’mon.”
It took a long time before they made it Topside. They had to go the long way around the border patrol before Jinx finally stepped foot on Kiramman soil.
“She’s in the bedroom,” Caitlyn said, pausing before they reached the door. “I don’t… my father might see you if you come through the front door.”
“Sneaking me into your bedroom window?” Jinx grinned at her before wiggling her eyebrows. “Naughty.”
Caitlyn rolled her eyes. “I’ll go let you in.”
Jinx went around the side of the house and easily shimmied up the side until she was at the usual window. Caitlyn unlocked it and Jinx slithered in, her boots finding the hardwood floor as she looked over the room. There was a lump under the sheets in the bed, a mop of pink hair sticking out from the covers.
Jinx approached.
She thought that Caitlyn was exaggerating, at least a little bit. But as she finally got a look at Vi’s sleeping face, she could see that there was indeed something wrong. She wasn’t able to put her finger on what exactly, but all she knew was that Vi was wrong and that Caitlyn expected her to fix it. People should know better than to expect her to fix things by now.
Jinx reached out. After a moment of hesitation, she set a hand on Vi’s head and brushed a few long locks out of her face. Jinx had a vague memory of their mom doing their hair, nails scratching at their scalps, and soft hums escaping chapped lips.
Jinx idly scratched at Vi’s scalp, careful not to put too much pressure. She swept a thumb over Vi’s forehead, smoothing back baby hairs and trying to soften the crease between her brows.
Then Vi’s eyes—half-lidded—peered up at her. Their gazes met and Jinx held it. She watched as Vi’s brow furrowed a little more and then Vi was wrenching away from her quickly. Jinx backed up and held her hands up to try and show she wasn’t there to do anything.
“No, no, no,” Vi mumbled, shoving the covers off and sliding out of bed. “You can’t be here!”
“It’s okay—” Jinx tried to say but Vi had grabbed her shoulders and was pushing her back toward the window.
“You have to go,” Vi said urgently. “You can’t be here. Caitlyn will be mad.”
Jinx glanced over Vi’s shoulder waiting for Caitlyn to interrupt and reassure her only to see that the woman had disappeared at some point.
Jinx… didn’t really want to leave yet. Other times she understood when she wasn’t wanted, but at that moment she wanted to stay. Vi needed her.
“It’s okay.” Jinx dug her boots into the ground, leaning against Vi’s grip. “I’m not getting shot.”
“I don’t, I don’t—-” Vi took a shaky breath, her hands trembling from where they firmly grasped Jinx’s upper arms.
It had been so very long since Jinx had tried to comfort her sister. She used to just drape herself over Vi’s back like a blanket, letting her weight settle her sister still. But she was much smaller then and Vander usually always interrupted and sent her away so he could talk to Vi. Jinx was in unfamiliar territory and she had to navigate it carefully.
Much of what she learned about comforting came from testing with Isha. Isha would get teary quickly if she thought for even a moment that Jinx might leave her behind.
“It’s okay,” Jinx repeated. She shifted forward on her toes and reached up to wrap her arms around Vi’s neck. All resistance left her sister as she sank forward into the touch, gripping Jinx’s top to pull her closer.
“Pow Pow,” Vi mumbled against her shoulder. Jinx grimaced at the name but managed to cram the sour feelings toward the name in the back of her mind as she focused on the present.
“Yeah.” Jinx curled her fingers into Vi’s top to hold her steady. “I’m okay.”
“I’m sorry.” Vi’s voice cracked. Jinx wasn’t sure what she was apologizing for.
Jinx’s heart pounded hard against her chest, racing more than usual. “Just relax. We’re okay.”
Vi took a few shuddering breaths. “In Stillwater—” she started, “I didn’t know the dates. I didn’t know how much time had passed. How old you were. There’s a calendar here and I know the date coming closer and closer.”
“What date?” Jinx asked.
Vi pulled Jinx closer, pressing her face against her shoulder. “The day I lost you.”
Oh. Jinx’s heart dropped into her stomach. Caitlyn was right. Vi was acting weird because of her. Because the anniversary of the day she killed their family was coming up. But Vi clung to her like Isha did after a bad nightmare and that confused Jinx. She was still confused about where she stood regarding their relationship. She was pretty sure they were still sisters, but she also thought Vi was still mad at her about the whole party she threw.
Jinx took a few deep breaths. Her mind was racing and she knew she needed to calm it down before she started to think bad thoughts. Her mind would run away into the darkness if she let it. She tightened her grip on Vi’s shirt.
Jinx leaned back against the wall and Vi followed her, fingers firmly anchored against her frame. Jinx let her legs fold under her and Vi collapsed with her.
“I’ve gotcha, sis,” Jinx muttered as Vi laid against her, quiet and desperate not to lose her. “I’m right here.”
Jinx’s fingers weaved their way back into Vi’s hair to scratch against her scalp again. She started to hum because she didn’t know what to say but the quiet was too much.
She leaned against the wall and watched Vi as the older girl closed her eyes under the touch. She could feel Vi’s muscles untensing as she leaned more weight against her. Vi was heavy but the weight was nothing to Jinx. It was just warm and solid. Vi still smelled like that stupid fancy Piltie soap but there was something unmistakably Vi underneath it that made Jinx think of childhood.
Jinx could almost pretend they were children again, tucked away in Powder’s little hidey-hole after Vi had a bad night and was the one to crawl into Powder’s bed. Vi would hold her close as if she was afraid she might disappear and Powder always tried her best to comfort her.
But they weren’t kids. Those days were long gone and Jinx could barely tug them from the recesses of her mind.
Jinx heard the footsteps before she saw them. She glanced up to see Caitlyn appear in the doorway. The woman’s eyes swept the room and she faltered when her gaze finally fell upon them. Jinx wondered if she thought she left. Part of Jinx wished Caitlyn would take Vi because she didn’t know how to handle or feel about the current situation. The other part wanted to shoot her face because Vi wouldn’t be upset if she could be in the Lanes with her and Isha.
Caitlyn’s eyes fell to the gun still strapped to Jinx’s thigh and Jinx rolled her eyes.
“I won’t if you won’t,” she offered, careful not to disturb Vi.
“I’d prefer nobody got shot,” Caitlyn agreed quietly. She finally took a few steps into the room. “Is she… asleep?”
Jinx glanced down at Vi from where her face was tucked against her collar. She thought so but she wasn’t sure. “I guess.”
“Your legs are going to fall asleep,” Caitlyn pointed out.
“Wow, who’d have thunk?” Jinx huffed. She knew that the weight on her lap was going to make her legs and ass go numb, but she had plenty of experience with that. “I happen to have a little booger who likes to fall asleep in my lap. And if I make the slightest movement then they wake up and they’re gonna be cranky as hell. You ever see a kid cry over eggs on toast?”
Caitlyn blinked at her. “I… can’t say that I have.”
“I forgot to put syrup on the toast one time and you’d think I had shot her puppy!” Jinx exclaimed, holding her finger up for emphasis. Vi shifted in her lap and Jinx let her hand fall back to her head.
“Eggs… on syrup… on toast?” Caitlyn asked as she wrinkled her nose slightly.
“Gotta get the protein and carbs in.” Jinx squinted at her. “The syrup makes it a little sweeter. Easy to make, you can buy all the things in bulk and they don’t go bad for a while.”
“Right.” Despite her words, Jinx wasn’t sure that Caitlyn understood the beauty of eggs on syrup on toast.
“It’s perfect!” Jinx told her. “If your bread is stale, the syrup helps soften it up. Not too much though, or it’ll get everything sticky. Then you get scrambled eggs. Mix everything together, it’s pretty hard to mess up scrambled eggs. Slap those puppies on the toast and you got breakfast.”
“I’m sure it’s good,” Caitlyn placated. Jinx huffed, blowing a strand of hair out of her face. “I had just… never considered the possibility before.”
“It’s Isha’s favorite breakfast.” It had been Jinx’s too before the shimmer ate away more of her appetite. “You’re missing out.”
“I’m sure.” Caitlyn seemed hesitant to be there. Jinx saw her glance back toward the door. Jinx wasn’t sure what Caitlyn thought she was going to do with a grown-ass woman on her lap pinning her in place.
Jinx sighed. Her attention turned toward Vi in her lap. It didn’t sit right with her for Vi to be the one seeking comfort and reassurances. Vi was the strong, unbreakable one. She was the fighter, the warrior. She wasn’t…
Jinx couldn’t think. Her mind was too full. She ran her fingers over the shorter side of Vi’s hair, trailing along where it abruptly turned long. Short hair was easier to take care of when they were kids. Easier to clean, needed less soap, less chance of getting lice, and easier to manage. The last haircut Jinx had was before Vander died. Vi’s was sometime more recently. Isha was beginning to grow hers out because she insisted on having it long enough for braids like Jinx’s. It was getting a little scruffy though, and Jinx was wondering if she could hash out a deal to give her a trim the next time she touched up the blue dye. It couldn’t be that hard to cut hair.
Jinx reached up and dug a knuckle into her eye, swallowing down a groan as she tried to quiet down the buzzing in her head. She hated sitting still. It felt like the shimmer crawled through her body and made her need to move with it. She tried to just focus on Vi. That was all that she needed to do.
Vi. Vi. Vi.
It had been a moment of desperation when Caitlyn had gone to the Undercity. She had tried for days to figure out Vi’s weird turn in mood. She tried to be patient when Vi snapped at her or seemed on edge. It wasn’t hard to piece together that it was regarding Jinx.
Caitlyn wanted Vi to be alright. She wanted her to be happy. Despite her reservations, Caitlyn descended to the Undercity to fetch Jinx.
Caitlyn wasn’t sure whether to expect Jinx’s cooperation. Sometimes it seemed like Jinx got along fine with Vi but other times she was a hair away from shoving the barrel of her gun against Vi’s forehead.
It felt like a dangerous game to play when she invited Jinx into her home. It felt like she was dishonoring her mother’s death and betraying her father.
She couldn’t be in her bedroom while Jinx was in there. At least not at the moment. Caitlyn left the room as Jinx stepped up to carefully eye Vi’s sleeping form before reaching out to touch her hair.
Caitlyn briefly heard Vi’s raised voice trying to get Jinx to leave, panicking thinking that Jinx had broken in and entered. Jinx tried to reassure her and then it quieted down. Caitlyn wasn’t sure if Jinx had left after the silence that had descended. She waited to see if any more noise would come from the room and figured that since it was quiet Jinx had fled and Vi was back to her weird mood.
She had not, however, expected to see Jinx sitting on the floor with Vi in her arms. Vi was nearly lying on her belly, her head pressed against Jinx’s collar and fingers gripping whatever she could. Jinx seemed content to just sit there.
Caitlyn inched a few steps into the room. Jinx’s eyes seemed to glow as they flickered up to land on her, and it made Caitlyn freeze for just a second. Caitlyn’s eyes fell onto the gun holstered on Jinx’s thigh. Jinx followed her gaze, and when she saw what she was looking at she rolled her eyes.
Caitlyn asked if Vi was asleep, which turned into a conversation about syrup on eggs on toast that Caitlyn had a hard time following. It was… odd to hear Jinx rant about something as mundane as breakfast.
She wasn’t sure if she was in her right mind. It finally hit her what she actually did as she watched Jinx comb her fingers through Vi’s hair. She’d seen Jinx show affection to Isha without a second thought, but seeing it directed toward Vi was something new and unfamiliar.
Jinx suddenly reached her hand up and dug her knuckle into her eye with a groan. The action sent a shiver up Caitlyn’s spine as she observed the girl warily.
“Focus, focus, focus,” Jinx chanted under her breath. “Shut up.”
“You said that eggs on syrup on toast were Isha’s favorite breakfast.” Caitlyn felt the words fall from her mouth before she could second-guess herself. Jinx’s head snapped to look at her, confusion on her face as her hand fell a little. “What do you like to eat?”
Jinx stared at her as if she had gone mad, and perhaps Caitlyn was if she was trying to make Jinx think of something so that she didn’t spiral and blow them all up.
“When—when I was younger,” Caitlyn continued, feeling like a fool, “I’d eat what I called hash rashers. It’s rashers in hashbrowns.”
Jinx squinted at her. “I have no idea what those are.”
Caitlyn fumbled for an explanation. “Um, rashers are pieces of bacon sliced thinly, and hashbrowns are potatoes that have been cut into small pieces or grated and then fried.”
The girl in front of her arched an incredulous eyebrow. “You eat potatoes for breakfast?”
It wasn’t that odd, at least not to Caitlyn. Then again, the idea of syrup on eggs on toast seemed odd to her. “Yes. I used to eat it all the time.”
“Huh.” Jinx hummed in thought, her brow furrowed for a moment. “I don’t really eat breakfast. I usually only pick at whatever is leftover from Isha. She’ll nag me about eating. I’m not picky. Well, I am, but it doesn’t really matter. Food is food, ya know?”
“If you had to pick your favorite, what would it be?” Caitlyn asked.
Jinx stared at her, her fingers stilling in Vi’s hair. She seemed to mull something over in her head before saying, “You’ve never had shimmer before, huh?”
Caitlyn swallowed down the indignation that rose with the question. “No.”
“There are three ways of ingesting it.” Jinx points to the crook of her arm. “Easiest way is injection. But clean needles aren’t always easy to come by. The most popular ways are swallowing or huffing. One or two doses? Doesn’t do anything. But the chemicals will mess with you.”
Caitlyn wasn’t sure how they got onto the current topic of conversation.
“People who heat it up and inhale the fumes can get more temporary side effects with the same intensity as swallowing it. Makes your mouth dry something fierce. It burns away at the inside of your nostrils. When shimmer addicts bleed from their noses from long-time use, we call it Janna’s waterfalls. Shimmery purple blood with healing capacities, although very diluted.”
Caitlyn admittedly didn’t know a lot about shimmer. She couldn’t take everything Jinx was saying as the truth, but she couldn’t dismiss it easily as a lie either.
“Swallowing it is common. They’ll mix it with something else. But like the nose, it’ll eat away before it repairs the damage. Lots of shimmer addicts have lost their sense of smell or taste because of it. Nerves are too damaged or something.” Jinx flapped a dismissive hand. “I don’t really taste much. Everything has a kinda sweet-burnt kinda taste. Not to mention the shimmer gives my body enough fuel that I don’t really need to eat.”
So out of all the mundane topics that Caitlyn thought were safe to talk about, she somehow picked one that offended Jinx.
“I didn’t know,” she said.
Jinx eyed her. “Obviously. What would a Piltie princess know about shimmer?”
Not enough. Caitlyn could never get close enough to witness it more and if she tried to bring some Topside then she could get into a huge amount of trouble. “Pretty much nothing.”
Jinx squinted slightly. She eyed Caitlyn before looking down at Vi, and then back up at her. Something was whirring in her mind and Caitlyn wished she knew what it was. Jinx’s eyes then trailed to the left slightly and focused on something that Caitlyn wasn’t sure was actually there.
“Why did you bring me here?” Jinx’s voice was quiet as her gaze settled on Caitlyn again.
Caitlyn didn’t know how to articulate it. Because Vi needed you. Because I love her. Because I want her happy. Because I fell for a woman whose sister is a terrorist. Because I want to hate you so bad but every time you come here I don’t fetch my gun. Because I don’t know how to feel about you anymore. Because I saw a little girl ready to shoot me as she hunched protectively over your body and I want to know why she loves you. Because you’re not an unfeeling psychopath despite how much I wish it were.
Caitlyn let her shoulders rise and fall. “Because she missed you.”
Jinx watched her. “I don’t understand you.”
Caitlyn wanted to admit that she didn’t understand Jinx either. She meant what she said about wishing Jinx was cold and unfeeling. It would have been so much easier if Jinx had loved nobody and nobody had loved her in return.
Jinx’s fingers stroked the baby hairs on the back of Vi’s neck. She didn’t seem to realize she was doing it. Her gaze was locked onto Caitlyn as if she were a puzzle.
“Pow Pow,” Vi mumbled sleepily and Jinx’s attention snapped onto her. Caitlyn readied herself for a retaliation. Jinx’s face twisted up unhappily before she harshly sighed.
“Go back to sleep, you big baby,” she muttered. Her fingers scratched at Vi’s scalp and Caitlyn already knew playing with Vi’s hair was the best way to soothe her.
Vi hummed softly. She shifted and Caitlyn thought she might get up, but Vi merely adjusted her weight on Jinx’s leg, which the girl then took the opportunity to readjust. She brought a knee up to bracket against Vi’s back. It honestly didn’t look that comfortable for either of them, but Vi settled back down and Jinx stopped squirming.
“I’m really glad you’re here, Jay,” Vi muttered against Jinx’s shoulder. Caitlyn watched as Jinx locked up, eyes widening in surprise.
“Just—” A small smile played on Jinx’s lips. “Sleep, ya big lump.”
“You’ll be here?” Vi asked quietly.
“Don’t know how I’ll go anywhere with your ass on me,” Jinx scoffed. She waited a moment before huffing, her tone softening a fraction. “Yeah. I’ll be here.”
Caitlyn eventually left before things got even more awkward or she said something that blew up the fragile truce between her and Jinx. She ran into her father in the kitchen. The man saw her and a tired smile graced his face.
“Caitlyn,” he greeted. “Where’s Vi?”
Upstairs with the terrorist who killed your wife. Caitlyn took a breath before saying, “She’s sleeping.”
“Good.” Tobias turned his back to look through the shelves once again. “She looks like she needed it.”
Tobias hadn’t exactly been open to Vi’s presence after the death of his wife. It was only when he walked in on Caitlyn sobbing her eyes out in Vi’s arms as the girl held her close that he seemed to begrudgingly realize that she was there to stay. He softened up when he saw that she made Caitlyn happy.
“She’s been out of it the past few days,” Tobias continued as he shut the shelves and turned his attention to where they kept the cold food. “Poor thing looked exhausted.”
“Yeah.” Caitlyn thought of Vi sprawled against her sister, looking calmer than she had for days. “She’s better.”
Tobias let out a sigh. “It’s one of those days where all the food looks the same.”
Caitlyn shuffled closer to him, peering over his shoulder to gaze over the contents of the food as well. “What do you think of breakfast for supper?”
A small smile grew on Tobias’s face. “Your favorite when you were younger. Am I to understand that you’re in the mood for hash rashers?”
A small part of Caitlyn expected to hear her mother’s fond sigh as she corrected them that it was “Hashbrowns and bacon rashers. We don’t use slang in this household.”
“Yeah.” Caitlyn supposed that she was in the mood. “Vi has yet to taste them.”
The two of them made hash rashers. Under the guise of bringing something to Vi, Caitlyn brought a plate upstairs.
Jinx was still there, starting to look bored and a little tired herself. She perked up slightly at the sight of the plate. “Whatchya got there?”
“Hash rashers.” Caitlyn held the plate out. Jinx blinked at the extended plate. “I can make Vi some later.”
Jinx eyed her weirdly and Caitlyn really hoped that she wasn’t going to say anything about it.
“I’d make Isha sticky eggs for every meal if I made it whenever she wanted,” Jinx said as she snatched the plate.
“Is that what you call it? Sticky eggs?” Caitlyn couldn’t help but ask.
Jinx set the plate down on the floor next to her. “Easier for her to sign. The toast part is implied.”
“Right.” Caitlyn took a breath. “I just wanted to drop the plate off.”
She left before Jinx could reject it or ask more questions. She ate alone at the table with her father. It was quieter than usual. Hash rashers tasted exactly how Caitlyn remembered them and it made a bit of her yearn for the days when things were simpler.
She ascended the stairs after the dishes were washed and hesitated before opening the door to her room.
She could hear the shower running in the bathroom, the drawers that held Vi’s clothes yanked open. The plate was on the desk, empty, and the window was open.
Caitlyn carefully entered the room and saw something tucked under the plate. She moved the plate just enough that she could see what it was. A scrap of paper, the edge smeared with grease, filled with blue marker.
Still think you Pilties are crazy eating potatoes for breakfast
The spidery scrawl could belong to only one person. It confirmed that Jinx had left. The rest of the little piece of paper was filled with the recipe to make sticky eggs, although with a lot of crude language and dumbed down. There was a little drawing of a potato and an egg fighting over who was better, both wielding guns.
Part of Caitlyn wanted to crumple the paper up as tight as she could and burn it. It was a reminder of what she had done. She didn’t want anything left of Jinx in her home.
Another part of her paused. She yanked the drawer of the desk open and shoved the paper inside of it, slamming it closed before she could think twice. She shut the window and stared out into the yard as if she’d see a head of blue hair still there.
The shower was turned off. A few minutes later, Vi exited and moved to stand behind her, wrapping her arms around Caitlyn’s waist.
It was quiet for a few moments. Caitlyn wasn’t sure what she should say to Vi. She settled on running her hand over the one wrapped around her.
“Thank you, Cupcake,” Vi whispered against her back. “You do not know how much I love you.”
You do not know how much I love you either , Caitlyn wanted to say. Vi was the only person in existence that Caitlyn would even think of interacting with Jinx for. Instead, Caitlyn turned to face Vi, draping her arms over her shoulders. “I love you too, darling.”
She really hoped that Vi knew how much.