Chapter 6
Full bellies and onto the second bottle of wine, both women got comfier as they moved over to the sofa, eager to get to know the other one better.
“Go on then, hit me with your first question” Carla said, as she leant back on the sofa with her legs tucked in. Positioning herself to face Lisa, she rested her left arm on the back of the sofa.
“I thought this was your game, your rules?” Lisa shot her a playful look.
“It is, and my rules are you go first. I can hardly deny you that after all you have done for me. Especially after today.” Carla’s voice was soft and sincere. “No question is off the cards.”
Lisa looked at Carla as she debated whether to start serious, or fun. She too, was sat facing Carla, legs tucked underneath. If they both stretched out their arms that were resting on the back of the sofa, their hands would meet the other’s bicep, so they were sat pretty close.
She really, really wanted to get to know the other woman, and didn’t want to waste the opportunity. “What’s the story with Roy and Ryan?” Lisa asked sensitively.
A wide smile spread across Carla’s face at the mention of both their names.
“Roy is so much like a father to me. His late wife Hayley, used to work for me in the factory I ran. Underworld. She passed away from terminal cancer quite some years ago now, but we became close during her diagnosis and even closer after her passing. We’ve certainly had our ups and downs over the years but we’ve more or less been a constant in each others lives.” Carla pauses and Lisa smiled, allowing her to continue.
“Ryan is my nephew, but is also the son of my best friend, Michelle, who now lives in Ireland. We became really close after I was there for him when he got caught up in an acid attack, trying to protect a woman from her stalker. The attack was intended for her, on her wedding day and Ryan stepped in the way.” Carla looked down, and then back up at Lisa when she felt her touch on her upper arm.
Gently squeezing Carla’s upper arm, then letting her hand rest there, Lisa thanked her for sharing all that she is with her. Offering her a warm smile.
Carla looked her in the eyes. “I don’t know what it is about you. I just feel so at ease so, if I overshare at any point, please feel free to let me know.” Carla blushed.
Lisa, gently squeezing Carla’s arm again before she reluctantly removed it and softly said “Hey, no question is off the cards so no answer is too much. If you’re daring enough to ask it, you have to be open enough to hear whatever is to come out.”
“I like that” Carla offered her a warm smile. “So, Lisa Swain. What brought you to Devon?”
Lisa’s breathing faltered, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath in, then out. Carla waited, patiently before resting her hand on the other woman’s arm, gently stroking her exposed skin with her thumb, just like Lisa had comforted her in the moments before.
Lisa opened her eyes again and Carla noticed tears had begun to form. Before Carla could say anything, Lisa spoke “I’m a widow.” She tried to relax her shoulders she’d realised she’d tensed. The comforting touch from Carla was helping, she hoped it wouldn’t stop. Not while she just got through this next few minutes.
“I was married. To a woman.” Lisa felt the need to clarify, not in any particular way - this wasn’t the time for that - she just knew how assumptions always were. “My wife…” she continued. “My wife was killed in the line of duty. I didn’t cope very well, looking back. I threw myself into work, neglected our daughter, didn’t grieve properly, didn’t help our daughter grieve properly. I just didn’t know how to stop. So when Betsy, my dau- our daughter went off to university, and I was left alone, I asked my superior officer for sabbatical, well eventually I asked. Time off, with no real end date as such, nothing discussed or set in stone as to when I’d return. I just needed space, you know? Space to breathe. So I came here and I always loved being creative but never had the time for it with my family and my incredibly demanding job, and I thought if I offer what I can to the locals, the cash will help me stay here as long as I want to, and that’s probably one of the first times since I lost Becky, my wife, that I thought I might actually be okay.”
Carla stayed silent for a moment, not once stopping the delicate movement of her hand now tracing her fingers up and down Lisa’s arm, cherishing the skin to skin intimate contact in Lisa’s most vulnerable moment. Carla knew what it felt like to lose someone in the most horrific way - her thoughts drifted to Liam - but she knew she’d have her time to share someday.
Finally, Carla brought herself back to the woman sat infront of her “I’m so sorry you had to go through all that Lisa.” Carla offered, her voice soft, almost like a whisper as her eyes found Lisa’s, and Lisa too found there were tears etched in Carla’s eyes.
“Don’t be.” Lisa smiled through her tears.
Carla gently raised both her arms out, inviting Lisa into a cuddle, but remaining where she sat so the woman next to her didn’t feel forced by the offer, and had the choice either way to accept or politely pass it up.
Lisa, of course, obliged. She remembered their embrace after she walked Carla home from the pub, and how safe she had felt in Carla’s arms. She really needed that right now.
Lisa moved forward slightly, allowing Carla’s arms to wrap around her. Lisa slid both her arms around Carla’s waist and rested her head on Carla’s chest, just below her chin. She closed her eyes as she felt Carla’s arms tighten around her.
Lisa, feeling a bit more composed and back to herself, loosens her arms around Carla’s waist and starts slowly shifting back to be able to face the woman next to her. “Who would you trust to help you bury a body? Lisa teased.
“Wh-are you okay?” Carla asked, confused by the question, her face laced with concern but also disappointment from their hug ending.
“That’s your question” Lisa throws back, a smile showing on her face. Lisa hadn’t noticed at first, but soon realised Carla’s hand had landed back on her arm, tracing familiar patterns with her fingers at her exposed skin.
Carla laughed nervously. “I feel like you could be undercover, digging for information.” Carla gave her a friendly jab in the ribs.
“Well unless you’ve buried a body before…Oh god…” Lisa went white, the colour draining out of her.
Carla burst out laughing. Lisa, realising she was being teased, swatted her with a cushion from the sofa.
“Hey!” Carla gently grabbed the cushion, throwing it behind her away from Lisa’s reach. “Michelle. My best friend who now lives in Ireland. That’s who I’d trust to bury a body. She’d help first. Ask questions later.”
Lisa smiled at Carla. Admiring the softness in Carla’s face and voice as she talked about her best friend. Carla clearly missed this connection very much and Lisa hoped even if she could just be a fraction of what Carla needed, she would be very happy.
“What are you smiling at?” Carla asked nervously.
“You” Lisa’s voice was laced with liquid confidence.
“You are drunk. Again.” Carla teased.
“Yeah…well I’m not finished with you yet. It’s your turn.” Lisa bit her lip.
The look on Lisa’s face lit that fire in Carla’s belly again. God, this woman. She thought to herself.
“What was your first impression of me?” Carla dared the question. She knew Lisa was drunk, and she knew she would absolutely get an honest answer. It was now or never, really.
Lisa didn’t know where to start. She knew exactly what her first impression was of Carla. “You made me laugh, the first time I ever spoke to you on the phone. You were cute, the way you were stumbling over your words.” Lisa’s cheeks were reddening and at this very moment, she couldn’t bring herself to make eye contact with Carla “when I came round that same day, and you opened the door, Carla…” Lisa braved the courage to let her eyes meet Carla’s now, although she knew Carla had been looking at her the whole time. She could feel the other woman’s eyes burning through her. Lisa took a deep breath “I don’t know what I expected before you opened the door, but I didn’t expect you. I thought you looked beautiful.” Lisa giggled, trying to settle her nerves but still fiercely fuelled by the alcohol.
Carla blushed. She knew it was a daring question but she didn’t anticipate the words that would fall so effortlessly from Lisa’s lips.
Lisa wanted to keep the momentum going, more so in hopes that she hadn’t made Carla feel uncomfortable, but also because she wasn’t sure she could cope with Carla’s response to what she’d just admitted.
“What is your favourite thing about me?” Lisa threw back.
Carla blushed, again. More fiercely this time. So much so that she knew Lisa could see the reddening of her cheeks by the look on her face.
“How thoughtful and incredibly sweet you are” Carla replied, softly. Daring to look into the other woman’s eyes as she spoke.
It was Lisa’s turn to blush, again, and there was no hiding it. With Carla locking eyes on her, she felt like there was no way to escape.
“I mean that. You brought me breakfast, you asked Roy for my favourite, you framed all the photos and pictures and tied them in a beautiful red ribbon, I saw you making small talk with Ryan the night I met you at the pub, and no doubt you’ve tried to get to know Roy…” Carla gave her a knowing look and Lisa’s cheeks became an even deeper red, almost crimson.
“Car-“ Lisa began to spoke but Carla gently cut her off.
“I haven’t finished yet.” Carla teased. “The things that you’ve done for me, the thought that’s gone in to every action…no one has ever done anything like what you’ve done before…what you’re doing. The time you’re taking to get to know me, the time you want to spend with me…”
Carla’s eyes were brimming with tears now. But her hand hadn’t once stopped contact with tracing gentle patters on Lisa’s exposed skin on her forearm.
Lisa moved closer to Carla, she didn’t need to be asked this time. She knew what she had to do. Unlike last time, Lisa brought Carla in for the hug this time, Carla gently resting her head on Lisa’s chest. Carla wrapped her arms around Lisa’s waist as Lisa held her tighter. Lisa felt Carla’s sobs come, and so she held her through it, gently stroking her hair as she held her close to her chest.
Carla could hear and feel Lisa’s heart beating faster. She could feel the tenderness in the other woman’s touch, the strong toned arms that were holding her as her sobs came out. For the first time in a long time Carla felt safe and she felt at home being held by the other woman, and she wondered for just a moment, if that could have been the feeling that she’d given Lisa too - when she’d held Lisa in her arms earlier in the evening. Secretly she hoped she had.
“What’s your biggest regret in life?” Carla mumbled into Lisa’s neck. She wasn’t sure what made her ask the question, perhaps over fear of everything she was feeling, and everything she had started to feel since meeting this incredible woman who still hadn’t let go of her.
“Wow, that one’s deep Carla.” Lisa stated.
“I can ask something else” Carla suggested but Lisa was quick to fire back.
“No question is off the cards right? My biggest regret is prioritising work over my wife.” Lisa’s voice trembled.
Carla removed her head from Lisa’s chest, and pulled Lisa in again this time. Lisa let Carla take the lead, never once letting go of each other.
“I’m so sorry for what you’ve had to go through Lisa” Carla whispered in her ear.
Lisa’s breath was warm on Carla’s neck. “I’m so glad I met you Carla Connor” Lisa looked up at Carla at smirked.
“That’s not allowed. You can’t use your detectiveness to find things out about me” Carla shot her a playful glare.
“I didn’t” Lisa protested her innocence. “It was written on the back of one of the photos I measured up for you. I noticed it when I was framing them” Lisa admitted.
“Mmm” Carla replied. As they both left their embrace, Carla swatted her with the cushion she’d safely kept out of Lisa’s reach.
Both women laughed. Lost for a moment in each other’s eyes.
“Can I take you out to dinner?” Lisa blurted out.
Very much aware of the silence that followed, Lisa quickly shot up “sorry, too much wine, too much truth drug, too much emotion….I should go.”
Carla watched her, with pure enjoyment. She’s cute when she’s flustered, embarrassed. She thought to herself.
Carla slowly got up, following Lisa to the door without her noticing and quickly placed her palm hard on the door slamming it shut as Lisa was on her way out. She was stood behind Lisa now, their bodies not quite touching but close enough to feel the heat emanating from each other.
Lisa’s hand remained on the handle, Carla’s flat against the solid wood door. “I thought you’d never ask” Carla replied.
Lisa’s hand released slowly on the door handle as she turned around. She knew Carla was stood right behind her, she’d felt her breath on her neck, but she hadn’t anticipated how close until she turned around. There was a darkness in Carla’s eyes, she could see Carla’s breathing hitch as she lifted her left hand to Lisa’s cheek, gently stroking her soft skin with her thumb whilst her hand still remained firmly on the door, not wanting to give Lisa any escape.
Carla leaned in, but Lisa pressed a finger to Carla’s lips. “Wait” she whispered. “Date first. Please.” Lisa looked up at her with pleading eyes. “You know what I said before…about prioritisation…well, I want to do this right Carla.”
“Ugh. You’re killing me” Carla laughed. Burying her head in the crook of Lisa’s neck and wrapping her arms around the other woman’s waist. Lisa hugged her back, both giggling into each other.
“Besides” Lisa said. “We haven’t even made it through even half of your question game yet” Lisa smirked, gently withdrawing from their embrace.
“Well.” Carla spoke. Running her tongue along her lips. She saw the way Lisa was watching her. “You can continue your interrogation when you get home. Text me. You know what I’m like-“
“You want to know I’m home safe, yeah I know. You’re too sweet, Carla Connor.” Lisa interrupted and as she pressed a gentle kiss to Carla’s cheek, she turned on her heel and headed for home.