Chapter 8
Carla woke to the sound of someone pottering about, she glanced over at her phone to check the time and realised she was still on the phone to Lisa.
Lisa must have heard Carla turning in her bedsheets as she’d reached for her phone. “Morning you” Lisa spoke softly through the phone.
“Morning yourself” Carla replied back, smiling widely at the sound of Lisa’s voice.
“I didn’t want to hang up when I woke up, I didn’t want you to worry.” Lisa wanted to reassure Carla that she’d appreciated her call last night and even more so that she’d stayed on the line with her until she fell asleep. “And I realised it’d be nice to hear your voice in the morning too, so I waited until you stirred” Lisa’s smile was beaming and Carla swore she could feel Lisa’s happiness through the tone of her voice.
“You need to stop being so sweet Lisa Swain” Carla muttered playfully through the phone. “How are you feeling?” Carla asked gently, not wanting to touch too much on their conversation last night but also not wanting to ignore Lisa’s openness and complete vulnerability she had shown her last night.
Lisa hesitant, but brave softly replied “like I could still use that cuddle.”
“Text me your address, please. I’d like to come to you and give you this well needed cuddle” Carla said, gently. Aware that Lisa was obviously still feeling fragile today.
Carla’s phone pinged as Lisa sent through her address, and she was out the door within the hour. They’d stayed on the phone together, talking away while Carla was trying to be as quiet as possible with her movements, she wanted to surprise Lisa even though the other woman knew she was coming.
“How long do you think you’ll be?” Lisa asked nervously. She hadn’t meant to sound so needy, but she was feeling incredibly fragile.
Carla smiled at the need in Lisa’s voice. It didn’t scare her off in the slightest. Carla even felt a little weak at the knees with the fact that Lisa needed her, it felt a change for her to be needed.
“Mm, I won’t be long” Carla teased and then at the same time as knocking on Lisa’s front door, she hung up the phone.
Lisa opened the door, hoping it was Carla as she was scowling.
“You hung up on me.” Lisa pouted.
“You love it” Carla winked at her. Letting herself in to Lisa’s as Lisa stepped aside, just about to invite her in.
Admittedly, that was one of the things Lisa liked about Carla, that she was forward with some things.
“Would you like a drink?” Lisa asked.
“I’ll have whatever you’re having, please” Carla smiled at her.
Lisa came back in carrying two cups of tea, and noticed Carla was looking at her pictures. Lisa didn’t have many, as most of her things were back home up North but she’d brought her most sentimental ones. Carla seemed to smile as she looked among them, not noticing Lisa watching her.
Lisa placed the two cups of tea on the coffee table and came up behind Carla wrapping her arms around her waist, resting her chin on her shoulder.
“Can I have that cuddle now?” Lisa whispered in her ear. She felt like she sounded needy again, but Carla didn’t say anything the first time, so she didn’t worry too much about it.
“Mmm…” Carla pondered. She wanted to tease Lisa a little bit, but not too much. She heard the need in her voice.
“Please…” Lisa said weakly into Carla’s ear. Wrapping her arms around Carla that little bit tighter.
Carla’s heart sank at the tone of Lisa’s voice then and quickly spun round to face her. Carla was aware that Lisa was still feeling fragile today, but she felt awful for teasing her, even though Carla was never going to deprive Lisa of her cuddle.
“Come here” Carla said softly, taking Lisa by the hand.
Carla sat on the sofa in the corner, swung her legs up and then leant back, but made a space for Lisa to come curl up alongside her between her and the back of the sofa. Still holding Lisa’s hand, she patted the space next to her.
Tears started to form in Lisa’s eyes. Her heart was filled with pure joy but she was still reeling from all the built up emotion. She gently climbed over Carla’s legs, and sat beside her. Carla gently rubbed her back, and ushered her to lay into her, Lisa obliged, resting her head on Carla’s chest as Carla wrapped her arms around her, tightly.
Lisa adjusted herself slightly, nestling her head into Carla’s neck, her lips almost brushing the skin, so close that Carla could feel Lisa’s warmth in her breath. Lisa wrapped her arm around Carla’s waist, stroking gently with her thumb. Carla felt goosebumps with the other woman’s physical affection. Lisa felt Carla hold her tighter, and relished in the safety of the other woman’s arms.
“Comfy?” Carla finally asked.
“Very” Lisa replied.
There was still a quiver in her voice.
“Let it out if you need to. I’m not going anywhere.” Carla tried.
“I’m okay” Lisa mumbled.
“You don’t have to be strong for me” Carla whispered softly. Carla squeezed her a little tighter, then gently traced absent circles down her arm and to her ribs. Lisa wriggled and let out a light, soft laugh.
“Stop it” Lisa said playfully. Grabbing Carla’s hand and pushing it away.
Carla, suddenly realising what she’d done, teased Lisa a little bit more until Lisa grabbed her hand this time, not letting go.
“Are you ticklish, detective?” Carla asked, her voice husk.
“Don’t even think about it” Lisa warned, playfully of course. She propped herself up on her arm next to Carla so she could try giving her best, stern, playful look. But her eyes were dark and she was biting her bottom lip.
“I hope you don’t interrogate offenders with that face and tone, detective. I’d admit to anything if you look at me and speak to me in that way again.” Carla teased.
Not for the first time, Lisa felt butterflies in her stomach and somewhere south of that area. She knew she liked Carla. She knew she liked Carla a lot. Her mind and her heart was certainly somewhat crazy over this woman, which she’d managed to keep relatively at bay (for now), so as to not scare Carla off, but she’d built such high walls around any sexual feelings, that she’d struggled to let her own body feel too much…until now.
Lisa hoped that this was what Carla meant when she’d said to Lisa previously that she makes her feel things…and Lisa knew she was certainly game to carry on flirting like this, but Lisa was still insistent on taking Carla on their first date, before their first kiss, so she knew she’d have to put a gentle stop to the current flirting, or they’d end up at fourth base just from what was supposed to be an innocent cuddle on the back of a very emotional night yesterday.
So as much as Lisa was feeling turned on, and as much as she desperately wanted to find out if Carla was equally as ticklish, she quashed these thoughts and settled down back on Carla’s chest, nuzzling into her neck, wrapping her arm around Carla’s waist.
Carla smiled once again at the physical affection that was pouring out the woman laid in her arms. “You really wanted this cuddle didn’t you” Carla whispered softly.
“You don’t even know the half of it. I can’t explain how much I had to hold back at the thought of you appearing on my doorstep at 3am just because I wanted a cuddle.” Lisa admitted.
“You know I’d have been here, right?” Carla wanted Lisa to know that she’d meant every word.
“Oh I know” Lisa replied “that’s why I’m quite pleased I’d never shown you where I lived before now.”
“So what happens now I know where you’re living, and you need a cuddle in the middle of the night?” Carla’s eyebrow raised, a smile tugging at her lips.
Lisa looked up at Carla, cheeks profusely blushing crimson now. “There’s nothing I’m going to be able to do to stop you now is there?” Lisa asked, a little shy from learning how needy she was feeling at times with Carla.
“No” Carla softly replied. “Hypothetically if I’d tracked you down last night, what would you have done with me arriving at your door in the middle of the night?” Carla teased.
This thought had already raced through Lisa’s mind. Half her thoughts were laced with such a desire that she thought she might combust from just the thought of Carla Connor in her bed and the other half of her thoughts laced with such an emotional need, that once she was cuddled into Carla, she felt she’d never want to leave that safe space ever again.
“I’m a copper, Carla. There is no hypothetically with me” Lisa was teasing her now. She’d had enough of her own sexually needy thoughts she’d had to push down in order to slow this entire….friendship…more-than-friendship thing down, it was about time Carla suffered a little bit too, so she let the teasing flow.
Carla blushed. As much as she’d never met DS Swain in action. The thought of that side of Lisa had made her go weak at the knees several times and though Carla never really liked to relinquish control, she knew that she’d certainly make an exception for DS Swain.
Carla cleared her throat, trying to look casual but very aware from the heat in her cheeks what colour they were reaching. “Humour me, Lisa.” Carla asked softly as she brought the other woman back into her arms.
“I’d of hoped you offered something like what we’re doing now. Given the time of night it was, I really wanted that cuddle and I’d of really liked falling asleep in your arms. So, if I could have tempted you to bed…with nothing but a cuddle on the cards, that was just what I needed but the sofa would have been equally as…satisfying.” Lisa laughed so hard, not being able to think of a better word, trying desperately not to turn this into anything muckier than it already sounded!
Carla laughed with her but Lisa felt a shift in Carla beneath her.
“Are you okay?” Lisa asked, her voice laced with concern.
“Yeah…I’m alright. It’s just…” Carla took a moment to gather her thoughts, and Lisa gave her the space to get out what she needed.
“I feel like I’ve let you down. I feel like you reached out to me, needed me and I wasn’t there. But I don’t want to disappoint you.” Carla’s voice was trembling slightly.
“Hey” Lisa propped herself up again beside Carla. “You could never disappoint me.” Lisa sat up properly, her legs tucked underneath her as she pulled Carla up too, and wrapped herself around her. Carla wrapped her arms around the blonde woman’s waist as she felt the other woman pull her into a cuddle.
They sat like that for a while, in companionable silence. Lisa started to release Carla from her embrace, but Carla pulled her in tighter. “Don’t let go” she whispered.
Lisa laughed, flattered by the other woman’s affection. “You’re making it very hard not to want to kiss you right now, Carla Connor” Lisa whispered into the other woman’s ear.
“That could be arranged.” Carla dared, her breath hot on the other woman’s neck.
Lisa released her grasp properly from the other woman this time and swatted her with a cushion.
“Hey” Carla exclaimed, playfully. Removing the cushion from the other woman’s hands as they both fell into a fit of laughter. As they sat there, gazing into each other, Carla chanced something she’d been wanting to ask Lisa since she refused her a kiss.
“Can I ask what makes it important to you that you take me on a first date, you know, before anything…” Carla trailed off, not wanting to say anything further, but being delicately suggestive enough that Lisa will know what she’s talking about. They were both adults, they both knew exactly what they wanted but the air was still filled with a lot of things unsaid, a lot of unspoken emotion.
Lisa sighed. Not in a bad way, and certainly not fed up, she was just nervous when it came to talking about her feelings, something she had lacked over the last six years, more than ever in her life since she lost Becky.
“Can I answer that question tomorrow?” Lisa asked tentatively. “I’m not…I’m-“
“Of course” Carla interrupted. “Look, Lisa. I know we said no question is off the cards, but I don’t want you to ever feel pressured to tell me anything you don’t want to”
Lisa smiled at the other woman, she was beginning to wonder how she ever deserved to meet someone so kind and so beautiful all at once.
Lisa got up then, Carla watched her as she moved across the room.
Reaching for her bag, Lisa pulled out a red envelope and handed it to Carla. Carla looked puzzled for a moment, then Lisa smiled at her, again.
“Open that tomorrow, when you get up in the morning. I’ve got some things planned for you…for us…if you’ll let me. I think it’s time I took you on a date.”