Chapter 9
Jinx loudly sipped her hot chocolate as she stared ahead at the blank TV screen. Her brain was whirling and pirouetting and bubbling and rotting with thoughts of last night.
”I don’t hate you!”
When she woke up to find her apartment empty she had been half-convinced it had all been a dream. But the blanket was folded up far too neatly on the couch, the pillows fluffed in a way she rarely bothered with and, most glaringly, there was a text waiting for her from Caitlyn; all of it evidence that Jinx had not had some weird sleep-deprived hallucination.
The message had been nothing more than Cait making sure she had the right number and Jinx confirming it but the exchange still set birds and butterflies loose in her stomach in a way she was unsure if she liked or not.
”-I want to be…with you…”
She slurped even louder in an attempt to drown out the noise in her head, letting the drink warm up her bones.
She almost wanted to wave it off as a bad joke on Caitlyn’s part but she could still vividly remember the kiss and the earnestness in her voice as she promised over and over she meant it…
Caitlyn didn’t hate her.
Had apparently never hated her.
Instead the reason she had abruptly pulled back and ignored her years ago had been –as far as Jinx could deduce– because she felt attracted to her.
Never in a thousand years would she have been able to guess at the truth. It was just so unbelievable, so mind-bogglingly unexpected and yet it was, apparently, real.
As real as last night.
The reveal still had Jinx unbalanced, trying to reconcile what Caitlyn had said with years of convincing herself she was despised by her. If Cait wasn’t lying that meant Jinx had gone around hating someone she had once considered a friend for no reason, which made something turn sour in her stomach.
’Well, not for no reason,’ She reassured herself, ’Caity-Cat is still the one that decided to act like we were less than strangers overnight.’
And the why still poked and prodded at her gray matter; Why had Caitlyn decided that acting like Jinx didn’t exist and avoiding her like a plague-ridden rat was the right move? Because what? She was attracted to her?
Why would–
The realization that Caitlyn and hers’ ‘falling out’ had been literal years ago hit her like a truck.
It had been way before Cait and Vi broke up, she would have been… what? Sixteen? Seventeen? The exact age she’d been escaped her but it meant Cait had felt something for her all the way back in Jinx’s angry teenage years…
Felt enough of that something to feel like distance and avoidance was the best choice, enough to carry that something around for years…
That probably shouldn’t make Jinx feel as good as it did.
Or maybe it should? Knowing a beautiful woman –and, oh boy, she was thinking of Cait in ways she never had before– might’ve been pining for her? Like one of the hapless love interests from those sappy romance books that Vi thinks no one knows she enjoys.
It made her guts twist around in excitement and her brain buzz pleasantly in the same way it did when she could see a date or hookup unable to take their eyes off her, but magnified tenfold.
Jinx glanced down at the brief text exchange they’d had earlier.
More proof Jinx had actually told Caitlyn Kiramman she would give her a chance at…whatever it was that she wanted. That being, in the Piltie’s own words, her.
Jinx.
’What the fuck is happening?’ The question echoed unanswered in the cavernous caverns in her skull.
The thought of going out with Caitlyn on some kind of date was, oddly enough, not that off-putting despite the fact that Jinx had spent years thinking Caitlyn hated Jinx and hating her in return. Being able to think about Cait in a way that wasn’t marred with all that made it shockingly easy to feel genuinely, actually excited for whatever this was.
The last time she had ever gone out with someone with more intentions than just getting laid or having someone to join her fun out on the town must have been one of the very first dates she had ever gone on as a teenager.
She had agreed to let Caitlyn take her out on a date, a real one. Jinx’s first proper date in ages and, boy, didn’t that just make her feel even more weird stuff.
Truth was, she had no idea what had possessed her to agree, and especially to demand Caitlyn prove she was serious by kissing her!
’It was a pretty good kiss though, gotta admit.’
Jinx felt her face heat up and she brought up a finger to trace her lips as she recalled every last detail of Cupcake’s lips on hers. She had tasted whiskey, probably, and beer, definitely, last night and wondered just how much Caitlyn had had to drink before she had driven to Zaun and Jinx’s apartment in the middle of the night.
Had she been drinking herself stupid at home? Head filled with Jinx? Wrestling with whatever had been holding her back for years over confessing to her? Had she been drowning herself in liquor in some bar beforehand?
A tiny, shrill and annoying little voice in a tiny corner of her mind asked if she was really stupid enough to think this was anything other than a cruel joke, a drunken mistake, a dare from some of her richy-rich friends to fuck with the nutty little idiot Cait had known once?
Warmth bled out of her and Jinx blinked furiously.
The kiss hadn’t felt fake. It had felt good and nice even. Caitlyn had sounded sincere, so painfully sincere, and Jinx surprised herself with how badly she wanted it to be real.
“I am not joking. I am not lying. I mean every word, I swear.”
Did she though? Did she really?
Or had Jinx imagined the sincerity in her voice? The longing in her eyes?
Jinx sat the mug down roughly and fell back on the couch with her face twisted in a frown and her arms crossed over her chest.
’Fuck it.’ She finally decided, pushing aside any second thoughts. ’Even if Cupcake’s just tryin’ to mess with me I can still teach Vi a lesson.’
She was trying to come up with ways to get Caitlyn to help her anyway, so what if Cait was trying to fuck with her in the process? Whether this was real or some prank on Caitlyn’s part didn’t really matter to her plan, right?
For some reason getting back at Vi didn’t feel as appealing anymore…maybe she should just scrap the whole thing…so what if Vi had called Silco while drunk off her ass? Pops wouldn’t have done that shit without asking Jinx so nothing would have happened anyway, right?
…but the chance –however small– of going on a real date with Cupcake Kiramman herself made her more excited than she’d been for anything else in years; as if years of hating Caitlyn had disappeared with the same ease as just flicking a switch, like her brain had grasped onto the possibility of Caitlyn not hating her like a lifeline as soon as she heard those sweet words from those pretty lips…
…like it- like she had just been waiting for any excuse to let go of all negative feelings towards Cait…any reason to stop forcing herself to hate pretty Cait with the pretty words…
Pretty Cait with her pretty, gap-toothed smile…
Pretty Cait with her pretty eyes…
Pretty Cait who towered over almost everyone else with her long legs and smooth, confident stride…
’Oooooh boy.’ Jinx sucked in a breath.
Why couldn’t stuff just be simple?
<><><><><>
Caitlyn hadn’t been able to stop smiling since she woke up at the crack of dawn with a small hangover, a stiff back and surprisingly clear memories of last night, of her confession.
After scavenging some Advil from Jinx’s bathroom and washing it down with tap water, Cait had fixed up the couch she’d slept on and practically ran out of the apartment. As she stood waiting for the elevator her mind had started racing with ideas and plans for her date with Jinx.
Her date with Jinx.
The thought still made her heart soar.
From waiting for the elevator to standing in it to getting back in her car and leaving Zaun her brain had been busy making a list of places and things to do, dismissing some outright now that she had a semi-clear head, like simply going to some bar or club because this was special and she wanted it to feel that way to Jinx as well.
Even now, as she read through her latest case at the office, her face was split by a stupid smile and her mind couldn’t stop wandering back to the feeling of pressing her lips to Jinx’s, reliving it again and again, every other moment.
Without meaning to, she raised a finger to trace over her lips, the phantom sensation of Jinx’s mouth still lingering, sighing happily as she closed her eyes and recalled bubblegum and coffee.
“You seem happy.” An amused voice remarked, shaking her back to reality.
Caitlyn startled and she quickly pulled her hand down as her cheeks heated up under glittering gold eyes.
Mel had a knowing grin on her face as she stood over Caitlyn’s desk, one hand on her hip and the other bracing herself on the desk.
“Mel.” She greeted meekly, suddenly very aware of where she was.
The office was perhaps not the best place to get lost thinking about Jinx.
“Good morning to you too, Caitlyn.” Mel’s voice never lost that amused quality.
“Jayce said you drank-and-dashed last night, something about a girl if I remember correctly?” Caitlyn averted her eyes and pressed her lips together, trying in vain to push her blush down.
“So please,” She leaned on the desk and took her hand off her hip to make a flourishing gesture, “regale your best friend with who this woman that has you smiling like a fool at work is.”
Caitlyn grimaced as she realised her boss and friend had no intention of leaving until she got what she wanted. For the first time Caitlyn wished Mel was slightly less driven and stubborn.
“It’s… nothing.” Caitlyn tried lamely to wave it off, hoping in vain that she could get Mel to drop it.
She just smiled wider, like a shark smelling blood, and leaned down closer to Caitlyn.
“Nothing, is it?” Maybe if she faked a heart attack she could escape this conversation before it was too late? “Mmmm… I don’t think nothing would make you leave poor Jayce and Viktor to pay after dragging them to a bar in the middle of the night, in fact…”
Caitlyn’s breath froze in her throat as dread descended upon her.
’I swear if Jayce told her….’
“...I believe,” Please no, Caitlyn pleaded, hoping against hope, “he mentioned a certain pair of sisters-”
’Jayce Talis, your days are numbered.’ Caitlyn thought grimly amidst her spiral of helplessness.
“-and imagine my surprise when he specified which sister you were so twisted into knots over.”
Caitlyn slumped and let her head hit the desk as she groaned loudly, all the while her former friend looked down at the miserable Kiramman with the expression of a satisfied cat.
“Your ex’s sister, Caitlyn, really? Tsk-tsk.” Mel took on a disappointed tone that still quivered with humour. “What would Mother Kiramman think if she knew?”
Caitlyn raised her head just enough to stare up at her with pained eyes.
“Enough, please.”
Mel’s face softened and she moved over to stand next to her, laying a hand on her shoulder and pulling the papers she had laid her head on out from under her and shuffling them to the side.
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist after I saw you acting like that.” Like a love-struck idiot she meant. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
She didn’t. She really didn’t, would rather chew razor blades in fact.
But she also really wanted to tell someone, anyone, about it. Tell how she had showed up in the middle of night with nothing but liquid courage in her chest and a confession on her lips and how she had told Jinx everything, how she had watched the woman grow warily believing and how she asked Caitlyn to kiss her and how she gave her a chance! A chance!
She looked up pathetically at Mel, considering taking the offered way out for a long moment.
“Alright.” She sighed and sat up properly again. Mel took her hand away and went around the desk, sitting down in the chair on the other side with grace that could make a bean bag look like a throne.
Cait closed her eyes and collected her thoughts, the need to tell someone outweighing everything else.
“I’m all ears.” Mel spoke when she opened her eyes again.
She took a deep breath to steady herself. This was Mel, if there was anyone she could tell it was her.
“A week or two ago I was in Zaun-”
<><><><><>
A violent sneeze interrupted Vi mid-sentence.
The hairs on the back of her neck stood up and a feeling as if something had just turned the world on its head fell over her.
After a moment of wondering she mentally shrugged and went back to talking with Mylo and Claggor.
It was probably nothing.