Wanderer

I sit on the cold stone beneath me. The sun sets on a gray valley. Abandoned. Empty. 

The residents aren’t bustling. The bare ground is only soil and dry, shriveling grass. Trees litter the floor, dead. The houses are crushed, some persisting by still standing half destroyed. No sign of life can be seen anywhere.  

My life is starting to look like this every day. A mere nomad, a lone shinobi walking the globe, an empty shell. Eyes constantly on alert for any enemies out to get me. 

I hate having to confront them. They’re my kin, my blood, my comrades. 

But they’re my enemies as well. 

I stare at the bodies and splashes of crimson in the shadows of the valley. Tucked under houses. Buried under trees. Some are laid against hills, burned patches on their exposed stomachs from my blows. 

They were killed by my blade. By me. 

I swallow hard, get up, and move from the area. Another minute there and I’ll get nauseous. 

Staying there will only disgrace their honorable Konoha status. 

…............................................. 

I manage to get some rations from a kind old lady.  

She is blind, so she can’t see my recognizable face, but she had heard of the rumours, of warnings. 

“It’s important to get your food here! Nowhere else is safe, boy. Have you heard of that shinobi, Boruto? Killed the hokage of Konoha, apparently.” 

I can only nod and say I had heard the rumours.  

“Be careful out there, boy! You could encounter him anytime. He’s a wanted criminal and worth a lot!” 

I thank her for her generosity and get out of there as quick as I can. Rumors mean people, and people mean a threat. 

I run until I reach a small lake with a sparkling sandy shore. The sun is high in the sky, but it’s a pale white light as clouds are starting to gather. I eat my meal of bread and rice quickly. 

I don’t move after I finish though. I’m stuck, even though I need to go. Escape. 

The clouds get darker until rain pours from them.  

It’s as if the sky is mourning for me when I can no longer shed any tears. There’s no time, not even if I’m resting. 

I appreciate it though. When I must weep but somehow unable to, at least I have a friend that will. 

Alone I stand, feeling the rain streak down my face and soak my hair. 

Alone. 

................................................................ 

A small pup ends up nestling in my arms when I fall asleep two days later. 

When I wake, I notice her cream fur and her blue eyes. They remind me of my own.  

They’re deep and reflect the innocence of nature, a reminder that somewhere far and isolated, there is still something to look forward to. Beauty. Hope. Love. 

Reunion. 

I feel a sudden wave of sadness hit me. I gently pet the pup’s head and she weakly leans into the touch. I stroke around her, despite blue, encrusted and bloody eyes. I run my hand down her scarred back. 

The blue eyes. 

Himawari. Hima.  

I remember her smile and the joy in her voice when she sees me after a long mission. I remember her cute outfits. Her love for animals and all things small. She loved cake and family parties. I remember the family trips. The markets we used to walk. The parks we trained in. The nights we stayed up giggling. 

I remember... 

I remember dad and his confidence, his strength, his will to protect. I remember his stupid faces when he was confused or surprised. The smell of ramen always emanating from him. His big heart. His bad jokes. His laugh. His safe embrace. 

I remember mom and her cooking. Her ghostly yet gentle eyes. Her strict voice when I got in trouble. Her soft voice when I needed reassurance. The scent of her homemade detergent on my freshly washed clothing. Her sweet face. Her presence when I had nightmares. 

I remember Kawaki and his weird haircut. He loved taiyaki and scenery. He suffered from seasickness. He hated neatly trimmed sleeves. He had gray eyes. Soft skin yet calloused hands from training too hard. He was warm when I leaned onto his shoulder when I couldn’t sleep on missions. I remember the softness of his cloak when he blanketed me with it silently. His confused expression when he didn’t understand a joke. 

I remember... 

I always knew.  

But I never brought it to the surface.  

That realization hits me when the pup sits on my lap and starts to breathe heavily. I’m out of bandages and ointment I used on my own wounds. There are no medicinal herbs around the area to use either. I try to swallow the lump again. 

I can only stroke the pup softly as she closes her eyes. Her beautiful eyes. 

I can only whisper an apology as her last breath escapes from her to join the wind. 

“I’m sorry...” 

I’m sorry I shut out your memories. 

…....................................................................... 

The flames crackle silent and loud at the same time. My mind is the same with its burning questions hotter than the orange blaze. 

Where are you now? Are you still there? 

Are you out to get me? Are you against me? Do you think about me anymore? 

Mom? Dad? Where did you go? What happened to you to make everything go wrong? 

Hima? Do you remember me anymore? Does Kawaki talk about me?  

Do you wish for those times again? The parks, the homemade food, the bad jokes, the sleepless nights? Do you miss the warmth, the companionship, the shared laughs, the small smiles, the soft voices? 

I don’t want to hurt. I try not to hurt.  

But I think about them and a huge lump forms in my throat again. I swallow, but it doesn’t leave. 

Sensei is gone. I don’t know where anybody else is either. I am alone. 

Where are you? Where are you? 

I wish to see you all again. Life is gray without you. Is life gray for you too? Lifeless? With no color, no joy, no rest? 

Mom, I miss your voice. 

Dad, I miss your smile. 

Hima, I miss your eyes. 

Kawaki, I miss your strength. 

I miss you. I miss you all so much. 

I only hope we can reunite on good terms one day. 

…......................................................... 

To my family: 

I am Boruto Uzumaki. My world is gray and cold. 

But I wish with all my heart that it wasn’t. 

I don’t want it to be cold. I want Kawaki’s warmth. I want Hima’s comfort. I want dad’s protection and mom’s gentleness. 

I want it to be just like it was. Before I was lost. 

Before I was alone. 

The numbness of my heart suddenly shatters as my eyes swim in pools of aching. 

I am a wanderer, but I love you all so much. Please stay alive, so I may get to see you once more in the future. 

…................................................