Whimpers in The Dark

Kakashi fumbled back to his apartment, having to lean against a tree on occasion. He entered his apartment, chest heaving, and went to lay down on his futon. Kakashi stared up at the grey ceiling, stealing a few glances around the room occasionally in uncertain nervousness. A few times he could've sworn he heard Rin actually screaming his name when he closed his eyes, only to be now fully awake and petrified. He had heard stories of people going crazy after hard battles, hell his father was almost a prime example, but they were always adults, late into their 30s or 40s, never a kid. Kakashi's bleary eyes drooped shut, unbeknownst to a Tsunade who had gotten off her shift early, watching him from his own backyard. 'If he seems ok in the next hour or so I'll go home,' she decided. There was just something gnawing at her saying 'Stay with him, protect him, hug him' call it what you will, she cared for the kid and didn't want him to follow his father's footsteps.

A few hours later, after Tsunade had left, Kakashi bolted awake yelling. He frantically blinked his eyes, throwing the sweat drenched and clinging blanket off of him. His breath came in uneven heaves, eyes wide and teary frantically trying to rid themselves off Rin's twisted and mangled appearance in the nightmare. Kakashi sat hunched over, clinging his pants. He looked between his hands and all he saw was blood on his right, frantically, he ran to the sink, turned on the water and started scrubbing. He must've stood there for hours, just scrubbing his hands till he felt it was 'okay' to stop, because when he finally did stop, his hands were red and raw. Kakashi couldn't go back to sleep so he decided on checking to make sure he had enough food for the week, and dog treats. After that, he tried to tidy the apartment a bit, he glanced at the clock sometime in between sweeping and dusting, noticing it was hardly even 4 am. 'Oh well, tough shit, guess I'll go see if the Hokage has any missions I can take for the day. Maybe it'll distract me', Kakashi thought. He went to the bathroom and washed his face, then put on his mask. Walking out of the bathroom the wood floor creaked underneath Kakashi's feet. Kakashi looked at his hands, noticing how raw they looked, 'Where are my gloves at again? Oh yeah'. He went and grabbed his gloves off of the kitchen counter, placing them on. He wracked his brain, trying to figure out if he was leaving anything, and finally he went out the door a few hours after sunrise, locking it behind himself. 

The walk to the Hokage's office was rather uneventful. It was a warm sunny day, and there were children running around playing in the streets, parents wearily treading behind. Kakashi kept his gaze fixed on the concrete beneath his feet, shuffling along, annoyed that other people were happy right now. He knew it was illogical to be mad about that, but he was over here, hardly understanding his emotions and trying to process what happened two days ago, while there are people out here carefree as can be. He wanted to cut again, but he was scared to considering yesterday. A kid ran past Kakashi, too busy focusing on being chased to pay attention to where he was going and plowed into him. Kakashi didn't have time to brace himself and him and the kid went tumbling down, "Ouch- shit! What the hell kid?!" Kakashi exclaimed as he landed on his injured arm. The kid stood up angry for being yelled at, "Well maybe watch out!" Kakashi's throat bubbled, startled and angry "Well maybe you should watch where your running!!" Kakashi grinded his teeth with anger, both from his arm now in pain, and the kid he was arguing with. After a round or two of yelling the kids mom eventually showed up, of course angry at Kakashi and not her kid. Kakashi had to keep reminding himself that he couldn't hurt civilians over and over again during the interaction, and finally the woman and her kid left. Kakashi was fuming, tears pricking the corners of his eyes, clenching and unclenching his fists. He wanted to let out his anger, but there was no way he was sparring with someone right now, so he decided on punching a tree, hard. Kakashi finished after a few moments and with stinging knuckles, finished his trek to the Hokage's office.

Kakashi met the Anbu at the door with a wave, trying to casually keep his arm out of view. He knew most people wouldn't question a cut on a ninja, but these were Anbu, they were scary with their deciphering abilities. The Anbu on duty, Weasel, waved back and allowed entry. The teen looked tired but Weasel knew it wasn't their place to mother-hen a Jounin. Kakashi traveled through the towers halls until reaching the Hokage's office, taking note of how busy things were. Anbu and Jounin alike treading the halls relentlessly. After all, the Third was on the brink of retiring and people were trying to get paperwork and other stuff sorted out beforehand. Once he reached the Hokage's door, he went in after an Anbu at the door cleared him.

"Hello, Kakashi," the Third Hokage blearily greeted, hardly looking up from his paperwork.