Hatred
It was wrong. Something was wrong and immediately after Sukea had flickered he clutched his stomach because oh, it did not like that at all. Quickly, he turned his head before he could completely hurl everything and heaved. Coughing, he looked at the pile of barely-digested rice a bit mournfully.
On instinct, he reached for his mask to pull it back up only to remember that he didn’t have it, and sighed. Instead, he ran his tongue over his teeth and tried to wash out the after taste with his spit.
Well, that confirmed his theory. Mushy things it was. Sukea should have eaten something easier on his stomach instead of going straight to the rice; it would have avoided an entirely unpleasant experience.
Instead of focusing on how he would have eat entirely hospital-mush, Sukea went out to go and find his original objective. Mini-Kakashi. Kakashi Jr. Fun-sized Kakashi.
Sukea sighed. His Mini-Me was likely… not the happiest with him, and Sukea didn’t really want to deal with a bratty Kakashi.
He sighed again, somehow even more morose than before. Sukea may not want to deal with him, but as his older self and temporary guardian, Sukea supposed he had a duty to make sure he didn’t somehow stab himself in the eye or something.
Slowly, he took a step from where he had been standing, and then the vertigo hit. Sukea clutched his head as the world spun, and his stomach twisted again in warning. He stood there for a good minute before he finally felt confident enough to try to take another step.
Sukea rubbed between his eyes, wondering how his health was simple this bad. This body may not be his but he liked to think that even at his worse he never got this unhealthy. Even now, he felt as if his ribs were poking through his clothes; stark and noticeable. Even ignoring that, at every moment, one scar or another ached something fierce. His leg, the one he had broken, still ached with every movement.
No, really, it was a wonder that this body didn’t pass on far before he ever got his hands on it. Doing ANBU for seven years, something that had nearly killed him numerous times when he wasn’t skin-and-bones, by all rights should have wiped him out.
Sukea got the vague sense that something else was going on, but he decided to push that away for later. After all, he had a child to find.
He focused, turning his thoughts inward and trying to find Kakashi’s chakra. Sukea would try to find him by scenting him out, but he didn’t really want to try that yet without a mask. His sense of smell could be overwhelming even with the mask, and he didn’t really want to know what the putrid smell of vomit so near by would do to this body (not to mention how even when he was away from the house, the entire area permeated with the scents of Minato and Kushina. He didn’t need that. He was already barely holding himself together as is.)
There- Not very far, in a secluded training ground barely a five minute run from Minato and Kushina’s house, was the bright white light of mini-Kakashi’s chakra. It seemed to be mostly calm, save for the minor spikes that meant he was practicing a jutsu.
So, probably wouldn’t stab himself in the eye.
Sukea grimaced. Did he really need to go get the kid? Kakashi already hated him, and interrupting a training session? Sukea had forgotten most of how he was back then, but he knew that doing that would make his mini-me hate him even more than he already did.
But-
What would Minato think if he found out that Sukea just walked away when Kakashi was so nearby?
“Argh.” Sukea groaned. He should at least make sure that the kid didn’t hate him too much. Maybe supervise the training a tad.
With one last sigh, Sukea leapt into the trees. The most direct route from here to there didn’t have any paths, but that was fine.He grew up in Konoha; the trees were his playground since the moment he learned how to walk. Hopping from tree to tree may even be less taxing than running on the ground. It would only be about a five minute run, but with how his body was acting up, he dreaded it.
The trees blurred by with the occasional building showing up and passing by just as quickly. It was calming, Sukea thought. At least some things stay the same no matter where or when you are.
Maybe after he had checked up on Kakashi he could go and grab some applesauce or something. Sukea may not feel hungry, but he knew he needed something to eat. He thinks… the last thing he had to eat was dinner, but he threw all that up. Before that though, it was the mush at the hospital they gave him before they let him go. That was a while ago.
Kakashi’s chakra signature got closer and closer with every hop, and Sukea figured that he was getting pretty close. With a sort of morbid curiosity, he wondered if their signatures were the same. Of course, he didn’t know how his felt besides his minor experience with his counterpart’s, but he would bet they were pretty similar.
Rather suddenly, the trees cut off onto a line, and Sukea stopped. This was the training ground, all right. In the middle of the clearing sat his younger self, with a pile of kunai at his feet. He seemed to be throwing them at a target near the end of it. He was throwing them with more force than was strictly necessary, and if Sukea didn’t know better, he would bet he could hear angry muttering as well.
Oh, he’s mad mad.
With a final jump, Sukea landed on the edge of the clearing. He didn’t make any noise when he landed, something instinctual, so it took a few moments for Kakashi to notice him.
Kakashi picked up another kunai before reeling back to make what would have been a particularly angry throw, before he froze. Ah. It seemed that he had spotted Sukea.
His eyes narrowed and he scoffed, kunai still in hand, before he threw it towards the target again. Sukea would bet money that Kakashi was imagining his face in place of the target.
Internally, Sukea grimaced, but externally he put up a hand and waved cheerfully. “Hey, mini-me!” He greeted.
The thunk of kunai didn’t stop, and Kakashi seemed determined to ignore him. That was fine by Sukea; he didn’t really want to talk, either.
They sat in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes, with Sukea standing on the edge of the training ground while his counterpart threw kunai. He really wanted to leave, he did. But he also didn’t want to confront any of… anything. He didn’t want to confront how he was in the past. He didn’t want to confront how the people who he loved were still alive (oh God Rin.Obito. They’re still alive. Still alive and breathing and untainted by death-).
Watching his younger self like this, it was almost like he was observing an old memory. The quite thumps of kunai hitting wood were intimately familiar, almost comforting in how he knew he had done this very thing so many times. The only thing that ruined the peaceful scene was how his younger self kept on glancing towards him with contempt. But besides that, he could almost pretend it was all a dream.
And really, what better did he have to do?
(No, no he had so much better he could be doing- he could be trying to make sure that his counterpart actually cared about his teammates, he could be trying to make them stronger; strong enough to survive, and here he was, wallowing in self-pity-
There was so much he could be doing, and yet here he was. Wasting away this second chance that had been given to him. God, he was such a failure, wasn’t he?)
The repetitive thunk of kunai continued on, and a bird twittered in the distance. A happy scene; one that he had no right to intrude on. And really.
What better did he have to do.
Sukea was so lost in his own thoughts that he barely registered when Kakashi stopped his training to turn around and look at him. He could see the barest outlines of a frown behind his mask, and there was a kunai hanging loosely from his hands.
Suddenly, Kakashi spoke up. “Why are you looking at me like that?” His voice was accusatory, but almost confused. Different enough from the background that it drew him from his half-remembered dream.
“Hm? Like what?” Sukea hummed distractedly.
His counterpart looked at him, almost through him. “Like you- know me. You don’t.” He said, the last part tacked on almost as an afterthought.
Suddenly, all semblance of a dream fled from his mind, and something colder took hold.
Ah. Right. He wasn’t simply an observer- they saw him too.
Sukea waved it off, “Mah, no reason.” And before he could think better of it, the words bubbled out from his throat. “You just reminded me of something, thats all.”
Somehow, his younger self’s body language became even more closed off, and his eyes narrowed. The slight frown that was visible under his mask deepened into a scowl.
Sharply, he turned back around and threw the kunai in his hand with so much ferocity that Sukea was scared that the target might crack.
Sukea stared, blank smile still on his face. This had happened a few times, too. When he was so angry but the only acceptable way to let out that anger was to train. Train and train and train and train even more.
He shook his head; no, he should go. He had already checked up on the kid, and made him even more mad at him.
Sukea (had so much) didn’t have much to do, but he supposed he should try to get something to stay in his stomach.
He turned out his feet, before he realized he should probably say something before he left.
“Try to be be back before sundown.” Sukea said, and with a wave, he disappeared.