Chapter 6
??? DAYS ??? WEEKS ??? YEARS LATER
Hotaru’s POV
The house is - thankfully - quiet.
(I’m so fucking hungry I could eat a horse!)
I manage to pull most of the surrounding greenery off of me, but wince a little at the…
(It’s not like anyone thinks I’m pretty anyway. A few more scars won’t hurt.)
I struggle to stand, my legs shaking and dark spots appearing in my vision when I get mostly upright. I sigh and quickly pull a staff out of the floor underneath me.
(I knew it was quiet out here, but they left me alone? Should I be grateful or pissed off?)
Pain surges inside my chest as I stare at my ground-floor room. Papers and maps were still all over the paper, someone’s notes spill out over one of the recreated cushions that Obito and Kakashi seemed fond of as kids. From what little I remember of them, before Obito’s ‘death’.
“Well,” I sigh, bending over to pick up the notes, “Better get started cleaning.”
I manage to sort everyone’s notes out - apparently, Madara was taking notes? - and place them in front of where they usually sit and stack most of the cushions away in a small chest I keep for them.
Then I get started on cooking myself some rice.
“Dammit, I’m going to lose a Seal Mark!” I growl, struggling to lift the bucket properly, “Why is water-”
Large, gloved hands quickly grab the bucket before I can flip it over myself.
I twist, wide-eyed, and Madara is very pink in the face as he sets the water bucket on the top of the counter.
“I go grab a snack, and that’s when you wake up…” He grumbles, I blink at him, something going loose and…happy? “Of fucking course that’s when you wake up.”
(Am I…happy to see him? Happy I wasn’t left alone? Why-why am I happy about him!?)
“Please go sit.” I go sit on my favorite cushion, which, ironically is also Obito’s favorite cushion. “Would Omurice be acceptable?”
“More than,” I mutter, staring at him as he begins to fearlessly prepare enough for both of us. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
Madara Uchiha’s POV
(Please, dear Amaterasu, do not have seen the doodles!)
The blush from seeing her in clothes from her era - I’d rather not embarrass myself again, thank ‘Tobi’, you’re an ass - is just dying down as I begin pouring the rice into one of the big pots Kakashi managed to drag out from…wherever ‘Kamui’ is.
(Wait, shit, she cleaned the table! There’s no way she didn’t see my stupid doodles! I’m dead, so, so, dead!)
My entire face burns with embarrassment, and I almost drop the damn lid to the rice container-
“HOTARU!”
SHKT
My sword lands half an inch too far forward to injure or blind ‘Hound’ as ‘Tobi’ yanks him back by the shirt collar.
“Amaterasu’s flames! Are you two okay?!” Hotaru shrieks the familiar curse as I double over, breathing hard, ‘Tobi’ snickers loudly, but releases Hound.
“Stop being an ass, ‘Tobi’.” Hound scolds, but then bounds to Hotaru’s side, “We’re doing great, pup! How are you, though?”
“I’m tired and hungry, but Uchiha-kun’s making Omurice-”
“You don’t need to pretend, anymore,” Tobi says to her dryly, she looks over at him and narrows her eyes. “Not that part…any of those parts, really - but we told them you’re both Uchiha and Senju.”
“I heard that much.” She grumbles, Hound very gently hugs her, and she relaxes into his chest more easily than I’ve seen any Shinobi-
(“-you all got your asses handed to you by an untrained civilian-”)
…
“Here’s your sword, tomato-face.”
“I’m gonna stab you.” There’s no heat behind my threat and everyone knows it, but Hotaru looks amused. “Shut up, please, Firefly.”
“Holy shit!”
“Did you just use manners?!” Both masked shinobi laugh at me as I swing at ‘Tobi’ and the sword goes through him like he’s a ghost, and-
…
Both of them stop as I eye the cabinet door with trepidation.
“...that one was-”
“Having anything that’s an inhalation danger is ridiculous when you’re using them to cook with.” Hotaru frowns over all of us, and I sigh deeply. “...but I think that’s where the Pokeweed is…”
“The what!?” I’m scandalized, Hound sounds annoyed enough to yell - it only happened once - and Tobi is confused.
“Y’know those ‘poisonous’ blueberries that landed you in the hospital as a kid, Tobi?” Hotaru seems smug, and Tobi takes a step back. “Thought that would fade with time, huh, jerk? Tried to eat my favorite snack-”
“You were two and made that bush flower in the living room! How was I supposed to know that you’re batshit insane!?” Tobi snarks back, Hotaru and Hound’s eyes narrow, “Wait, shit, I didn’t mean it-”
He starts backing away quickly-
“Kick his ass, Inu-chan!” Hotaru yanks a spatula out of the wood of the table,
“With pleasure!” Hound grabs it and jumps at Tobi,
“I SAID I DIDN’T MEAN IT!” Tobi yowls, wheeling around and sprinting for it, Toneri raises an eyebrow as the two stampede past him.
“Well, at least they are back to normal.” Toneri deadpans, I facepalm, and Hotaru - the apparent shit-stirrer of the family - giggles. “How are you feeling, Tiger?”
(By Amaterasu, even her laugh sounds beautiful.)
“I’m doing okay - but I’ll be even better after lunch!” She smiles from behind her hand, and Toneri smiles back, small and relieved-
THWAP
“WHICH ONE OF YOU THREW THAT!?” Toneri yells, whirling around viciously, I settle down next to Hotaru as she opens the leather curtain to show Hound curled up on Uchiha land, laughing his ass off, as Tobi scrambles to try and say he was aiming for his boyfriend.
“How long did it take before the three of them were getting along?” Hotaru asks, sounding wildly amused, and I start bringing things down from the ‘safe’ cupboards for tea.
“I’m pretty sure that Hound and Tobi were living together in the capital, and there are days where I wonder whether they’re gonna kill Toneri in public or wait until there’s marginally fewer witnesses.” I sigh, filling up the teapot as someone gets thwacked…hard.
“HA! Sounds like them, alright!” Hotaru gives me one of her closed-mouth smiles, “Toneri is finally making friends.”
“You make it sound like he’s never had a friend before.” Hotaru looks over at me, eyebrow raised slightly, still smiling as Tobi gets tossed into the river with a shriek, and Hound starts running away. “No-”
“His entire clan wiped itself out due to infighting and civil war.” She states quietly, turning back to watch Hound get chased down ruthlessly. “His father died when he was young, and he’s never mentioned his mother, but…”
“He said his entire clan ripped their eyes out when they were born! How can anyone be expected to live through childbirth when the doctor’s blind?!” I snark, setting the pot down on the stove, and she snickers.
(This crush is getting unbearable-)
“I don’t know, personally, but Toneri has been able to dig arrowheads and snapped kunai out of me with startling efficiency for someone with their eyes closed ninety percent of the time.” I settle down next to her and begin to watch the one vs two duel that is occurring out front. “Who do you think is gonna win? Toneri or the surviving members of Team Minato?”
“Depends on how high ‘Team Minato’s pain tolerance is, I suppose.” I hum quietly, “Toneri has one hell of a right jab - you're doing, I’m guessing?”
“Still sore?” She smirks-
(Oh my Fire, that’s a fang! That’s adorable!)
“Careful, I’ll ask you to spar.” I mutter, face burning, she lets out the cutest snort I’ve ever heard, bowing forward slightly as she does so. “What? What’d I say?”
“You make it sound like a date!” Hotaru smiles briefly-
(Oh. Oh, those are the cutest set of wolf fangs I’ve ever seen!)
“Why so surprised? It wouldn’t be a date, there’s no way you’d date me, but surely a lot of guys back home would ask you out?” I tilt my head slightly, and she blushes, pink as strawberries, and sweeter than the mochi she makes out of them.
(Fuck. My heart’s gonna explode.)
“They, uh, well,” She wilts a little, “I have one too many ties to war criminals, I think…”
I might’ve been fooled - if she hadn’t touched her mouth nervously after saying it.
“They’re missing out,” I mutter, but get up as the kettle starts to make the strange whistling sound that all the wooden things make.
Hotaru’s POV
(Did he just hit on me!? What the hell do I respond to that with?!)
I stare at Madara’s back as he makes us tea, and then he checks the rice.
Twin splashes sound from the river, and both Obito and Kakashi are floundering, trying to breathe and swim-
“Did I miss anything?” Toneri asks calmly, settling down on my other side, he places his hand over my wrist easily-
They. Are. So. Stupid.
I raise an eyebrow and look out at Obito and Kakashi as they drag themselves onto my little island. I smile before I can help it as Obito whines about having to taste the river, and Kakashi grips about how at least he can still use his jaw.
Not. Them.
I raise my eyebrow higher.
Both. Clans. Think. We. Are. Dating.
I look at Toneri in surprise-
“They think you’re straight!?” I laugh a little as I say it, Toneri stops using Morse Code against my wrist as Madara pauses while setting the tea tray down on the table. “How the hell did you manage that!?”
“No idea. Part of why I’m communicating silently.” Toneri mutters,
“What does straight mean?” Madara questions nervously,
“It means you like the opposite gender.” It takes a moment, but then Madara smacks Toneri upside the head. “And that was for…?”
“Do you know how bad Ibiko has been since he turned up!? I’ll throw you at him, myself, goddammit!” Madara barks, Toneri places his face down on the table and I laugh loudly at both of them. “Stop starting arguments!”
“Sure thing, Mom!” I laugh, but slap Toneri on the back warmly, “Hey, as long as it doesn’t involve the thing we talked about after you attempted to copy your sister clan’s moves.”
“In my defense, you still haven’t explained what the hell a ‘Center’ is.” Toneri grumbles into the table, Madara pauses as he sets a cup in front of the moping pile of hair. “I didn’t know hitting that scarred over tenkentsu point would cause you to pass out, let alone for three days!”
“Yeah, well,” I sigh as I take my hand off his back and grab my cup. “I finally got to meet her, at least.”
“Bisexual disaster, much?” Toneri grips, raising his head and grabbing his cup,
“Itadakimasu.” We both tell Madara, bowing our heads towards him-
“Ack!Hot!” Toneri yelps, almost dropping his cup, “Ow, my tongue.”
I snicker quietly as I lower my cup.
“A really fun side effect of learning the Fireball Jutsu so early,” Obito mutters, his shoes squelching against my hardwood floors. “Is that her throat is so used to heat, she can drink boiling liquids as some people have implied you just made me drink river water.”
“You know damn well where I keep my towels, Obito.” I growl, eyeing the footprints with open disdain.
“Yes, Fugaku Junior.” He snickers, but dodges the knife and begins to slip and slide his way over to the closet. “Hound, dude, c’mon, why are you taking so long?”
“I value my life, Tobi,” Kakashi grumbles from outside the door, I look up with a raised eyebrow…
(Okay, so, dead people are alive again?)
I place a hand over Toneri’s arm as he moves to get up.
“Ankiki, I sincerely hope you are not adding another treason charge to your criminal record right now.” I deadpan, then sip more tea as the entire room goes still. “Why don’t you let Shisui make the bad decisions for a little while? Madara just made some lovely tea.”
Muffled grumbles, then the genjutsu drops, and the entire Akatsuki - minus Kakuzu? Why is he missing, I don’t like that - stands in front of my door, with the added bonus of Shisui standing next to Itachi as my older brother brandishes a kunai under Kakashi’s chin.
“The two of you are definitely related.” Kisame muses, “Look at how calm she is, surrounded by war criminals.”
“In some countries, I am a war criminal, Hoshigaki-san.” I state evenly, “In others, I am a diplomat of the highest regard… Any of you feel like betting which title has more training behind it?”