cause I’m your ghost right now, your house is haunted

“Sasuke!” Naruto turns from his seat to smile at Sasuke. 

Sasuke stoically faced Naruto, his mind uncomfortable as it hit him what just happened. Sakura tearfully ran out the ramen shop and Sasuke had a feeling he was the reason behind it. 

“Thanks so much!” Naruto says paying for the ramen. Sasuke is just awkwardly standing there. 

Both of them exit the ramen shop and start walking down the street. Naruto carefree with his hands behind his head, Sasuke’s rigid body next to him.

Naruto looks over to Sasuke, making eye contact. Sasuke knows what’s about to happen next. 

“I don’t have to tell you anything, do I?”

“No.”

“Good.”

They continue to walk down the street leisurely. Kohona has changed since they were both boys. More people, different people. Different shops, newer buildings. Evolution to survive. 

“Does she hate me?” Sasuke blurts out. He looks straight ahead. Girls weren’t something they normally talked about, especially Sakura. 

”What do you think?” Naruto’s blue eyes look over to him. Sasuke’s eyes dart to him quickly. His eyes juxtaposed his teammates. Both had bright spring eyes that matched their personalities and his were dark, dark, dark. 

Sasuke’s silence answered for him. 

“She doesn’t. By the way. She could never, no matter how much you hurt her.” His tone turned serious as he stops. 

“You know, she asked me to bring you back and I promised her I’d bring you back.” Naruto raises an eyebrow, then goes back to being serious. “I don’t think I need to remind you what happened underneath the bridge. And before we fought…”

Sasuke sucks in a breath. He doesn’t want to go back there either. That was a different time. 

“Earlier before she left, I asked her what was wrong. She started to apologize and cry, kinda like when she asked me to bring you back. I know you think I’m an idiot and most of the time it’s the truth.” Naruto stares at Sasuke, “but not when it comes to you guys.” Naruto had resolve that was still wildly annoying to this day. Sasuke hoped Naruto would never changed. 

Sasuke couldn’t stand seeing Sakura cry, instinctively he grabbed her wrist trying to bring some solace, unaware of the damage he was doing. 

“I never saw what the other girls in the academy or for the fact what Sakura saw in you. She’s the head of the hospital. Did you know she opened up one for children? Of course you didn’t.”

Naruto’s tone is bitter, they never wrote about Sakura. It was awkward trying to bring her up to him or even Kakashi so he just watched her. Whenever he was near Kohona, he’d stop by, watching her from the shadows, listening to her. Sasuke knew this wasn’t right. He broke her heart and yet there he was, dying to get pieces of her in secret.

He knew what she had done. He was proud of her accomplishments. He stood back watching her work and earn all of it. 

Naruto sighs, the serious look on his face gone. “Everyone knows she loves you, and I know deep down you love her back. You don’t have to deny it, but it’d be nice if you accepted it.” He waits for a moment. 

“Sakura’s the type of girl who deserves it all. Eventually one day someone will give her that.” 

Sasuke’s chest tightened. He hated this feeling, jealousy. His lips tighten, he doesn’t want to see any guy with Sakura. They don’t deserve her. 

“She turns them down.” Brief relief comes to Sasuke when Naruto says that. “But a lot of us are in serious relationships. Her best friend Ino is dating Sai. Can’t forget Shikamaru who’s engaged to Temari…”

”I-“ Sasuke’s face reddens, he’s really trying to grasp on how to tell Naruto. There’s a part of him that feels like the only person who should know how he truly feels is the person on the receiving end: Sakura. 

“Just tell her how you feel.” He puts his hands on his hips. “Oh and flowers, girls love flowers. You know..Hinata and I are engaged so I do know a thing or two about relationships.” The stupid grin on his face washes away all doubt from Sasuke. 

“Congrats.” 

“Yeah, yeah. You better be there for it. It’d be even better if you and Sakura showed up together, you know.” He smiles. 

Walking away, he turns back and smirks, “just so you know, don’t mess this up. Or I’ll take your other arm out.” 

--

He wished he didn’t let her go in the ramen shop.

Sasuke was back in Naruto’s old apartment. He resolved that he was going to speak with Sakura but when he saw her at the ramen shop, he froze. 

Grabbed her wrist to make her stop crying, when the reason she was crying was right in front of her. This scene was on repeat in his mind. His one chance and it burned to the ground. Why didn’t he follow her? Why didn’t he pull her into his arms? She shouldn’t be crying, she should be happy. She is happiness. 

When Sasuke thinks of Sakura, his lips smile. He feels peace, like the scales are balanced, no clouds are in the sky, and everything is calm.

But when his wicked mind reminds him of all the hurt he’s caused her, his chest hurts. It feels caved in as if something’s missing. His heart.

After his talk with Naruto he stopped by a flower shop. The flowers he bought reminded him of Sakura. Pink, with some green and yellow. The ribbon twisted perfectly in a neat bow. These flowers weren’t going to fix anything but it could be a start. 

Should I go to the hospital?
Her apart-

The banging on the door snapped him out of his thinking. 

Walking over to the door, he swings it open. 

It’s his old sensei and the 6th hokage. 

Kakashi.

Chuckling he greets Sasuke and tries to make his way into the apartment, but Sasuke sticks his foot out.

“Why are you here?” 

“Can’t a teacher visit his old student?”

“No.”

“Well, what if I came to offer up advice?”

Sasuke sighs, and walks back into the apartment letting Kakashi follow him. They both sit at the table. 

“Wow, haven’t been here in a while.” Kakashi says looking around. Stark difference to kid Naruto’s messy apartment and adult Sasuke’s bare living.

“Get on with it.” He’s irritated, he was trying to think on how to proceed with Sakura.

“Well, well.” Kakashi leans over the table, his one visible eye full of mischief and teasing. Kakashi didn’t miss the flowers that were on the counter. 

“Never mind. Save it.” 

“What?” Kakashi pretends to look confused. Leaning back in his chair he waits for Sasuke to continue. 

“Are you here about Sakura?” His voice slightly drops when he says her name. 

“How did you know?” Kakashi smiles underneath his mask. Maybe his former student wasn’t so dense.

“I had a talk with Naruto earlier.” Sasuke admits, he was getting a feeling that his former mentor was about to give him a similar talk. 

“Okay.” Kakashi nods, then pauses, “did you get your checkup at the hospital yet?” 

Sasuke narrows his eyes, “yes.” 

“You didn’t speak with Sakura?” Kakashi asks, his tone treading lightly like if he says the wrong thing Sasuke will blow up like a bomb. Especially when it came to her. 

Sasuke sighs again. “No. She didn’t do the checkup. It was another medic. She was busy.” 

“Shizune did your check up?”

“I don’t know her name.” 

“Short black hair?” 

“Yes.” 

“I heard from her, you kept asking for Sakura.” 

Sasuke looks away for a moment. “I did.” 

Kakashi can’t help but smile. So much has changed since he was their sensei. So much. Not one for romance, huh?

“Is that why you’re here?” Sasuke asks. Kakashi and Naruto are all that he has. But they also know Sakura the best. 

”Do you remember when you were genin? As children she loved you in that little kid way where you don’t know better.”

”Of course.” When it came to Sakura, he never forgot. He couldn’t. Especially back to the genin days. A source of happiness and love from those days. 

“And then you guys grew up, obviously,” Kakashi continues, “she kept her feelings buried, but she still loved you. She put you above her own feelings.”

“Yeah.” Sasuke’s eyes veer out to the window, all his past actions kept coming back to haunt him. 

“She loves you, still does. Just let her love you and love her back. Don’t over complicate it when all it’s been is complicated.” His voice turns serious, “don’t have her keep chasing you if you can’t. You know what she deserves. We all do.” His eyes full of stern, making Sasuke uncomfortable. 

“The flowers are a nice touch.” 

///

He arrives at her apartment, knocking on the door. 

“Just a minute!” He hears her voice, his hand getting shaky. He’s never been one to be unnerved but when it comes to Sakura, it can’t be helped, like breathing. The cracks of light will always show his true feelings no matter how hard he tries to hide it. 

A few moments pass and Sasuke debates on leaving, his heart is too damn loud. Running away is for cowards and all he feels is fear running through his blood. He squeezes the flowers, in his one hand. This is uncharted territory and the map he has is illegible.

The doorknob turns and the door opens, Sakura smiling, her eyes at Sasuke’s chest, then slowly rising, her smile downturning as she realizes who it is. 

She slams the door shut. 

Sakura leans her back against the door, so surprised it’s Sasuke. But the same time she’s not surprised, she’s been thinking of him so much it was bound to happen.

Kinda thought you’d only ever be in my dreams and memories. 

Sakura places both hands on the door, steadying her self, trying not to give in.

It’s so much easier to fight with your ghost. The memories of you, so bittersweet to the taste it’s my only sustenance. 
And in my dreams I only ache for you in the way heartbreak never exists. 

A painfully long minute passes and there’s an another knock this time slower. 

“Just-just go away.” 

“I can’t do that.” 

A bitter laugh escapes Sakura. “Oh really? You’ve done it plenty of ti-“

“Please?” It’s quiet she almost doesn’t hear it. 

“Please?” He says louder. 

Sakura twists, her ear on the door. Hearing his voice in person does something to her she doesn’t think any one in this lifetime will ever do to her.

He’s on the other side of the door, his eyes are closed, his heart on the line. Sasuke loosens his grip on the flowers, hoping she opens the door.

Closing her eyes, she takes a breathe, and slowly opens the door. So much for not giving in. 

He’s surprised she opened the door, but takes a step forward. Quickly she crosses the doorway and closes the door. “Not here. Please.”

She leads the way outside and onto the street. He has no choice to but to follow her, not that he’d choose anything different. His eyes don’t look away from her. Her short hair, red shirt, purple skirt. It’s all Sakura. 

Sakura doesn’t turn back to make sure he’s following her, she knows he is. 

1. 2. 1. 2. 1. 2.

She counts, trying to calm down. She has no idea where she’s leading him. Maybe an old training ground? Maybe the edge of the forest? Somewhere with privacy. 
Buildings and people slowly disappear and they’ve past the forest and are near a waterfall. 

She turns around and he stops, not to bump into her. 

“Uh,” she softly laughs nervously, looking around. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea. 

Who was going to speak first? 

Sakura’s face turns pink, she’s so nervous while he stands there so cool and collected. 

He’s right there. Less than two feet away, she has to look up to see him. She tries to focus on the sound of the water while she waits for him to speak first. Except she finally looks down to his hand and sees a bouquet of flowers. Pink, green, and yellow. He’s the one who sought after her…and brought her flowers.

Sasuke steps forward, his eyes on her, they’re in an open space but it feels too much and she steps back. Sakura’s nervous feet trip over themselves and as she falls back, there is a rock that cuts her ankle. 

“Ah!” The sharp cut stings as she’s on the ground in front of Sasuke. 

“Sakura!” He drops the flowers and quickly leans down, offering his shoulder for her to take. She wraps on arm around and together they both stand. His arm is around her waist. She blinks rapidly, she hasn’t been this physically close to Sasuke since…

“Over there.” He says, there’s a big flat rock that she can sit on. 

They slowly walk over to it and Sakura shakes her head. “I can heal myself, don’t worry about me.” 

He gives her a look and takes off his cape, leans past her and throws it on the rock Sakura limps two steps to the giant rock and leans back. She scoots up to get higher on the rock, lifting up her injured leg close to her chest.

Sasuke kneels, grabbing gauze from his pack. 

Sakura blushes, Sasuke’s hand holding the back of her heel, while he rips the gauze with his teeth to wrap around her bleeding ankle. She can’t help but stare at him. 

They both know that she could have done it herself, but the look Sasuke gave her told her to let him. 

Being near by him, looking into his eyes, she felt like it was coming home. This natural feeling between the two of them, it made her feel safe.  

It all felt so comfortable and she was scared because how easy it felt to be with him. Comfortable silence, between the two of them she didn’t need to fill the silence with nonsense. Her Sasuke being sweet to her for an injury she could heal herself. 

Tears start forming, and she wishes she could stop crying. 

Sasuke looks up, worried, his eyes full and his mouth closed.

She sniffles, wipes her tears and shakes her head. 

Sasuke finishes wrapping the gauze and Sakura wishes he didn’t. His fingers soft and tender to her ankle and foot. 

He stands up, putting the gauze away and extends his hand out. 

His fingers wrap around her palm and he leans down. Looking at her, he waits. 

Sakura bites her lower lip, staring into his eyes. She reaches over and brushes his bangs, looking into his other eye. 

Sasuke’s eyes widen at the soft touch and eye contact. 

“Thank you.” 

His lips slightly upturn, and Sakura blushes at his smile. 

She wraps her arms around his shoulders as she gets on his back. Sasuke stands up, carrying her back to her apartment. 

“Thank you. Again.” She says as she sits down at a chair in the kitchen.

Sasuke stands awkwardly, waiting for her to make the first move.

“Come sit. We’re not done. We didn’t even start.”

Sitting across from her, Sasuke doesn’t look away from Sakura’s face.

I don’t want you to hate me. I don’t want you to hate me. I don’t want you to hate me. 

What happens when the one person who’s loved you so much turns to hate you? 

“I’ll do anything. I’ll grovel, I’ll-,” Sasuke chokes out, he reaches  his hand out for hers but pulls back his only hand into a fist. He looks back up to Sakura.

“Sakura,” any softer and his voice wouldn’t be heard, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” 

This feels like deja vu, looking up at her, while she healed him and Naruto. Clarity was all he felt after that fight. Clarity that made him apologize, but not clear enough to tell her his feelings for her.

He’s emotional right now, looking into her eyes all the can think about is her. 

For everything, for what I put you through. Don’t think I’ll ever be forgiven for these sins.

“For hurting you, for always hurting you.”

Sakura’s face crumbles and he panics, why is he always making her cry.

He reaches his hand out and outs it on top of hers. “That night you tried to stop me, when we were kids I was couldn’t go to sleep that night.” His thumb rubs over her hands, “you’ve always been on my mind. But that night I realized a couple of things. One that  you care way too much about me and in all truth I dont deserve it, I don’t think I’ll ever deserve it.” He swallows, he looks at her, he needs to continue. 

“I also realized that the feelings you would declare about me, is the same way I felt about you. That scared me, I was embarking on a journey you couldn’t follow. So I did what I thought was correct. I tried to break it off.

I don’t want there to be any miscommunication. When I apologized to you that was the truth. I lied to you at the gate.

I won’t ever be worthy to be loved the way you love me. I tried to leave because you deserve someone, but then I realized I love you, I couldn’t handle seeing you with anyone else. I want to be the one making you smile and happy, and that if you still love me I promise you—I’ll prove to you that I can be worthy. When-when you said you could make me happy and everyday would be a joy, I had no doubt you could do that, honestly even more. It’s me that has to work for it. I hope you don’t hate me, that maybe in all of this you don’t hate me because if you do, I don’t think I could ever recover.” He blinks fast, it’s the truth. No one truly knows her feelings. Kakashi and Naruto have said she’s always loved him but what kind of person loves someone who’s put them through hell? His eyes don’t move from her face. It’s Sakura. Bright, kind, selfless Sakura. 

“I don’t deserve any happiness in this life, on my journey of atonement, I’ve healed and I hope I can move forward into becoming a better person. My past actions won’t be washed away, but I hope my present and future actions will show in the way I’ve changed.” The weight is off of Sasuke’s shoulders, he’s spoken the truth to Sakura. 

“There’s a part of me that will probably die off knowing I left you thinking that I hate you. I don’t hate you, I could never hate you.” Sakura responds. “I’ve always loved you and I will always love you."

The look on Sakura’s face breaks Sasuke’s heart. 

“My favorite part of my travels were seeing the spring in different lands. I couldn’t take a step without thinking of you. Your eyes,” he struggles and just speaks his mind, “your eyes are brighter than grass in the high of spring. I stopped each time I passed any pink flower. You were there always.” 

“No matter how hard I try, I’ll never hate you. It’s kinda pathetic how much I love you and how I’ll never stop loving you.” 

Sasuke doesn’t know why but her statement wakes him up, like he realizes he was in a bad dream he didn’t know he needed to wake up from. Warmth returns to his body, she loves him.

”Sakura, it’s always been you. There will never be anyone else. It’s been you, I-I don’t think there is light in this world without you. You’re what keeps this beating.” He pulls one hand to his chest. The steady beat of it. The gentle breathing.

Sakura retracts one hand and places it over her heart, “I-I can’t believe you feel the same way. It really makes me happy, but how can we move forward? I’m still hurting, I-I,” Sakura’s eyes look down down with realization Sasuke wishes she didn’t. “I’m still hurting.” She looks up. All Sasuke can do is wish this wasn’t the present, that he could reverse time. 

Her green eyes glassy, waiting for his response. 

How both wished things could have been done earlier on, now that their best years were behind them. So brutally buried in their memories.