my hand was the one you reached for

You drew up some good faith treaties/ I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone. 

She was standing in his way. Sasuke stood in front of Sakura. His hands in his pockets, hers in front of her heart. “It’s the middle of the night. What are you doing hanging around here for?”

“This is the only road out of the village.”

He passes around her. “You should go to bed,” he chides, a hint of mocking is in his tone. 

The sound of his footsteps fall and so do her tears. 

“Why Sasuke? Why don’t you ever tell me anything?” The hurt in her voice spills out. “Why is it always silence with you? You never shared a single thing-“

Stopping, his bitter voice calls out, “why should I tell you anything? Just keep your nose out of my business. It’s none of your concern.” 

Sakura looks down, the tears don’t stop. The hurt in her chest is too much. 

“I know you hate me. Even in the beginning, you couldn’t stand me,” she looks up to his back, a sad smile on her face as she reminisces, “remember? Back when we made genin and we were assigned to our three man squad. We were alone together for the first time. Right here at this very spot. You got so mad at me that day.” 

Sakura’s sad smile is still on her face as the memory overcomes her, until she hears his voice then it falls. 

“I don’t remember that.” He lies, he did remember. He just couldn't admit that to her.

“Yeah sure, I mean it was so long ago right?" Why is she always taking his side for what? He thinks. 

“But still, that’s the day when it all began, it was the start of you and me. And Naruto and Kakashi sensei.”

The memories flood Sasuke. Training, their missions, his lonely days weren't so lonely anymore. They were loud and fun. Bonds he thought couldn't be created after the massacre commenced, with a new chosen family.

“The four of us started going on missions. It was rough back then. Everyday was such a challenge. But more than anything…It was so much fun. I know about your clan Sasuke. I do. But seeking revenge, that won’t bring anyone happiness, no one at all. Not you, and not me.”

Sasuke was trying hard to stay straight-faced, but her confessions had brought all his emotions to the top. His mission topped it and it was so clear to him that it's what he needed to follow. No distractions. It's what needed to be done. 

“I knew it.” He tells himself. “I’m not the same as you,” his voice softens, but then stiffens, “I’m traveling a path the rest of you can’t follow. I know that the four of us have worked together. And for a while I thought I could take that road instead, but in the end I’ve decided on revenge. That’s always been my reason for living. I’ll never be like you and Naruto.”

“Don’t do this Sasuke! You don’t have to be alone. You told me that day how painful a thing solitude can be. I understand that pain now. I have a family and friends. But if you were gone Sasuke, it would be the same thing for me, as for being alone.”

Sakura’s confession was true, she loves him so much, first love is the deepest love. The one that awakens all emotions, like living for the first time. 

Team 7 flashes in Sasuke’s mind.

“This is a new beginning. Each of us has a new path lying before us.”

“Sasuke!” Sakura steps forward. “I’m so in love with you, I can’t even stand it. If you would only be with me, I promise, I’d never let you regret it. Everyday would be a joy. I could give you happiness, I’ll do anything for you Sasuke! So please, I’m begging you don’t walk away. I’ll even help you get your revenge. I’ll do whatever it takes to make it happen. I swear. Stay here, with me. If you can’t, take me with you Sasuke!” Sobbing, she waits for his response. All she can do is wait, see what he can give her. 

“You haven’t changed. You’re still annoying.” Sasuke finally turns, scoffing at Sakura. She stands frozen. Sakura couldn't accomplish anything. She was the same annoying girl in his mind. 

Turning back Sasuke starts walking toward the exit, until Sakura runs forward, “Don’t leave me!” Her pleas ring in the air. 

She stops. In an act of desperation she says, “if you go, I’ll scream!” 

As quick as ever, he’s behind her. 

“Sakura.” Her name hangs from his voice like unwanted closure. “Thank you for everything.” 

His acknowledgment gives her the answer she doesn’t want. Deep down she hopes it’s different, until he strikes her. Her bargain wasn’t enough for him to stay. 

She couldn’t come with him, she didn’t have a vengeful bone in her body. He had to do this all alone, no one from Kohona could stop him. He doesn’t even turn around as he exits Kohona. He can’t. This is his path and his only. 

My knuckles were bruised like violets /Sucker punching walls, cursed you as I sleep-talked /Spineless in my tomb of silence / Tore your banners down, took the battle underground/ And maybe it was ego swinging

Long were the days Sakura trained under Lady Tsunade. Her pleas to be trained under her were the only pleas that were heard. She promised herself the bruises, the exhaustion, the tests were all to be nothing compared to how she felt when Sasuke left her, when he left his home. 

The bruises never lasted long, her mentor healing her broken bones. If only she could mend her broken heart. 

Sometimes she’d let her anger get the best of her, letting it all go into her fighting lessons as she was getting better. Physically she was weaker than the boys on her team. Each day she'd fight to the brink, her muscles aching but growing to support herself. The physical pain felt better than the pain she felt alone at night. Nights when the moon shone through her window as she cried over her old familiar relic of her past life. Her small fingers gripped the frame, it was her prized possession, the motivation. Her carrot on a stick to bring Sasuke back. 

A part of her knew it'd be useless, no one could bring Sasuke back. But the hope, the little light inside her thought, just maybe, she could.

Was it just weakness that held her back? She choked on the air she was breathing. She faced the ceiling, begging for answers. Spineless little girl who couldn't protect her teammates or hold her own in battle. 

"You're annoying."

Those words haunt her, buried themselves in her bones and in the way she moves. Sakura desperately wished she could be anything but that. As the days turned to weeks to months to even years, she was slowly walking away from her younger self. There was a point to be made and Sakura was going to be the one to prove it.

It turned into something bigger/ Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed 

She heard it before she saw it. The sound of a thousand birds, the bright blue light at the hand of Sasuke. Aiming right at her, shock and fear filled her body as he was getting closer. Sasuke wasn't Sasuke. Those eyes were the eyes of someone entirely else, not her former comrade. Staring into those eyes she fought to find the him, he had to be there right?

Not moving, she was seconds away from being hit. A flash of silver hair came in between them, pushing the Chidori down. 

His instinct was on fire, his humanity for his old team was gone. They were the enemy. In the way of his goals, this was war. These people were in the way. They didn’t even realize what Itachi sacrificed for Kohona and therefore didn’t deserve any mercy.

***

Sakura couldn’t let the burden fall onto her sensei. She was the one who loved him so, she should be the one to do it. Her prayer to those who she loved was leading to so much hurt. Hurt to Sasuke who wasn’t Sasuke anymore. Hurt to those who stood by and didn't desert her. Kakashi and Naruto didn’t deserve to live in agony. 

In a quick instant he felt betrayal from someone he didn't think would hurt him, turning around he grabbed the poisoned kunai from her hand and the other on her throat. Quickly he was going to reverse the kunai meant for him to Sakura. 

She hesitated which is why he was so quick, and it didn't go unnoticed by him, nor did the tears that he heard. Her sniffles. The movement of his hand had to be quick, this couldn't take more than second. His head falls, his eyesight low, he had to slice straight across. The wind blowing past him, made him look up. Of course, he could only guess who it would be. 

He had allowed himself to breathe in the childhood haze of naïveté and bliss, only to be attacked by his former comrades who didn’t understand the pain of the Uchiha clan. The ultimate sacrifice was unnoticed by the everyone, and Sasuke hated them. Kill or be killed. He made the obvious choice, trust was shattered like forgotten glass. 

Your finger on my hair pin triggers/ Soldier down on that icy ground/ Looked up at me with honor and truth/ Broken and blue, so I called off the troops/ That was the night I nearly lost you/ I really thought I lost you

“Sasuke!” Sakura yells, her voice snapping his gaze to the portal.

He begins running toward Sakura and Obito.

Oh no.

Sakura is slipping. She grips Obito’s shoulders, hoping it gives her the strength to carry on.

Fear runs up her spine as her chakra was dwindling and so was the portal.

Sakura’s eyes focused on Sasuke’s running figure but it was too much. As it closed and so did her eyes. She was exhausted. She wasn’t strong enough. 

No…

The 100 sealing mark faded away and so did her heart. He’s gone in another dimension. She couldn’t bring him back, just like the first time. The sweat on her face, the exhaustion, him being gone, it was too much. Failure was a killer. And this felt like the fatal blow.

Her eyes fluttered closed and she fell back. Her arm was burning, weariness was in her blood. She braced for the ground impact. Sakura felt a spark when she felt a hand around her arm. Her body caught by muscle.

Sakura’s eyes opened, looking up she was meet by red and purple.

How?

I really thought I lost you.

Sasuke held Sakura close to him, in a moment of emotional liability he ignored everything. Her green eyes never held any lies in them. Always honest to a fault were her feelings for him. He let himself have it for a moment. Loneliness since he left Kohona had plagued his blue heart.

I nearly lost you…

And maybe it's the past that's talkin'/ Screamin' from the crypt/ Tellin' me to punish you for things you never did /So I justified it

Sakura closes her fist tightly, then opens it. All the courage in her heart, she needs to vocalize it. With a shaky breath Sakura calls out to Sasuke. "I know-I know in my heart, that there's nothing I can do. Even though I love you! Even though I care so much about you Sasuke. I can’t get close to you or exchange blows with you. I can only whine, beg, and cry, yet again. It’s so pitiful isn’t it? But please Sasuke! Even if there’s a little corner of your heart that still thinks about me, don’t leave again. Please! If we just stick together I know it can be like old times again. Someday-”

Even after all these years, the war, and growing up she was the same Sakura. The one who loved in him in a way he couldn't quite understand. A love he realized he didn't deserve. He'd burn the world down and there she was telling him she still loved him. Who was he to still be in her heart? Unadulterated memories of her flashed before him. There was one memory that made him take action. 

With a shaky step, he turns around, a sorrowful smile on his lips. "You really are still incredibly annoying." 

Then in a purple flash, Sakura staggers to the ground. Her eyes trying not to close, fail as her body drops next to Kakashi. 

"You didn't need to put Sakura under genjutsu!" Naruto argues.

"If I didn't," Sasuke howls, hoping his idiot rival would remember, "then she would have just chased after us and gotten in the way." 

Kakashi is near Sakura, his hand on her shoulder. 

“Sakura just wanted to help you! All this time!” Kakashi scolds Sasuke. Why couldn’t he just see her? Acknowledge her unwavering support?

“If you’re suggesting that I enjoy a romance, too bad I have no reason to love her or to be loved by her.” He lies from his teeth. It was a failed reality that he deserved. Sasuke caused Sakura too much pain. She was second to his goals. She didn’t deserve that, not after she gave her heart to him so willingly time after time. 

”The only time you need a reason like that is when you want to hate someone. Don’t you understand?! Sakura isn’t even trying to make you hers. She only wants to save you! She almost died by your hands even now. She suffers from loving you!”

We can plant a memory garden/ Say a solemn prayer, place a poppy in my hair/ There's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair/ And we will never go back

"Sakura, I, listen-" He looks up at her, everything looks in a different light to him after battling Naurto. He renounced the revenge his heart so badly wanted. Sasuke’s heart is anew. 

Emotionless she interrupts, "just stay quiet. I need to stay focused."

Sasuke's stoic face falls. She never had spoken to him like this. He didn't like it, he felt his stomach twist. No, no this couldn't happen. Where was the Sakura he knew a day ago? He needed her back. Sasuke needed to make amends with the one person who blindly waited for him. He finally saw her.

"I'm sorry." 

"Sorry for what?" 

"For everything." His voice is filled with true atonement. 

"You got that right," she breaks, her voice quivering, shaky breathes as tears fall to her lap. "Damn it. It's about time, you idiot." She sniffles as she continues to heal Sasuke and Naruto. It was over, the Great War. They had survived. 

**

"Maybe next time. Thank you, Sakura."